"Bianshay by Request"
Someone asked what the time frame is. It's December 2011. Season two B wrapped and will be airing in a few weeks…
Rated M for Mature Content.
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I love you. I just don't know if I can be with you anymore.
Shay.
I fall back onto the bed with tears falling from the corners of my eyes. I had no idea. I didn't know. Oh baby, I really didn't know…
Chapter 20: Two Christmas Eves, Two Countries, Together?
Vancouver…
Shay POV
"Shannon, are you really going to spend the rest of your holiday sulking? Your Grandmother is so excited to see you and your head is elsewhere. For two days you've been miserable. It's Bianca isn't it?" she sits down next to me on the couch.
"Mom, we had a fight and we didn't resolve it before I left," I say worried about what will happen to us.
"Did you call her?" she asks like that's the first thing she would do.
"No. I was too mad and now I'm not sure if she'll even talk to me," I turn to look at her but end up looking at my fidgeting hands instead.
"You won't know unless you call," says the voice of reason.
"I, I can't. And anyway I let this thing between the two of us affect my visit with Nana. I've been an awful granddaughter for the past couple of days and I'm making up for it this afternoon. I'm taking Nana out for an early dinner like we used to do when I was a kid," I brave a smile.
"She'll like that," she rubs my back trying to make it better like moms always try to do. "So will you be going up to Grouse Mountain at all?" She had to ask.
"I don't know." I really don't.
"You have a beautiful room with an incredible view maybe going up there after dinner will do you some good. You'll have a nice quiet space so you can think about what you want to do about all this," she suggests and I have to admit I'm leaning towards it.
"Yeah. I was supposed to wake up with Bianca on Christmas day. I wanted that so much for us. I wanted to start our own tradition but all I ended up doing was being really selfish," I confess.
"Shannon, you'll figure it out. I have faith in you. Come here," she pulls me in for a hug, "I love you and I have faith that you'll know what to do when the time comes."
"I love you too mom and thanks. Talking to you really helped and it means a lot," I hug her back with a daughter's love.
"Have a nice time at dinner and we'll talk tomorrow," she gets up from the couch reaching for my hand to help me up.
"Thanks, I'll come by early so I can help with everything," I say as I put on my coat readying myself for the cold.
"Thanks honey, you're a good girl and I know whatever you need to do will come to you, okay?"
"Okay, mom."
We hug and kiss each other on the cheek before I walk out the door, not knowing how any of this will pan out…
California…
Bianca POV
"Mom, I don't know what happened. We were together. We were happy and now she's gone."
Pause.
"She went to Vancouver without me," I tell her with sadness in my voice.
Pause.
"I know. But I wanted this Christmas to be an incredible memory for both of us too."
Pause.
"I was supposed to help out at the mission like we do every year and then go to Vancouver after Christmas but she wants us to start our own tradition on Christmas Eve."
Pause.
"Yeah, it does sound nice. And I do want to have our own traditions but I'm not going to abandon my commitment, that's just not me and you know that."
Pause.
"I'll figure something out I just don't know what at the moment."
Pause.
"Yes, I'll be there at eight o'clock tomorrow morning and maybe by then I'll know what I need to do."
Pause.
"Okay. I'll see ya there. Bye mom, I love you."
Vancouver…
Shay POV
Dinner with my grandmother was fantastic because for the entire time I was able to put everything with Bianca aside. She told stories about when we were young and of course about how much she misses me. She made me laugh so much. I needed that. We also exchanged gifts because she's going to spend Christmas Eve with my dad's sister in Southern Vancouver. That's why I wanted Bianca here but now she's not going to meet her and I know my grandmother would have welcomed her into the family and I also know for a fact how much she would have adored her…
So, after dinner I decide to go back up to Grouse Mountain instead of staying with my parents. I walk into our suite hoping that maybe Bianca changed her mind and she's waiting for me. I call for her. I take off my boots leaving them in the entryway and hang up my coat in the hall closet. I call again but there's no answer. I check the bedroom. But no, she isn't here. I throw my bag on the lounge chair next to the bed and start thinking about where we went wrong…
My thoughts travel with me to the beautiful stone fireplace in the cozy sitting area. Although it uses gas heat, when it's turned on it looks like flames igniting wood giving it an authentic fireplace feel. While the room begins to warm up, I go back into the bedroom to put on my pajamas, not the sexy ones I was hoping to wear for Bianca. No, these are my pink, black and white plaid flannel drawstring ones with my short sleeve v-neck white tee shirt that says, "I PERVE BIANCA" in black letters sent to me by our fans. I love this shirt and I love wearing it for Bianca but I guess I'm just wearing it for me tonight. And of course socks because it's so damn cold up here!
There's a chocolate colored throw at the end of the bed that I wrap around me as I walk back into the room with the fireplace. I can't help but take in a breath and let out my disappointment that Bianca isn't here to share such a romantic getaway with me. There's a beige circular rug with a dark brown and green pattern in it matching the sage green couch set in the middle of the room. There are two brown leather chairs with a round wooden end table supporting a lamp on one side of it and two wood framed cushioned chairs with the same style end table and lamp on the other. It's set up in a horseshoe shape leaving most of the carpet open for a passionate tryst between two people in love. I guess a tryst is out of the question. The couch is made of a suede type of material with light rust, medium green and mocha colored throw pillows. I position the pillows to one side of the couch and lie down on my side propping myself up just a bit with the throw wrapped around me. The only sounds I hear are the crackling of the fire with its strong orange flames drawing my gaze, putting me under its spell…
It's not long before my eyes close and my mind drifts off…
I'm lying here waiting for you like a flower waiting to bloom, like a lightbulb in a dark room. I'm lying here waiting, waiting for you to come home and turn me on. My poor heart, it's been so dark since you've been gone. You're the one who turns me off and you're the only one who can turn me back on. Like the desert waiting for the rain and a school kid waiting for the summer, I'm just lying here waiting for you to come home and turn me on. My soul is waiting for a new tune and my glass is waiting for a fine wine and here I am lying here waiting for you to come home and turn me on…
The thoughts of Bianca not being here with me are overwhelming me making me shiver in this warm romantic setting, making me tear up from my need to have her all to myself, that's all I ever wanted, to have her all to myself. But instead, I'm lying here alone wishing and waiting for her to come home…
I think about our fight. I think about her unselfish heart. I think about my self-centeredness. I think about how I could be in bed with her right now in my house, our house. I think about how I could be waking up on Christmas Eve morning in her arms. I think about how I could be by her side at the mission helping to serve those who need a warm meal and a warm smile. I think about how we could fly to Vancouver together to spend Christmas Eve night with my family. I think about how we could drive up to Grouse Mountain to share a very romantic evening just like this but not alone. I think about how I could wake up in her arms on Christmas morning telling her I love her and that the only gift I want is her…
And then the fireplace makes a loud sound like the snap of a whip startling me out of my light slumber jostling me into an upright position, my heart pounding. I shake my head out of its mesmerized state and…
I know what I need to do…
California…
Bianca POV
I lie awake thinking about what happened with Shay. I had no idea this meant so much to her probably because I never asked, I just assumed. And here we are; me in one country and she in another. I never dreamed I would be spending Christmas without her. Tomorrow is Christmas Eve and I won't get the chance to be with her and love her and give her my heart. I turn towards the night table reaching into the drawer next to me and I pull out the present I got for her. I open the small navy blue velvet box and stare at the diamond ring I was hoping to give to her on our very first Christmas together. It's a two and a half carat round diamond set on a gold band. It's not flashy because that's not who we are. It's the perfect fit like Shay is to me. I close the box holding it tightly in my hand. I can't back out of my commitment to the mission but I also can't back out on my commitment to Shay. I think and I think and I think of how I can make this work but nothing is coming to me. She won't answer her phone and honestly I'm not sure I would know what to say if she did. So I lie there alone opening and closing the ring box, opening and closing the ring box, opening and closing the ring box until with the last snap of velvet,
I know what I need to do…
Vancouver….
Shay POV
I call my mom first thing in the morning and explain that I won't be able to help her because I'm flying back to Los Angeles to be with Bianca helping her at the mission and then I'm bringing her home. She's so happy for me telling me that she knew I would know what to do and she's all for it. My flight leaves at ten o'clock so I hop in the shower, get dressed and head down the mountain in the courtesy shuttle. As it approaches the main shopping district, I spy something out of the corner of my eye. I pull the cord signaling the shuttle to stop and rush towards what distracted me. My eyes are wide with happiness and love, smiling from ear to ear, as I walk toward the window display. I already got Bianca something for Christmas but this this is what I should have gotten her in the first place…
Los Angeles…
Bianca POV
I'm shuffling my feet at the mission dressed in black from head to toe. I'm even wearing a black knit cap trying to hide from the reporters doing a story on those benefiting from the volunteer efforts. I don't want this to be about me and why Shay isn't here too and it shouldn't be…
I keep doing what I can to help when my mom comes up to me nudging me from behind and when she does I drop what I'm holding in my hand. She bends down to pick it up,
"Bianca! This is beautiful. Are you…"
"Mom, shhh. I was. But I'm not so sure anymore," I say taking the ring from her hand. I took it out of the box because I needed to feel every cut, every cut reminding me of why I love her so much.
"Honey it's obvious how much you care about her."
"Is it?"
"Yes it is, and that's why you need to go to her."
"What about my commitment to the mission?"
"We've been here for hours helping to set up and there are more than enough volunteers to cover."
"I don't know."
"Yes, you do know. Now go to her and tell her how much you love her and how miserable you are without her."
"Mom…"
"Are you about to disobey your mom? I'd think twice about that!"
"Mom, last night I reserved a ticket to Vancouver. It leaves at one-thirty this afternoon but I'm not sure I should be on that plane."
"What! Yes you should! You love her and she loves you! Now go!" I've never seen her so adamant before.
"Yeah?"
"Bianca! Go!"
"I love you mom so much," I hug her and kiss her over and over on her cheek.
She taps my bottom and pushes me away, "Go. And Merry Christmas!"
"Merry Christmas to you too mom, I love you!" I yell as I weave through the lines of people clutching the ring against my heart.
The taxi rushes back to the house so I can grab my already packed bag and black pea coat to wear when I get there. I'm set with my shoes since I have on knee high boots and my gloves and scarf are in my carry on as well as my passport and e-ticket. The same taxi takes me to the airport arriving a little early so I can check in and think about what I'm going to say to Shay when I see her…
There are several planes landing and taking off for the entire hour I'm waiting, until finally I hear the announcement that boarding to Vancouver will now commence. I get my things together standing in line distracted by the passengers entering the terminal from the tunnel. One after the other they drag their carry-ons or sling their bags over their shoulders ignoring everyone around them just wanting to be home. I smile because I know the feeling. And just as I'm about to board my flight, I catch a glimpse of a strikingly beautiful woman, a very familiar beautiful woman…
"What is she doing here?" I tilt my head. "The same thing I'm doing here?" My eyes light up. My mouth forms into the brightest smile you could possibly imagine. I follow behind her trying not to lose her as I have to put my things through security and she only has her purse. I keep checking to make sure I don't lose sight of her. I grab my things running through the terminal towards the arrival pick up area. I scan around and there she is just a few feet away about to get into a black SUV with tinted windows. I quicken my pace dragging my carry-on behind me with one hand and clutching onto my pea coat with the other until I'm finally close enough to say,
"Hey Beautiful…"
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To Be Continued…
With a little assist from "Turn Me On" by Norah Jones…