Chapter Four:
And God knows I'm not dying but I bleed now. And God knows it's the only way to heal now.
Undisclosed Location, England:
Ginny had never seen Draco this distraught. The Greengrass girl had been taken, the girl Draco had followed to New York. Ginny didn't understand why, not until Nott had informed her that Draco and the girl had been betrothed since her birth. An arranged marriage, Ginny thought, peculiar.
Ginny wasn't unaccustomed to them, obviously she was pureblood and many of her cousins' marriages had been arranged. It was strange that Draco would go all the way to New York for his betrothed, a girl he had barely spoken to in his life.
She supposed it was because he was searching, grasping, for a connection to his past. Grabbing onto whatever reminded him of what was. Anything that connected him to his father, his mother.
Still though, he was betrothed and he never told her. Of course, he didn't have to but it would have been nice to know. Gods, she sounded jealous. What they had, what they did was purely out of frustration and a need to forget. No emotions, because they both knew they could never, ever fall in love.
Her heart belonged to a corpse and his was ice, impenetrable to even the hottest of touches. Or so it seemed.
Even so, she was the one he took to bed, she was the one whose door he knocked upon, whose safe house he would show up at if he ever felt lonely, or just needed to forget. Hearing from Nott that the man she let into her bed was betrothed felt almost like a stab in the back, it reminded Ginny that no matter how much he seemed to trust her, them, it wasn't enough and perhaps never would be.
Draco was going over strategies, informing the volunteers of which Death Eaters would be on guard the night they had decided to get Astoria back.
"Pansy Parkinson." Parkinson? Pansy Parkinson? Ginny looked at Draco, but it seemed he was avoiding eye contact with her. That's why he didn't want me going, Ginny thought. He knows what I would do.
Ginny sent Draco a look she knew he wouldn't be able to see and left the room. He was denying her revenge, again. He knew, he knew, he knew, he knew that revenge against Pansy Parkinson and Crabbe was what she wanted, what she needed.
He knew that it was because of them she couldn't sleep. Because of them when she closed her eyes she saw her parents, Bill, Fred, Ron- all dead. Hermione- hell even Cho Chang's mutilated body that had been found in the same village as one of their safe houses in France. Her family, her friends, all gone.
She knew that it wasn't really their fault for every life she had lost, but Hermione's death, Hermione's death they had caused.
Hermione had been captured a little over a year ago, she had been tortured and her body had been barely even recognizable. Ginny still felt sick even thinking about that day, the day Neville had shown up at the safe house she was staying in and told her of what he had found. Later they found out she had been given to a werewolf after they found no use for her.
Ginny knew that Draco didn't want her to get hurt, despite their agreement of 'no feelings' he did care for her. She was, according to him, the only one who he could stand for more than ten minutes at a time. It still hurt though.
"I thought I'd find you here," Ginny turned to see the former Slytherin leaning again the doorway. To someone who didn't know him he looked like a regular nineteen year old, maybe a bit too thin. But Ginny did know him. She could see just how tired he was, the purple under his eyes almost too noticeable, he wasn't his normal pale either; he looked sick, almost as though he were deathly ill.
"When's the last time you actually slept?" Ginny asked, ignoring his previous statement. She knew he wanted to talk, but if she were honest (and she always was) she didn't want to. Nothing he had to say would make her feel any better, or less hurt.
Draco shrugged leaning away from the doorframe as he stepped inside, Ginny would never be able to understand how after everything he still managed to keep his "Malfoy swagger". He walked a little more slowly than usual, to many it would seem as though he had just had a long day of work, but she knew that he was actually recovering from a wound. The bloody idiot had nearly killed himself saving Luna. "Who needs sleep?"
Ginny fought the urge to roll her eyes, "Normal people, Draco. You can't push yourself like this, it isn't healthy."
"Yes, I know, thank you," Draco replied, his tone was too snarky for Ginny's liking. He brought himself over to the old green couch in front of the stone fireplace, almost draping himself across it. "Perhaps I'll take a nap, then? You can the rest can do whatever?"
Ginny stepped so she was in his line of vision, "Why didn't you tell me?"
He raised a pale eyebrow, "Pardon?"
"About her, why didn't you tell me?" Ginny wasn't in the mood for games, but by gods she would have her answer.
Draco shrugged and Ginny pretended she didn't seem him wince, "Never came up, I suppose."
She scoffed, shaking her head, "Never came up? You're a real piece of work, you know that Malfoy? Merlin, you could have told me- it wouldn't have changed anything!"
"If it wouldn't have changed anything, why are you making a big deal about it now?" He closed his eyes, as though he had one the argument with that simple question.
Why was she making a big deal about it? Because he lied, a voice whispered in her head.
"If we get her back, and everything goes according to plan will you still marry her?" She needed to know this, why didn't know but she did.
"When," he said, "When we get her back."
A/N: This is the chapter that I said was going to be either five or six, but I lied. I felt like we needed a little break from Astoria to see what Draco is doing. Also, Ginny.