WARNINGS: Graphic sexual scenes (including non-con/rape), Sexuality, Implicit drug use, Explicit drug use, Alcohol abuse, Underage drinking, Self-harm, Depression, Anorexia, Language
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Harry Potter. Any canon characters or situations are property of J.K. Rowling and her affiliates. I do not make money from writing or posting this story, and do it only for my own and my readers' enjoyment.
Chapter 6
August 21 – August 25
Draco stayed with Aria and Raine through the entire first night and into Raine's first morning. They were left completely undisturbed all night, with the exception of Raine waking to be fed and a routine visit from the nurse.
Emily slipped into the room, expertly silent. "I expected her to be asleep already," she said in a whisper. He nodded in agreement, looking up at the beautiful girl sleeping on the bed next to him. He sighed softly and ran a hand gently through her silky, strawberry-blonde hair. Smiling, Emily checked the baby's vitals over before sitting in a chair by Draco. "So, you're her... boyfriend?" she asked softly.
The guy chuckled and met the nurse's curious blue eyes. "I'm not so sure about that," he whispered in response.
Emily smiled a bit. "So are you the baby's father, then?" she inquired, keeping her voice down.
Draco let out a laugh. "What makes you assume that?" he asked. His eyes twinkled, but there was a bit of sadness behind them.
She lifted one shoulder, expression remaining confident, but polite. "It's just a general... vibe," she replied. "You look like you love that baby so much. And Aria, too. I could see it in your eyes when you looked at her just then. I guess the baby resembles you a bit, as well. Her hair is so light and fine, but so is Aria's... The same goes for how angular her face is; Could just be another similar trait between the two of you. It could just be me jumping to conclusions, but you're different enough and how you act around each other proves that you definitely are not siblings..." she ended lamely. The whole time, Draco was looking back and forth between Aria and Lorraine as he assessed her notes.
"I hope she has Aria's eyes," he murmured, smiling faintly. He looked back at Emily again, his grey ones lighting up.
"I like your eyes, too," the nurse complimented with a gentle smile.
He chuckled and shook his head. "She wouldn't have my eyes," he whispered vaguely. Aria tossed around on the bed for a moment, until Draco reached over to calm her. He placed a soothing hand on her cheek, rubbing along her cheekbone with his thumb. She relaxed visibly and rolled so she was on her side, facing him. Both the visitors smiled at this.
Emily looked back at Draco after Aria placed her hand in his. "You never did explain about your relationship status," she reminded him. It was obvious that she was curious, but trying not to offend.
He nodded, obliging. "Well, we go to school together," he started. "And her friends and I never quite got along, until less than year ago. Even then, it's more for her benefit. But I've honestly liked her since third year; We're all starting sixth year this fall," he added for some perspective. She nodded, her smile a little brighter. "And we've gotten to be good friends since then." He took a deep breath, wondering if he should mention the next part. Not really caring anymore, he shrugged (more to himself) and continued. "Before she fell asleep, I kissed her," he admitted. "And I'm pretty sure she kissed me back, so I'm hoping she feels the same way."
Emily giggled, looking at Aria's body as it rose and fell slowly with her deep breaths. "I'm sure the feeling is mutual," Emily said encouragingly, then stood to leave them in peace. Draco thought he might have seen something green zip out from under the bed and out the door from the corner of his eye, but figured his mind was playing tricks on him from all the excitement of the day.
Draco slept in the armchair by Aria's bed, the baby constantly either held by himself or her mother as they slept. Whenever Raine woke to be fed or changed, Aria was roused by just the sound of her shifting and soft whimpers; Draco never even noticed that, every few hours, the females were semi-awake and the older of the two hid her half-naked form under a blanket so she could nurse the baby back to sleep.
Once the two Slytherins were up for the morning, around seven-thirty, and had taken turns freshening up in the adjacent bathroom, a house-elf appeared to offer them breakfast menus. Aria requested a bowl of fruit- extra strawberries- and some toast. Draco chose to pass up one of his favorite dishes of all time, Eggs Benedict, in favor of blueberry waffles and some sausage, asking for some bacon to share as well.
They laid around, just enjoying each other's company and marveling over the new little life that had joined them the previous night. Aria smiled brightly as she looked down at her daughter. This time though, she spent more time with her inspection. The previous night, it was dark and she was far too exhausted to admire the finer details. She lightly played with Raine's feathery, almost see-through-blonde hair. Her heart fluttered when the baby's lip pushed out in a slight pout as she slumbered. "Awww," Aria cooed, giggling, and she felt Draco chuckling against her as well. Raine's skin was the same creamy pale color as her mother's. Unable to help herself, the mother placed a gentle finger on her baby's forehead, lightly tracing the lines of her face: down her nose, to the apples of her cheeks, around her jaw, and stopping when she brushed over her soft pink lips, which were still set in a pout.
Aria shifted the still-sleeping baby so her cheek was resting on her mother's collarbone. She looked up at Draco, who was smiling gently down at her. She leaned back against the pillows and sighed. He followed suit, pulling his arm from behind her and running his fingers through her soft but messy hair. She bit her lip as she smiled, making her lips turn up crookedly. It made his stomach flip over with joy. They held each other's gaze for a long, silent while.
Draco was the first one to break it. "Aria...?" he whispered, making it sound a bit like a question. Butterflies filled her stomach, loving hearing her name on his silky voice, and the intensity of his tone made goosebumps rise on her arms.
"Yeah?" she managed to reply.
"I–," he started, but shook his head, looking a bit sad. "Never mind," he mumbled, looking away.
The girl next to him frowned a bit in disappointment. "Draco, what is it?" she asked, concern laced in her voice.
Her saying his name made tingles run up his spine as well. "I just... I think I love you," he admitted, saying it a bit fast.
She looked at him, faking confusion even though she heard him perfectly well. "What was that?" she asked a bit breathlessly, just wanting to hear him say it again. She tried not to reveal how her stomach flipped at his words.
He took a breath, meeting her eyes. "I love you, Aria," he murmured, smiling weakly. The organ in Aria's chest was pumping at double speed, as if trying to break out of her ribcage. Draco held his breath in nervous anticipation for her response.
"You love me?" she asked, her tone hinting at hope.
He nodded. "I wasn't so sure about it before, but now I am. Honestly, I've fancied you since third year... But now that I've got to know you over the past months, I can't help it. I've seen you at your absolute worst, and I can honestly say that you've always been the most beautiful girl to me," he reiterated his words from the previous night. He paused to take a shaky breath, but continued a few seconds later.
Now that the words had started, he couldn't stop them. "When you walk into a room, my attention snaps immediately to you. I love how perfectly you fit in my arms when you hug me. Speaking of which, you give the best hugs ever. And when we're together, whether it's eating supper, watching the sun set by the lake, looking at your amazing daughter, or doing nothing at all, I'm happier than I'd be doing anything else, than I've ever been.
"I love your passion, your smarts, how much of a smart-ass you can be, your strength, and I even love your weaknesses. I love your blonde moments, the times you talk circles around me, the times you fly circles around me... I love how you bite your lip and I love when your smile is lopsided.
"I love how I was the first one you told at Christmastime when you left Avery. I love how I was the one to spend the night when you gave birth. I love that you're a Pureblood only because I know I'll have no trouble with my family being prejudiced towards you for it. That's the only reason I care; Otherwise, I'd still feel the same way.
"And I love how I'm the only person in the world who knows what you named your daughter.
"You make me laugh constantly. You actually made me cry once, when we had that fight in January. I'm sad when I'm not around you, and I can't stop thinking about you when we do have to separate. You frustrate me to no end, with your witty retorts and the fact that I don't know what our thinking and have to ask all the time. You scare me when you fall up the stairs, or when you don't answer my questions right away, or when you cover up your emotions so well. I feel horrible when I see your face fall in disappointment. I feel like the world's biggest fuck up whenever I'm the reason.
"I love to walk around Diagon Alley, the castle, Hogsmeade, or anywhere else publicly with you, because I love to see how everyone else is staring with envy. I really hate how George Weasley knows more about you than I do. I feel like using an Unforgivable on anyone who makes you sad, angry, or upset. You deserve to be happy all the time... I spent the whole summer until Molly contacted me yesterday just wondering what you were doing, wanting to be with you, missing your smile.
"Before I met you, I was always a rude, lying, arrogant bastard. As you know, my father is far from the perfect parent, and is never satisfied with what I do. But now I have you and you encourage me. I feel proud of what I do when I know that you approve of it. Instead of being all mopey and depressed, you light up my day and make me look forward to something other than taking my anger out on some second-years. And I trust you more than myself. I trust you with my possessions, my life, my heart, and I'd give you my soul if you wanted it," he finished passionately.
Through his rant, he had reached over to take one of her delicate hands in his own. Aria could see the honesty in his eyes, and his voice dripped sincerity. She could feel tears stinging her eyes and didn't stop them when they started to overflow on her cheeks. She didn't know how to react. She really liked him, probably loved him. But she didn't think she could trust anyone with her heart anymore... Not after how Avery treated her; At the time, Aria truly believed she was in love with the bastard. She took a deep breath and blinked away the rest of her tears, gently pulling her hand out of his to wipe her cheeks.
"Thank you Draco," she whispered, kissing his cheek lightly. He smiled a little, remaining silent in his anxiousness. "But now it's my turn," she added, her voice stronger. He nodded dutifully, his eyes giving away how eager he was, how hopeful. After a second to collect her thoughts a bit, she started talking.
"Draco, you are one of my best friends, and I would hate to lose you. You were right before: you are the one who's seen me at my absolute worst. That day almost eight months ago, I was completely shattered, broken in every way imaginable. My heart was broken, I had bruises all over me, I was near being institutionalized for depression and Anorexia, and I had self-inflicted cuts up and down my arms. I had been drugged and raped by the person I thought loved me, but had used me and played me. But I guess it's my own fault for thinking he'd change... There's no words to express how grateful I am to you for coming into my life. You held me as I sobbed about my pathetic life, listening as if I were your blood, someone who actually mattered to you and not a near-stranger- someone who was best friends with your least favorite person in the world. I'm no longer shredded and weak like I was, and I owe it all to you, for being there to slowly put my pieces back together. You kept me alive when I was so ready to end my own life...
"I'd rather spend time with you than anyone in the world, except my baby now that she's not like a package-deal anymore. I love how you're always willing to hold me when I ask you to, even when I screamed at you ten seconds before. I love how you are comfortable with silence, and aren't afraid to tell me if I'm being bitchy or to hold me back when I'm about to hex someone to bits. I love how you didn't get those eggs this morning (even though you love them) because you know I hate them. I love how you accept me for who I am and never ask for more.
"I love how you already love my daughter, and still love me even though I have a baby now. You are so dedicated, honest, and accepting that it hurts. I wish I could be better for you. I hate how I fall back into my old habits every once in a while, like when I have a really bad wave of depression, or I just can't make myself eat, or I think I can stop at just one cut. And I hate how worried you get over someone like me. I hate the look in your eyes when I say something stupid, usually when I'm in a pissy mood.
"I love your laugh, though. And hearing you say my name makes me feel like I'm going to explode from happiness. I love how safe I feel when you have your arms around me. I love how comfortable I am around you, and how sweet you are to me. We can be completely enraged by each other, and you still hold the door open for me. Or I'll scream at you until I can't talk anymore, but you've never once raised your voice to me.
"I love how I can get lost in your eyes, and you just let me. I love how fucking adorable you are when you smile. I love how you stopped gelling your hair because I told you that you look better without it. I love that you're taller than me. I hate how I have to go on my toes to whisper in your ear, though. I love how you're so surprised that my skin is colder than yours. And I can't help but love how hot you are without a shirt on.
"I love when you play with my hair. I hate it when you stop. I love the way you look at Raine, but I hate that you prefer to look at me when she's just so damn gorgeous. I love how you're not afraid to cuddle with me in front of your friends but I hate that Pansy gets to have all her classes with you when we only have a few together. I love how you stayed overnight with me. I hate that we can't spend the night together anywhere else, though. I love how my skin tingles when you touch me. I hate how my skin still prickles a bit afterward, though, because it feels like it's teasing me. I loved every second of the two times we kissed. And I hate that we aren't kissing now.
"I hate how I treat you sometimes. I hate that we didn't become friends sooner. I hate how your dad treats you. I hate that I can't spend every second with you. I hate the looks the other Slytherins give you when they see us together sometimes. I hate when I have to go to sleep, because dreaming about you isn't as good as actually being with you. I hate how I wake up back in my own bed or covered up on the couch in the common room when I actually do fall asleep in your arms.
"I hate how you aren't Raine's biological dad. I hate how you love me so much, because I'm not worth it. I hate how Avery ruined me. I hate how it's his fault I can't stand people touching me most of the time... Especially when it comes to you. And I hate how I'm afraid to love you as much as I know I can because I don't want to get hurt again."
She bit her lip hard, waiting for his reaction. Draco's expression was thoughtful for a second before his eyes twinkled suddenly. "Aria, can I see her for a second?" he asked in a whisper. Aria nodded and instantly handed over the bundled baby. He smiled faintly and kissed the baby's nose before setting her down in the little bassinet again. Turning his attention back to the girl in front of him, he placed a hand on her cheek. Her breath caught in her chest and she stared into the swirling grey depths of his eyes.
Draco leaned in slowly, brushing his lips lightly against hers. She gasped softly, resting her icy hand on his neck. A small smile flickered across her face when she felt the goosebumps her touch caused rise on his smooth skin. He pecked her lips gently again, making chills run up her spine. He scooted a bit closer and kissed her again, leaving his lips on hers for a few seconds this time. She sighed happily, loving how he was so easy with her. His kisses were sweet and genuine and oh-so patient, an equal exchange of give-and-take between the two of them. They were so unlike the rough, rushed, dominating kisses Avery had given her.
Finally, their lips came together again, the sensation thrilling and making them both feel whole, like they were molded exactly for each other. They moved together in sync. After about ten minutes, they broke apart. Aria was a little short on breath. Draco's eyes never left hers. "I could never leave you," he whispered. "You're worth more to me than all the girls in the universe put together. As long as I know you want to love me, I'll be here. You know I'm not a very patient guy, but I'll wait as long as I need to if it means I get you as a reward. I love you Aria."
She curled up against him, nuzzling into the crook of his neck. She closed her eyes and took in his amazing scent. "Someday, Draco, I'll be strong enough," she murmured against his shoulder. His arms snaked around her and he kissed her hair.
The couple stayed cuddled up together, just talking quietly in the early morning light. Around eight, when visiting hours were to start, Draco started to leave, promising over and over that he'd be back as soon as he took a proper shower and checked in with his mother. With him being out all night, Draco knew she'd worry for him. Luckily, Molly, Hermione, and Ginny arrived as the first bunch of visitors, offering a distraction for Aria while he was out.
They squealed excitedly upon spotting the baby in her arms, only Hermione catching the slight flush on Aria's cheeks after Draco smirked from the door and sent a wink her way. The brunette witch kept it to herself though, filing it away for later. Aria groaned as her head started to throb at the Weasley women's banshee-like noises. "I didn't think human vocal chords were able to reach that high of a frequency," she muttered. The two females murmured their apologies but continued to ooh and ahh over the baby.
"So what did you decide to name her?" Ginny asked excitedly.
She announced to the women what she decided on, pleased that they all found it well-suited. When they pressed for details about how she made her final decision, and why she chose to give two middle names, Aria brushed their inquiries aside and assured them that she'd announce it to everyone together once they were able to return to Grimmauld Place. Appeased, each of the females got a turn holding Lorraine, but Aria made them hand her back after a short time.
The women stayed a bit longer to chat but then Harry and Ron wanted to come see her, and Draco joined them after his return from Malfoy Manor. According to the guys, the whole clan that was staying at the Burrow was in the waiting room or in Diagon Alley getting supplies for school, which would be starting in less than a month. The reminder brought to mind her worries about how her situation would allow her to return to school. When she vocalized her insecurity, the males were extremely supportive and encouraging, as always.
"Don't worry, darling," Draco said from beside her. Harry and Ron both nodded after looking between the two suspiciously.
"You know that Dumbledore will figure it out. He's a compassionate old codger," Harry joked, trying to distract himself from the tension and awkwardness that came from Malfoy calling his sister "darling". She smiled her thanks to the three guys surrounding her and relaxed.
Harry and Ron were both very wary about holding Raine, moreso Ron than Harry, but Aria made sure both had at least tried before they left. To their own surprise, both boys enjoyed it thoroughly and were loathe to give her back once the time came.
Ron gathered up the courage to ask what he felt was a stupid question, glancing warily at Draco before vocalizing it. "Um, Aria?" he asked, blushing as he held the baby.
"Yeah Ron?" she replied lightly.
"How did she, you know, fit in your stomach? I mean she's tiny and everything, but your stomach barely grew..."
She giggled until she had tears running down her cheeks and her stomach cramped up. "Ron, that's a good question, I promise. I guess I just wasn't expecting it," she assured him when he looked even more flustered and she patted his arm affectionately. "When you're pregnant, everything inside you shifts to make room for the baby and to keep it safe. Plus, she was born early so I probably would've gotten much bigger if she had that extra five to eight or even ten weeks." He held her gaze for a second longer, as if expecting her to say more, but then nodded and returned his eyes to the baby.
The four teenagers chatted a bit longer but then Fred and George came to kick the younger boys out. It was nice of her friends to work out a system of groups, Aria mused. She would be so overwhelmed and exhausted if all of them came to visit at once. Two or three at a time was perfect. Plus, she could keep track of who actually held the baby with fewer people. She was relieved when she noticed Arthur standing behind the twins. She knew Draco was already jealous of George, and it was obvious now that George was interested in Aria, since it had been pointed out to her by Draco earlier.
The older boys took up the two chairs the room allotted them and Arthur stood behind them, smiling kindly. Each of the Weasley men held Lorraine, but Fred didn't enjoy it at all, which was probably due to the fact that she had started crying after only a few minutes and he didn't know what to do.
"George, just give her the pacifier," Aria instructed calmly, pointing to the bassinet. She knew it was controversial to give a breastfed baby a pacifier within the first few weeks, in case she got them confused and started refusing the food source. But after the extremely successful trials they had earlier, she wasn't worried that introducing it once in a while would cause any harm. Plus, it wasn't like she could just whip her boob out in front of them now to offer to comfort-nurse.
"What the bloody hell is that?" he asked, looking at her like she just insisted he cut off his left arm.
"The little white plastic thing there? Goodness gracious..." she muttered, slipping out of the bed. Thanks to magical medicine, Aria was fully healed overnight and all but her hormones were back to normal. The pacifier was retrieved and she showed the ignorant twins that it went in her mouth. The cries instantly ceased and Fred looked frazzled.
"Here, George. You have a go," he said, quickly offering the baby.
His twin grinned and took her happily. "See, I'm all set: she's got the paci-flingy now, so I know she can't cry," he joked, cradling the baby in his arms.
"Don't be so sure of that," Arthur muttered from behind them. He and Aria exchanged a knowing look. They had similar devices in the magical world, but were shaped differently and were charmed to grow and change form to adjust to the baby's mouth size and when they grew teeth. For now, Aria just used a standard Muggle one.
After the senior Weasley took a turn with the baby, the three gingers took their leave, going to get a bit of lunch at the Leaky Cauldron with everyone else.
Aria and Draco were given a reprieve during the lunch break, requesting soups and sandwiches when an elf appeared with the new menu. She was even able to slip an hour-long nap in before members of the Order came to visit. By suppertime she had seen Remus, Tonks, Mad-Eye, Kingsley, Snape (surprisingly), McGonagall, Sirius, and a few others as well.
Many people believed that Sirius died in the battle at the Ministry, but that story was told wrongly. He had been hit with a stunning spell, not the Unforgivable that was rumored. Instead of falling into the veil, as the reporters told, he tripped and hit the archway that housed it. So, unlike the story had been conveyed, Sirius was still very much alive.
Throughout the next several days, her extended family came to visit frequently. Hermione thought to bring Aria's school supplies in to occupy her when she and Raine were left alone and she had spare time on her hands. Draco was in nearly every day, but as the war escalated and she learned that Voldemort was putting more pressure on him and his family, he wasn't able to come around as often as they wished. Without fail, though, Harry and Sirius were in every single day, nearly all day, to keep her company and check on the baby's progress.
Because of her prematurity, Raine was born with underdeveloped lungs, which caused her breathing to rattle ominously once in a while. After Aria thoroughly researched and personally approved each and every one, the Healers administered various potions daily to ensure that she would be able to breathe more normally later in life. They warned that the process wasn't a full cure, and that she'd still have struggles- chemicals and harsh potion fumes would irritate her lungs moreso than a fully healthy individual. Along with her lung issues, Raine also developed severe colic (an ailment that even wizards hadn't figured out a cure or treatment for), and struggled to keep her food down. It was recommended that Aria take nutrient potions daily and eat as healthily as possible so that Raine could hopefully retain some of it herself.
Between her mother, her uncle, her grandfather, Draco, and the more infrequent visitors, Raine was always cared for as soon as she began to fuss. While Aria (and sometimes Draco) rested from long nights of cluster-feeding and then hours-long bouts of incessant crying, one of the three main males in her life would be caring for her daughter. They'd take turns pacing with and bouncing the wailing baby girl, or changing her dirty diapers, or just marveling at her while she blessedly slept.
Over that first week, Aria learned through the Pureblooded visitors (usually Sirius, Arthur, Molly, and Draco- even the twins, in a few cases of much-needed comic relief) that nursing a child was most common and natural in the wizarding community, and bottle-feeding was actually looked-down upon more often than not; It was the complete inverse from the general views of Muggles. She grew more comfortable feeding Raine around her family and friends, but still tended to cover herself with a blanket or large scarf when others were around. Just because she felt proud and confident in how well she and Raine were doing when it came to breast-feeding didn't mean that she wasn't still self-conscious about her own body.
Finally, after what felt like weeks in the magical version of a Muggle NICU, Aria and Lorraine were cleared to move back to their home. It would be Raine's first time out-of-hospital; Aria was just relieved at the thought of being back in her own bed.