3rd September, 1900

Robert,

I have been ill, that's true, but it's really nothing to trouble you with. Dr. Clarkson said it's a cold I've likely contracted due to being overtired. I don't want you worrying.

I'm so glad you were able to come home for Sybil's birthday, still such a lovely surprise even months later, she hasn't stopped talking about it since you left.

Everything is the same around here. The new nanny has settled into a nice routine with the girls. Our governess wants to start including Sybil in some lessons soon. She's told me that Mary and Edith are almost ahead of where they should be for their age; which is lovely to hear. I've been worried about Edith, but it seems she's keeping up with Mary. Carson and Mrs. Hughes still have command of the house. They are ever so patient with me and I have the utmost respect for them both. Rosamund comes around often, saving me from the chaos here which I know is nothing compared to the chaos you are facing everyday. I hope you know how proud we all are of you; how proud I am.

Cora paused, getting lost in her thoughts, when she heard laughter outside. She looked out the window and caught sight of her daughters running across the lawn. She searched for Nanny, but when she didn't see the short, stout woman chasing after them, her heartbeat quickened. She stood from her desk, leaving her letter unfinished, and rushed out of the library and into the main hall. She stepped out into the foyer and watched as a footman all but wrestled Pharaoh on the ground. The girls had reached them and were in fits of giggles as they watched the scene. Carson stood by, barking at the young footman to, 'quickly leash the unruly beast.'

She shook her head, Carson was not exactly fond of his Lordship's dog. She reached for a shawl that she had left forgotten on a table beside the door; surprised one of the maids hadn't picked it up. However, she was quickly thankful as she draped it around her shoulders and stepped outside.

She saw Nanny at last and sighed in relief. The poor woman sat in a chair, out of breath and fanning herself, but stood abruptly when she saw the lady of the house.

"Whatever is going on here?" Cora said as her daughters whipped their tiny heads around, their eyes going wide in surprise.

"Mama," Sybil cried rushing to a give her mother a hug, but not before Nanny reprimanded her.

"Lady Sybil, be careful with your Mama. She's been unwell."

Cora rolled her eyes. Did the whole house know? Perhaps her new lady's maid was one for spreading gossip. "It's all right, Sybil. Come here."

Sybil leapt up into her mother's open arms and kissed her cheek, "I've missed you."

Cora chuckled, nestling her nose in her hair, "I've missed you too."

"We should go inside. It's time for Lady Mary and Lady Edith's next lesson." Nanny brushed off her dress as she reached for their hands. Mary yanked hers away and passed her Mama, quickly rushing inside.

Mary had been in quite a mood since Robert left. Cora had tried desperately to talk to the girl, but after the third time the nursery door slammed in her face that week, she gave up. She wondered if even Carson had been able to talk to her. She made a mental note to ask him.

Edith walked to her mother, hastily giving her a hug, before following Nanny and Mary into the house and up the stairs.

"What's gotten into their knickers?" Sybil asked receiving a loud laugh from her mother and the footman. The poor footman, who'd finally been able to leash Pharaoh, had stopped on his way to the back of the house when he heard the little lady.

"I can't say, my darling." Cora said still holding Sybil in her arms as she walked into the house followed by Carson.

The butler cleared his throat, "What are we to do with Lady Sybil, Milady?"

Cora turned to him abruptly, "Oh, I'd like her to sit with me in the library for a while yet. I was just writing a letter to his Lordship. She can help me finish it."

Carson pursed his lips wondering if the dowager would approve, "Very well." He turned to leave, looking over his shoulder once more, before heading for the door that led to the servant's hall.

Cora shook her head and walked into the library, settling Sybil carefully down on the red settee, and returned to her desk. "Now can you sit there quietly, while I finish this letter for your Papa?" She looked over her shoulder at her youngest daughter.

"Mhm," Sybil said nodding. Her eyes widened, "Oh, can I write to him?" She clasped her hands under her chin and waited for her mother's reply. Sybil was five and had barely started working on her penmanship, but could sign her name rather well.

Cora chuckled, "Let me finish writing this last bit, and then I'll help you with what you want to say to Papa."

"Will Mary and Edith get to write something too?"

Her mother shook her head, "No, I would like this in the post before tea time and since they won't be down until then, they will not. So you'll have to keep this a secret between us."

Sybil nodded and put a finger to her mouth indicating that she would keep quiet.

Cora turned around in her chair, returning to her letter, and re-reading the last thing she had written before continuing. The two of them had hardly any time to themselves while he had been home for a few days and she was constantly battling the girls for his attention. She couldn't wait until the war was over so they could have him home for good and so that she could have him all to herself again. She wondered if she should bring up the subject of an heir again, but thought better of it. They had spoken about it briefly and had quarreled. They were both conflicted to say the least. She decided it would be better to keep the letter short.

Sybil has asked if she could write to you so I've included her words with mine.

She called her daughter over to her. Sybil stood by the desk, her hands crossed behind her back, rocking back and forth on her heels, as she dictated her words to her mother.

Hello Papa, Mama is letting me write to you, but not Mary and Edith because they're upstairs having lessons and she said this was our secret. I like sharing secrets with Mama. She is much better at keeping them than Edith. Mama says that you have gotten my picture I drew for you. I'm glad you like it. I worked very hard on it and Nanny didn't even have to help me. I can sign my own name!

Mama says it's almost time for my nap but Papa why do I keep having naps when I am five now? I am almost as grown up as Mary. Mama says it's because all proper ladies take naps, even she still does. Did you know that Papa? I love you so very much and miss you. I'll kiss Pharaoh for since I know Mama won't. Love Sybil.

Cora chuckled at the last sentence, now holding Sybil in her lap, and watched as she shakily signed her name. When her daughter was done, she hopped down, and returned to the settee, talking to herself animatedly.

I love you too, Darling.

Always and more,

Cora

"Mama," Edith shrieked as she ran into the library, followed by Nanny and her two sisters, "you let Sybil write to Papa, but not us? That's not fair."

Cora looked at Sybil and shook her head, turning to face Edith who stared up at her, eager for an answer. "I'm sorry, but you were having your lesson. You can send him a letter tomorrow."

Somewhat satisfied with this answer, Edith placed the game she carried with her on the ottoman in front of her mother, and instructed Sybil to sit across from her. Mary sat on the floor in front of the fire, cross-legged, and opened the book in her hand.

Cora watched her for a moment, sipping her tea, and wondered how her eldest daughter had grown up so quickly. "What are you reading, Mary?"

Mary's eyes swiftly shot up from the page, "Little Women." She hesitated, looking down and fiddling with the corner of a page, before she continued, "I know it's a favorite of yours." She glanced at her mother again quickly before returning to the page she was reading.

Her breath hitched, "It is." She swallowed, "I hope you love it as much as I do."

It was rare that Mary wanted to feel connected to her mother in any way other than sharing some of the same features. She watched her daughter again, her eyes quickly scanning the page, flipping it and then getting lost in the next. It was much the same experiment Cora had the first time she'd read it. How she had longed for sisters. Sisters just like the March girls. Unfortunately, she had Harold. But when she'd had Mary, and soon thereafter Edith, she had hoped they would be as close as the sisters in the book. For a few years, it seemed that way. Then Sybil came along. Her dreams of having her very own March family were coming true. But she had been wrong. Mary adored Sybil and Edith immediately felt what it was like the be in the middle. Cora - and Robert to his credit – had tried to make things right between the three of them, but Mary was always taking Sybil and excluding Edith from everything. Overtime, the little blonde learned to get along fine on her own. Still, in the back of her mind, Cora wished things were better between her eldest daughters. Since May, they had been relatively civil towards each other, but Cora was waiting for the pin to drop. She was glad when they remained on their best behavior while Robert was home, and now – neither of her them were speaking to her so she hoped they were at least speaking to each other.

She watched her two youngest daughters and laughed as Sybil decided to play the game by her own rules. Edith sat dumbfounded for a moment before she huffed and rose from the floor, joining her mother on the settee. Cora patted her knee, "She'll learn soon enough." Soon tea was over, and she longed for the day when her girls would be able to sit at the dinner table with her.

Dinner had been a horrid affair. Rosamund had suggested inviting a few of her friends along, hoping to give their dinner a change of atmosphere. Cora wasn't in the mood to entertain exactly, but she needed something to distract her mind from Robert, even if only for a few hours.

Rosamund's friends were obnoxious, loud, and both drunk within minutes of entering the drawing room. Once they were seated, Cora tired her best to play hostess, smiling at them and occasionally joining in the conversation; often having to bite back snarky remarks that she would likely regret in the morning. Her sister-in-law would often shoot her an apologetic look, and cringed when one of them said something rather inappropriate for a dinner conversation. As they took their leave, Rosamund hugged her, apologizing profusely in her ear and promised to call on her tomorrow.

Now, she sat up in bed, her maid having just left, and tried to ignore the pounding in her head. She opened her book, quickly getting lost in the words, when she heard a knock on the door. Thinking her had maid had forgotten something, she said, "Come in," without looking up.

When she didn't hear her maid, her head snapped up and her brow furrowed as she saw Mary standing in the doorway. After gathering up the courage, the girl looked up at her mother, "I-I was wondering if we could read this together." She held up the book.

Cora nodded happily, "Yes of course, Darling." She closed her book, placing it on her nightstand, and threw back the covers on Robert's side of the bed. She turned, fluffing her pillow as Mary crawled up next to her. She waited a moment, as her daughter settled in, and watched as she turned to her place in the book. "What part are you on?"

"Jo and Meg have returned from the play they went to with Laurie." Mary handed the book to her mother, and to Cora's surprise, cuddled up against her side.

She cleared her throat, and placed one arm around her daughter, holding the book in her other hand. "Oh, you're getting to the good part."

Mary snuggled further into her mother's side as she listened to her reveal that Amy had stolen Jo's manuscript and burned it in the fire.

"You wicked, wicked girl! I never can write it again, and I'll never forgive you as long as I live." Mary's eyes grew wide. It was rare that her mother raised her voice and when she did, it frightened her. "Meg flew to rescue Amy, and Beth to pacify Jo," Cora continued, "but Jo was quite beside herself, and with a parting box on her sister's ear, she rushed out of the room up to the old sofa in the garret, and finished her fight alone."

"How awful," Mary started, "I can't imagine ever doing such a thing. Not to my sister." She sat up and turned her head to look at her mother. "I know Edith and I don't always get along, but I would never do something like that on purpose.

"I'm glad to hear you say that," Cora smiled at her.

Mary returned her smile. "Are you feeling better," she said after a moment and leaned back against her mother again.

She cocked her head to the side, "What?"

"Only, Nanny said this afternoon that you had been unwell, and –," she looked at her hands in her lap, playing with a loose string on the bed's duvet, "I promised in my last letter to Papa that I would look after you."

She found herself swallowing a lump in her throat, and marveling at the rare moment her daughter chose to be affectionate towards her. "I am, thank you." She squeezed her close to her side. So maybe it was Mary who had been worrying Robert about her health and not Rosamund like she had thought.

"I'm glad," Mary yawned, "can we read more tomorrow, Mama? I'm tired."

Cora nodded, "Yes, dear." She closed the book and set it on her nightstand next to hers. She patted Mary's thigh, "It's time to go back to your room."

"Do I have to? I know Edith and Sybil have slept in here a few times," she snuggled further into the bed.

Her mother sighed, "All right, but just this once." She blew out the candle, and lay down, fluffing her pillow once more, before turning on her side facing away from her daughter.

"Mama," she heard Mary whisper, "Can you hold me? It's quite cold in here." Cora smiled and hummed her response; just on the edge of sleep. She hadn't realized how tired she was herself. She turned over, moving closer to her daughter, and rested one arm across her middle. She kissed the top of her head, "Goodnight, my darling."

She lifted her head slightly, waiting for Mary's reply, but was met with soft snores instead. She smiled again and whispered, 'I love you,' before succumbing herself to sleep.

Cora walked down the hall towards the stairs when she heard a bang against the nursery door. She turned, retracing her previous steps, and slowly opened the door. She peeked inside, finding Mary sitting on her bed, knees pulled up to her chest, with her head down. She was crying.

Cora picked up the book from the floor and tentatively approached her. She sat on the bed, brushing a strand of hair out of her eyes, and gave Mary a moment to calm herself. Over the last few weeks, Mary would sneak into her room at night and they would read together. It had been so long she had read the book herself that it delighted her to be sharing it with her eldest daughter.

"Why didn't you tell me," Mary whispered as she raised her head, a small sob following.

She grimaced, "I'm sorry, my darling." She knew the exact part of the story her daughter had read. She had been debating with herself for a week about whether or not to tell her. They had never talked about death before. Robert's father had died a few months prior to Mary's birth and thankfully, Cora's father was still alive. But, she knew they would have to have this conversation at some point. She swallowed as she mentally prepared herself.

Mary sniffled, "I was worried when she had gotten sick, but I was hoping…," she trailed off, unable to finish her sentence.

Cora nodded, "I understand. I felt the same way."

"She was my favorite," Mary said wiping her eyes.

"Jo was mine. That's why your middle name is Josephine," she pulled her daughter into her side, an arm around her shoulder, and squeezed her close.

"She reminds me of Sybil in a way."

"Jo?"

"No, Beth." They remained silent a moment. "Have you ever known anyone who has died?" She turned to her mother.

She nodded, "Your grandfather. He died before I had you. It was hard for me -he was always so kind -but it was very hard for your father."

Mary looked down, "Papa could die."

Cora bit her lip in an effort to keep tears from forming in her eyes. She cleared her throat, "He could."

"I don't want him to." Mary buried her face in her mother's side.

"I don't either, and he's trying very hard not to, but we have to accept that it could happen. As much as we don't want it to." She ran a hand slowly up and down Mary's arm.

She felt her daughter nod, "What would happen to us if -if he does?"

"I don't know exactly," she shrugged, "but we would go on living because that's what he would want us to do." They were silent again. Cora hadn't given much thought to the possibility that he could die; rather she had pushed it to the back of her mind. But every so often it would find it's way to the front of her mind and she would feel nauseous.

"I've had nightmares about it," Mary said quietly, "That's why I spend so much time with Carson. He distracts me from thinking about it too much."

Cora smiled, she was glad to know her daughter had such a close relationship to their butler, no matter how inappropriate it was. "I wish you had spoken to be about this sooner. I hate to think this has been weighing on you so heavily."

Mary shook her head, "I didn't want to give you anything else to worry about. Or have you get sick again."

She sighed, "That's because I was overworking myself. I've taken a step back since then. You needn't worry." She kissed her cheek, "It's almost time for luncheon. I've asked Nanny if you could join me. Would you like that?"

Her daughter nodded excitedly, "Very much so."

Cora stood, stretching a bit, and held out her hand to her daughter, "Let's go down. We can tell Carson we'd like a picnic outside."

Mary took her hand and followed her out of the room, "Maybe we can finish the book tonight?"

She smiled, "I'd like that."

A/N: First of all, I'd like to say thank you to those of you who reviewed, favorited, and followed this story. It means a lot to me. I wanted to post this sooner, but I got stuck and then ended up rewriting most of this. The last bit was originally the beginning of chapter three, but I decided to post it with this one. And now I don't know when I'll be able to post the next. I'm not sure how many chapters this will have, but I'll tie this up without abandoning it. The editing is only mine so please excuse any mistakes.