Hey so this is a fanfic so if I want Blaine to take Kurt's last name he's going to, even though we all know that canonly no way that's happening.

I just. "Blaine Hummel". It gives me feels, okay?

Old People Sex

Kurt is staring at himself in the mirror, stark naked. He sighs, lifting one hand and watching the muscle dangle from it. His abs look like- well, actually, what abs? He has no abs. Just sad looking, soft muscle. He sighs again, turning around. He has hyper pigmentation stains on his back, and his ass… his ass looks like an airless balloon, he decides.

He glances at his and Blaine's wedding photos on the wall, smiling melancholically at their young selves.

It's not all sad, though- that was the happiest day of his life. And Blaine's, too. He just wishes, sometimes, that he could go back to being young and naive and broke and stupid and sexy.

Blaine walks in the room then (or skips, rather), with a smile on his face and a newspaper in his hand. "Guess who's in the paper today?"

Kurt rolls his eyes fondly. "Do tell."

Blaine walks up to him and hands him the paper, groping his ass playfully and kissing his neck. On page six, there's a huge picture of both of their faces, smiling at the camera, from that event half a year ago. The article is something about their last joint project- the outfits Kurt will be designing for Blaine's newest production.

"Babe," Blaine kisses his cheek when he's not quite smiling. "We're famous!"

Kurt drops the paper and wraps his hands around Blaine instead. "We've been 'famous' for years."

"So what? We've been husbands for years, and I've never stopped being excited whenever I remind you of that."

Kurt kisses his nose. "You're adorable."

Blaine leans in and nibbles on his lower lip. "What's with standing in front of the mirror naked again?"

"Are you complaining, Hummel?"

He blushes. After all these years, being called Blaine Hummel is still the best thing that's ever happened to him. "Not at all. Just wondering."

"I was just looking at my saggy ass," Kurt explains nonchalantly.

Blaine gasps theatrically. "Your ass is not saggy!"

"Honey, I get that you'll love me no matter what I look like, but my ass is really saggy."

Blaine doesn't really know what to say to that, so he just replies, "You're still, like, super hot."

"Thank you. I just… don't like it. Being old."

"Hey, look at the bright side- we got old together."

Now he smiles. "We did."

"Wasn't it what we always wanted?" Blaine brings a hand to stroke his cheek gently.

"It was indeed. We really did everything we wanted, didn't we?"

Blaine kisses him enthusiastically, tongue teasing and hands cupping Kurt's face. "We did. One more thing to cross off the list, though."

"And what that might be?"

"Old people sex!"

Kurt laughs, kissing Blaine again. "We have tons of old people sex. In fact, I'm pretty sure we have the most old people sex out of every other old couple I know. We have more sex than some young people."

"Well, we can't stop now, can we? Otherwise our crown for the most-sexually-active-old-couple will be stolen from us!" He rubs his nose against Kurt's.

"You're such a horndog."

"True," Blaine smirks. "But I'm going to show you exactly how much I like your saggy ass, so you won't be complaining for much longer." He's all but kneading on Kurt's ass like a cat, his lips to close to Kurt's that it drives him mad. "Now get your sexy, beautiful, saggy ass on the bed, husband, because I'm gonna rock your world."

"Dumbass," Kurt mutters lovingly, before catching Blaine's wrists in his hands and pulling him to the bed.