Echoes from the past

The rain was falling from a sky the colour of dirty linen, and the windy air was chilly, heralding the impending fall season. Aphrodite was defying the elements though, walking the beach and letting the chilly waves kiss her bare feet, the foam making temporary ornaments around her ankles before returning to its home element. She knew she had to move on soon. After almost thirty years in Mycenae she was having a harder and harder time to pretend she was 'just another mortal.' Being 22 nobody cared that she was unmarried and just a little bit more than ordinarily clever. But now, when she was supposedly fifty, it had become an entirely different matter, and way harder to pretend.

She had become appreciated for always being able to take care of those she loved and the godchildren she had acquired when Lilo, Chrysante and other friends had had children. So over the years people had started to want to 'return the favour' trying to date Aphrodite with whatever men there were around. Truth was, she was longing as well. Longing for the warm arms of another human being, a man whose chest was just waiting for her to put her head towards it and listen to his heartbeats as her golden locks fanned out over his broad torso. Yet she knew that it would not do. It was impossible for her to take a mortal man, she couldn't have children with him, because then she would have told the truth about whom she was. Normal decency demanded that. Aphrodite knew better than to lie to a person she was about to spend her life together with, even if it was temporary - as it would doubtless be with a mortal man. Nothing good came out of those kinds of lies. They lead only to heartbreaks. Heartbreaks and accusations, tears and evil words spewed in anger. Hurt! She didn't want to hurt anyone!

No, Aphrodite knew she had to move on. She had to arrange a reason to move on - or 'kill' herself, although none of these alternatives felt appealing to her. As time went by she had made so many friends in Mycenae. People who were closer to her than most families could be. There were Lilo and Evander and their six children. There were Chrysante and Lykandros and their two pair of twins. There were Tilia and Anaximander and Eleutheria and Aspis with families and a lot more who she had helped over the years. Not only to find each other but to stay together as well. When marriages were going sour, people tend to come to her, asking what was wrong in their relation and how they could fix it. She had helped them along as best as she could, which had given her quite a reputation in Mycenae over the years.

But you can't keep it going forever, she knew that. Not as a pretended mortal at least. She knew that no matter how much it hurt, she had to leave. To move on. To say goodbye to all her friends and go somewhere else and start anew.

Or she could return to the lands of the gods. That would be the easiest way. Still... she sighed as she kneelt down and picked up an extra special seashell. A cone shaped one, spiraling and spiraling as if it planned to go on forever. White with delicate orange patterns. She held the chilly object to her cheek, felt its cold wetness against her warm skin, rubbed it slightly as if to remind herself of the jagged edges of reality.
"I need a plan," she whispered to herself. "I need a way to say goodbye to these people - and I need somewhere to go."

Aphrodite turned the seashell around in her hand then she held it to her lips and spoke into the hole at the end of the base, as if she could record her words into the outlines of eternity.
"If I go back THERE again, HE will be there. And I do not want to encounter HIM. Neither do I want to explain to THEM why I do not want to encounter HIM. Not to mention HER. Because they will demand an elucidation and I do not have a good one to give them. It hurts. It still hurts so very very much and I do not want that. And I do not want to even begin to try to tell anyone why. Oh, Mother! Why didn't I ever listen? I was always your little girl - until that night..."

Tears stung her lavender eyes at the memory before she forced it back into the dark closets of mind again and locked the drawer, turning the elaborated silver key before holding it in her hand a bit, feeling its serrated coldness hurt her. With a profanity she made a move as if throwing that key far far out in the ocean, losing it among the waves. It was all a game of pretention of course, but it was a comforting game. The world of the gods was a harsh one. Quite a bit different and more unexpected and unrelenting than the mortal world. The mortals had their hardship all right, but these were so considerably less complicated, and even if there was pain and loss of terrible varieties it was nothing like what she had been through in the world of the gods.
"I hereby confess," she told the sea-shell, "That when the inevitable day for me comes, and I have to return to the gods, I will not tell anyone of the betrayal. They will never know and I will never have to explain."

Putting her sea-shell down in her straw basked, Aphrodite turned and began walking up the beach again. The goddess left the hard wet sand behind and crossed the soft dry one, until she reached a stone where she could sit down and will away the sand which had stuck on her feet. There she picked out her sandals from the basket and put them on. Then she began walking back home, an embryo of a plan dawning in her mind.

*0*0*

On a hill, a hooded figure was regarding her with a thoughtful look. A figure who had been following Aphrodite now for some time. Someone who knew more about her than she could ever begin to guess - because it was the figure's work to know these things. The figure decided to not follow Aphrodite up to Mycenae though. It was not yet time...

*0*0*

Goodbyes are always hard. There were tears and hugs and Aphrodite did her best to not become a whimpering ninny when she said goodbye to her friends. But the story of a dead brother in Sparta had worked as a cover, a reason for her to leave.
"Do come back!" Lilo had pleaded, hugging her hard.
"I am not sure I will," Aphrodite admitted. "My brother left quite a fortune. A business, things to take care of."
"He had no children?"
"Daughters who are - well not responsible. His wife died young. I should have gone to him earlier, I know. I failed him in that. So I have to do it now - the duty of my family. I have to find husbands for those girls, caring and good men for them! Make sure they turn out fine!"
"That you'll manage with excellence, I know!" Lilo exclaimed.

"Whatever happens, take care!" Tilia said to her and gave her the next hug. Then she reached inside of her bag and took out a parcel wrapped up in parchment and tied with henna-red cords. "This is for you, nothing fancy, but I hope it'll make you remember us."
"But honey," Aphrodite gently answered. "Gift or no gift, I will always remember you my dear."
"As we will remember you, dear Aphrodite," Chrysante promised. "You have meant so much to all of us, to all of our lives, and we are so happy to have learned to know you. If ever the gods look down upon you, I hope they bless you thoroughly."

With those words Chrysante had picked up her gift, it wasn't as large as Tilia's, but Aphrodite could tell its value by the weight. Jewelry of some kind, when Chrysante's brother had stopped drinking fifteen years ago, he had been able to perform his profession with much more excellency than earlier. This wasn't Aphrodite's deed though, Carios had been able to pick himself out of the gutter on his own rather than relying upon someone else, and for that Aphrodite was full of admire. While she put the little red silk purse in the basket her eyes blurred again - for what time in order she didn't know.

There had been more gifts, almost a basket full of them before Aphrodite had said fare well to all her friends. There had been tears and even some laughter and tries at bad jokes. After that it had been almost harder to say good bye to all her god children. She had promised their parents that she would keep watching over them. Little did anyone know how true that promise actually was.

Finally she was on her way, riding south-west on a newly bought horse, wondering where the winds would take her, where she would find peace to stop.

*0*0*

"Where are you going now, Aphrodite, daughter of Danae," the figure on the roof mumbled. "When will you stop running from the inevitable and reach the insight that you need to do deal with your life. That you need to turn around and face your daemons to become the one you are meant to be. To fight them and finally conquer them. Or they will haunt you forever."

The hooded figure then thought about the Great Lord, knowing that He would not help before Aphrodite had shown that she was willing to help herself first. The Lord loved the fighters, the ones with the desire to conquer and to win, but he didn't give much for the dreamers and even less for those who ran from their problems. And if Aphrodite was to become the one she was meant to be, the one the watcher hoped her to become, she had to deal with her life first. And that she had to do on her own.
"You're perfect, little one," the watcher went on. "But the great Lord might lose his patience if you do no come around and shed your shell. He has already started to look for your kind elsewhere, and it wouldn't be good neither for you nor for me if you were to fail. If He found someone else for his plans. Because, Aphrodite, you may be perfect. If you just go ahead and do what you have to do."

*0*0*

It was mid-winter when Aphrodite finally reached a place where her heart told her to stop. Cydonion was a minor village in Southern Attica, not far from where the City of Athens would come to be in another hundred years of time. The goddess had done the same thing as when she reached Mycenae all those years ago. She 'became 22' again and this time she took advantage of her knowledge of medicine and found work with the local doctor who was an old man and not able to put in that many hours anymore. Gerdanion was more than happy to find a helper, especially since he was expected to double as a veterinarian.

Perhaps she had done this all over again, staying eight and twenty years in a place, helping along mortals with their love life - if she hadn't encountered a certain divine couple. They arrived, dragging all her memories on a little wagon behind them. Or so it felt.

"Aphrodite!" It was Ciresia who encountered her first and in a kind of unexpected and unwelcome situation. Aphrodite had just helped a farmer delivering a foal, and she was covered in blood and grime, even her lovely face was stained. Nothing unusual, that happened when mammals birthed, wherever they were men or horses. Or gods too for that matter. Aphrodite had helped pulling out the little one from the mama mare and was just about to make sure the foal could rise and find the teat - when she felt that familiar itch in her neck. So long ago since she had felt that very sensation, and still so recognizable.

"So it's here you're hiding?" the other goddess said as she walked out from the shadows, her green dress flowing like whirling mist behind her, unbothered by the dirty and clogged barn they were in, or all the sharp object it could have got caught upon - if it wasn't for the goddess' almost subconscious control over matter. Her strawberry blond hair was shining like being on fire in the dim light of the oil lamps but her gray-blue eyes were cold as ice.
"So it seems," Aphrodite replied, directing it solely on the goddess as the world more or less froze around them and the mortal farmer and help seemed to hold up in their antic, as did the horse and its foal.
"Hiding among mortals, doing their dirty job, soiling yourself with animal blood, what is really the point of that?" Ciresia went on.

"Still bitter, I take it?" Aphrodite returned as she stood up and dried off her hands on her rough linen pants.
"Bitter, hah!" Ciresia grinned. "I'm not the one who ran away head over heels like a thief in the night, leaving my poor sister to try to explain away my dumbass antics. I'm not the one who tried to steal someone else's man - and failing badly. And I'm not the one who is too much of a coward to stand up for myself and admitting it. I'm not the one hiding among mortals."

At those stabbing words Aphrodite felt the old anger - and shame – hit home, and with burning cheeks she rose.
"You know it was never like that. You know who lied. To both of us. Ceridion didn't tell you either. He kept both of us, me for a safe way out if you had said 'no'. He never told you that, right?"
"You still believe that?" Ciresia said. "You've always been a tad stupid, Aphrodite, but even you ought to see that the only one you're fooling with your spiel is yourself. If even that."
"So how come you never asked Ceridion about it? If you thought I was making it up? Is it so, Ciresia, that you didn't dare? That you were afraid that I might be right?"

"Bah, I'm not half that imprudent. Besides, you've been gone from the immortal realm now for what is it? Forty years? What do you know about what I and my husband might've been discussing when you was not around?"
"If you HAD discussed it with Ceridion you wouldn't have approached me like this, because then you'd known that we were both victims of his subversions. Then again you never were the most self-assured person around, so I'm not exactly surprised that you never dared to face Ceridion, demanding of him to shed the light over what really happened. Why he betrayed you with me on the very day you were engaged."

"It was easy enough for everyone to see," Ciresia said and came up to Aphrodite, standing only some 10 inch from the other goddess, while glaring at her with poison in her eyes. "You came to Coronassa with one clear idea in mind - to seduce Ceridion. To claim him for yourself, just like you've always been claiming men - and then thrown them by the wayside when you were done with them. You fooled Ceridion, tricked him down in your bed when he was preparing for a future together with someone else. You never could take 'no' for an answer, Aphrodite."
"And why was it that Ceridion came to me so willingly then?" Aphrodite replied. "Was it because something you lacked. Something you couldn't give to him? Were you frigid already back then?"

Ciresia's face-slap stung like a bee and Aphrodite backed off in funk, almost tripping over a bucket with tools.
"Enough already of your insults, Aphrodite. I am not the one who hides among mortals. I still hold a revered place among the deathless. I am venerated as a protectress of oaths made between men; I don't appreciate those who break those. And for all I care, Aphrodite, you may rot down here among animal blood and fecal for the rest of eternity. And don't you ever dare to compare yourself with me, whatever it comes to Ceridion or anything or anyone else."

With those words the goddess disappeared in a flash, leaving magic sparkles of green, orange and pink flying in the airs in her wake. Aphrodite felt tears sting her eyes, not only because of the slap but also because of the memories the goddess' appearance had awoke. She blinked, less than a second had passed in the mortal world, and the farmer and his helped hadn't noticed a thing of what had passed. They were preoccupied with the foal and as far as they knew the veterinarian had just stood up, as if to proclaim that her work was done here and that the dappled newborn was fine. Which they could confirm with their own eyes as well. Aphrodite was quick to gather her wits as well as her tools of the trade and wrap up her business here; she sure needed to get away from this stable now.

*0*0*

Only moments after having finished her dealings with the mortals, the goddess found herself diving from the top of a cliff and down in the ice cold Aegean, avoiding the jagged rocks as she leaped and plowing down in the foaming and heaving waters, not even bothered with undressing. After all her tunic and pants needed to be cleaned as well. So why not taking care of that at the same time?

As the chilly, green waters closed around her head and her body adjusted itself to pulling oxygen out water instead of air, she felt the tension loosen from her mind, the pointy edges withdrawn from her belly and her shoulders relax. She thought she was crying, but it was hard to tell under water, and with strong arm movements she plowed herself out into the depths, diving down until she saw nothing of the daylight seeping down. Now her eye-sight shifted to infrared and all turned monochrome and kind of greenish, like she had entered a new world.

Finally she reached the sandy bottom of the sea, and there she lay down and gave in to despair. Why was life so unfair? Why wasn't she allowed to find happiness? Why had she fallen for a man who belonged to somebody else, and who was too much of a coward to let her know it? Who had lied to her, concealing that he was on the brink of engagement, when he had sworn her his love, praised her beauty and giving her gifts of gold and sapphires.

*0*0*

"To go with your eyes," Aphrodite, Ceridion said as he placed the necklace around her neck, making sure the pedants came to rest in a perfect pattern across her milk-white torso. The sapphires and diamonds caught the sunlight and sent off sparkles in all directions, painting ephemeral graffiti in the ceiling of the guestroom, giving the mosaic Poseidon an avantguardish rainbow tattoo across his tight where he stood wielding his trident towards the waves surrounding him.
"It's lovely," she smiled as she leaned back towards his strong form, felt his warm breath tickle her ear.
"I hoped you'd think so. My cousin Curian made it. He's working for Hephaestos, the genius son of Zeus and Hera."
"I've heard of Hephaestos. He makes remarkable things, they say. Although you could tell your cousin that I think this work is well in level with what I imagine Hephaestos would be able to make."

Ceridion chuckled.
"Oh, my cousin is so modest. He'd say something like him being only a humble assistant and apprentice and there's nothing like the things the great god makes."
"Why is everybody so humble when it comes to the Olympians?" Aphrodite asked, a slight annoyance creeping into her voice. "Aren't we - regular gods - good enough?"
"Oh, I don't want to discuss politics now. Not when we have so little time."

"How long are you staying, beloved?" she tilted her head backwards, making sure to tickle him with a few golden strands of her hair and she could feel that it had affected him.
"Only over the weekend, then I have to move on. I'm expected at Hyperion's court at Firstday next week."
"Which gives us - three days! Oh, Ceridion, when will we get the time to really enjoy each other without having to keep one eye at the hourglass at the same time?"
"Lovely Aphrodite, one day I promise I will give you all the time in the world. But not now when everything is so complicated and hectic, with the negotiations with the overseas gods going on. But sweetest of mine, our time will surely come!"

"I'm looking forward to that, beloved!" Turning around in his arms, Aphrodite met his lips in the most fulfilling kiss. She felt her heart leap when they embraced each other and when he slowly started to untie the cords holding her peach-coloured dress together she felt herself shiver with excitement. She let her hands travel across his back, sweeping off the indigo toga, which was the only garment he was using and exposing his bronzed body in all its divine glory. It didn't take long before they both stood naked facing each other.
"You sure are the most beautiful goddess there is!" her beloved said as he eyed her from top to toe, taking in her slender curves, her high breasts and her pale skin, which held a tint of roses as well, as if it was shining from inside. Her full but delicate lips, her little nose - and then those eyes. Those were of the kind you wanted to drown in. To dive down in that lavender blue and rest on the bottom of one of those wells, lie there surrounded by sparkling blue for all eternity...

"Talking 'bout Olympians, not even Hera could compete with you," Ceridion said as he took her cheek in his hand and caught her lips once more.
"Hera, hmmm... I saw her once. She's stellar. How can anyone compete..."
"But not as lush and vibrant as you, dearest. So now it is you who are modest. I..."
"Hush, dear! Don't talk just kiss!"

Ceridion wasn't late to conform to her pleading, he opened his mouth to taste her, using lips and tongue for exploration. First they met lips to lips and then they were tasting other parts of each other. Traveling around torsos, breasts, necks, earlobes, fingers and navels. Then further down. Ceridion had let his body fall backwards on the bed with her on top of himself, losing himself in her form, cradling her buttocks in his hands while kissing her neck, tickling that little cleft where her collarbones met. Aphrodite moaned with pleasure, this man was incredible. All he did was outstanding! Remarkable! She wanted him so very much, she loved him so very much. She wished to spend eternity with him.

"Ceri," she craved, "take me - make me forever yours!"
"Forever, Aphrodite! Always forever," he replied as he lifted her slightly in the air and pierced her on his erect member and began leading the way into the dance of joy. That was the most wonderful sensation she had felt in a long time. If ever! Ceridion had something even other gods lacked. He had the means to entrance her, to hold her and make a moment seem like forever. As she felt herself climax around him he helped along with his hand and fingers, finding that tiny button meant to push for heightened pleasure. The one she had showed him once, a knowledge he was eternally grateful for. As was she.

While Aphrodite reached the peak of her orgasm Ceridion released himself inside of her as well, and she craned her neck. First backwards and then forwards so she was facing him, taking in his hazel eyes which became dizzy with the sensation of ultimate pleasure when he came as well, gasping her name and trashing his head, making his long, black locks play along the snow white cotton of the pillows and the beads of gold which adorned them had tinkled against the brass of the bedpost.
"Aphrodite," he exhaled. "You mean the world to me!"

She had believed him.

Big mistake.