Schedules scared me. After having left the farm and started a life on-the-run with Snow I never wanted to live a life of predictability and settling. I wanted a life of excitement, full of surprises and once-in-a-lifetime chances. Driving a pickup truck and doing school drop-offs would have scared Prince Charming into a deep pit of regret, but David Nolan found such happiness in sitting in the car with his daughter if only it was for fifteen minutes.
Last week Emma went back to school, Snow took over the position as Mayor and I was still doing work at the Sheriff's Station. Each morning Emma and I sat quietly in the truck on the way to school, she would jump out, say goodbye, and that was the end of our morning routine. She was resentful with us for making her go back to school. It was like a death sentence, she claimed. It was our attempt at giving her a little normalcy.
Even though it was her second week back, the grimace on her face told me she was no more pleased to be going to school this morning as I was to go to work. She slid into the truck, put her bag by her feet and stared straight ahead. Mary Margaret walked around to my window.
"I'm going to be out of the office all day meeting with people, so I can't bring Emma to riding lessons today. Do you think you could leave the station early?"
"Yeah, I can arrange a few things." I smile so wide in hopes of making her smile too.
She leaned in and kissed me the way she always does. Her lips so sweet, so perfect.
"Have a good day!" She said across me to Emma. There was just silence in return.
Snow mustered as much hopefulness as she could before heading out in her own car. Last night Snow asked me to talk to Emma, give her some sage fatherly advice that may reroute her anger at Snow and direct it to its rightful owner – Regina.
Now that we closed the chapter on Regina Snow and I were hoping to build on our family. We wanted to create memories with Emma and give her some small semblance of a childhood. Emma saw our attempts as refusing to save Regina. Cora was a threat, but not great enough to stop us from living our daily life. Regina was off our radar all together. Whether she was in the Enchanted Forest or even in Storybrooke still we wanted to move forward. It was Snow's new position as Mayor that threw Emma over the edge. She targeted her anger at Snow, for the most part. She wasn't warm and fuzzy with me, but at least she would speak on occasion.
When I stopped the truck in front of her school she didn't budge, just looked at it.
"What if we took the alternative to school?"
"What's the alternative?"
"The alternative is we go to Granny's for breakfast, and I can sit shot-gun on your shift today."
Getting Emma's life back to normal was the most important thing we could do right now, but getting the chance to spend an entire day with her was far too tempting to refuse. I shifted the car in drive and left the school parking lot. It filled Emma with glee. We walked into Granny's and each ordered a plate full of pancakes, eggs and bacon. Ruby delivered two steaming mugs of hot chocolate topped off with cinnamon. And for the first time, Emma actually talked to me. We talked about life, and joked around about the dwarves. It wasn't some stale, fake conversation she has with strangers. She talked to me like I was her father and friend. She talked to me as if I was someone she trusted. There was a glint of happiness in her eye that I have never seen before.
When we were finished with breakfast we took a stroll around town. She pointed out the first place she learned to ride a bike, and then where she fell off it five seconds later. She told me how when she was younger she would skip school and hide in the library reading books all day long. This was the most I've ever heard Emma speak before. I tried not to interrupt her and just listen. When we got to the station I checked in with some of the new recruits. It was making out to be a very slow day.
The first stop was at the mines to see the progress the dwarves have made. While they were on their way to finding enough diamonds to get Blue started with some fairy dust, they still had some work to do. Leroy gave me a list of tools and resources they'll need to finish. I turn around to see Emma amongst the other dwarves hacking away at the mine. She had a smile on her face. It is a smile that will forever be etched in my memory, because she reminded me so much of her mother.
"And you do this every day?" She asked Dopey before she handed back the pick-axe.
"Every day! It's what we do!" He answered happily.
The next stop on our rounds was the docks. Yesterday I had received a call about a breaking-and-entering. One of my deputies stopped by yesterday and gathered evidence. Today I was going to talk with the owner of the building. Just as we were getting out a call came over the radio. An emergency vehicle was requested right on the town limits. There was someone crossing the town line.
"Buckle up." I said to Emma.
I whipped the car around and raced off towards the town line with my lights blazing. We made it there with a record time. Emma tried to unbuckle her seat belt, but I stopped her.
"Stay here."
"Come on! I could help!"
"No, Emma. Stay here. I'm not kidding."
The first thing I did when I stepped out of the car was load my gun and arm myself. A small group of men were standing by the town's line. I approached the first man who was definitely panicking.
"Thank God you're here! We have a serious problem."
"What?" I asked, having my gun pointed and ready for fire.
"Look…"
I followed his finger to a small bird walking around, pecking his beak into the ground. When I realized he was pointing at this very small, sweet bird I put my gun back in its holster and took a very deep breath. For some reason, my gut was telling me that I would get here and find Cora or Regina.
"A bird? You called 911 for a bird."
"Not just any bird! Look at it! This bird can cross from world to world. See? It's crossing the town line, and then going back!"
The bird was moving freely with no repercussions of this supposed "strong" curse. I knelt down and observed its motions. Something was strange about this bird, but nothing to be alarmed about.
"Call Mother Superior and have her come strengthen the curse. It's definitely weakened. We need to make sure not even birds can cross the line. Stay here and continue watching. Next time only call the police when it's something bit more dangerous than a bird trying to cross the line, okay?"
I turned on my heel and headed towards the car to see Emma sitting on the hood. She was watching us closely.
"I thought I asked you to sit in the car?" I said warningly.
"It got hot in there." She said as she followed me into the car. "What was up with the bird?"
"Just some bored people trying to find excitement. It's nothing Blue won't be able to fix."
Halfway through our day and we have only done a few stops. As a Sheriff I've been struggling to get a lot accomplished today, but as a father I feel like I've taken a real victory here. Both of us were beginning to get hungry so we stopped at a pizza place and picked up some sandwiches for the ride. The afternoon was spent eating, drinking soda, and riding around town. It was the most fun I've had in a while.
It was time for her riding lessons, and that was one thing she didn't want to skip out on today. I walked her into the stables, made sure to check in with the instructor, but as I turned to leave she grabbed my hand.
"Want to ride trails?"
"Uh, sure! Is that okay with your instructor?" I asked.
"Yeah, he doesn't care."
She prepared two horses for us both. I let her lead the way through the trails, seeing as she knew them much better than I. For the first time I got a glimpse of my daughter riding a horse – a vision I've always held dear. In my favorite dreams, I imagined our family riding through the Enchanted Forest and sharing some of my favorite memories. It was a little like de ja vu riding next to her.
"Where did you learn such good form?" I asked impressed.
"Ten years of riding lessons." She scoffed.
Everything was fluorescent green from the recent rain. It was one of the most breathtaking views I've ever seen. If only Snow were here to see and feel this moment. She would have loved every moment of today. It's all we ever want, really. But with Emma keeping Snow at arm's length distance and us still trying to figure out parenthood, it's been hard.
We careened around a trail for what felt like hours, talking about the Enchanted Forest and gossiping about all of the townspeople. Emma was a lot funnier than I ever gave her credit for. She kept me laughing and smiling. An affect her mother had on me as well.
"My favorite place in the Enchanted Forest is on the balcony of our castle. It overlooks the entire kingdom. Especially at night, you can see for miles of just pure land." I said as I imagined the view and that feeling it gave me. "There's nothing like it."
"I agree. I spent hours out there one night just looking out."
For a brief moment I had forgotten that she had spent a real amount of time there. She got to experience some beautiful parts of our family and life together. In fact, she got more than her mother and I ever did.
"What about you? What's your favorite place here in this land?"
It took her a moment to think about it. She and her horse topped in their tracks and she looked at me very clearly. I could see her eyes and the goodness inside of her.
"I'll show you."
She started galloping. I raced behind her. We began turning corners and following another trail. We jumped a river and a small streaming brook before we came to a halt. Emma jumped off her horse and tied him around the closest tree. I followed suit.
High up in the trees was a beautiful tree house. Made of all different kinds of woods and branches it hung wondrously in the largest of trees. Emma stood with her hands on her hips and beaming with pride.
"Is that?"
"My home away from home." She said.
"It's incredible!" I couldn't help but laugh at how intricate the windows and roof were. It looked professionally done. There were steps up the tree, a porch, a small bridge connecting it from room to room, there even seemed to be glass in the windows. Not one thing wasn't thought of.
"Did you build this yourself?"
"With August's help." She sat down on a stump that had the perfect view of the river and of the tree house. "When I got old enough to sneak out of my house, we would meet in the woods. When things got really bad at home I asked August to help me build this as a place to escape to. We spent a whole summer secretly meeting her, stealing some wood from the lumber yard. Both of us needed a place to run to and feel like our own. Every time I come here I get this overwhelming feeling of freedom."
Hearing her talk about her life before us made my heart sink. It hurt me every day that I lost out on so much. It hurt me that the persons he turned to in need was Pinocchio and not her father. I missed out on so much. I missed out on the opportunity to give her a happy, fun, and loving life. I missed out on protecting her. This whole day made me feel like I was finally stepping into the role that I was destined to be since the moment I held her small, pink, beautiful little body in my arms.
"You created something truly remarkable." I put my hand on her knee.
"I like to think so! I would invite you up but only August and I are allowed in. It's kind of an unwritten rule." She smirked at me.
She found a perfect skipping-rock on the ground and got up to test it out on the running river. I found myself one to join her. I even gave her a few pointers. By her third try she was skipping ten at a time. I felt this overwhelming urge and comfort to talk about Mary Margaret.
"Your mother and I used to do this all the time together."
"Oh yeah?" She said as she chucked another rock into the water.
"She's actually really good at it."
"Great." She mumbled.
"I know you're upset with her. No one is saying this whole thing is easy. We get that it's hard for you. We are only trying to do what's best for you. She loves you so much."
She didn't say anything, just listened. Her knuckles passed around a small pebble.
"I've never had a dad before." She said without ever looking at me. "But I have a mother." She dropped the pebble on the ground and stepped on it. "My mother is out there somewhere. She's going to come back. No matter what Mary Margaret does, she can't replace something I already have."
"I understand that. But something you need to remember is you may have two mothers, but she only has one daughter. I know that Mary Margaret isn't trying to replace Regina. She's just being who she always has been and always will be: your mother. We have both waited so long for this and I think that Snow is worried that in the years we missed with you, she lost her chance to be the kind of parent she's always wanted to be for you."
I could see it in her eyes that I had shed a light she's never seen before. It was like a light clicked for her. She looked at me and nodded, and then she bit the side of her lip a little.
"I think we're both a little afraid of that." I added.
Emma looked up at me, smiled and let out a little laugh before nudging me. The message had been sent, and I had successfully given my first dad speech.
Another hour on the stream and sharing a piece of our pasts, we decided to head back. The stables were going to be closing soon and Emma's lesson was over half an hour ago. We raced back. Obviously, Emma being the winner with knowing the trails as well as she did. The entire way home we played a game of "Would You Rather". She had some really hard ones like "be in a thumb war with an ogre or in a pick-axe competition with a dwarf?" That was a lose-lose situation.
I opened the front door for her and we were greeted with Mary Margaret. She was over the oven stirring something delicious. I took our coats and hung them up before greeting Snow with a kiss. Emma stood by the door kicking off her riding boots.
"How was your day?" Snow asked me.
"Great! How was yours?" I stole a carrot from the chopping board.
"Fine…" She smiled softly. "You two have been gone for a while.
"David and I went riding." Emma said as she dusted off dirt from her hands.
"That sounds nice!" Snow tried to look supportive, but I could see the hurt look in her face.
"It was!" Emma started towards the bathroom. "Maybe next time you can come with us."
It took both of us by surprise a little bit. Emma was basically waving a white flag, peeking over the wall, sending flares. For the first time in two weeks Emma looked at her mother without contempt and anger, but understanding. Snow stopped stirring and nodded vigorously.
"I would love that!"
Emma smiled a bit before heading to the bathroom to shower off the smell of the stalls. When the door was shut and it was just us two Snow grabbed and dragged me into the bedroom. She crossed her arms the way she always does when she's upset.
"What's wrong?" I asked.
"The school called. They said Emma didn't come to school today." She was looking at me with an accusatory glare.
"I know I shouldn't have, but you saw how happy she is!"
"I know, David, but Archie told us it's extremely important to get her back to school and her normal life. She needs the consistency right now. We can't be pulling her out of school in only her second week!"
"It was one day. One day I got to be her dad and she got to be a kid. I've laughed like I have never laughed. I learned that she's funny and that she learned to ride a bike when she was eight. I got to see her ride a horse and hear her stories. Snow, it was an amazing day! I know what Archie said, but he's not her father. He doesn't always know what's best for our daughter."
She shuffled her feet and then slowly looked up at me through her big eyes, "She made you laugh?"
"She reminds me so much of you." I wrapped my arms around her whole body and pulled her in close.
"She does have my chin." She buried herself in my chest.
Snow finished making roasted chicken, steamed vegetables and salad. I set the table and Emma poured drinks. The three of us sat around the table and talked. Similar to how we eat dinner every night, but this time Emma actually joined in the conversation. The same Emma I spent all day with was shining through at home and I think Snow was beginning to see why I did what I did. Getting a glimpse of happy Emma and feeling her energy was worth every bad parenting move in the book. All either of us wanted was to see Emma happy. At the end of the night we all fell onto the couch. Emma curled up with a blanket and her book, while Snow and I took the other end of the couch to read the paper together. Snow fell asleep through the personal ads and I wasn't too far behind her. Emma wrapped her blanket around her like a shawl and closed her book.
"Going to bed?" I whispered.
"Yeah." She stopped and turned around. "Do you think tomorrow we could change our rooms? You guys can have the downstairs bedroom again and I could have the upstairs?"
"I don't see why not." I whispered back.
"Okay, cool. You should get her to bed." She said softly, looking at her sleeping mother.
"Good night, sweetheart." I said after her.
"Goodnight, Dad." She answered.
Just like that my heart squeezed itself to a small ball and did a million flips in my chest. I thought it might burst through. It was simple and easy, just the way I always imagined it would sound like.