Chapter 14: Memories

Alfred's POV

My light footsteps echo in the empty hallway as I walk towards Master Tim's room. I hold onto a silver tray with a plate of cookies that he politely requested for.

I walk into his room, his door is wide open for me to enter. Master Tim seems to be busy with an essay.

"Hey, Alfred." He greets, dropping his pen and looking my way.

"Good morning, Master Tim." I put down the plate of cookies on his desk right in front of him.

"Thanks Alfred." He says

I nod, and I start to head towards the doorway.

"Alfred?" He stops me. "Is...is Jason going to be okay?" He asks sounding rather worried.

I turn and put my hand on his shoulder. "Only time will tell Master Tim." I say.

He seems to ponder for a while and then he soon nods. "Okay..." He says

I turn and leave his room.

I continue to walk down the empty hallway, and I take one quick glance at Master Jason's old, empty, locked room.

I remember rather loud music blowing from behind the door. I recall the slam of this door whenever he and Master Bruce disagreed with something.

I walk down the steps as I listen to the laughter of a memory.

I cannot forget Young Master Jason's enthusiastic laughter as he slid down the railings on his two feet. His smile widened once he flipped and landed on his two feet at the bottom of the stairs.

"Young Master Jason, how many times do I have to tell you?" I recall scolding the boy.

"Sorry Alfred." He apologized.

"Come now." He ran next to me and we walked towards the kitchen.

"Can I help you wash the dishes?"

"Of course." I remember walking to the kitchen, and the memory fades away from my sight.

I walk towards the kitchen and take a seat by the kitchen table and I take a look at the picture of Young Master Jason when he was only twelve years old.

His grin was wide as he was holding onto Bruce's hand. In the background was the old pier that closed down after a murder was witnessed at that very place only three or two years ago, if my memory serves me right.

I let out a slight sigh.

I can never forget how Master Jason always spent most of his time helping me with the chores. Sometimes he would spend his time with me just to have a conversation.

He was and always has been a grandchild to me.

I remember...when I was sitting in this exact place when Young Master Jason peeked in through the kitchen doorway, and he asked me:

"Alfred? Am I allowed to play the piano?"

"Of course."

He seemed to almost jump up as a grin was plastered on his face. He ran towards the piano.

When I was drinking tea at this table, I listened to him play the piano. It sounded beautiful...he was a talented young boy.

He wasn't bragging, but he told me that his mother used to play the piano, and he could learn how to play a song just by listening to it.

I wonder if he still knows how to play the piano after many years.

I still remember how distraught this family was when he...passed.

He was only a young boy then, only a fifteen year old child.

How Master Bruce was forced to bury his own son, and how I had to clean the wounds and the uniform of my grandson.

None of us would be able to relive that moment.

****Break****

Chris' POV

"No match." Dick says staring at the screen with his hands on his waists.

"Are you sure?" I ask.

He nods. "We've re-checked like five times...her DNA doesn't match anybody's..."

"But how? Did you check Autumn Cross'?" I start to type rapidly on the computer.

"That deceased girl? Yeah, but Autumn Cross has no DNA data on file."

I sigh. "But that's not fair. We had her! We had her DNA!" I complain.

"Search Todd's DNA. Try matching it with Phoenix's." Damian says as he walks in.

"Okay."

Two separate pictures of The Red Hood and The Phoenix pops up.

"Start analyzing their DNA." Dick says to the computer.

As the BatComputer starts to analyze, I'm pulled into a memory.

I was at the orphanage, watching another orphan girl get adopted.

"Can I call you daughter now?" The woman asked.

"Yes, mommy!" The girl answered happily as she hugged her new mom.

I remember tears at the edge of my eyes...waiting for someone to adopt me, wondering if anyone even wanted me...asking why no one cared about me.

"Someone's gonna come." I mumbled.

A young girl about my age sat right beside me. "You still think someone will adopt you, huh? An ally of mine once said...don't get your hopes up." The girl said.

I scowled without so much as glancing at her. I wiped the tears threatening to fall.

"Go, get out! Go mop the mess hall!" I heard Ms. Blanchard say as she sat next to me.

I didn't take my eyes off the car that was driving away.

"Don't worry Chris, you'll find a family one day. But for now, I'll take care of you, okay?" She wrapped her arm around my shoulder and gave me a gentle squeeze.

I started to sob into my mother figure's shoulder.

She drew circles around my back and comforted me. "Shush." She said gently.

I'm pulled out of my memory when the analyzing ends.

I read all the info. "It says that their DNA is close..." Dick and Damian stare wide eyed at each other.

I look at them. "Well? Tell me what that means!" I say. Bruce still hasn't taught me everything (which I find super annoying) and I haven't learned this in school yet...

"It means...they're siblings." Dick stutters. My own eyes widen.

"WHAT!" I almost scream.

Jason has a sister!? No way! I don't believe this...

"I'm gonna go tell Tim!" I start running towards the exit of the BatCave. "TIM! TIM! OH MY GOD!"

****Break****

Autumn's POV

I shove my hands in my pockets as I walk down the sidewalk. I hide my face in my hood as I walk towards the hospital.

It's been three weeks since the incident. I've barely even recovered from some of my injuries.

I can hardly walk. The impact of the blasts...it was, painful...

When I woke up in the enemy's cave, I grabbed Red Robin's arm and I pressed a button on my mask.

There was a loud sonic screech that can mess with the minds of humans. So when they were all holding their heads in pain, I got my motorcycle and I drove out of the cave as fast as an injured person could.

I headed towards Eliza May's clinic first. She forced me to stay there for at least two weeks to recover.

I would NOT stay in enemy lines, even if it was my life or my death.

I'm still trying to recover until now.

The house has been quiet lately...it's soooo boring.

I'm going to visit Jason for the first time because this is the only time I've got to visit him because his entire damned family is standing outside his room 24/7.

I pass by the large glass window of a store, and I stare at what's displayed behind the window.

It's a little teddy bear that I wanted before.

I remember standing at this same spot staring at the little toy. My dad stood behind me staring at it with me when I was about two years old.

I look down, right beside me and I can see the past.

The little two year old me holding onto my dad was staring at that same teddy bear. The two year old with cute little pig tails in her hair pulled at her dad's shirt.

"Daddy, can I have that...please!" The two year old pleaded.

Her father looked at the toy with her. "Alright, but not today, okay? Maybe next time." He said putting his hand on her shoulder.

She nodded and they both walked away as the little girl still stared at the toy.

I look back at the bear. That little two year old was me...I wanted that toy when I was younger.

I never got it...Dad forgot about it...he never gave me the bear, he never remembered it. But I never forgot about the toy that I wanted and I asked myself from time to time when he was going to finally give it to me.

But he always forgot about it, and I tried to remind him, until the day he died.

I turn my head and continue walking towards the hospital.

I walk through the doors...I can hear wailing and crying, I can smell tears and death, I can see many men and women crying for a family member or a friend of theirs that seems to be dying. They all look like hopeless ghosts searching for light, searching for answers.

I never like hospitals, even before that most traumatizing moment...

I just hated hospitals, no matter what. Hospitals became one of my fears.

I walk down the hall, towards the elevator. I glance at one room...the door seems to be slightly opened, and inside the room, I can clearly see a long table with a dead body covered in a ghost white sheet. A woman seems to be crying, kneeling on the ground next to the body.

In my mind, the woman becomes a young eleven year old with teal green eyes and her hair tied but still resting on her shoulder.

The dead body becomes bloodier and smaller.

The eleven year old kneels beside the table, her head leaning on her arm as she cries by the table and holding onto the hand of the boy under the sheets.

I sigh. I close my eyes for a second and when I open my eyes, I can see the woman instead of the child crying in the cold dark room instead.

I continue walking slowly as all these mourning people are walking and sobbing.

I look to my left and I see a woman crying into her husband's shoulder.

I look to my right as I walk and I see a child sobbing, crawled up by a wall right beside a certain door.

I look forward and I see the elevator open. I enter and as the door closes, I take another look at these people that look more dead than alive.

The elevator goes up and I look down.

I can say that I'm afraid of hospitals...because I am. I fear hospitals...if I was forced to go here, I would cry and run away.

Why am I here? For my brother of course.

But I still remember that traumatizing moment when I lost my little brother. I wonder, was he in pain when he died?

I'm afraid...but Ducra said...Fear, is a useless emotion for you.

She's right. I wish to strike fear into my enemy's hearts, not grow it in my own heart.

If I am afraid, so what? I'll still have to face that fear one way or another.

Being afraid, is useless...the word itself is insignificant...it doesn't matter...

But then...why am I so afraid?

I walk down the hallway, to his room, and quietly, I open the door.

I almost close my eyes at the sight.

His face is wrapped in bandages, his arm is in a cast, his foot is elevated, there are tubes stuck down his throat to help him breathe, there are so many wires and machines connected to him that it makes me wanna pull them out.

I listen to medicine drop, and the pumping of oxygen in one of the machines, the continuous slow beeping of the heart monitor fills the room.

The light is dim, and the smell of medicine is present in the air. I move to the side of his bed.

Come on Autumn, keep in mind that it's still Jason under there.

"Hey Jase..." I start. "I can't stay too long, because well, your family's out there. Don't get mad, it isn't my fault." I pause staring at the heart monitor thinking that maybe it could go flat.

"It's been sooo boring at home...and quiet. I guess that's one of the reasons why I didn't go to that house when I was still on the streets about three months ago...because when there's no one else in that house, it feels...kinda sad. Also because the memories in that house...well, it sucks...I don't like remembering." I say.

"I'm slowly recovering from my injuries. Hey, when you wake up, remind me to tell you that I told you so. If I wasn't at the warehouse to at least get you out of the place then you would've died...again. Although...I wish I came earlier, I might have saved you and you'd still be okay...you wouldn't be in this hospital..."

I look down. "My injuries are pretty bad, but hey, you know me...pain is just pain...I've learned to live with it...physically..." I look back at his bandaged face.

"Dude, you have to wake up and get out of this stupid hospital soon, cause like...life is so lame. And if you die...if that monitor goes flat...and if you leave...I swear Jason." I clench my teeth to prove my point. "I'll seriously kill you. First I'll revive you, then I'll kill you...the third time. Got it!?"

I sigh. "I'm serious, don't die." I stand up and walk towards the door. I hold onto the cold doorknob, but then I take one last glance at Jason.

"I'm not kidding Jason. You have to get better." I say seriously and I leave.

****Break****

Tim's POV

"What, Chris?! Can't you see I'm trying to finish this five hundred word essay?!"

"IT'S JASON!" Chris says as she stumbles into my room.

I nearly fall of my chair. "What about him?! Oh my god Chris, don't tell me-"

"No, no!"

"Then what is it?!" I ask anxiously

"Okay, so remember Phoenix? Two weeks ago, we got her DNA right? We couldn't analyze it yet because she had time to add a virus to our computer, but don't worry cause we fixed it. So, earlier-"

"Wait, Chris calm down...I can hardly understand you!"

"Don't cut me off again!" She yells. "JASON HAS A SISTER! A BLOOD SISTER!"

"WHAT!?" I drop my pen and fall off my chair. Chris starts running down the hall, and I start running while trying to force myself to stand up.

We run to the BatCave, and I start reading the new info...

"No way..."

"We scanned it...and Phoenix's DNA has a very similar DNA to Jason Todd's and Sheila Haywood. But other than that, Phoenix has no matching DNA with anyone in Gotham. Her DNA is...different." Dick says.

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"She is a meta, a powerful one." The Demon says.

"No one asked you Demon." I scowl. I hate Damian.

He rolls his eyes, and I move much farther away from him...until I almost hit the case.

I turn around and take a good long look at it...

Bruce always stares at the case...it's to remind himself of his greatest failure...he never really told anyone why Jason's his greatest failure.

Was it because he didn't train Jason well enough? Because he didn't save Jason the first time? Because he let this happen to Jason?

I wonder why Bruce never took down the uniform once he found out that Jason came back? Why does Dad keep on beating himself up with this case? Jason's already back...why is the tattered uniform still here to remind him of his failure.

I asked Alfred once. He only looked down sadly and I didn't push the question any further.

I look up at his uniform...I used to look up to the second Robin, the Robin that...died...he was my hero.

But when I found out that he came back, that he turned into a...a monster, he stopped being my hero. I didn't wanna turn out like him, but sometimes I ask myself...how does he feel about being...a monster?

Dick stands behind me. "He's not a monster you know." He says as if he was reading my mind.

"Then what is he?" I ask.

"WHO is he...he's our brother." He says.

I guess what he's saying is true. If he wasn't my brother then I wouldn't be worrying right now. If he wasn't anybody, then Bruce wouldn't be at the hospital right now, guarding his room.

"Why? Why does he keep this?" I suddenly ask, not taking my eyes off the case.

"Bruce kept the case because...because he said that "this" doesn't change anything at all." Dick says staring at the uniform with me.

I stay silent. I hear two more pairs of footsteps appear right by my side

The Demon is on my left while Chris is on my right staring at the case with me.

The four of us end up standing side by side staring at the case of our brother's old uniform.

****Break****

Autumn's POV

I sit on the edge of my bed changing the bandage of my ankle. It hurts just to move my ankle, and I think I've made the wound worse just by walking to the hospital.

It burns once I disinfect it, and it hurts even more just by wrapping it up in a clean bandage. I grimace at the pain, but I still stand up ignoring the stinging in my ankle. Slowly, I limp to the bathroom and take the sterilized needle and thread. I tie my hair and take a look at the scratch on my neck that I got from the debris weeks ago. It's opened again. I must have pulled the stitches.

I'm so careless.

I start stitching up the large wound, not even bothering to make it gentle. There's no point, it's still going to hurt anyways.

I finish, and I sigh. I stare at myself in the mirror. Mom used to say that I'm a pretty girl, I think she was lying thought. I'm not pretty...I'm the exact opposite.

Jake used to tell me that I was perfect.

But I'm not, I'm a failure, an insignificant child...when I told Richard that I'm nobody, it's true...I am nobody. I'm just a kid that failed everyone she cared about.

I limp back to my bed and lie down with my hands spread to my side.

This house has been so quiet.

I turn my head and look at my guitar leaning on the wall.

Maybe...I should play it, any song will do. No one is here to judge me anyways...

Nah, I don't think I should. I stand up and hold the guitar. It used to be dad's guitar...he never played it so he gave it to me.

I learned how to play it on my own. I searched how to play it on the internet, although I would never call myself an expert on music, I had a taste in music.

I sigh and let go of the guitar and walk out of my room.

I grab my jacket and three candles and I leave the house, locking the door behind me.

It's not too far from here.

I walk, I look up at the sky, and it looks like it's about to rain...I have to be quick.

I enter the cemetery...where THEY are buried. I walk to the west side of the cemetery. I walk pass by the stones.

I stop right in front of one stone.

Ryan Cross

A father, a friend

I stand above the grave for a while as I stare at his name.

I kneel down and start to light the candle with the lighter, and I stab the ground with the candle.

I stare at the fire, then I look back at the name. "Happy now, dad? You got what you wanted. Now I'm like you...cold, hard, angry, fearless, uncaring...stupid." I mumble.

"You know, I don't understand...why? Did you never want me? I know you never really loved me, that those smiles you gave me were fake...but sometimes, dad...I lie to myself. Thinking that you did care. That you did want me, that you called me your daughter." I chuckle.

"It's a stupid fantasy, I know...but hey, one can dream, right?"

I take out a box of cigarettes that dad used to own. I light it with the lighter that dad left in his study before he died.

I watch the smoke reach up to the heavens as the cigarette burns.

I close my eyes and stab the grass with the cigarette, and I wipe my hands on my jeans.

"I should thank you...if you and Sheila could have kept your hands off each other, then I wouldn't be here. But then if I wasn't born at all, then maybe I wouldn't feel insanity at all either!"

I blow the light away.

I stand up. "Goodbye dad."

I start walking towards the north side of the large empty cemetery, stopping in front of two graves.

Teressa Williams

A mother

Nico Williams

A son, a brother

I kneel in front of mom's grave and light the candle with the same lighter and I stab the ground with the candle. I turn to the left and I do the same with another candle. I kneel in between the two graves.

"Hey Nico, how are you there in...Heaven?"

My little brother once told me that when I die, I'd go to Heaven.

"Is it fun up there? I'm sure it's better than down here."

The wind starts to blow and the leaves of the trees rustle. I can almost hear his laughter.

"I get it, if you don't wanna talk to me...I'm not the good sister you thought I was."

If he was alive, Nico would get mad at me just for holding onto a box of cigarettes.

"I'm sorry." I whisper. "For not being a better big sister, I wish, I died instead, I wish I got stuck in that crossfire with The Joker instead of you...I wish..." I trail away as the wind howls in my ear. I sigh. "Fine…"

I turn to my right. "Hey mom, I hope you're not sad anymore. I hope you're finally happy. Thanks by the way...for leaving me." I look at the grass.

"But it's okay...you never really promised me that you were going to stay with me. But hey, I kept my promise, right? I didn't leave you, up until the night that you killed yourself..."

Tears start to flow and I raise my head back at her name. My bloodshot eyes stare at the grave. "Why? Why would you leave, mom? I don't get it! Why did you give up? I didn't give up on you! Why did you give up on life? I stood my ground. Even when you treated me like trash, I didn't fight back because I knew that it wasn't your fault! I stayed, even when you would slap me, or hurt me, or just forget about me. I never forgot about you mom! I kept on reminding you!" I quietly yell.

I look back down. "You took care of me...so I thought that maybe it was my job to return the favor." I whisper, as tears fill my eyes.

"I didn't leave, no matter what...I promised you, that I wouldn't...but why did you leave me all on my own?" I start to hold my necklace as I kneel.

The grass starts to move and the wind blows my hair as I let the tears drip down my cheeks.

"Did you really hate me? If you did, then why did you take me in? I don't understand mom...I...I wish you were here...then maybe I'd know what to do... Mom, my older brother might meet you soon...and I don't know what to do if he did leave...if another person that I care about left me again...maybe if you were here, you'd make me feel better, maybe you can tell me what to do... I just wish you were here, mom...you don't need to do anything...just be here, like you always were...mom I...I miss you." I wipe the tears with my sleeve and I stand up slowly.

I look at the grave of my mom. "Happy Mother's day…" I turn around and walk away.

****Break****

I lift up my guitar, and I sit on my bed.

I tune it first and I start to play my favorite song. It's called Shattered by Trading Yesterday.

A/N: If you guys don't know that song then we suggest that you guys listen to the song while reading this.

The song starts slow...but this song, it reminds me of a lot of things...it always somehow brings back memories to me.

The songs starts out slowly. "Yesterday I died, tomorrow's bleeding.

Fall into your sunlight.

The future's open wide, beyond believing.

To know why, hope dies. "

I'm pulled into a memory as I play the guitar.

"Go! Get out!" Mom's voice echoes in my mind.

She threw me out of the apartment and shut the door.

"Losing what was found, a world so hollow.

Suspended in a compromise."

I banged on the door as it started to drizzle, tears ran down my cheeks. After a while I gave up and I sat on the steps, crawling up into a ball...not letting out a sob.

"The silence of this sound, is soon to follow.

Somehow, sundown." I sing

All I heard was the light splashing of water as it drizzled.

"And finding answers.

Is forgetting all of the questions we called home."

After hours of waiting in the rain, I got my paperclip and opened the door. I went up in the dark, and I walked into my bed even if I was still wet.

Then, that memory gets replaced by another memory.

I watched my brother get buried into the ground. I hugged my mom's dead body as blood spread all over my shirt and pants.

...I remember

"Passing the graves of the unknown."

Another memory hits me.

I was in the orphanage...watching a girl get adopted with another girl crying right beside me. She was waiting for someone to come and get her. I didn't bother to comfort her.

Later on, I watched as that girl was adopted by Bruce Wayne.

In that orphanage, I thought that maybe someone would adopt me too.

"As reason clouds my eyes, with splendor fading.

Illusions of the sunlight."

But I was just lying to myself.

"And a reflection of a lie, will keep me waiting.

With love gone, for so long." I sing as my eyes blur with tears.

I remember the war… The hope of winning it was all I had left.

"And this day's ending."

My comrades and I stood in a line, our backs straight and our arms at our sides.

We had to stay in that position as the commander yelled in our faces to see if we were tough enough.

"Is the proof of time killing, all the faith I know. "

I passed all the tests and in no time...I went back to killing the enemy.

I was a monster, a monster with only a little faith left.

"Knowing that faith, is all I hold."

I remember crashing to earth in that escape pod.

Crying out for my dad and mom.

Wishing for a hero to come and save me.

But no one came to catch me.

The music becomes louder and faster.

"And I've lost who I am, and I can't understand.

Why my heart is so broken, rejecting your love, without, love gone wrong, lifeless words carry on."

And so I broke…into millions of pieces.

"But I know, all I know, is that the end's beginning."

Now...I only have a little faith left.

"Who I am from the start, take me home to my heart.

Let me go and I will run, I will not be silent. "

Until now, I wait for anyone to come and fix me.

"All this time spent in vain, wasted years, wasted gain.

All is lost, hope remains, and this war's not over."

I still try and hope...I think that one day, I will be fixed...by someone…or maybe I can fix myself.

"There's a light, there's the sun, taking all shattered ones.

To the place we belong, and his love will conquer all."

I can fix myself. I can face this on my own, like I always have. I know there's still light...I just need to find it.

"And I've lost who I am, and I can't understand.

Why my heart is so broken, rejecting your love, without, love gone wrong, lifeless words carry on."

"But I know, all I know, is that the end's beginning.

Who I am from the start, take me home to my heart.

Let me go and I will run, I will not be silent.

All this time spent in vain, wasted years, wasted gain.

All is lost, hope remains, and this war's not over.

There's a light, there's the sun, taking all shattered ones.

To the place we belong, and his love will conquer all. "

I let the small tears fall.

"Yesterday I died, tomorrow's bleeding…fall into your sunlight..."