89. Memory

Reyna wonders sometimes why in her memory it's the worst parts of her life that stand out.

More than any joy or happiness she's felt, she remembers loss. Betrayal, hurt, distrust. It's been so many years she barely remembers what it was like to love and be loved anymore.

She remembers the aching goodbye. The helplessness and despair she felt reflected back at her from brown eyes full of pain.

She remembers holding Leo, as gentle as she could but hurting him nonetheless. She remembers gripping him so tight that nothing could take him away. She looks back and sees sea green eyes in front of her trying to get her attention, frantic and full of uncontrollable anger, and the voice that went along with them yelling at her to get up, to move, or else she would be hit. She remembers Leo's voice from below, his hand slackly touching her wrist, smearing blood on the skin there, his voice croaking at her to move and get up and fight because there was no way he was going to let her die there, like this.

She ignored both Percy and Leo, instead hunching over Leo's body protectively, trying all at once to will him to live and heal and protect him from the outside threats.

She remembers crying, remembers hearing a distant scream that she's sure came from Piper and then an agonized yell that was undoubtedly Jason, because right after it there was electricity in the air and her hair stood on its end as monsters were blasted to dust by lightning.

But mostly she remembers whispering 'I'm sorry', over and over again in Leo's ear and then having Leo smile up at her and tell her she had nothing to be sorry for because she gave him everything he ever wanted.

"I'll see you on the other side," he told her weakly. "But not for a while, okay?"

She hiccuped. "I can't lose you."

His expression had faltered and she had seen it, seen him, his fear and pain and despair. She had seen how sorry he was to leave her like this.

"Don't," she said before kissing his brow and running her hands through his curls, ignoring the blood pooling around them, soaking her knees and legs. "Don't try to- to make it okay." She closed her eyes. "I'm going to miss you so much."

"Oh Rey," he sighed, a huge rattling sigh. "Not nearly as much as I'll miss you."

A sob from nowhere escaped her. "Please don't leave me. I don't want to be alone again."

But he was leaving already, she could see it. His breathing was more uneven, his eyes were dimming and his forced smile was slipping away.

She swallowed and raised her chin, meeting his eyes before he really was gone. "I love you Leo."

His smile was the last thing he gave her. It brightened his whole face and Reyna's tears fell like a dam breaking. "Me too."

She stayed there for a few seconds, or minutes. But then a spear sailed past her ear and Annabeth and Percy were both there now, hauling her to her feet.

"Reyna, get up!" Annabeth yelled at her. "You'll die if you don't move!"

Reyna looked at her numbly before turning to Percy. "Help me?" She asked.

Understanding flickered in his eyes as he nodded. "Of course."

Annabeth gripped her sword. "Let's go then."

Together they charged.