Chapter Seventy Eight

Bella

I waited apprehensively for Emmett and Rose to get back, I had to apologize and hope Emmett would forgive me but more than that hope Rosalie would. She had sounded so angry with me but I couldn't blame her. I tried to think how I would have felt if someone hurt Jasper and decided Rose had probably been very mild in her reaction, I'd have ripped the bitch responsible to pieces and put a match to the pieces then stood and laugh as she burned.

If I had hurt anyone else I would feel guilty but not as bad, Emmett had always treated me with kindness like a little sister. Carlisle and Esme had popped into town to arrange for some building materials to be delivered so they could repair their house, the house I had almost demolished in my temper.

Jay sat with me and that helped, it was like having Jasper there in spirit giving me some courage. I had known I would become a vampire, how could I be Jasper's mate and remain human? I had known it wouldn't be easy but I wasn't prepared when it happened to me. I guess that was true of all vampires though, they never had any say in their conversion nor did they have any warning and not many had any idea what was happening to them.

At least I understood what had happened and knew a little about their world but it was still hard. I now had some idea of the suffering Edward and then Jasper had been through to be with me. The burn in my throat was constant and I wasn't even near any humans, how I would cope if I smelled human blood I had no idea and I didn't want to find out, at least not yet.

"What's it like? Drinking human blood I mean?"

He shrugged,

"I've got nothing to compare it too I guess. It stops the burning in your throat for a while. That's the worst thing living with a constant thirst for blood. What's it like drinking animal blood?"

I smiled,

"Touche. It never really quenches my thirst it just makes it more bearable I guess. Do you think Jasper will ever be able to go back to animal blood after drinking human again?

"I don't know Bella but he's strong willed, he did it before and he'll want to do it again not only because of the feelings he has to absorb with it either. I don't think he'll want you to become a human hunter."

"I'll understand if he can't."

"I'm sure he knows that Bella. I guess for now you should be worrying more about this kick ass gift of yours. Its going to be hard to control unless you can focus on it and nothing else.

"I have to especially if it will help Jazz and the others, I want to be useful not a hindrance."

"You'd better get a handle on your rage in that case Bella."

I turned to see Rose and Emmett coming into view hand in hand making me want to hold Jasper's hand even though I knew it would be impossible for days if not weeks. Who knew? I got up and approached them slowly unable to meet Emmett's eyes but seeing the angry scar on his neck not hidden by his open shirt collar.

"Emmett, I am so sorry. I wish I could take it back, I don't know what happened I just lost it but that's no excuse for hurting you. I really hope you can find a way to forgive me."

I waited for the rejection I knew would come tensing myself but then I felt his huge arms wrap around me and heard his rumbling voice,

"Hey Bella don't sweat it. I did far worse as a newborn, I even bit Carlisle so I guess I can't complain when I get some of the same."

I leaned back to look up into his face unable to believe what I was hearing.

"You forgive me? Just like that?"

He grinned and kissed the top of my head,

"Actually Bella I like your style. You take on the biggest vampire you can and almost demolish a house, all at the same time, that's quite something."

I relaxed against him feeling comforted by his hug in a way I couldn't have in Jay or Carlisle's arms. This was my big brother hugging me and I made the most of the warm safe feeling it gave me.

Jay

I was pleased to see Bella make her peace with Em and Rose, I knew how fond she was of the amiable giant. I'd spoken to them while we hunted, before I broke off to come back, and knew Emmett wouldn't hold a grudge but Rose was more difficult to convince. I think if Em hadn't spoken up so strongly for Bella there could have been trouble but even Rose who appeared a little cold and distant at times was fond of Bella and she soon came down from her annoyed stance when Em gave her ythat look of his.

It was almost impossible to argue with him or be annoyed when he gave you that look, part boyish grin, part devil. I was privileged to be accepted into the family as Alice's mate, they had the kind of strong close relationships that I had always craved but never thought I would find.

Bella

When Esme and Carlisle got back they were amused to see Emmett and I wrestling on the lawn in good humor.

"Well she's a faster learner than you Emmett and it seems more controlled too thankfully. The building materials will be here in a couple of days and then you two can put right the damage you caused."

I shook my head standing up and brushing grass from my clothes and hair.

"It was all my fault Esme I should put it right not Emmett."

"Emmett has plenty of experience Bella, he'll show you and maybe you'll both know better next time."

As she finished speaking Esme grinned and I knew I was forgiven,

"Bella, put beside Emmett the damage you caused was negligible, forget about it. The newborn phase is the most difficult but it doesn't last forever. Now lets see if we can make at least part of the house inhabitable shall we?"

I looked at Carlisle,

"Emmett and Jay have offered to help me explore my gift. If I can control it, learn everything about it, how strong, its range, then I will be able to help you and Jasper when it comes to the battle."

He glanced disapprovingly at the guys then sighed,

"I guess there's no point in reminding you that as a newborn you'll be a danger to your own side if you lose you temper? Nor that Jasper wouldn't want you there, he'd like to know you were somewhere safe, far from the fighting?"

I shook my head,

"Nope, besides would you be willing to sit on the sidelines if you knew Esme was in danger? Or you Rose if it were Emmett?"

Rose laughed and raised an eyebrow,

"Far be it from me to tell you what to do Bella. I'd have a mutiny on my hands, besides you're right, I wouldn't sit and wait wondering what might be happening."

She turned to Carlisle,

"I'm with Bella on this one, sorry Carlisle."

"Yes me too, so long as you can control yourself Bella but you have to prove that first."

Once Esme put her weight behind me Carlisle knew he had lost and nodded.

"Very well but you train hard and prove to me that you can control, yourself. If not you stay behind even if I have to remove both legs to ensure it."