"We not going to talk about it?"
"Nope."
"Dean, come on. I had no idea you were with someone" Sam turned his puppy dog eyes to his brother. "It's a big deal. Can I at least ask how you met? She doesn't exactly come across as the type of chick in the business." Sam shrugged at his older brother, who looked well and truly over it.
"That's not my fault! You were hell bent on leaving Dad and me and you stopped noticing shit around you months before you actually left." Dean stood up and marched over to the bar fridge. He wished there was something stronger available but in this dingy little motel there was no mini bar and he had yet to feel the need to buy whiskey…until now.

"Dean…" Sam was about to launch into his tired spiel of why he left when his brother held up his hand.
"If I tell you, will you drop it?" Dean asked, sighing in frustration and unscrewing a beer. They had been at the same hotel, scouring for the next cases for the last few days. Granted, they had both been distracted, him with Callie and Sam with…well judging by the dark circles under his eyes…insomnia. But Dean felt that maybe the only way to actually get anything done was to actually give in to his brother excessive nagging.
"Yes." Sam nodded. "I just want to know how you met."
"Sure…after that it will be why we decided to get a house together." Dean rolled his eyes. "Alright little brother. You asked. " he rubbed his face and then took a massive swing of his beer. Sam suddenly felt guilty. Maybe it wasn't a good idea to get these memories out in the open. It obviously seemed to upset his brother.

"Dean…" he started.
"No Sammy you wanted to hear it and if it means getting you off my damn back about the whole thing and let us focus on finding another case than what the hell? I am down for it." Dean sighed and slouched in his chair.

"I met her about 6 years ago at a bar of all places…."

Flashback:

He had been sitting at a bar slowly sipping a beer. It was the first time in a long time that he had had the freedom. His dad was off on recon and took his little brother with him to introduce him to a contact that he believed would come in handy. Dean was left behind to scout the area and shack up in a hotel room. He took full advantage of that by heading to the first bar he could see. A shock of red caught the corner of his eye and he turned on his stool to get a look. And boy was it a look. A gorgeous woman stood across the room dressing in a bright red halter top and tight low cut jeans. Her long brown hair flicked out as she flicked it over her shoulder and allowed him to get a full view of her face. She was gorgeous. Her skin was flawless and her teeth flashed bright white whenever she spoke. She was waving her hands around as she told an obviously intriguing story to the three other females around her. She turned and caught him staring at her. She smiled a smile that made her nose scrunch up and he managed to finally see her eyes. They were crystal blue, sparklingly…

"Okay dude Jesus. I get it. I know what she looks like remember? I get it. You were hot for her." Sam interrupted groaned. Dean shook his head.
"No Sammy you don't get it. It was the first time in like…forever that a chick in a bar had caught my eye like that."
"What? As if. You pick up all the time from bars!" Sam snorted.
"And as soon as I walk into a bar I know exactly which one I am taking home. Callie…I felt something man. I felt something deep down the second she looked at me. It's never happened to me before." Dean shrugged at Sam who was looking stunned. "Can I continue now?"
Sam nodded unable to form words.

Dean smirked and tilted his beer at her. She raised an eyebrow at him and turned back to her friends. He smiled to himself. She was going to be a challenge. He got off the bar stool and walked over. Her friends started giggling the minute they realised that he was heading towards them.
"Excuse me miss." He said, making his voice huskier. She turned around and leant against the table.
"Can I help you?" She asked. Her voice was soft and musical with a hint of mischief.
"I'm Dean." He held out his hand.
"Nice to meet you." She shook his hand and turned back to her friends. He grinned.
"And your name?" He asked. She turned around again and tilted her head at him.
"And why would I tell you that?" She asked.
"Well from where I come from its polite to give a name once you get a name."
"Oh sweetheart you don't want the name I wanna give you." She smirked back before turning back to her friends and standing. Oh she was a challenge. This was going to be fun.

"Excuse me please." She said as he blocked her way.
"I'd happily move… if you pay the toll." He threw her his panty dropping smile. She shook her head, a hint of a smile playing at the corner of her mouth. She pulled out a five dollar note from her back pocket and carefully put it in his top pocket. She was so close that he could smell her perfume. Vanilla with a hint of something else that made that made him want more.
"There." She said looking straight up at him. "Toll paid in full." She grinned at him and he let her move pass. He chuckled. This had to be the one girl who didn't throw herself at him. He turned to watch her go and caught her looking back at him as her friends gathered their coats. He winked at her and watched a small blush rise across her nose. To his surprise instead of backing down and giggling like most other women she winked back before walking out of the bar.

He was torn. Did he follow her or leave it? He walked over to the bar and sat down, ordering another beer. He'd wait. She seemed like the kind of girl to wait for.

"That's it? You saw her in a bar, flirted with each other and then let her go?" Sam asked confused.
"The first time. The second time she avoided me completely. The third time I interrupted what I think was a date although she did look relieved I made it end earlier." Dean took a sip of his beer.
"How many nights did this go on for?" Sam asked smiling slightly. It wasn't like his brother to chase a girl at all. Ever since Sam could remember, girls just threw themselves at Dean and he just went with it, never really caring who they were or what they wanted.

"Five nights over about a week and a half. You and dad ended up on that vampire hunt that took forever so I had nothing better to do than keep trying with her." Dean grinned.
"And on the sixth night?"

"So am I ever going to get your name?" he asked sliding up next to her at the bar. He admitted that this was fun. He hadn't gotten to know her name but he had found out a few things. She liked Bruce Springsteen and the classics (she always put them on whenever she was at the juke box), she drunk girly drinks with umbrellas but always took forever to drink them, she smelt like vanilla and wild flowers with a hint of something that he still couldn't pin point and she was incredibly sarcastic and cheeky. He was almost sure he had developed a major crush on this chick already and still didn't know her name.

She jumped and turned to him, her blue eyes wide.
"Oh God you just don't give up do you?" she asked with a smile.
"Never on a pretty lady." He grinned. She giggled and shook her head.
"You are all kinds of smooth mister."
"And you are all kinds of gorgeous, sugar." He rebutted loving the small blush that bloomed over her nose. He had taken to calling her sugar and it seemed to be one of few things that made her blush. Something that he loved seeing.

"Tell you what; I'll make you a deal." She turned to face him completely. She was wearing a blue top that showed a teasing amount of cleavage and tight black jeans tucked into grey boots.
"You beat me in darts, one round, and I will tell you anything your flirty little heart wants to know." He grinned and took a sip of his beer. This would be too easy. With his aim, he was a sure in.
"And if I lose?" He asked even though he knew would never happen.
"Then you stop asking questions." She held out her hand. "Deal?"

He shook it and admired the soft callouses on her palm. Not a princess. He added that to the list of things he already knew. "Deal."

They picked up their drinks, (he was a little shocked to see her drinking a beer) and made their way to the dart board.
"Gotta confess sugar, I got a hell of an aim." Dean couldn't help but brag.
"Let's hope that will be enough." She said passing him the yellow darts. "You first."
"Ladies first." He swept out hand towards the board. She shrugged and threw the first dart. It hit under the twenty marks, just above the treble.
"Not bad. Not the good either." Dean said throwing a dart and landing on the eighteen tremble. He turned and wiggled his eyebrows at her.
"Not even going to go easy on me?" She asked softly. He shook his head.
"Nah. I really wanna win." She shrugged.

"Well okay then." She stepped up and threw her second dart. It hit smack bang in the middle of the twenty tremble.
"Lucky shot." He said raising his eyebrows. He lined up his second shot and threw to wide. It hit the single one mark. He frowned.
"Oh too bad." She lined up and threw her last shot and it hit right next to her last shot in the twenty tremble. She turned and smiled at him.
"Still sure you are going to win?"
"You are really good at this game aren't you?" He asked realising now that it had been too easy for a reason. She laughed.
"Go on. Last shot."
He threw his last dart knowing true well that she had won and managed to hit the outer bullseye. He sighed.
"Looks like I'll never get to know your name huh sugar?" He asked, trying to hide the feeling of disappointment. A bet was a bet he wasn't allowed to go near her now. He grabbed his beer and reached out for her hand, bringing it to his mouth and kissing it softly.

"I will know honour the agreement and leave you alone." He tipped his beer and began to make his way back to the bar. A small hand wrapped itself around his wrist and tugged.
"I never said to leave me alone…just to stop asking questions. Besides, best two out of three?" She bit her lip. How could he say no?
"You are going down now." He said. She snorted.
"As if cowboy. I can kick your ass all night long."
"You are on sugar."

"That was seriously how you guys met?" Sam asked smiling at his brother. Dean nodded.
"That was what I liked to call our first date. She claims that it was actually the night after that night when we went out for dinner that was our actual first date."
"But did you get her name that night at the bar?"
Dean smiled. "Yeah I did."

"I cannot believe you conned me!" Dean exclaimed. They had played darts until closing time and were now standing out the front of the bar.
"You never asked if I could actually play."
"I seriously don't think I have ever seen a girl with as good of a aim as you! You kicked my ass and won 15/16 games!" He was in shock. She had won every game except for one but he was pretty sure that her aim was off due to some dickhead bumping into her as she threw it. That was interesting. Said dickhead had then turned around and tried to cop a feel of her ass and before he had a chance to step in, she had thrown a beautiful punch and almost knocked the guy out cold.
"And that punch was just the icing on the best damn cake ever." He grinned widely at her as she laughed.
"Yeah well not only did he attempt to grab a piece but he almost made me lose. Unforgiveable!" she threw her hands up in the air in mock horror.
"You are something else sugar." Yep. He had a crush.
"Callie." She said softly. He raised an eyebrow.
"What?"
"My name is Callie." She held out her hand. He laughed and shook it.
"Nice to meet you Callie. I am Dean. " They stood there for a few seconds just shaking hands and staring at each other. What he wouldn't give to bend down and close the small gap between them.
"Wanna go for a walk? The night is still kinda young?" Callie asked softly.
"Don't want this night to end?" He asked cheekily. He was pleasantly surprised when she shook her head.
"Not quite yet." He turned his hand until their fingers were entwined and smiled down at her.
"Then lead the way sugar."

"That sounds really sweet Dean." Sam said after his brother went silent for a few minutes.
"I wish you could have met her Sammy. Back when she was my Callie. She was amazing. Even Dad liked her."
"Dad met her?" Sam couldn't believe what he was hearing.
"Oh yeah. It was a few weeks after you left, we were hunting a shifter down near her and she all but demanded I bring dad for dinner at her place. So I did."
"Was it awkward?"
"Oh shit yes it was. Dad just sat there all grumpy like. She made his favourite roast and an apple pie for dessert and then just casually asks over dinner how the hunt for the shifter was going. I thought Dad was going die." They laughed, both picturing John's expressions.
"How did she know?" Sam asked wiping his eyes from laughing to hard.
"She was picking up on the weird behaviours and looked it up in one of her old books. She was obsessed with the supernatural. That's why she has a degree in Demonology and Myths. She wanted to help me as much as possible as well as put her weird obsession to good use. Tell you what Sammy she was an amazing researcher. " Dean sighed and rubbed his face again. It was just after eleven at night and he was wreaked.

"She sounds amazing Dean. Really." Sam said softly.
"She was. Strange thing is she's still Callie you know?" Dean looked at his brother. "She was still the same stubborn, head strong, sarcastic Callie that was mine. The only difference is she has no idea who I am or anything about what we had. And it almost killed me." Sam sat still and quiet, not wanting to interrupt his brother. It was a very rare time that Dean actually shared his inner feelings and Sam didn't want to let this chance go. He had a feeling that Dean needed to get it out anyway. It had obviously been eating away at him for a while.

"She made it all worth it. Dad always said no attachments, you'll only get them killed but goddamn it felt good coming back to a home every chance I got. Coming home to a woman who knew what I did and didn't care as long as I was safe. She was so stubborn. Shed wait up all night if I mentioned I was coming home. The first thing I'd smell opening that door would be sugar and vanilla. Oh Sammy, the things that woman could make in her kitchen. Her pie was the best damn thing I have ever eaten in my life. I always told her she should have opened a bakery somewhere but she didn't want to. She said her sweet things were a reward for coming home alive and safe. She was studying to be a nurse when we met. She would sit me down and clean me u, scolding me the whole time on how stupid I was for letting whatever we were hunting get me. She always threatened to keep the pie and baked goods away so I would be quicker. And then she'd hug me like it was the last damn time she'd me and it would make everything better because I was home with her." Dean stopped and cleared his throat. Sam was shocked to see that Dean's eyes were shiny. His brother looked about ready to cry.

"I was told she was dead when I went back to find her after I left." He said suddenly.
"What?" Sam asked, leaning forward. Clearly his brother wasn't finished.
"I went back to visit her. Apologise for hurting her when I left. Our house was empty and her neighbour who hated my guts told me she was attacked by an animal and died."
"But why did she think she was dead?"
"She thought I was talking about the baby." Sam choked on his beer and started coughing violently. Dean got up and whacked him a few times on the back.

"Baby?" Sam wheezed out trying to catch his breath. Dean nodded.
"Yeah. Apparently she was pregnant when I left her."
"Yours?"
"Yeah. She was going to tell me that day. But I packed up and left and broke her heart." He stood up over Sam.
"Guess that's one good thing about her losing her memory. She doesn't remember me leaving her." He shook his head. "We done?" Sam nodded unable to think of any other response. Not only had his brother completely opened up and shared his feelings for the first time in…forever but he also let Sam in about how serious their relationship was. He felt so bad for his older brother. Sam had Jess. He knew how hard losing her was. He still had nightmares about it…still felt the ache of losing her. But to think your girlfriend was dead only to find out she was alive but didn't remember you and then to meet up with her face to face and have to act like a stranger? Sam shook his head as the bathroom door slammed shut behind Dean. Sam couldn't imagine the pain and ache Dean was going through. He made a decision right then and there that he would drop the subject of Callie and leave it alone. He didn't want to cause his brother anymore pain. And hey, Dean had opened up and answered his question and even gave him a lot more than what he asked. That would be enough. HE could hear the shower running.
He would stop pestering Dean and just …find a new case. Sam changed out of his jeans and boots and crawled under the covers. If he pretended to be asleep when Dean came out, they wouldn't have to be awkward about it. They could just get up in the morning and pretend it never happened. That would be best. That would be what Dean would want. Just to move on.
Sam just wished that Dean could move on as well.

In the shower, unknown to the youngest Winchester, Dean was curled up on the shower floor letting the spray hit him from above. His hands were white knuckled in his hair and fore head rested on his curled up knees. He took a deep shuddering breath and sniffed. He didn't know if the water running off his face was from the shower or tears but he didn't care talking about the good times hurt more than he thought it would. He didn't mean to explain so much to Sam. He was the older brother, the strong one. He wasn't supposed to show emotions like that. He had to admit though, even if it was just to himself, it felt good to finally get it off his chest. He sniffled again and took another deep breath. God he missed his Callie. He missed the warmth, her scent, and her head on his chest at night. The way she'd bit her lip while sowing up his cuts or in deep thought. He missed having somewhere safe and warm to go to when things got tough and he missed having someone who just got him. Who he didn't have to be strong for or hide things from like he had to with Sammy. With Callie he was free. And because of his selfishness that freedom was gone forever. There was no coming back from that. No second chance.. No happy ending waiting for him. What he had and held on to so dearly was gone forever and it was all his fault. He lowered his head back onto his knee and sobbed again.

All he wanted was to go home where he belonged. But home didn't exist for him anymore.

Authors note: Yeah I know this is another filler but it wouldn't leave me alone and I wanted to show some soft side Dean.
Next chapter should be up on Sunday maybe earlier if I get it done as a sorry for taking my sweet ass time. In my defence I did have end of semester uni exams and a stupid amount of assignments and then I went into hospital and had surgery so….I am still sorry.

Anyway, as usual don't forget to leave a review and let me know what you think.

Wicked x