Same Ianto, Different Jack

Chapter 40

by Gracefultree

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A/N: As a few of you have pointed out, this won't be the epilogue. It's just a regular chapter. Be prepared for angst. I've given fair warning.

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Pain, like being dragged over broken glass.

Every cell, every atom, every molecule burned. Fire, electricity, the Dalek's lasers. It didn't matter, because the only thing he knew was pain.

He opened his mouth to scream, but there was no air in the darkness.

He pulled in a gasping breath, panic and adrenalin sending energy to his muscles as he came back to life. Something was around him, constraining him. His panic increased.

Manacles meant he was back on the Valiant. But, no, it wasn't metal that held him. He was leaning against something soft, so not the metal of a spaceship or the concrete and glass of the 456 cage. He thrashed, scrabbled at what held him, nails digging into flesh.

Flesh?

He felt skin against his back, and the wiry chest hair of a man. Naked. He was naked. Back in the war, they'd stripped the bodies of dead soldiers and thrown them into a pit to deal with later, when they had time. It had happened to him before. Was he back in the war? Surrounded by corpses? He scratched at the body that held him, his fingers coming away wet with blood.

Corpses didn't bleed.

He heard a grunt of pain. The arms holding him shifted, a hand moving to rest over his heart. The man started talking, his low baritone soft and soothing, his accent a welcome balm on his ears. He tried to relax.

He took another breath, smelled sweat and spicy aftershave, coffee and that hint of citrus that always lingered around them because Ianto put a drop of orange essence into the washing.

Ianto!

He opened his eyes. The darkness wasn't as bad as he expected. He was in his bunker. Someone, most likely Ianto, was holding him. Slowly, Ianto's voice penetrated the panic.

"You're safe, Jack. You're safe. I've got you. I'm not going anywhere."

Jack twisted in Ianto's arms. He reached up and held a hand to Ianto's cheek. "Ianto," he whispered.

"I've got you, Jack," Ianto repeated. "You're safe. You're in your bunker, in Cardiff." He bent forward to kiss Jack gently on the mouth.

Jack melted into the kiss, letting Ianto set the pace, slow and sensual. Ianto started moving his hands, caressing Jack's skin, bringing him out of his panic and fear with a tenderness that brought tears to Jack's eyes. They made love slowly, Ianto murmuring endearments the entire time. Jack drank up the care, reassured that he was safe, that everything would be all right now that he had Ianto with him, alive and safe.

Alive.

Ianto was alive. And he was alive. He'd just come back from being dead, and he hadn't hurt Ianto. But how had he died? He couldn't remember. The last thing he remembered was Ianto pointing a gun at him, then leading him to his bunker, kissing him, encouraging him to sleep —

"How did I die?" Jack asked, the first words he'd spoken since he came back. Ianto cuddled closer to Jack, and Jack felt a strange tenseness, despite the sex and release they'd just enjoyed. "Ianto?"

"I'm fine, Jack. You didn't hurt me," Ianto whispered.

Jack paused, digesting that, remembering his panicked thrashing. "I scratched you."

"Already healed," Ianto answered. Jack ran his hands over Ianto's arms, realizing it was true. "I heal quickly, remember?"

Jack grunted, not satisfied with that answer. Ianto was being evasive. He hated that. It meant Ianto was trying to manipulate him into something. Usually, that was fine, since it involved sex or finishing paperwork, but when talking about Jack's deaths or Ianto's healing…

"How did I die?" he asked again.

Ianto sighed the way he did when he was about to admit to the manipulation. "Lethal dose of morphine while you were sleeping," he said softly.

"Did you administer it, or did Mike?"

"I did."

"Who knows you were going to do it?"

"Gwen, Rex, Esther, Bruce and Marta, the department heads."

Jack blinked in surprise. "That's a lot of people," he commented, a numbness falling over his mind to cover the anger and hurt and fear that started spreading throughout his psyche. His lover had killed him — Ianto had killed him. The one man he knew he could trust in the entire universe, had killed him.

"I told them about the JB-X files. You and I can't fix you on our own, Jack. That's become very clear. I needed their help."

Jack closed his eyes and took a deep breath, holding it for a moment before letting it out. The numbness was spreading, closing off his heart. He climbed out of bed.

"Jack?" Ianto asked.

Jack pulled on a pair of boxers. He pulled Ianto's trousers out of the wardrobe and threw them at him. "Get out," he hissed.

"What?"

"I said, get out," Jack repeated, feeling the anger burning under the surface of the false-calm. He needed to do something about it before he could feel it. He needed to use the numbness to protect himself. "I've let you cross lines before, let you push my boundaries, but this was too much, Ianto. Get out."

Ianto sat up and pulled on the trousers, his motions jerky with uncertainty. "Jack, let me —"

Jack tossed Ianto a shirt and started gathering his things. "The last lover who killed me set me up for months of torture," Jack declared. He herded Ianto up the ladder, into his empty office. "I'm not willing to put myself in jeopardy like that."

"That's not what I —"

Jack unceremoniously opened the door and shoved Ianto into the main Hub. Barefoot, one of Jack's shirts in his arms, confused and hurt, Ianto stumbled out of the office.

"Jack, I love —"

"Get out," Jack said again, his voice as cold as ice. "You can keep the flat. I won't be going back there." The threw Ianto's things at his feet, one of his shoes bouncing into the pool at the base of the watertower. "And in case there's any confusion, you're fired!" Jack shouted. He slammed the office door closed behind him, leaving Ianto in the middle of the Hub, not caring that he'd just dumped Ianto in public because he was too numb to think about anything other than Ianto's betrayal by killing him.

Down in his bunker, Jack curled up on his bed and let the tears come.

He was more alone than he'd ever been, and the one man he really trusted had betrayed him.

Nothing would ever be the same.

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