The lovely Toffeenut prompted the word "gum"… and I suddenly had an urge to be mean to Kurt.

(I'm so sorry Kurt baby please forgive me I love you)

Bubble Gum

"Blaine!" Kurt called in a hysterical voice. "Blaaaaine!"

Blaine rushed into their bedroom, finding Kurt standing in front of the mirror, a hand-mirror positioned behind his head. He was angling it so he could look at the back of his head… where there was something small and very pink in his hair.

"Um… You got something in your hair."

"No shit, Sherlock." Kurt spat, and then groaned. "Sorry, sorry. That was rude."

Blaine reached out to see if he can-

"No, don't touch it! Ew!" Kurt turned to face him, putting down the mirror. His eyes were wide open in horror. "How did I even- Oh." He slapped his hand against his forehead, strong enough to probably hurt. Blaine pulled it away from his face instinctively, holding it securely between his hands.

"What is it?" asked Blaine gently.

"I almost fell asleep on the subway- I told you I was tired. So I leaned back against the seat…"

Blaine grimaced. "Oh no."

"Blaine, you need to help me," he begged. "I can't just cut it out of my hair!"

Blaine squeezed his hand. "No, no, of course not. We'll see what we can do without cutting it. I'll call Carol."

Apparently Carol is well experienced with situations of the sort. She informed Blaine that the easiest ways to remove the gum is to apply peanut butter to it, or rub it with Vaseline, and then comb it out. He thanked her, and went back to Kurt, who was still looking at the mirrors, terrified.

"Come on, prince in distress. Let's get that thing out."

He led Kurt to the kitchen, but when he took the peanut butter out of the fridge, Kurt jumped from his seat. "You're not putting peanut butter in my hair."

"Kurt, do you want to get the gum out your hair or not?" he sighed.

"It can stay there if that's the only solution we've got. No peanut butter in my hair, Blaine."

"Fine, fine. Carol said we can use Vaseline, too. Do we have some?"

"Um…"

After searching for about ten minutes, apparently they didn't have any Vaseline. Kurt sat on the couch with his head in his hands, frustrated to his core.

Blaine rubbed his back. "We could still use the peanut butter…"

"No."

"Alright, alright," sighed Blaine. "Wait, I think I got an idea! Just a second," he said excitedly, and almost ran to the bedroom, returning after a few seconds with a small tube in his hand.

"Blaine, ew!" Kurt called. "We're not putting lube in my hair!"

"Why not? Won't be the first time, and now we know it's washable."

Kurt grunted, even for frustrated. What was worse, peanut butter or lube? He buried his head in his palms again. "Okay. Can you get a comb and some tissues?"

Blaine found both required items in the bathroom and returned to Kurt.

"Blaine," Kurt said in his please-help-I-am-not-above-begging voice, "Will you, please, please, please take it out so I don't have to touch it?"

Blaine kissed his forehead. "Of course, honey." With practiced motions, he squeezed out a drop of lube onto his finger, took a breath, and smiled. Kurt put his head on his knees, presenting the back of his head to Blaine, who gently started rubbing the lube on. "This is so weird," he giggled.

"Blaine," whined Kurt.

"Okay, okay," he stifled a chuckle, getting more lube and spreading it in Kurt's hair.

"Is it out yet?" Asked Kurt after a few minutes.

"Just a moment." Blaine grabbed the comb, gently, gently running it through Kurt's hair and tugging just a little bit to make the gum slide out… "Yes!" he called triumphantly.

"Is it out, is it out?"

Blaine wrapped it in a piece of tissue paper, and cleaned the comb with another piece.

"Yes, it is. No damage done."

Kurt sprang from the couch, wrapping his hands around Blaine's neck and kissing him forcefully, taking him by surprise. "Thank you, thank you, thank you. You're the best boyfriend ever and I love you and you deserve a thousand blowjobs and I'll even massage your feet and I'll never call you short even if I'm kidding ever again and-"

"Kurt," said Blaine, smiling, and kissed him lightly. "As much as I'd love all those things, I think you need a shower to wash the lube out, and relax after this traumatizing experience. And I'll help with both. Alright?"

Kurt nodded, nose rubbing against Blaine's cheek, and his body slumped over Blaine's. "Thank you."

"And you can give me those thousand blowjobs later."

Kurt laughed, kissing Blaine again.

Also, thank god for WikiHow. I never knew there were so many different ways to get a gum out of someone's hair without cutting it out.