Same Ianto, Different Jack - Chapter 11
by Gracefultree
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Ianto fell asleep in the vaults next to Janet with a copy of The Time Machine open on his chest. Normally a light sleeper, New Jack's boots on the floor of the corridor didn't even make him stir. It was a sign of his exhaustion, both mental and physical, over the last few days. And it's not like he'd been rested before he jumped dimensions.
"What the fuck are you doing down here?" New Jack demanded loudly, angrily, startling Ianto awake.
Groaning, Ianto sat up, the book falling to the floor of the cell with a soft thud. He waved New Jack in through the open Perspex door. "I was sleeping," Ianto informed him grumpily.
"But why down here?"
"Because this way I can wait for the Rift and have a better chance of getting home, since you won't let me have access to Tosh's program."
"That's ridiculous! She'd tell us if it was coming up," New Jack protested. "You could have slept in my bunker, or on the couch."
"Oh, like I'm going to go down to your bunker without you?" Ianto asked sarcastically. "When Gwen can look at the CCTV feeds and see me going there? I'm sick of her staring at me all day looking daggers in my back. I don't want to bring it on myself!"
He picked up his book and closed it. He'd read it before, so he didn't need to remember what page he was on.
"Besides, the access Tosh gave me doesn't let me change the CCTV on my own," he admitted, though he didn't add that he'd logged in as Owen earlier in the day when the team was out and set up a dummy account for himself that could do just that. New Jack was being remarkably trusting, for Jack Harkness, and he seemed to want to help Ianto, but Ianto also knew that he needed to keep his wits about him and have one, if not three, back-up plans for getting the information he needed if he was to get home to his own universe and His Jack. He might consider making a few more identities on the Torchwood Three servers, come to think of it.
"Oh," New Jack said, surprised, his anger deflating. "I thought you didn't want to be with me."
Ianto rolled his eyes before answering. "I always want to be with you, Jack. It might be tiny and cramped, but your bunker is a hell of a lot more comfortable than this cell." He slipped on his shoes. "And after the day we've both had, it would be nice to curl up together, don't you think?"
In answer, New Jack held out his hand and pulled Ianto to his feet. "Come on, then. I brought some food, too, for a late night snack."
"Chinese?"
"Curry," New Jack replied. "I saw that you added your own favorites to the take away orders and none of the others like curry, so I thought you'd like it for a change."
"Ah." They walked side by side, not touching because of the cameras, all the way to the main Hub. New Jack led him to his office, where Ianto found that his desk was free of the usual detritus and paperwork. In its place were two place settings, with take away containers and a pair of candles. A bottle of wine chilled in a bucket on the floor. "Is this a date?" he asked, a slight smile on his lips.
"Um, yeah, if you want it to be," New Jack said, moving to his usual chair and sitting. "I thought, maybe if I wined and dined you, you'd put out tonight." He gave Ianto one of his brightest smiles, using the candle-light to the best advantage to show off his eyes and teeth. Ianto took the opposite chair and started dishing out curry. New Jack, obligingly, poured the wine.
"I'm not sure one date is enough," Ianto teased, in a better mood now that New Jack was showing some appreciation.
"We almost did this morning," New Jack reminded him.
"Different circumstances," Ianto said, taking a bite of curry. "I was worried that you'd cried yourself to sleep the night before."
New Jack paused, his fork halfway to his mouth. "Are you being serious?" he demanded softly.
"I'm serious about being worried about you."
"But sex…"
"We don't know how long I'm going to be here," Ianto pointed out. "I don't want you hooked on something you'll never have again if the Rift takes me back. When the Rift takes me back." He looked down at his plate, unsure where that thought came from. Two days ago, getting New Jack addicted to him was the plan. Something had changed, he was sure, though he couldn't pinpoint what it was, yet.
"Are you always this —"
"Pragmatic?" Ianto suggested.
"Infuriating! You're a cock-tease, that's what you are!"
"Have you made your choice? Will it be Gwen? Or me?"
"I can't just have both of you?"
"No, you can't. I won't share you with her. That's my condition," Ianto said firmly. "You're supposed to be getting married Saturday, yeah? It just turned Wednesday. That's three days, and change."
"What's gotten into you?" New Jack asked, putting down his fork. "You're different today. I mean, since I woke you up. Did something happen? Was it finding out about the you in this universe?"
Ianto closed his eyes and counted to ten before answering. This was what he feared would happen. New Jack, desperate for a real relationship, was putting all of that energy towards what was building with Ianto. And it felt wonderful! To have Jack, any Jack, care enough to notice his bad mood within half an hour? It was a dream come true.
Sure, His Jack was getting better on picking up his signals, on reading between the lines, on figuring out what Ianto was thinking, but he'd never ask anything like this. He might make some offhand comment letting Ianto know he knew something was up, or he might be extra gentle in bed, but he wouldn't mention it. Unspoken, unlabeled, undefined, that was what he had with His Jack.
New Jack offered him so much more, and yet…
He couldn't abandon His Jack. He couldn't abandon his chance for happiness with him. He loved His Jack, goddammit! He didn't care that they never talked about what they were doing.
Well, he didn't care until he met a Jack that wanted to have the conversations, that was emotionally both more open and more needy, yet strangely closed off and distant. Still traumatized by what happened with the Doctor, denied the solace of someone to talk to, if vaguely, as His Jack had talked to him, and denied the fragile friendship His Jack had with his Doctor because this New Doctor wasn't as forgiving as His Jack's Doctor.
And now…
Now he was being asked to choose!
Well, he felt like was being asked to choose, at least by himself… How could he love both of them? Be with both of them? Be committed to both of them?
His Jack, his stubborn, inappropriate, sexy, wonderful Jack, who didn't know and couldn't admit that he loved Ianto, but did, fiercely, nonethesame… versus New Jack, also stubborn and inappropriate, and sexy, but loving, and able to talk about feelings, even if he couldn't choose between him and Gwen, a choice His Jack made long ago…
But New Jack was broken in a way His Jack was whole, in a way he'd helped His Jack heal. Could he heal another Jack? Was he strong enough to last through the nightmares and misplaced anger and the fear Jack never admitted to feeling, even though it was so thick in the room that they could both taste it?
How could he possibly choose? How could he abandon one for the other? They both needed him, damn it!
They both needed him…
"Hey, hey, it's OK," New Jack murmured, wrapping his arms around Ianto. "It's going to be OK."
Ianto clung to him and sobbed, aware of the irony that their roles had been reversed the night before and not caring because he was far too overwhelmed.
"We'll get you home. I promise you. OK? I'll get you home."
"God, Jack, I hate this!" Ianto shouted through his tears. "I can't do this!"
"Yes, you can, darling," New Jack whispered, smoothing his hair and kissing his cheek and temple and forehead. "You're doing great. You hear me? You're doing great, and it'll work out in the end, OK?"
"You're not him," Ianto snarled, struggling against New Jack's hold. "You're not him! Get off me. Let me go."
"No, no, you don't want that," New Jack said, holding Ianto tighter. "Just let it out. Let it out, and we'll go to bed, and we'll be able to look at it all with fresh eyes in the morning, OK?" He gave Ianto a small shake. "OK?"
Ianto sniffled. "I guess."
"Good, now come to bed. I'll get a flannel to wash your face."
Ianto rubbed at his swollen eyes and followed New Jack down the ladder. He washed his face and got undressed to just his boxers and t-shirt and lay down with New Jack spooning him. He squeezed his eyes closed, hoping to hold off the tears, but more fell, wetting the pillow and New Jack's arm.
"Shh, it'll be all right, darling," New Jack said, continuing to caress Ianto softly and gently, and slightly tentatively. "It'll be all right."
With the comforting scent of Jack's pheromones in his nostrils, and the low murmur of Jack's voice in his ears, and the strength of Jack's arms holding him in the dark, Ianto managed to pretend he was home so he could find sleep again.