He slammed his phone down, growling in frustration. Nine months. It had been nine freaking months and no contact other than a brief message at the start. He knew she would be pissed. Hell, his girl could hold a grudge like no one business. It was one of the things Dean found so attractive about her. Her fury was dead sexy. Lethal but dead sexy. Hell, he had heard how hurt and angry she had been but even if she had been angry at him, she knew to check in and let him know that she was okay. It was an unwritten law of their relationship that even if they were mad at each other they would always check in for fear that something might have happened. But no, all he had gotten was one message. One damn simple message eight months ago "Don't know if what I am can be called 'alive' but there you go. Arsehole." That was it. After that it was dead silent. She no longer answered her mobile, letting it go to voicemail message without it even ringing. You did ditch her completely. The small positive was that at least she hadn't changed her number. The brief ten second voice recording always made him feel a little warmer inside. Hi you've reached my voicemail. Sorry I couldn't get to the phone in time but I probably left it somewhere on silent and can't remember where it is! Leave me your name and number and I'll get back to you whenever I find it! Yes, he was a sad, stupid arsehole. If he knew how to email he would have bombarded her that way. The few letters he had sent her, begging for her to contact him had prevailed no reply. She knew in his line of work, grudges were cast aside. Didn't she care if he was alive or not? Did she really think that he no longer cared? Was he really that convincing? Did she really think that after all this time together that he could ditch her so easily? Yes. You left her alone, lied to her about never loving her and threw it all away after three years. You left her sobbing on the floor. She always knew you were going to leave her one day.
"No answer?" A deep voice interrupted his thoughts followed by a beer sliding in front of him.
"Nah. Nothing. She knows the rules." He grunted back taking a long pull of his beer.
"She also knows that you broke her heart." He looked up at the elder man in disbelief.
"Cause you told me too!"
John Winchester sighed as he looked over his oldest son. The last nine months was etched on his face. The deep bags from lack of sleep and the dull look within his eyes rang just how much pain his son was really in. He looked like John had after Mary had died.
"I stand by that call. It was putting her life in danger. Damn right I'm going to tell you to pull the plug" John said sitting down with his own beer.
"But she knew! She knew about the life, accepted it! Hell she even has a damn degree in demonology!" Dean yelled. "You gotta admit she came in handy!" It was true. He had managed to find the one girl who held a degree in demonology and actually knew her shit about myths and legends and how to hunt the monsters in the dark.
"Don't you raise your voice to me boy! I am your father! You know damn well that this was completely different. The mate was onto you! Almost three years, Dean, of putting her in danger. You almost got her killed! Twice! She was a distraction and we can't afford those with our job. Wasn't the werewolf attack enough for you?" John had lost all patience for his eldest son. The guilt at taking away him from the one source of true happiness was eating away at him. He wished it could be different. He wished that he could let his son have the life he deserved and wanted but truth was John needed Dean close. He had already lost Sammy. Sammy had given up and walked out without as much as a thank you or goodbye. It had been almost a year with no word form his youngest. He didn't return calls or letters, hell, he didn't even speak to his brother and Lord knows how close those too were. Not that she was a big threat. In fact John rather liked the quirky, intelligent girl Dean fell in love with. She didn't try to change him, accepted what he did for a living, hell like Dean said she even had the degree in the study of demons and myths of the world. Dean was right too about her being handy. Having another person besides Bobby who knew everything about everything was a huge time saver. But John couldn't bear to witness his son go through what he did with Mary and it was without a doubt in his mind, destined to happen. He needed to save his son from the heart ache that came with watching the woman you love die and so he had pushed that Dean leave her to save her. Dean didn't need her. Dean had him. That's the problem with being a selfish arsehole. Look how unhappy your boy is. John rubbed his face.
"Look son, I liked her. You know I did. She was smart and helpful and sweet. But she ain't got no place in this world with you."
Dean sighed. That was the kicker. They had tracked a werewolf and it had attacked her, taking a large chunk out of her arm and back. He was never as scared as he was when he saw her laying there in a pool of her blood. He still had nightmares about it to this day. And then its mate decided to get revenge. His dad was right; she really didn't have a place in his life. But that didn't mean that he didn't want her there. If he had his way, he never would have left her. But Dad said to leave her. That she would be safer without him. The monsters would stop at nothing to seek revenge on him and they would take it out on her. She had suffered enough with him there. Without him, she would be safe and have the life she deserved. Three years was enough time. Why couldn't it be with me though?
"You're right." He muttered, hating the taste of those words coming out of his mouth. John sighed, he was going to regret this but Dean needed to see for himself that she was fine, alive and hopefully had moved on. If he saw that than maybe he would get his head back in the game and focus on what needed to be done and maybe, just maybe, he'll start sleeping again. And maybe, with any luck, the guilt that was eating away at him would disappear and they could all move on.
"Look, we have some down time now and I need to go and check in with Caleb. He said something about a new job and has information I need. We're close. Go see her. Make sure she is okay."
"Seriously?" Dean glanced at his dad, hoping he had heard right. John internally sighed as he saw the light glow in Dean's eyes. This was a bad idea but at the same time a very good idea. Hopefully she was shacked up with someone else and Dean could move on.
"You are no good to me distracted son and knowing you as I do, you won't get back into the game until you see her for yourself that she is alive and well. Go. We will meet at Caleb's in 24 hours."
"Thanks Dad. I'll be quick I swear." Dean stood and quickly put on his jacket before John changed his mind.
"Yeah, yeah. Tell her I said hi." John swallowed the last of his beer. "You better come back focused boy." Dean threw him his trademark boyish grin.
"You can count on it."
This is going to bite you in the arse Johnny boy. He thought with a sigh and signalled the waitress for another drink. Here's hoping she has moved on completely.

Next one should be up tomorrow or the next day. Thank you for reading. Please leave your thoughts in the reviews.

Wicked.