CHAPTER 30: Trickedout

"Elyssia, follow me." Ash barked, snapping me out of my dreamless sleep.

Without a sound, I rubbed my eyes, and followed him to Zomboss' office, which was eerily lit by floodlights. Ash then knocked on the door, the raps resounding through the wide hallway.

"Boss? It's me, Ash."

The wind was almost knocked right out of me when Zomboss quickly let the door fly right open.

"Well, make this quick." he snapped.

"What are you two lovebirds doing at my doorstep at this hour?"

I clenched my teeth at the way Zomboss said "lovebirds." The simpering voice made chills run through my body, and it made me want to tear his heart right out.

If he had one, that is.

Ash, meanwhile, had a huge smile on his face.

"Elyssia here says she wants to . . . rehash the little civil war that the zombies and the plants had because apparently our side, uh . . . cheated."

He then grabbed me, and glared daggers into my eyes.

"A deal is a deal, dumbo. If you don't know that, well, boo hoodlum!" Ash growled, tightening his grip on my throat.

"Does it look like I care?" I gasped as my breaths came out shorter and shorter.

"Well, it's playtime, and you're ―"

Before Ash could finish his sentence, a mysterious wave had washed over me. I could feel the temperature in the room decrease, and I could feel my pupils growing smaller and smaller until they were the size of tiny buttons. Ash looked shocked, and he almost released me.

"Elyssia . . . what's happening to you?" he asked.

Zomboss, who apparently could feel the odd chill, screamed right out loud for the whole world to hear and held his head in his hands as if he was being ruthlessly tortured some way or another. I didn't answer; all I did was pile on as much hatred and odium as I could. My heart was racing, and I could have sworn that I saw a frost appear on the window panes. Ash finally released me, leaving me to hit the floor with a thud. I finally came back to a normal state, and looked up at Ash, who was panting hard. Finally, he managed to say, "FINE! We'll see how this try goes."

I smirked evilly and stood up.

"And we'll see who's high and mighty now, shall we?"

And with that, I was out of that dirty, grimy office.

I found myself and my team somewhere in a preparation room. Roosevelta looked as if she wanted to kill me, and everyone ― even Mareya, Temi, Martin and Peater ― was giving me the evil eye, with the occasional "What the bloody hell did you get us into?"

I finally answered that question.

"We're giving this thing a second go. I know that somebody cheated, and I know that somebody wanted us to lose. This time, we're . . . prepared for this battle, and at least we'll prove ourselves strong and get outta here."

At first, everyone stared at me as if I was crazy. Then finally, Temi had decided to break the terse silence.

"How do you know that you're gonna make this go well, and not end in burning flames? Can you see the future, like those Siamese twins over there?" he asked, pointing at Albert and Brian.

"H-hey! Just because we're joined at the back doesn't mean you gotta call us Siamese twins! Plus, we're not effing soothsayers! Unlike some!" Brian sputtered.

Albert was quiet, which was unusual, considering the fact that he was the talker, and was normally Brian's voice. All he did was kick around what I thought was an imaginary soccer ball.

"I got a plan." I said simply. Just then, the sounding of an air horn echoed.

"Will the freaky freakazoid weeds please step onto the battlefield. I repeat, will the freaky freakazoid weeds please step into the bullpen."

I glanced backwards. "This'll be great."

Giving each other "yeah, right" looks, my team trudged off after me and into the battlefield. Peater pressed something into my leaf before joining the rest of us.

"This is . . . for you, Elyssia. Just for good luck . . . " he mumbled.

I looked at the item, and I saw that it was a gold pin. Giving it a closer look, I saw that the head of the pin had the Ying-Yang symbol, and a snowflake on a leaf. I turned the pendant over, and saw a words engraved in the gold.

To you, my love, so that our love shall never end.

I saw the initials "EM" and "PH" intertwined with each other. I smiled at Peater. "Thank you . . ." I whispered.

I then turned my attention to the battlefield. It was still the same ― lots of sand, lots of zombies, and a little area for plants.

"Fellow undead, and God knows whats, welcome to the Third World War!" Zomboss yelled through a bullhorn.

Snapping his fingers, he released his first zombies.

"Spread out!" I hissed at my team.

Feeling my heart leap into my throat, I started shooting peas at the unprotected zombies, quickly taking them out.

"GOOD BRAINZ! GET OUT THERE, BUCKETHEADS! AND NOOOO, YOU WON'T GET A CHANCE TO LET YOURSELVES BECOME FAT BECAUSE YOU'RE SO DAMN LAZY!" Zomboss screamed through a bullhorn.

I smiled to myself as the zombies toppled over one another, fighting to be out of their seats and onto the battlefield first. Finally, I heard groaning from above. I saw balloon zombies ― my worst nightmare. Just then, a few spikes were shot at the balloons, causing the zombies to fall out of the air.

"It's showtime." I snickered as I fired a blast of ice at the zombies, killing them in an instant.

Mareya was still using her odd technique of attracting metal articles and turning them into weapons. Roosevelta was still punching the zombies, Albert, Brian and Peater were shooting peas like crazy, while Temi and Martin were chomping on the zombies like there was no tomorrow. As time went on, anybody'd expect us to become tired. But no; we didn't become tired. We only became stronger, and more energetic. As the audience of zombies was reduced to only a handful, Zomboss decided to take more action. Up there, in his high and mighty place of honour, I could see Ash and Mary, yelling derogatory cusses at us.

"You've fought well, little weeds. But now . . . it's time to release the real lions of the den!" Zomboss screamed.

That was being followed by a series of mad cackles as he pressed a button, and opened up the doors of a trailer that I didn't notice. Peater came jogging up to me, and hugged me briefly.

"You did well, Elyssia. And . . . I just wanted to say that I'm sorry . . . for everything that I've done." I smiled, and hugged him back.

"I guess that sometimes . . . we're jerks. Admit it." I whispered as I fingered the silver chain around my neck.

The shaking of the ground caused us to jump apart. I turned around, and saw one of the toughest Gargantuars I had ever seen. What I found as unusual was the fact that the Gargantuar was piggybacking at least ten Imps. But the real surprise came when I realized that these Imps weren't ordinary Imps. They had machine guns, armour, and vampire teeth.

"Lord Jesus spare us . . ." I muttered.

"Yes, ask Him to bless you!" Ash taunted as the Gargantuar came closer and closer.

"Thanks, a lot, big sis." Carol growled as she looked at the big zombies with apprehension.

"We can do this!" I yelled at my team.

I then turned to the Gargantuar. "Yo, you big buffoon! You're ugly and stupid!" I jeered.

That got him mad enough to throw each and every one of the Imps at us.

"Good God, Elyssia!" Peater snarled as he slapped the back of my head.

"You just got yourself a one-way ticket to I-will-kill-you-if-we-survive-this-ish-and-I-won't-regret-it-because-you're-so-damn-stupid-ville!"

I smiled, not unlike the way an insane gremlin would.

"CHOMP DOWN ON THE IMPS, YOUSIF TWINS! THE IMPS!" I yelled at the twin Chompers.

Temi and Martin charged, and gobbled up the Imps. The Gargantuar was coming closer and closer, and I knew it was only a matter of time before it started wielding its deadlier-than-God-himself weapon.

"Focus on evading him, guys. He can't run ― but you can." I whispered.

Nodding, my team split up. I then focused my mind on my crazy plan. I knew my team would think that I needed to be sent to some mental institution . . .

But there was no escaping it.

Taking a deep breath, I leapt onto the telephone pole that the sturdy Gargantuar used as a weapon, arousing a few gasps from the audience ― and not surprisingly, from my team.

"Elyssia, are you freaking crazy?" Peater shouted from below.

I jumped onto the burly arm of the huge zombie, gripping tight enough so that I wouldn't fall off. I glanced back and flashed my sweetest smile.

"Just because my plan is crazy doesn't mean that I need to be sent to that insane asylum down by Queen Street! This is for the greater good, Peater! I fail to see how you fail to see that that's the case!" I yelled.

After what seemed like a million decades, I managed to get into the place where the Imps once were. I climbed onto the head, and started shooting. The Gargantuar screamed and tossed his head, but I held fast, like a cowgirl.

"Prepare to meet Satan . . ." I muttered as I used my free leaf to shoot a blast of ice at the Gargantuar, which literally split its head open.

With a final yell of pain, the Gargantuar started to sway and fall.

"GOD BLESS!" I hooted as I jumped off, landing on the ground with a thud.

I managed to run away just in time as the Gargantuar made contact with the ground, causing it to rumble and shake. The boos of the remaining audience almost overpowered the small hurrah that erupted from the plant section. Crazy Dave was clapping and cheering.

"YOU KILLED IT, GUYS! WAAAHOOO!" he exclaimed.

Zomboss let out an ear-piercing scream that threatened to break the windows of the nearby City Hall.

"Goddammit!" he howled.

"And hey ― shut the hell up, dirty weeds. Yes, that includes you, eccentric douchebag!"

Everyone shut up instantly, and the air only turned from victorious to tense as Zomboss swept into the cockpit.

"You have fought well, little planties." he growled as he eyed me, and grabbed my cheeks.

"Even you, ugly beauty, have proven yourself . . . loveworthy." Zomboss then proceeded to grab a weird gun from his coat pocket.

He pulled the trigger, and five harpoons came out, attached to a weird set of strings. The harpoons found home in the ground, which immediately formed a cage.

How the hell did that happen?

I'd probably never know.

"What the . . ." I muttered.

Then, like a bullet, it hit me.

We were tricked.

"What the bloody hell is this?! You said that if we won, we'd go free!" Temi protested.

Soon, the protests of every plant in the vicinity began to slice the air into slivers.

"SHUT YOUR DING-DANG TRAPS, FOR THE DAMNED LOVE OF GOD! GOOD ALLAH! GOOD JESUS! SPARE ME!" Zomboss screeched, shutting us up instantly.

"Let us go, or I'll see to it personally that all hell breaks loose and swallows you whole!" I screamed as I grabbed the bars of the cage, which I realized was a bad idea, as it gave me a violent electrical shock and sent me to the floor, reeling with pain.

I began to cough up a little blood, which caused Zomboss to cackle like mad.

"Hurrah, hurrah, for I, Dr. Zomboss, shall lock you up! You'll keep on fighting, with breaks every other week to keep you alive. And once you die, I'll probably have the best sleep that I've ever had in twelve years!" he crowed.

Putting on gloves, he tore the bars of the cage apart, and dragged us all into a cell.

"God be on your side . . . if He cares!" Ash chuckled as he practically threw everyone into the wall.

Everyone, that is, but me.

"And that leaves Elyssia Antonia, ruler of none!" Ash laughed as he made a grab for my throat.

"No way, Jose!" I growled as I punched his stomach.

"Whooo-haaa! Elyssia's got gold!" Roosevelta cheered.

Instead of crying out in pain, Ash got up off the floor, cackling like mad.

"You wouldn't hurt your beloved . . . would you?"

I bit my lip, and narrowed my eyes.

"You are anything but my beloved, Ash. I hate you more than anything in the whole world, and I pray every night that God would . . . would be kind enough to give you a real taste of your own medicine!" I screamed.

Ash grabbed my throat, and waited until I was good and weak before saying,

"The day when you learn won't come until you're killed, Elyssia."

With that, I was released, and allowed to drop onto the floor. Ash had a huge smile on his face, happy to see me suffer; in fact, the flame on his head turned a vibrant orange out of sheer happiness. Laughing like an insane banshee, he walked out the door, making sure to lock it behind him. The intense pain caused by the electrical shock came back, and practically blinded me.

Then I passed out.