AN: I am so sorry for the delay in updating but my computer was broken! I hope that people are still interested in this story and enjoy this update! Please review!

Not ready!

The following morning Spencer was exhausted, having once again spent the night tossing and turning in a fitful sleep, tormented by nightmares and flashbacks of Ian's attack. Her body hurt more than ever, the all too familiar ache between her legs, not letting her forget what had happened for even a second. She was nauseous from lack of food and exhaustion but as she dragged her body downstairs she refused to give in to the voice in her head, telling her not to go to school. She had to go, she had to prove to everybody, including herself that she was strong enough, that she was ready to get back to normal.

As she sat down on a stool at the kitchen island her mother looked up from her paperwork giving her an awkward smile, before gently reaching for Spencer's hand and whispering,

"Sweetheart are you sure you're ready to go back to school? Nobody would blame you if you took another few days off."

"I going mom, I'll be fine", Spencer snapped, angrier at the situation than at her mother.

Trying to hide her hurt at her daughter's humour, Veronica Hastings quietly resumed reading over her paperwork. Spencer felt guilty for snapping at her mom and decided to offer her an olive branch,

"Mom, can you give a lift to school I don't feel up to driving" she asked politely.

Veronica looked up surprised at her daughter's change of attitude but nodded encouragingly

"Of course I'll take you honey just have some breakfast first okay?",

Spencer winced at the mention of food, her stomach turning, even though she hadn't really eaten in two days. The worried look on her mother's face stopped her from protesting however, and she accepted Veronica's offer of French toast. The first bite barely made it down and she desperately tried to think of an excuse as to not eating the rest. Looking at the clock and seeing her opportunity, she pleaded with her hovering mother,

"It's already eight mom and if we have to talk to the principal before class than I need to leave now, I don't want to be late on top of everything else", she persuaded.

Looking at her daughter's pleading face Veronica couldn't refuse the fragile girl and gave in, making her promise to eat something substantial at lunch. The five minute car ride was filled with silence and worrying glances between Veronica and Spencer and as they pulled into the near empty parking lot Spencer was filled with dread about being around other people. She cautiously followed her mom to the principal's office and sat down in the oversized chairs waiting for his arrival.

The tall, professional looking man, Principal Harding, stepped into the office greeting them politely. Spencer tried to hide her anxiety at being in the same room as this man, willing her hand to stop shaking as she reached out to return the offered handshake. If he noticed her edginess he didn't show it and Spencer tried to relax as he and her mom began speaking. He reassured her mom that she would be looked after and Spencer hated that they were prepared to make allowances for her. She tuned out from the conversation as she noticed students beginning to line the halls and was own brought back to reality when her mom stood ready to leave the office. She too rose from her chair, grabbing her bag off the floor before making to leave. Her mom stopped her however, saying that she wasn't leaving until Spencer found her friends. Spencer felt the anger build up inside her again, she didn't want to be treated like a five year old on her first day of school. She couldn't find the energy to argue with her mother and so instead, she reluctantly followed her down the crowded corridor. She was met with curious stares from her classmates but kept her head down ignoring everyone until she heard the unmistakable voice of Aria saying, "Hi Spence" followed by similar greetings from Hanna and Emily. She met their gaze and moved towards them, smiling slightly as her mother made to leave. They embraced her awkwardly, careful as not to hurt or panic her and she felt ok for the first time that morning.

They all moved towards English, the only class they all shared and Spencer was calmed by the familiar face of Ella Montgomery as she began to take notes on the latest novel. The rest of the morning went relatively well and Spencer was beginning to feel like herself again. However, having just finished closing her locker before lunch, Spencer was terrified to find herself being pushed against the metal storage units, a large body pinning her from behind. She screamed and began to shake, not noticing as the offender, a footballer who had jumped to catch a ball, moved off of her and away not wanting to upset her further. She slid down the locker, sitting against it as she rocked back and forth, shaking and crying, struggling to breathe.

Having noticed the commotion from down the corridor, her friends rushed to her side, terrified at the fragile state of their friend and feeling guilty for leaving her on her own. Hanna and Emily carefully lifted her off the ground as Aria guided them into her mom's classroom, Ella looking up from her lunch in surprise as the trio settled a hyperventilating Spencer into a seat. She rushed towards them, heartbroken for the girl that was one of her daughter's best friends.

"Spencer honey, its Ella I need you take a deep breath for me ok, in and out", she coached the trembling teenager.

"I ca-cant", Spencer whispered he pale face filled with terror.

"You can sweetheart please, it's ok, it's just us here, no one's going to hurt you" she persuaded.

At the kind reassurances of her safety, Spencer relaxed somewhat and began to breath normally again. The reality of what had happened hit her and she blushed apologising to Ella profusely. The older woman kindly encouraged Spencer to allow her to ring her mother and Spencer had little energy or desire to protest. She felt weak and stupid but desperately wanted to go home and when her panic stricken mother entered the room five minutes later she burst into tears, exhaustion, pain and humiliation overwhelming her. She quickly said goodbye to the girls, promising to call them later, before allowing her mom to guide her to the car and take her home.

Once there, she relaxed somewhat in the safety of her bedroom, crying in her mom's arms as she admitted the truth,

"You were right mom, I wasn't ready."