Chapter Ninety Five

Charlotte

We stopped in down town San Antonio so I could do some shopping then went back to the car and drove out of town on the Interstate. I was tuning in the radio when Peter slammed the brakes on with a loud exclamation.

"Crazy bitch what's she trying to do? You think she could have just put her thumb out, got a fucking death wish or something? Hey…...Char you better look."

I looked up to see a figure standing in the road wrapped in a dark coat and wearing the hood pulled forward to hide her face.

God Peter, it's Sara."

I threw the door open and got out approaching her slowly as she flinched on hearing the door bang shut behind me.

"Sara? Does Maggie know where you are?"

She didn't speak or react to my voice just stood there so I reached out my hand and took hers hanging limply beside her. I was shocked when her fingers curled around mine in response,

Come on, lets take you back, Maggie will be worried about you."

She allowed me to guide her back to the car and we climbed in the back together then Peter turned the car around without a word and drove back to the house. I think he was scared to speak in case he scared her.

Maggie came to the door looking puzzled to see us returning until she spied Sara, then she ran down the steps to hug her looking over her shoulder at me.

"What happened? Where did you find her?"

"She just appeared in the middle of the road. I have no idea how she knew where to find us."

Maggie smiled looking as if she felt the first glimmer of hope,

"Sara has a gift, she can find someone if she really wants to but she hasn't used it since she got here, I guess there was no one she wanted to find. Has she said anything?"

"Nope she just walked back to the car with me."

Maggie looked at our clasped hands noticing Sara's had curled around mine,

"You'd better come in again then."

Sara walked at my side back into the house but instead of taking her back to her room which I felt might be the wrong thing to do I guided her into the back yard and sat with her on the wrought iron swing seat.

We sat in silence for some time then Peter stood up abruptly

"Come and show me your plants."

"What?"

Maggie looked confused but then her face cleared and she joined him putting her arm through his.

"Of course, this way. Ill show you my cacti collection."

Once we were alone I spoke again,

"Sara you came looking for me which means you want to talk to me. I'll stay as long as you need me but please say something, anything at all."

There was another silence and then I heard her voice, the merest whisper

"Charlotte."

"Yes Sara?"

"I'm so afraid."

"I know but you can trust me, I'll help you if you'll let me."

"Its too hard, all the memories. I wanted to forget but I can't and if I look in the mirror I can see the evidence. How did you learn to cope with it?"

"I understand, I was luckier, I have no outward scars like you but there is a way forward. If you let us help you."

"I have nothing to live for any longer but I'm trapped in this body that just won't die and Maggie won't let me go."

I wondered if she knew she was lying, she had left to find me and she drank when Maggie gave her blood so she didn't really want to die, only her memories.

"You know Darius is still waiting for you."

"He should have let me go a long while ago, he's wasting his life waiting for me. I m not good enough for him. I'm not the same girl he fell in love with, I've changed."

"We all change, that doesn't mean he loves you any less. He's very lonely Sara waiting and I know him, he'll never give up on you."

"He sends me things, pretty clothes, flowers, music, why does he bother? He wouldn't want me if he could see me now."

"He has seen you, he visits."

"He only sees what I cannot hide from him, my face. Do you see the terrible scars on my face Charlotte?"

"Of course but he sees beyond those in the same way our friend can see beyond his scars and trust me they are far worse than yours."

"There's a vast difference... he's a man, looks don't matter."

"Sara, our friend is so badly scarred all over his body that he scares most other vampires on sight but his mate doesn't care. She doesn't even notice them."

"It doesn't matter. I don't want Darius to look at me and remember what happened and he would, if we were ever to be intimate again. The scars on my face are not the only ones I carry."

"Darius loves you and he knows it wasn't your fault, what happened. You didn't do anything except try to get away from someone who was pursuing you."

"Does it matter? It's too late now, I can never go back to him."

"If that's true why are you speaking to me? Why not stay hidden in Maggie's house, in that room all alone?"

She didn't answer me but I knew she wondered that herself. I wasn't even sure she fully understood just how much she wanted to see Darius again, to be back with her mate. She'd hidden for so long she had fooled herself into believing everything she said.

"Why do you think Sulpicia sent you to Maggie?"

She shook her head her gaze far away and I worried she might be retreating once more.

"Sara?"

I don't know, to get me away from him I guess. She never told me. Or I was too distressed to hear her."

"I'm sure she did, you just refused to listen, Maggie was one of his victims too and she helped others to escape Caius."

She flinched when she heard his name but I continued.

"Maggie wanted to help you, to give you a peaceful haven to get away from all the memories and then Darius would come for you."

"I didn't want him to come."

"But he did and he keeps coming back hoping one day you will speak to him, smile at him and tell him you love him."

"Just like before? But things are not like before are they? Everything has changed, I'm different."

"No you're still Sara. If you stay in hiding then Caius has won, do you want that to happen?"

Again she flinched but I just waited for an answer.

"Why did you come Charlotte?"

Because Darius is a good man and I think he's suffered enough don't you?"

She got up and wandered slowly towards the lake stopping only when she reached the edge.

"I used to wish I could throw myself in here and drown, forget everything that had happened but being a vampire that would be impossible. I longed to be human again so I could end the pain and misery."

"I'm sorry but I think you're looking at this all wrong. You have every reason to live, you have a mate and while I'm sorry for what happened and your suffering you should understand that Darius is suffering just as much. Do you really think that's fair?"

"Darius?"

"Of course, don't you think he's suffering knowing you are alive but lost to him? Did you know he killed everyone who touched you everyone responsible except Caius."

She flinched again,

"Oh that one has the luck of the devil himself, he always has."

"He's dead."

She turned startled,

"Dead?"

"Yes, Darius was involved in bringing him down although he didn't strike the killing blow. So you see he got his revenge in the end. I think he wishes reaching you was so easy."

"Where is he?"

"Darius? He's with a friend but if you mean where he lives then alone and I guess none that you would know."

"But my shame is known to all it would seem."

Not to all, only to a few. Darius never speaks of it.

"I don't suppose he speaks of me at all."

"He still wears your ring and carries a picture of you."

"A picture? I gave him a drawing of me when we married, is that the one? If he expects the same pretty innocent young girl it's better I stay unreachable to him."

"No, that's just cruel and I don't think you are a cruel person. Why would you want to prolong his agony Sara? He loves you."

She didn't speak for a long time but sat eyes closed her hands clasped together moving convulsively and I knew she was terrified.