I'm fairly certain that I wrote these next ten chapters over a million times in the last few weeks. I like where this is going now but believe me there were some frustrating moments lately. Hopefully you all like it. I have another story I suddenly got inspiration for. I'll let you know when I get it posted. Enjoy!
With Gemma on house arrest, I'm stuck juggling everything at TM and the clubhouse. Dad volunteers Chucky for anything I need help with. Mainly the man gives me the creeps, but he's able to keep the invoices straight and my sanity in check.
Dad tosses a stack of envelopes on the desk when he walks in. He also hands me a cup of coffee.
"I'm not sure I've said this enough lately, but I love you daddy." I squeal, gladly accepting the much needed caffeine. My sleeping habits steadily grow worse. Flashes of my family dead or in handcuffs haunt me each time I close my eyes. In the three weeks since the guys have been gone, the nightmares have become more gruesome and terrifying.
"I love you too baby girl. What do you need from me?" He asks.
"Can you go pick up the kids for me and bring them here? Oh and can you get the prospects to clean the dorms? It smells like Tig in the clubhouse." My disgust shows on my face and he laughs.
"I'll get a couple of the crow-eaters to do it. They can take care of laundry too. Not like they have anything better to do with half the available guys behind bars." He says through his laughter. "Opie & Filip around?"
"Um Filip is in the garage, Opie went with Kozik somewhere." I tell him.
Filip stands in the garage a short distance away, his white wife beater clinging to his muscles. He's been the one to keep the guys in the garage in line for me. I'm lost in my thoughts of him and don't hear my father's next question.
"I'll take that as a yes." He sighs.
"What? Sorry dad; just spaced for a moment. What did you say?" I shake my head, trying to rid myself of the fantasies playing out in my mind.
"Are you still avoiding Filip?" He asked; his face etched with concern.
"We've talked. We just talked the other night. You were there." I try to look unaffected.
"Yeah, sure." He pushes himself up from the chair with a groan and hobbles toward the door. "Don't make the mistake of losing him without at least a fight." He calls over his shoulder and I watch him head over to where Filip works on his bike. I smile at my dad's receding back.
Opie and dad had become Filip's biggest supporters, constantly pushing me to talk to him and work things out. Gemma on the other hand had suddenly turned her matchmaker skills to me and Kozik. The last three nights when I went over there to check on her, he was there. She was a horrible liar and I knew she was behind our "coincidental" run-ins.
Kozik is an easy distraction for me. I don't have to feel or think. I can sit next to him and there's no major life questions hanging in the air between us; no life-altering complications. There's also no passion or any kind of attraction; at least not on my end.
I know it's my own stubbornness that is sabotaging any progress with Filip. I'm still scared of what I feel for him. Nothing has faded over the last few months. I'm confused and lost. My avoiding Filip was all about wanting to give us a chance to calm down at first. Now that everything had settled again, I can't figure out why I keep pushing him away but the thought of him getting close again scares me.
As if he can read my mind, he looks over his sunglasses at me with a friendly smile. The smile tugs at me, begging me to run to him. Instead, I blush a vivid shade of red and turn away. He takes that as encouragement, putting his tools down and heading into the office. His broad frame fills the doorway right in front of me.
"Good morning love." He greets me; his voice makes me melt and I turn away before doing something stupid.
"Hi." I manage to get through the flutter in my stomach.
"Anything I can do for you today?" He steps in and closes the door behind him.
"Uh. . . what?" I ask; my mind is a blank. He chuckles at me.
"What are you doing after work?" He asks. "Come over and let me cook for you."
"Sure." I cave, knowing full well there's no resistance left in me. "Let me get Tara to check on Gemma."
"Good." He kisses me lightly on the cheek, leaving me dizzy. I flatten my hand against the desk behind me, making sure I have something to keep me steady. He swings open the door and heads back to work, throwing me another seductive smile over his shoulder.
"AUNTIE BREE!" Kenny's eager voice bounces over the parking lot. I look up from the clipboard I'm holding to see Kenny and Piper running to me. Ellie lags behind, looking bored.
"What's up guys? Grampa got you here safe hu?" I wink at my dad as he ambles to the office.
I take the three of them inside to the clubhouse and find them something to snack on. As I walk out of the kitchen, hands full of cookies Opie walks in with Tara and dad close behind. Their grim faces tell me that whatever they are there to talk about isn't good. As they get closer, I notice Tara's eyes are bloodshot. Filip, Kozik and the prospects file in behind them.
"Ellie, can you take the boys outside to the swing set? Lyla will be here in a minute." Opie ruffles his daughter's hair with a slight smile. The three kids race outside to play.
"What's going on?" I ask, leaning on the bar.
"Just got word from Bobby. Jaxson was stabbed." Opie explains.
I hurry over to Tara and wrap her up in a hug. Fresh tears fall against my shoulder as she shudders and cries. Filip stands behind her, rubbing her back lightly. I look over at my brother.
"You tell Gemma?"
"No, we're on our way there now." He doesn't look excited about the idea.
Fresh hurt and anger build up inside me but I keep hold of Tara, leading her out to get some air. Lyla pulls in and rushes over to sit with the fragile woman. I mouth a silent thanks and head back inside.
"What happened?" I demand, my face apparently reflecting the mood I'm in.
"Russian retaliation for the bait and switch with Jimmy." Opie wrings his hat in his hands. "We're gonna need to go on lockdown. I'll get a constant watch over at Gemma's place. We're gonna head up to Stockton and visit Happy; get more details." He tries to reassure me. My nightmares are replaying in my head; stuck on repeat.
Opie leans over and whispers something to Filip who nods in agreement. Opie, Kozik and dad leave us alone.
"Looks like it's just us love. Yer brother wants us to get this place ready, ya ok with that?" He actually looks nervous which is cute. I can't help but smile.
"Still gonna make me dinner?" I pretend to weigh my options.
"Aye, anything you want baby." He puts his arm around me, leading me back outside.
We stop by my house first. I pack everything needed to stay at the clubhouse for a few nights. He stands near my dresser, watching me push clothes into my bag. I look up and catch him holding a picture frame. My eyes immediately drop back to my bed. The picture is of the two of us, at the clubhouse. I'm sitting on his lap, laughing at something he said. His smile is genuine and pure in the picture. It was taken right before everything happened with Abel, before everything went sour.
I step into my closet, grabbing a few more things before we leave. He waits patiently in the bedroom as I hop out, struggling to slip my shoe on. He laughs and drops down in front of me to help me slide my foot in. His face is inches from my thigh and I put my hand on the top of his head for balance. He looks up at me with a desperate expression. His hand travels up the back of my leg to my thigh and my body instantly reacts to his long-absent touch.
"We should go Filip." I choke out reluctantly. He sighs and stands up in front of me.
"Yeah." He agrees. I put the rest of my clothes in the bag while he stocks the van with supplies for those that will be at the clubhouse. I shove the picture frame from my dresser into the bag before he grabs it from me and holds his hand out for mine. I take it and follow closely behind him out the door. He heads to the passenger side of the van and opens the door for me.
By the time we pull back into the parking lot of TM, the place is a zoo. Crow eaters are everywhere, helping unload supplies from Tara's vehicle and chasing the kids around. Lyla and I get to work, directing traffic and checking the dorm rooms. Luckily the girls had been busy cleaning all day and there was very little to do.
I open the door to Filip's room and notice my bags on his dresser. The smile spreads easily across my face. The door to his bathroom opens and Filip steps out, without a shirt on. When he sees my embarrassment, he laughs a little and leans into the door frame.
"Thought ya would be comfortable in here. I'll take Jaxson's room if ya want." His words don't match the grin on his face.
He doesn't hesitate, moving quickly to meet me at the door. He reaches around my shoulder and shuts the door behind me. His other hand snakes around to the small of my back and all sense and reason disappear.
"I miss ya, baby." He murmurs against my ear. I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him in for a kiss. His mouth crashes against mine and he presses himself against me. Before we can go any further, there's a knock at the door. He groans loudly as he reaches over to open it without letting me go.
"Opie's calling everyone to the table." Phil looks embarrassed at the scene in front of him.
"Give us a minute." Filip tells him and closes the door again. He reaches up and pushes my hair behind my ear. "After I'm done with this, go for a ride with me?"
I just nod in response, trying to calm my racing heart. He leans down and gives me another more gentle kiss. I laugh as he readjusts his hard-on before going out to join the guys in the chapel. I follow close behind, heading to the kitchen to make sure everything is set.
"We got guys from SAMTAC coming in tonight, a couple of Quinn's NOMADs too." Opie gives me the heads up. Tara and I get the crow-eaters started on cleaning up the extra rooms.
"You holding up ok?" I ask her when we're alone in the kitchen.
"Yeah, he came out of surgery ok. They said he's still in critical condition but stable. They just nicked his lung." She shrugs and I can tell she's on the verge of breaking down. Before the tears overflow, she shakes her head and gives me a half-smile. "You and Filip look pretty close."
"Did we?" I ask, not giving away anything.
"You guys need to talk. Tell him you're over this whole 'give me time' bullshit and ask him to stay with you." She slaps my arm.
"He stays with me tonight and it's just gonna be about sex. I can't control myself around him." I sigh.
"Jesus Christ. Since when is getting laid a bad thing?" I laugh at her.
"Doc, you're going through withdrawals aren't you? You need to live vicariously through me?" She can't help but join in laughing, knowing I have a point.
"You're gonna lose him." She said when her giggles died down.
"I hope not but I can't afford to get my heart broken again. I may never recover this time." I tell her honestly.