Chapter Ninety

Bella

I couldn't believe it when my mate kept pushing me away. I needed him and I wasn't important enough for him to give me any of his time. It hurt and then the hurt while still there kept going back and forth from hurt to anger. I thought that maybe since I was a vampire that he was no longer interested in me.Maybe it wasn't really me he loved but my blood.

But I know for a fact that he is my mate. Now that I'm like him I can feel the pull, the pain of not being close to him, as well as the intense need to claim him as mine. I even feel the need to make sure he smells like me, as well as wanting to rip apart the females looking at him.

It was after the humans had been brought in that I realized what was going on. He was refusing to look at me straight in the eye. He was feeling ashamed, and guilty for what he had to become in order to fool Caius. I needed him to understand that it didn't bother me, and that I understood the sacrifices he had made in order to take the bastard down. I went once again to try to talk to him.

When he pushed me away and growled the pain that I felt was the most intense ever. I would say that it was worse than even the burning of the transformation and I found myself crying. The next thing I knew Peter had walked up to Jasper and punched him. I, along with everyone else expected Jasper to attack but instead he just stood there a few seconds before returning to his task of burning body parts.

I felt my anger flare but Peter beat me to it by grabbing Jasper's arm jerking him around to face him and then punched him again. This time it was hard enough to cause Jasper to fall backwards. When he still didn't react Peter grabbed him and jerking him back up so that he was in his face he told him,

"I don't know what makes you think its OK to ignore your mate, but I'm not gonna fucking stand by and watch you hurt her any more than you already have."

"She's had to watch as you left her. You know what its like to be separated but she's been to hell and back. She was badly injured and although I wasn't there I was the one that Jay called to ask me what he should do. Then she had to spend her first few weeks as a newborn without her mate by her side. When she finally gets to him he wants to be an asshole and fucking refuses to even look at her.

Are you dumb or just plain stupid? You need to grab your balls wherever the fuck you left them and talk to her. She's your mate and I for one along with a few others refuse to stand by and watch you hurt her any more. Now you shut your mouth. You're coming with me and we're gonna go hunting and then you will need to explain to me why the fuck its so important to push your mate away."

Peter never even gave Jasper a chance to reply before dragging him away. I started to go after them but it was Alice that stopped me. She said that she understood what was going on and if I was willing she would explain it to me as she knew him very well. Unfortunately, that didn't sit too well with me and I had to be held back from attacking her by Jay who ended up with a couple of new bites.

When I had finally calmed down enough she explained what I already knew deep down and that was my mate was feeling guilt and shame for what he had to become all over again. He didn't think that I could or would ever forgive him which was stupid to me but then I remembered the pain in his eyes as he had told me his story.

I have to say that my reaction surprised even me as the more I thought about it the more pissed off I got. How dare he presume to know how I would feel about what he had to do! Its not like he did it because he wanted to. I decided that I was gonna rip his ass apart when I got a hold of him. Then I was gonna claim it as MINE!

Peter

After we were a few miles away I stopped and then let go of his arm. I told him we were going hunting and then he was gonna go back and let his mate know how sorry he was for hurting her, after he fucking explained to me why he would act like that towards his mate.

He spoke for the first time as we headed where I knew some cougars lived. Carlisle had told me that those cats could live anywhere but they liked the mountains for the most part and fortunately there were mountains all around Death Valley. I don't even think that my brother realized that I had taken him away from human habitats.

"Peter why are we here?"

"Because my brother you need to get your head out of your fucking ass and feed. Then you need to go and give your undivided attention to Bella. She understands what you did and why you did it. She loves you and she doesn't give a fucking flying rats ass about it. She just needs you with her and you need her just as much. And we're here so that you can start back on your squirrel munching and get over your guilt. Now I happen to know that they have an overpopulation of cougars right now, so go for it!"

I watched as he went into his hunting mode, and after finding his first cat I went off to find my own critter to munch on. Yeah, this is what happens when you have a brother that needs you. You find yourself doing what they need instead of doing what you would normally do.

Bella

When Jasper and Peter got back I was waiting. He was gonna talk to me even if he had to do it with no legs. But as soon as he saw me he ran over to me and pulled me up and swung me around while kissing me. As soon as he put me down he said,

"I'm so sorry baby. I just couldn't handle seeing the disappointment in your eyes. But Peter helped me to realize that you didn't really care and I should have trusted your feelings for me enough to know that it wouldn't really matter to you but it does to me."

"I have to admit that when I found out what they were keeping from me I got really pissed at them and refused to have anything to do with them. I hated that they felt it necessary to keep it from me. But I hated even more that you had to go back to a lifestyle that you hated. It hurts that you had to become the monster that you loathed. Now let's just put it behind us. Did you hunt already?"

When he told me that he had indeed hunted and took down a cougar for feeding I sent him my pride. He was the strongest man and vampire ever and I was glad that he was mine. The problem came when Peter decided that it was time to have some fun.

We were polite and spent a few minutes with everybody but it got to the point where we needed each other. He had found some huge rocks and decided to go there and claim me but just as he had removed my shirt Peter showed up with the excuse that we were needed back at the camp.

This went on for a couple of hours but I could tell that both Jasper and I were reaching the point where there was gonna be venom drawn soon if we didn't get our smell on each other. I still smelled of Caius and others that I killed and that was making Jasper more volatile.

We finally spoke to Darius who told us about a place called Mammoth Lake. While there were humans, we could go to the areas where the humans were less likely. They had cabins that we could use that were away from any populated areas. He even went so far as to rent one that was the furthest away from humans as a gift to us. He also promised to not tell anyone where we had gone.

But Peter being Peter interrupted us as we were trying to shower. Well, we were actually planning to shower after we had some fun and maybe even during. But he came over to the makeshift shower and proceeded to try to harass us into telling him where we were going. Jasper finally had had it and jumped Peter and he left sporting a new bite.

After we left for our private time, of which we had absolutely none at all, it didn't take long to realize that Peter had followed us. Char was with him as well as Jay and Alice. Turns out that Peter was trying to rile up Jasper and had invited Jay and Alice as well as Char telling them that we had invited them. That pissed me off. He seemed to have forgotten that I was a newborn.

Jasper was about to attack but I beat him to it. Needless to say when we finally left, poor Char, Jay, and Alice would be spending a few minutes at least trying to put Peter back together.