Organic Redemption Fallout, or, Outfitters and Harriers

A/N: Complete trash and indulgent fluff involving Alexa, Doug and a plan to repopulate NLA after the organic redemption.

Swears, beer, innuendo, why am I even bothering with warnings, just, be warned.

I can barely bring myself to point out that the original good stuff belongs to the geniuses of MONOLITH SOFT, and I can only hope they forgive me.

Outfitters are known for their curiosity and willingness to try new things. Alexa was an Outfitter to end all Outfitters. Harriers are sworn to serve New LA in any way possible, no task too daunting. Doug was the oversized poster child for Harriers. And on Friday nights, they were neither of those things, just two friends ready to relax and think about nothing important in the least. No saving the world, no finding the solution. Their mutual mission was mindless, relaxing fun, in the form of the best and worst skell-related videos available.

Doug thumped onto his couch, two beers at the ready. Movie night à la Douglas was on, cheese popcorn, beer, fine viewing. Tonight: a documentary on … wait for it, waaaaaait for it … skells, from Sakuraba 0001 to the Ares 70. A bit outdated, but still a good video. Fun times were ahead, but clearly Alexa had something she would need to rant about first. He set her beer on the table, since she was focused elsewhere. He could wait.

"Oh crap, I don't want to have to deal with this!" Alexa was muttering at a text on her comm device. She waved the scrap of technology angrily at Doug. "You know the memos they've been sending out, to women? Nagging us to get on with the repopulation thing?"

Doug puffed out a breath, and concentrated on opening his beer.

"Well?"

No ignoring her. "Yeah, they've sent a note round to the guys too."

"Not the same. Because, honestly, you 'guys' are practically unnecessary."

He didn't argue the point. He knew exactly what she was talking about. Ever since the organic redemption had finally started, much delayed, the government of New LA had turned its sights on increasing the human population. Reviving the survivors from the Lifehold was all well and good, but those in charge also seemed determined to get some new citizens the old-fashioned way. Tiny citizens.

"They're promising babysitting and job security and time off and I don't care what. I just don't want to have the first thing to do with it."

"So don't. They can't make you, can they?" That thought made Doug anxious.

"No, I don't think so. But, jeez, are they ever spending a lot of time pointing out that it's our duty, blah blah blah." She'd pronounced it "doooooooooty".

Doug set down his beer bottle, turned to Alexa, and said, firmly, "You shouldn't do anything you don't want to. If you don't want a kid, you shouldn't and nobody should…"

Alexa waved his concern away. "Oh, it's not the kid that's the problem. I figure that's okay. Hell, I babysat for my brothers and they were TWINS! And my cousins and friends and the whole neighborhood when I could. I like them."

"So what's the problem?"

"Ugh. The whole getting the kid business. I do not want to be bothered."

Doug smiled slightly. "Hate to say this, but guys still can't get pregnant. Although I hear they're working on it."

"Fine, great, whatever, not the point. No, no, I meant the GETTING to getting the kid business."

"Oh." There followed a moment of silence while Alexa glared at her text and Doug sat there with a studiously blank expression. It would have been awkward except Alexa was still so angry and Doug was too busy thinking very very hard. He didn't come up with much. "Er… there's always artificial, er… that thing where…"

"Artificial insemination, Doug. Grow up. Yeah, I'm probably going to cave and go that way, eventually, but how am I going to stand it later?"

"I don't follow."

"Look. Either it's someone I know, and I just can't handle a dude looking at me like he's all something special or…"

"Honestly, Alexa, when have you ever noticed?"

"Don't interrupt. And for this, I'd notice. So either some guy is grinning like an idiot any time me and Junior wander past, or I don't even know word one about who the father is. Either way, it's like: 'What was my papi like, Mommy?' 'Sort of like a dixie cup, sweetie.' No."

"Little bit biased there, Alexa."

"Shut up. I told you, I'm going to cave, eventually. I just have to get past it, okay? Ugh, enough of that. Let's watch this movie."

They certainly watched the movie, but it was clear neither was taking much in. You want proof? No catcalls or cheers, and remarkably little drooling on Alexa's part, if any.

About half way through, Doug suddenly said, "I've been thinking, about what you said, about kids and stuff."

"Great. I don't care. I'm thinking about it enough as it is."

"You could try something else, um, if you wanted something different, um, …"

"What?" she asked sharply.

"I could be the dad," he blurted.

And another silence rested between the two.

"What?"

"You know, I could be the dad. However you wanted."

"However I wanted what?"

Doug closed his eyes and scrunched his face. Mistake on his part. He didn't see the narrowing of Alexa's eyes, the snarl growing on her face. "Er, the artificial insemination thing or, um, …"

Alexa stared at him in spitless amazement. "You're joking."

"Never mind. Just a suggestion."

"Nuh uh, you started this. Did I just catch you right? Did you just offer to impregnate me old school?"

"Dumb idea. Let's drop it."

"Oh you bet it's a dumb idea," she said, anger ringing in her voice even if she wasn't shouting. Yet. "Because surprisingly enough, I'm not suddenly glad to hear that you'd be all self-sacrificing for little old Alexa, dumb old Alexa, can't manage to figure out guys because she doesn't give a crap about that stuff Alexa…"

"I never said that," he argued, weakly.

But she ignored him and went on, building to a full-on rant. "You think you're the first? Well, you aren't, you idiot. You think dudes aren't trolling around, every time a memo goes out? I want to kill whoever thought this was a great idea. Gah, it is the worst. After the last time, three guys I thought were pretty cool hit me up. THREE! IN ONE WEEK! And all three mentioned that, gee, I might have a little trouble finding a partner, because, you know, I'm so lame but they'd see their way clear to …"

Doug looked at her in shock. "What? No! Alexa, no."

"… And I'm halfway to thinking that they have a little bit of a point, but hell no, they were jerks, making jerk moves in jerk ways, and I really don't like that you've gone and turned just as stupid as them …"

"Hey, I'd never…"

"…Because it sounded a lot like that to me and…"

"Alexa!" He'd grabbed her shoulders, then let go of them just as quickly. He bunched his hands in fists, steady on his knees, and looked down at them. "I didn't mean it like that. They're wrong, you know that. I'd never say something like that to you. I just want to do anything, if it could help. Whatever you think. Or nothing. I could just babysit, you know. Because your kid would be awesome." He gave a half-hearted shrug.

She blinked at the side of his face, noticed how hard he was blushing. No one else saw past all that jawline, no one else seemed to care when his ears went bright red. Doug blushed a lot sometimes, and being organic hadn't changed that. Alexa took a calming breath and tried again. Tried to consider it without her anger at certain nameless, uncool jerkfaces. Tried to pretend that Doug was the first, the only one, to mention it. "So. You're not being a creep."

He looked at her, a very sorry expression on his face. "Honest, Alexa. Swear to god. I was just trying to help."

"Semper helpful. That the Harrier motto or something?"

"Plus, I like kids," Doug said quietly.

She nodded. Yeah, she'd believe that.

"And I like you," he said, very quietly. And turned to look at the documentary with deep interest.

"Huh." Suddenly, she also found the documentary deeply fascinating. They both were rapt in their attention right through until the credits. And the extra bonus interviews. And the storyboard.

Eventually, there was nothing left besides the deleted scenes, and not even this extreme awkwardness could make those anything worth watching, ever. They were left with the ritual of tidying up Doug's living room, usually full of chat and plans, tonight dead silent except for a passing "excuse me" and "here you go".

"Well, thanks for the movie and everything," Alexa said, getting ready to go.

"Yeah. Look, sorry I said anything. Ignore it, okay? And I'm real sorry you have to put up with those jerks. You shouldn't have to. I could…"

"Oh no, do NOT offer to 'talk' to them. Just what I need, more drama."

"Yeah, sorry."

"So." Suddenly, she made a quick, calculated decision. Risky. But, heck, she was an Outfitter, ready to test any weird combo the clients threw at her. Sometimes stuff worked, even if it wasn't her thing. Knives, for example. Light skells. Any armor from Candid and Credible. Aaaand she was getting distracted. "You want to help."

"Alexa…"

"And you like kids."

He just nodded, eyes closed, waiting for her to leave. She stepped a little closer to him.

"And you like me." She paused. "Right. Let's try it out."

"What?!" His eyes were wide, and was he backing away just a little? Fool. He was done, he'd offered, she'd take his damn help.

"You. Me. Babies. Okay?"

It was pretty damn okay. Because Alexa was an Outfitter. Outfitters were known for their curiosity and willingness to try new things. Besides, she had a list she'd been keeping of every place she thought Doug was ticklish, just in case it would ever be useful. And Doug was a Harrier. Harriers were sworn to serve New LA in any way possible, no task too daunting. Besides, when all is said and done, Doug was pretty good at taking orders and very good at [post game spoiler]. And both of them were fine with long-term, meticulous missions.

Eleven months later, Doug started showing up around town, wearing a baby sling full of a dark haired infant with the most terrific and serious scowl. Everyone one was like, "Oh how cute, Doug's babysitting for Alexa again. Wonder who the father is." Until they registered her for daycare as Tiffany Barrett.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

A/N: Ahhhhhhh! I totally cheated my way into this. TOTALLY. I'm personally convinced that the organic redemption is never going to happen (*cough* mechon *cough*). You can completely ignore this fluff's existence, pretend that it is some weird dream a Nopon had after too much dumpster diving. But, promise me, never! never watch the deleted scenes! They were deleted for a reason, kids!

Thus ends the Doug and Alexa arc. If anything more shows up for them, I'll start a new batch. Next stuff to go up with either be more life among the NPCs, especially the OC NPC's of my imaginary Auxillary Skell Refuelling Station 1.