Chapter 23: Changes
A/N: Thanks for the reviews guys! We really appreciate them, even if some are constructive criticism. Well, we welcome constructive criticism, so yeah. So just so that you guys know...we're adding Young Justice to the plot, in the later chapters! Yay! (If you don't know YJ, then we suggest you search it now...you have no life...) So, we hope you guys get some of the references we put in the last chapters...well, you wouldn't really understand some of them, if you don't watch the shows or read the books that the references are from. And yes, there are a lot of stuff that we got from a bunch of Batman movies, especially B:UTRH. So if you're confused by something, like Autumn suddenly being calm just after being buried alive...well, just read and all will be revealed!
No, we don't put our disclamers at the beggining of every chapter cause, well...we obviously don't own DC comics, if we did...we wouldn't let Damian die in the New 52. (Spoilers for those who haven't read. Yeah, if you don't know that...and just suddenly became sad because we told you that...TOO BAD! Even though it's common knowledge). Hehe...Damian died...*reminds you.* (That was a clue.)
Okay, so we'll shut up now, and let you read this awesome, or maybe not so awesome chapter.
Autumn's POV
I think Jason and his dad are celebrating or something and telling the rest of the family that he's home. I don't really know what they're doing, maybe they're having some kind of emotional talk, which is weird cause I can't imagine anyone from Jason's family letting out their emotions.
Me? Well, Alfred Pennyworth is leading me to my room and explaining some stuff to me about some stuff.
I know I said what I said and I meant it, but sooner or later, Mr. Wayne will realize that he just let the kid that almost killed his family into his own house. Then he'll throw me into Arkham, again.
I keep my body stiff as I walk down the halls of this huge castle. I'm curious and everything, especially about the library, but I keep my head down on the floor, away from anything else. I don't think any of the Wayne family has noticed me yet since they're all downstairs with Jason talking in the living room.
I don't know why, but I feel like I'm being taken prisoner even if the one escorting me is an old man (though Jason says otherwise) and even if my "prison cell" is a room in one huge house that is built on top of pure gold.
I keep my eyes downcast, my body stiff, my shoulders up and my hands right at my sides. When they find out that I'm going to live here from now on, what will the others say?
Now that their enemy is now living under the same roof as they are. I don't think it would matter, I'll be out of this place by tomorrow, they'll kick me out once Mr. Wayne realizes that he's just let ME into his own home.
They can let Jason back home because he's their son, but who am I to them? I am an enemy, not a friend, not an ally, I am an enemy.
Mr. Wayne was the one who told me to come in and ask Mr. Pennyworth to give me a room. He must have been way too shocked by the sudden change of his second son's mind that he forgot that I was an enemy, which shouldn't really be possible, since he's Batman, and I'm sure that Mr. Wayne doesn't realize how human he really is.
We stop by a door just down the hall right in front of one of one of the occupied rooms, I wonder who's room that is.
Alfred opens the door and gestures for me to walk in. The room has a queen sized bed, a dresser and a wooden desk, a washroom, a TV, and a huge window by the side of the bed with simple long red curtains tied to the sides of the window so that it won't touch the ground...it looks like a bedroom...an empty bedroom.
"Tomorrow, you can take your possessions from your old house and bring them here, but for now, I think there are some clothes of Ms. Christine that you may wear for tonight."
"Okay Mr. Pennyworth." I say looking down, then I look up at probably the most important person to the people that ever lived in this house. I can feel the warmth around him just as I stand next to the old man. "But, I'm telling you now, I won't last long." I say looking back down at the floor.
I can feel a small smile coming on. "You're aren't as bad as they say you are Miss Autumn." Well, then he obviously doesn't know me, yet. "Oh and please address me as Alfred. Dinner will be in a few minutes." He says and I look up at him and give a small fake smile. He leaves and closes the door. I just met the famous Alfred Pennyworth, the grandfather Jason talks about from time to time.
I turn back to the huge dark room and I sigh. I feel like it was a long time ago when Ducra dropped me off in that prison cell.
I don't know why, but this is the worst "prison cell" I've ever been to through my entire life.
Chris' POV
I CAN'T BELIEVE JASON'S BACK! I knew that Bruce and Dick really wanted him to come back, but I didn't think he would all of a sudden. Maybe the shock of almost losing Autumn kinda did something to him.
MIXED FEELINGS...
I seriously don't know how to think about all this... I guess I'd better enjoy whatever's going on right now.
Bruce, Dick, Tim, Damian, Alfred (who just came from downstairs), and I are all downstairs with Jason. Bruce is standing next to a Jason who is being hugged to death by Dick. Tim is talking to him about something, and Damian and I are being aloof from the mini Welcome Back party.
"Hey Alfred!" Jason motions for Alfred to join the group.
"Welcome back Master Jason." Alfred has a smile on his face, and I mean an unusually large smile. It's actually kinda creepy since I've never really seen him smile this large.
I kinda zone out of what everyone else is saying and get lost in a daydream. I'm woken up when next to me, Damian starts speaking.
"I don't understand what all this nonsense is about. Todd's back. Yay. Why is Father making such a big deal about this?"
"Hey this is a big deal! Especially to Dad. You would understand that if you weren't so jealous."
"I am not jealous! Maybe you're the one who's jealous since Cross has moved into the family too!" Damian raises his voice, and everyone stops talking and turns to him.
What? Autumn's part of the family?! When did this happen? How does Damian know this and I don't?! Maybe he's joking...but still...what the hell is he talking about?
"Dad, tell me he's joking..." I turn my head and look at Bruce, and everyone's eyes follow. He just stays silent, there's my answer.
"Wait really? Um..."
I don't know what to say. I can't believe Dad invited that psycho into our house...into this family. Well, he did just take back his insane son...are those two really that inseparable?
On the other hand, there's another girl in the family! I'm no longer living on this, as my friend Mark would call it, island of testosterone.
Wait a minute...
"How do you know this?" I turn a suspicious eye toward my little brother.
"Well, during all the commotion, I noticed Pennyworth leading Cross up the stairs. I just assumed that he was leading her to a room. I thought that she was only staying the night, but apparently she's actually living with us. I only said that she's part of the family to make a comeback."
"Were you planning on telling us or were you just going to let us find out on our own?" Dick asks Bruce.
"I was planning on telling you after things settled down."
"So that things could riot up all over again?" Tim asks.
"Well..."
"What matters is that our family is complete, now that Master Jason and Miss Autumn are here." That shuts everyone up. Alfred has a way of getting everyone to listen, like Batman does. "Dinner is ready. Miss Christine, would you please bring Miss Autumn down."
"But-" Both Alfred's and Bruce's glares cut me off. "Fine." I whisper as I slightly lower my head and head for the stairs.
I quietly walk down the hallway when I realize I have no idea where her room is. Ok so all the rooms are in the same area, including all the guest rooms, even though we will never have that many guests, unless the entire justice league has a sleepover...haha now I totally wanna see that happen...just the thought of it is hilarious...
The doors are pretty spread out, since all the rooms are pretty large and have their own bathrooms. My room is next to Dick's, and his is next to an empty room...maybe that's her room. Why has that room even been unoccupied all these years? Anyway, for the rooms across the hallway, Tim's is the closest to the stairwell, and then two doors down was the once locked room. Now, it's owner has returned. Jason. The room in between is unoccupied. That's also the room across from mine. That one seems more likely to be Autumn's. Wait a minute, that means the first thing I see every morning when I open the door is Autumn's room, or even worse, Autumn coming out of it...why? Alfred...dammit.
Just to make sure, I open the door to the ghost room. Empty, except for the queen bed, dresser, bedside table, and desk...and the open window with white curtains flowing in the wind...this room is eerie.
I quietly close the door and head to the door across from mine. If she's not here, then she's somewhere in this vast hallway of doors, and I don't want to waste my time looking through every guest room in this house just to find this girl who I don't really care about. I could just walk back downstairs and let her starve...ok that's a little harsh.
Besides, she's bound to come down sooner or later, not that she wants to or anything. When I first came here, I immediately loved it. But she didn't live the life I did. Who knows what goes on in that funny little head of hers?
I approach the door and I'm about to knock (I don't know why I didn't bother knocking on the other door...I think I already knew she wasn't there) when the door swings open, revealing a girl with wavy, black hair, teal green eyes, and pale skin staring at me. She's shorter than me, but only by an inch or so. After her ordeal, she looks a little better, but she's obviously drained of her energy, although I'm sure she's capable of doing...whatever she can do under certain situations.
"Umm...dinner's ready. Hey, nice shir- wait THAT'S MY SHIRT! AND ARE THOSE MY SWEATS?!" She's wearing my blue 'Come To The Dork Side We Have Pi (the symbol not the word)' shirt and what looks like my grey sweats. Yes I'm a nerd...just not a serious nerd like Tim, I'm just smart. Well at least she's not wearing my Toms or Converse. Her feet look a bit big to fit in my shoes anyway.
Autumn just walks past me, as if I'm not even there. Ugh...I guess I'll let it go for now..she's been through a lot. Where did she even get my clothes? I thought they were in the laundry.
I follow her down the stairs. When she reaches the bottom, she looks to her left, then to her right. I realize that she has no idea where the dining room is. I walk past her, turn left, and walk toward the door that leads to the kitchen, which then leads to the dining room. I open the door and turn my head to find Autumn following me. I enter the room and don't even bother holding the door open, but when the door closes, I don't hear it open again. I don't have to turn around to know that she slipped through the space between the closing door and the doorpost just so she doesn't have to open the door again. I do that too...
I walk through the kitchen, grab a strawberry from the counter, and take a bite out of it as I enter the dining room, Autumn right behind me. I can actually feel the tension in the air.
I walk in the dining room. Everyone is already seated down, that usual empty seat that no one ever sits on is where Jason is seated right now. I take a seat in my usual seat and Autumn sits on another empty seat at the end of the other table. It's complete silence, I don't even hear the clinking of silverware on the plates. I glance at everyone.
Dick, Tim, and Damian are all glaring at Autumn who is looking down at her plate. Bruce is looking at all of us at the end of the table and Jason is looking down at his plate, clenching his fist. I shrug and start eating my dinner.
After less than even a minute of silence, Damian stands up, nearly toppling over his seat. "I can't take this anymore." He points to Autumn who is still staring down at her cold food. "Father, do you not see? She is the enemy! Why do you let her live under your roof!"
Bruce glares at Damian with his elbows on the table. "Damian." Dad scolds.
But Damian is being stubborn again. "Father! She does not belong here! I understand why Todd is here, but her!? Why not just send her to the orphanage instead?!" He says.
"Damian."
"I know that I am not the only one who thinks this." He glances at me, Dick and Tim. "I presume that none of you want her here either!"
"Honestly, no." I say softly. I hate tension.
Dick shakes his head. "After all she did to us." He says, holding his neck.
Tim looks down, playing with his food. "I...I...I also, don't want her here…" He says quietly.
"See, father! Banish her from your home!" Damian points to the seat that Autumn was in. But Autumn isn't seated there anymore, all that's left is a full plate of cold food.
Bruce glares at Damian. Jason stands up and starts walking out of the dining room, but Bruce stops him and shakes his head. "No, Jason."
"Why not?" WIth one look from Bruce, his shoulders drop. He sighs.
"Fine." He says. "I'll talk to her later." Jason says walking out of the dining room and up the stairs.
"We need to talk. All of you." Bruce glares at all of us.
"Now? Cause I really wanna finish my food...I'm starving," then I lower my voice even lower than it already is, "even though I just ate a bunch of strawberries 30 minutes ago."
Bruce stares at me, not glares, and then sighs. "No. We need to talk. Now."
****Break****
We're in Bruce's study. "Father! I do not understand why you let her live here!"
"Yeah, after almost killing us. Dad, I think we need a good explanation for this." Dick says. "She should be in Arkham. Getting over her insanity."
"Dad, she shouldn't be here." Tim says.
"For once, I agree with Drake." Damian says disgustedly.
"We want Jason back home. He's our brother. But, Autumn...I don't know Bruce...after everything…" Tim says, remembering the scars.
Bruce sighs. "Listen, I know that this is a big change. It's going to take a while for us to welcome her into the family-"
"She isn't a part of this family. She tried to destroy it." Damian points out.
"But, Jason isn't going anywhere without his sister." Bruce says.
"Why?" I ask. He glares at me.
"Chris, if you were to be separated from your brothers, how would you feel?"
I look down. "Alone."
He nods. "Exactly."
I shoot my head up. "But-"
He waves his hand. "Get to know her first and see if you will let her into this family." He says.
I sigh. "But Dad-"
"No more buts." We all frown and Damian's the first to open the door and walk out of the room. "Dick, call her. Tell her to come here." He says.
"Fine." Dick says and we all walk out.
Autumn's POV
I look out the window, staring up at the clouded moon. I can almost feel a small smile tugging at the edge of my lips when I see a few stars awake tonight.
When I was on the streets, there were hardly ever any stars out, there was at least one or two but sometimes they'd turn out to be helicopters.
Before, when my mom was still...okay.
I used to stand by the window and stare up at the sky, every time I saw a star in the sky, I would gasp and smile, knowing that there's some kind of light out there. But when I turned around, I never knew that the star would be clouded by a thick and dark cloud, telling me that sooner or later, the light will vanish, and I wouldn't even know it.
I just stare at the sky, at the many stars. There are only a few dark clouds tonight.
When I was on the streets, I would stare up at the sky and look for a star, but there was no star in sight, there was only a bright Bat Signal scaring all the scumbags in the city. All were afraid, except me. I hated the Bat, I wanted revenge on the Bat...I don't know if I still do. I would look down and frown.
After each night that I slept on the streets, I stopped looking up at the night sky, knowing that there were no stars to look at anyway.
But now, there are stars in the sky. My mom used to tell me that the bright stars in the sky told me about hope. But even now, even with the stars littered across the dark blue sky, I still feel empty inside. Just because there is hope in the sky doesn't mean there is hope in my heart.
There could be just a tiny bit, but I think that that hope just melted away after what Dami said earlier.
What he said didn't really disturb me much, I was used to being insulted, but what really hurt was the truth behind it. Not the fact that they don't want me here, heck if it wasn't for Jason, I'd be outta here.
But the fact that, I can never belong to a family, that there aren't people out there to take me in and just be there for me. The fact that I'm unwanted by anyone, it's what really hurts.
A slight knock on my door takes me out of my thoughts. "Go to the study, Bruce wants to talk to you." Dick's unusual unhappy voice says on the other side of the door. There's a short silence, then the light footsteps walk away from the room.
I open the door and walk to the study. Where could the study be? I look down the hall.
Then I pass by Tim, who's walking the other way. He points to the door a few feet behind him. "Study's over there." I move away from him and walk towards the study without a single word.
I enter the room. There's a desk, some bookshelves, a huge window, and a huge grandfather clock.
He's glaring at me, the same way I glared at Christine when I was still in Arkham. I nearly shudder at the thought of Arkham...that place.
I sit down on one of the seats in front of the desk, facing him.
"Autumn."
"Yes?" I look down as I say this.
"You're going to live here now." He states and I stay quiet. "I'll need to give you a few simple rules."
I nod slightly. "Understood." I say, still looking down.
"No swearing, make sure to do whatever Alfred and I tell you to, I don't want you getting into any fights with the others. No guns and no killing." A heavy silence, he's probably rethinking this whole mess and wondering if he made a mistake and that he should just send me off to Blackgate instead.
"Tomorrow, we'll drive you to your old house and you can collect your things. You'll do that first thing in the morning." I nod.
"Remember, Autumn. Respect is a heavy word." I have no problem respecting others, he probably thinks that I'm just like Jason. I look up, and keep my mouth closed, my face hard, and my eyes intensely staring into his soul. I see a man hiding behind the shadows.
"Soon, you will be going to school."
"School, sir?" He furrows his eyebrows for some reason. "I'm dead." I say before he can say anything else.
"I have decided that I am going to legally resurrect you and your brother. It will take some time though." I wonder how he's going to explain that to the press.
"If you're going to live here, I want you to have a good education." He says and I nod. "I understand." I'm in robot mode.
"But by the time summer ends, you will be going to school as a new student."
"Which school?"
"You are going to Gotham Academy.
"Wow." I feel like slapping my mouth for letting a comment escape.
"What?"
"Nothing. It's just, to a private school already?" I'm lying. I'm surprised because he's already fixing all these documents and getting ready to send me off to school in just a few days, when obviously, I'll just screw this up and he'll kick me out and send me to an orphanage where I'll escape from since they're just gonna kick me out once I turn 18 anyways. Then I'll be back on the streets. It doesn't matter, I'm used to it.
"Yes." He nods. I'm glad that he didn't catch my lie.
"Listen, Autumn. I don't plan on replacing your dad." I clench my fists at the mention of my dad, but I hide my fists and I let him continue. "But I will not let you live on the streets."
WHAT RIGHT DOES HE HAVE TO MENTION MY DAD! HE LET HIM DIE! AND HE DIDN'T KILL THE CLOWN WHO MURDERED MY DAD! AND NOW, HE THINKS THAT HE CAN JUST MENTION MY DAD OUT OF NO WHERE?!
I sigh and I nod instead of letting my emotions out. He continues. "You will be living under strict rules, Autumn. But I'm only giving you these rules because I care."
YOU DON'T CARE! YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT ME! YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW ME!
But I keep my mouth shut no matter how much I wanna yell. He hasn't said one word about what I did to him and his family, maybe if I keep my mouth shut about my anger towards him, maybe he'll keep his mouth shut about the events that happened in the past months.
"Sure." I whisper, now looking down at the sweat pants.
"One more thing, Autumn. I cannot allow you to continue being Phoenix. Phoenix makes your mentality worse, I cannot allow you to continue fighting crime." He furrows his eyebrows slightly when he says "fighting crime." I clench my fists even tighter, but I make sure it isn't obvious. "I don't want you to lose control over your actions, you can end up hurting yourself." Don't you mean, others? "Unless, you learn to control your actions, and stop...destroying." He uses another term for killing, huh.
I can almost taste the metal in my mouth with the blood dripping down my lower lip. But I suck in the blood, and open my mouth.
"Do you understand the rules." He states more than he asks. There's a heavy silence. I think he's waiting for me to burst out or something. "Autumn." He calls my name and I look up at him, with a clear, emotionless, hard face. The expression that I used when I was talking to the commander when I was in Africa.
"Yes, sir." I nod and I stand up and walk out the door without letting him utter another word to me.
I rush towards the room that I am now sleeping in and pass by Carter and Damian. I shut the door and go back to staring at the sky through the window. No matter what he does or say, Phoenix is a part of me, always has been and always with me. He can never take her away from me, no matter what.
Phoenix is all my rage, all my anger, Phoenix was born in my fire. No matter what Bruce does, he can never take that rage away from me. He helped make Phoenix, he can't take her away, he can never make my rage disappear.
Bruce's POV
I sigh and Alfred walks into my study with a tray in hand, a pot of tea on top of the tray. He sets it down. I rub my face. "Alfred."
"I assume that had gone quite well." He says, pouring a hot cup of tea.
"A little too well, Alfred. She didn't yell, or complain, she hardly even talked. She didn't say anything once I brought up the issue of Phoenix and her father, she just stayed silent and sat there, like a...like a statue."
He gives me the cup. "She hardly looked at me, Alfred. I was expecting her to complain or yell or do something. But she didn't."
"Then it is obvious that she is quite different from Master Jason." Alfred says, not looking away from what he's doing.
"She hardly questioned anything I said, she just sat stiff, biting her lip and looking at the floor." I gesture to the empty seat. "She called me 'sir', Alfred."
"She could have a lot of respect for her elders."
I sigh. "She didn't protest, she didn't look around, she just kept a completely unreadable face when she talked. The way she said things was like a robot." I shake my head as I hold the cup.
"The girl has obviously been through a lot, then. To keep that such a straight face while talking to you."
"No, Alfred. She kept a completely emotionless face, the same face I use while handling criminals." I tell him.
"That isn't quite odd in my book, Master Bruce. As you have said before, she is unpredictable." Alfred quotes.
"But don't you think that it is odd, how she didn't say anything? Especially since I took away Phoenix from her?"
"The girl has gone through a lot. I am not entirely sure about what she has gone through, but I am positive that it was a lot, and she only moved in today. You cannot expect the girl to open up after just a few hours. Don't you recall Master Jason when you first took him in?"
I sigh. He picks up the tray and walks out the door.
That's Alfred for you. He tells you something, then leaves you alone to ponder on it. Everyone should have an Alfred.
****Break****
Jason's POV
I walk down the hallway and knock on Autumn's door. "Hey sis?" I ask and I open the door.
All I see is a messy bed, a dresser, a TV, and a desk, but there's no one in here. Maybe she went downstairs, but I didn't see her. Then on the other side of the bed, her head pops up. She stands up, rubbing her face.
"Ow." She comments.
"What were you doing on the floor."
She shrugs. "Meh."
I shake my head. "What is that supposed to mean?"
"It means, I don't feel like telling you the reason why." The sun is shining, and the curtains are closed, but I can still see the dark circles under her eyes.
"Couldn't sleep huh?"
I shrug. "You get used to it."
"What? To not sleeping or to the mansion?" She asks and I smirk.
"Go eat breakfast, then get ready."
"For what, again?" She asks, rubbing the back of her neck.
"We're gonna go get our stuff, remember?"
"Oh yea." She says. I shut the door and start walking downstairs.
I walk into the dining room. Today, nobody's home: Bruce has some stuff to take care of at Wayne Enterprises, Dick is at Barbara's, Tim is, well I have no idea what that nerd does during the summer, Chris and Damian are in the cave training. So that leaves me with Alfred and Autumn.
"Good morning, Master Jason." Alfred greets. I smile slightly. "Morning Al." He sets a plate down on the long wooden table right in front of my seat and I sit there.
Autumn walks in and sits right in front of me. That's Dick's chair, so I doubt that he will mind, he's the Golden Boy anyways. Alfred sets down a plate in front of Autumn and she stares at it for a while. "Thanks." She mumbles.
She starts eating, quietly and carefully, like every move she's making is calculated in her mind.
"So...how's your stay here, so far?" I ask.
She frowns. "It's only been one night."
"Yeah, but don't you think it's huge? There's a library upstairs."
"I know."
"You thinking about checking it out?"
"No." She says. I thought she loved books?
"Okay…but on my first stay here, I got lost a lot of times. I was messed up."
"That's why I'd like to stay in my room and not leave the comfort of my own space."
"You aren't curious?"
"I am but...nah."
"What the hell? What kind of an answer is that."
"Master Jason, language."
"Sorry Al."
"Yeah Jason, language." She looks up at me and smirks. I glare at her. "It also takes you a lot of time to adjust with rules." She chuckles slightly.
"Now that, Miss Autumn, I would have to agree on. Master Jason had much trouble adjusting to the new rules Master Bruce had given him the first time he moved in." Alfred says.
"Yeah, Jason's not very big on rules. I don't think he will ever be."
"Huh, look who's talking."
"I only disobeyed your orders once. Besides, who saved your life more than once."
"I saved yours more than you saved mine."
"Nah, you get yourself into way too much trouble. That's why I have to bail you out of trouble."
"That isn't me. That's Roy." I mumble. "Sorry what was that? I couldn't hear you over the sound of me winning this argument."
"So tell me Alfred? How many times was Bruce pissed off at Jason for disobeying and reckless behavior?" She turns her head to Alfred, smirking as if he already knows the answer.
I can feel Alfred's warm smile behind me. "Quite a number of times actually."
"See, Jase. And how many times did I go all reckless and waay too arrogant?"
I glare at her, shoving a spoon into my mouth. I swallow. "Once." I grumble. "How many times did I mess up the mission?"
I eat the last spoonful and sigh, then I stand up. "My family's arrogance better not be rubbing off on you."
She puts a spoon in her mouth and smirks. "Look who's talking." She grumbles after swallowing her food.
I roll my eyes and walk out of the dining room, leaving Autumn and Alfred to talk, or just in complete silence, whichever Autumn's more comfortable with, I don't really care.
I guess I'd better get ready. Alfred's taking us back to the house in a bit.
****Break****
We didn't even have to direct Alfred to the house. I guess Bruce told him where it was. For some reason, the surroundings I've been living in for the past months suddenly looks strange and unfamiliar. The mansion will do that you, I guess.
The car slows and I turn my head to look out the window. The nice house looks out of place in this grubby neighborhood. However, I know that once I open that front door, I'll find myself surrounded by a reminder of what happened before...when I nearly lost my sis.
"I believe we are here. I'll wait here while you go and gather your things. Please don't take too long."
I open the car door and step out, then I hold the door as Autumn slowly emerges. She has a straight face on, but I know she's probably recalling memories of this place. If they're good or bad, I'm not sure.
I approach the door and turn the knob, and the door swings open.
Autumn's POV
I stand behind Jason as he opens the door. He walks in and turns on the lights.
I sigh and walk in from behind him. He heads straight for his room and I head for mine.
I grab the biggest black duffle bag in my closet and stuff all of my clothes in, as fast as I can. Not bothering to make it all neat and whatnot. I wanna get out of here as soon as possible.
Why? First, because I don't live here anymore, and I hate remembering. Two, because maybe, the sooner I can get out of this place, the sooner I can get rid of my dad's ghost. Maybe the ghost will stop following me, maybe once I officially move out of this place then the ghost will also move out of my mind.
But no matter what happens, he's still my father, no matter how much I hate him. He'll always be my father and that fact will follow and haunt me until my death. My anger against him will probably just keep on growing as long as he is my father.
Which sucks.
I walk to my guitar and hold it. Should I bring it? Should I not? I love playing the guitar, but I hate my dad...Meh, I don't care if he gave it to me, I love playing the guitar. I'll bring it.
I keep my guitar in its case and wear it on my back. I take my laptop, my ipod, my phone, and some of my very important papers, like some of my poems and stories...and some...other stuff, and I'm set.
I walk out of my room carrying my stuff. I turn my head and look around the empty room, and I frown. The place looks neat and clean, the sun is shining in my room. I shake my head slightly and I shut the door.
I stop in front of the door staring at the empty hallway. The hallway is small compared to the hallways in the castle of the Waynes'.
I remember walking down these halls, just smiling, feeling bubbly for some stupid reason. I was carrying a poster, a poster of Batman and his sidekick, I'm not sure which sidekick though. I smirk, I was so naive then.
I didn't expect that Batman was going to end up being the one who would be my enemy, so he used to be one of my heroes. Even if I disapproved of his methods.
Then I stopped caring about Batman. He didn't save my dad, he didn't kill The Joker, he didn't do anything. What kind of a hero does nothing?
I started hating him.
Now, I despise all heroes. They lock the bad guys up, just so they can break out and kill more innocent people again?
Although, it's kinda funny, I'll be living with them from now on.
I walk towards the couch, that still isn't fixed and up right. But I remember watching a movie with my dad. I fell asleep on the couch beside him once, and he scratched my head because I asked him to, and he ended up sleeping on the couch too, beside me.
Jason comes out of his room, carrying bags too. "There better not be any guns in there Jase." I comment and he smirks but doesn't answer. He walks towards the door and opens it with his free hand.
He turns to me. "Let's go?" I take one last look at the place. Maybe I can come back here and visit. I smile and turn my back on the place. "Yeah." We walk out of the doorway and Jason locks the door.
I walk towards the car and I don't look back. I try to keep on moving forward, even if I feel as if the house is glaring at my back.
****Break****
I sit at the side of the car staring out the window, my hand on my cheek as the buildings, the trees, and the houses pass by.
That's when the memory hits me.
The world becomes dark and I hear mumbling and the dropping of metal.
A girl appears, she's obviously me. I don't need to look at her face to know that she's me. I know because she's by the garbage dump searching for anything metal or useful to sell.
I can hear myself mumbling to nobody in a different language. Yeah, that's me alright.
My past self finds some soda cans and metal and stuffs it in a bag. She's wearing a dirty white shirt that's too big for her and tattered jeans, she looks thin and obviously malnourished, her face looks dirty and wounded. She walks away from the garbage dump dragging the sack with her.
I follow myself to the scrap yard and sell the soda cans just for a few bucks, enough to buy a cold hard loaf of bread for herself and a few bucks will go to her brother's food. She doesn't complain. There's no point.
She walks down an alley and I follow her watching her as she slowly eats the loaf of bread and pockets the extra money.
She passes by a boy, who's sitting by a corner eying her as she eats the bread and pass by. He looks like a street kid too, a young street kid, with big brown eyes and messy black hair.
My younger self doesn't smile but she walks up to the boy and offers him the loaf of bread. He stares at it, then looks up at her. "I'm not that hungry anyways. Take it." He senses her lie, but he takes it and chomps down the loaf of bread.
A small smile tugs at her lips and she just continues to walk forward. "Wait." The boy calls. She turns around. "Don't you want anything in return?" She looks at him, her eyelids low as if she's tired and hungry. "There's one thing." I look at the kid, I know that his stomach is dropping. "Just remember my face." She says and turns around and walks towards an old building.
She climbs up a rusty fire escape and enters one of the windows. She hears screaming and yelling of a man and a woman.
She sees her little brother on the floor, at the mercy of a bat. Nico cries as he lays on the floor. Papa holds his bat up as mom tries to stop him and begs.
Papa's eyes are wide and angry, his blond hair falling down his face, and there's a small bruise at the edge of his mouth. He's about to strike when the girl runs and slides on the floor then she holds Nico, wrapping him in her thin and small arms. "No!" She says closing her eyes and holding her little brother.
"MOVE!" Papa's rough voice echoes as he holds the bat over his head. "NO!" She yells.
"Beat me instead, just don't hurt my brother!" She yells as she embraces him, protecting him as he cries. "Fine." Papa smacks the girl's back and her brother cries.
He strikes her back over and over as she holds on to her little brother. Blood starts to stain the bat and I can hear the cracking of bones as she takes the beating for her brother. She lets the tears fall, but she doesn't scream, her mom does that for her, and her brother yells and cries as she holds him. But her family can't really do anything but listen to bones cracking and blood dripping.
Then I'm pulled back into reality once we hit a hump. Then just as I've escaped dream land, I enter another memory.
But this memory is different.
This isn't painful just because it's a horrible memory, it's painful because I can actually feel it happening around me. Like I'm actually reliving it, mentally.
The car hits a hump and I bounce. I suddenly feel the world shaking, the loud ringing in my ears, the blood dripping down my mouth and hands, the fire burning my skin off and stabbing me with fear. I look around. The world is a blur, I hold on to what seems to be the edge of the door.
I can hear my heavy breathing as the world shakes, but other than that I hear nothing else. My eyes widen as I feel the whole world tremble. I look around with fearful eyes. I can feel the burning and the shaking.
Then the walls around me start closing in, and darkness closes in on me. Crap. I'm reliving what happened a few days ago...the coffin...the grave...the screaming...the blood.
Reality blurs and everything quakes. The escape pod and the coffin are mixing in one memory and surrounding me. No…I can't...No...no...no…
I look around and dart my head frantically. The world is spinning, it's dark yet filled with fire. I feel cold and frozen yet I'm burning. The world is convulsing yet it's so still. I quake as I sit. Reality and my nightmares are mixing up. I know I'm in the car, in my seat, yet at the same time, I feel like I'm in the escape pod and in the coffin.
I let out a small trembling sound, my lips quivers, and my eyes are wide.
Then the car comes to a stop and I'm pushed into reality. "Autumn?"
I shake my head and tremble. I move over Jason and open the door on his side and move across Jason's lap. I run out of the car, Alfred's just opened the main door and I rush inside.
The world starts to blur and shake again. My eyes dart desperately for the stairs. I find it and start to run to it.
"Hey Autumn?!" Jason says behind me. I run up the stairs, down the hallway and towards my room.
But as I run towards the room, I bump into someone's chest. I stop and search the hallway for my target, my room. I can't find it in this blur.
I can feel someone hold my arm, but not harshly. "Hey. Can you watch where you're going?" Someone says through my haze. "Hey, Autumn?" The guy says. I don't look up at him because I'm shooting my head around this mix of doors for my room.
I find my target, the door to my room. "Gah!" I give a quick shout as I harshly jerk my arm away from him and jolt towards my door. I accidentally smack into the door before I open it and enter my room and shut the door behind me.
I fall to the floor crawling up into a ball as I feel the my space and air taken away.
Chris' POV
"Can you believe Dad? Letting that monster stay here? With us? I mean I understand his point with her being alone and all if we don't do something, but shouldn't he be more worried for our safety? The girl nearly killed all of us?!" I throw a punch at Damian's face, but he grabs my fist and tries to kick my side. I pull my hand away from my brother's grasp as I do a backflip before his foot can make contact with my side.
"I wouldn't exactly call her a monster...she's just more insane than we expected her to be. And Father doesn't care about your safety, he only cares about his and mine. Besides, didn't you say before that she could've killed us, and yet she didn't?" Damian runs toward me.
I'm not sure what his next move is. Usually when he's running toward someone, he has his sword out, but we decided to just do hand-to-hand combat.
"You're only saying that because you've known her longer. And stop being such a spoiled brat." He tries to do a backflip while simultaneously kicking me in the face, but I lean back, grab his leg, and slam it to the ground. He falls onto the mat, and I walk and stand right next to his head.
"But really...you're being harsh with this girl. When we were at the docks you called her evil. I wouldn't classify her as that." He starts to get up, but I place a foot on his chest and push him down. I know that he'll eventually push my foot off and cause me to stumble and fall over since he's stronger than me. I bend forward and my face moves closer to his.
"Maybe your judgement is clouded since you and Autumn have something goin' on." Damian's eyes widen, then he struggles even harder to get my foot off of him.
"What the hell are you talking about Carter? Maybe your brain is messed up because you're too focused on having another girl in the family! You know you like being the one who is fussed over, being the only female in this household." He finally pushes my foot off, and I fall backwards. Ignoring his last comment, I place my hands on the mat, placing my body in the bridge position, then I lift my legs and move to the handstand position then place them back down on the mat. I quickly stand up and get back in my fighting stance.
"I know you kinda like Autumn. When you and Tim were fighting that one time, I thought you only said what you said because you hate Tim, but now I know that it's also because you were kinda jealous! I can't believe it!" I don't really see a future for those two...but Damian has feelings for somebody?
"Shut up Carter. You just don't like Autumn." He says in a menacing tone as he throws a bunch of punches at me. He's getting upset. I dodge every single one of them, then I punch him in the stomach. He grunts.
"Oh really? That time when you came out of the visiting room back at Arkham. You were dazed, and you were fingering your cheek! I had to yell your name three times to bring you back from lala land! At first I thought that Autumn had just mentally scarred you or something, but then I realized that Tim had acted the same way when we found him and Dick in the hospital! That was the only time Autumn could've kissed him. She kissed you, didn't she?"
Damian recovers from the punch and tries to punch me in the face, but I duck. Then, he kicks the side of my face and I fall to the side. He usually doesn't kick that hard when we're sparring. Now I'm kinda dazed.
"She is the enemy! How could I have affection for the enemy? I was taught to have no emotion...no feelings. HOW COULD THAT GIRL CHANGE ME?" He bent down, and now he's yelling in my face. Why is he yelling? His voice is so rough, so harsh.
I can see the hatred in his eyes...but hatred? Why hatred? He doesn't hate me, and he doesn't hate Autumn...or does he? I look into his eyes even more, and I know that there's more than just anger...the closest thing I can come up with is hatred, but it doesn't seem right.
I remember something Batman taught me when I was still training.
Don't let your anger guide your actions. Learn to control that anger.
That's what Damian's doing right now...not the control your anger part, the letting your anger control you part. Batman didn't just teach me that about anger...he meant that for all of my emotions. If you let your emotions take over, the results could be disastrous.
Time slows down in my head.
Well, here comes disaster.
He's gonna beat me while I'm down.
Take advantage of my vulnerability.
Maybe even kick me in the face and knock me unconscious.
At first it was just a sibling conversation, well for our family at least. Then it became really serious.
Why did I even try to make him angry? I knew I was firing up his emotions with every word that spilled out of my mouth. But why'd I do it? I'm the one who started it...
Is there something I need to know?
Something I need him to admit?
Maybe it's the fact that Autumn has changed this family.
Her menacing words sometimes float around in my head. I wasn't myself after we had our encounter. Because of her Dick injured me. Tim's vulnerable to her. Damian's getting out of control, and maybe he'll also become vulnerable to her.
And Bruce...she stabbed him. That girl stabbed my father. One of the only people who has really cared for me. Sure he doesn't really show it, but I know he cares. And now, this girl has somehow tricked my father into letting her stay here, where she can maim our family even more than she already has. And Jason? Well, who knows what she's done to Jason.
I need all of them to admit it. I need them to say it to my face.
Autumn has tainted this family. She is evil.
I have to do something about her. What exactly? I don't know. But I have to do something.
I need to hear Dad say it most of all. Autumn has ruined us.
Time speeds up again, and Damian's foot comes closer and closer to my face.
My thoughts kinda jumbled up my brain, so I don't react until the foot is just centimeters from my face. I roll to the side and stand up. After my brain starts working correctly again, I get in my fighting stance.
"Damian." I furrow my eyebrows, but I send him a warning through my eyes. But I know he's too stubborn to receive it.
Should I fight him? Or should I recede?
He kicks my face and sends me flying backwards. I do a slow backflip in the air and land in a sort of crouching position, my fingertips gently touching the ground. He charges at me.
Fight him it is. But that doesn't mean I should let him continue his rampage.
"Damian. You're getting slightly out of hand. You need to calm down." As soon as I say that, I regret it. When someone says you need to calm down to someone like Damian, they just get hyped up even more.
It's like there's pure fire in his eyes...pure anger.
Surprisingly, he looks like he's calmer. He stopped running and now he's just standing in front of me. Yet, he's using his silent, scary "Batman" voice.
"You started this. You knew this would happen...you know, more than anyone, how pissed off I can get."
"Well you learned how to bottle up your feelings, and you're suddenly letting it all out! What if Batman was testing you?" There we go. The anger in his eyes dissolve and all that is left is my little brother's blue eyes staring back at me. He puts his hands down and disregards his fighting stance.
"Then I would've failed...and Father would be disappointed." His eyes move downward, but then he shoots them back up at me. I hear him mutter "no emotion" under his breath.
"Father wouldn't be disappointed, he'd just want you to do better next time. I only said that because I knew you don't like failing." Did I just call Bruce "Father?"
"And it's ok to show emotion. Just don't let them all flow out. I like the Damian that opened up to his family more than the one who shut us all out." I love my little brother, even though he can really annoying.
I can see a smile tugging at his lips. He's trying to conceal it, but it's not working. He starting to kinda look like a cute little puppydog. Dammit now I'm having LBS.
My Brain Dictionary
LBS (Little Brother Syndrome): no matter how annoying or how stupid your little brother can be, there will always be those points in time where they seem so adorable that you just wanna run to them, hug them tight, and maybe even act like a grandma and squeeze his cheeks. Can also apply to little sisters.
Ok...calm down...resist the LBS...ok I'm weird.
Ha, like I didn't already know that.
"Are we done training?" I ask.
"Yea, we're done. Wanna go grab a snack?" He grabs a towel and places it around his neck. I pick up my water bottle and squirt some water into my mouth.
"Sure, but I don't wanna eat too much. I think Alfred's gonna make cookies."
"Yes! Pennyworth's cookies are the best!"
I smile at him. When we're halfway up the steps, I look over at my brother.
"You know I love you, right little bro?" I don't know what came over me to suddenly say that.
"Carter, you are sounding an awful lot like Grayson. You and I both know that when we start talking like Grayson, something is seriously wrong with us."
"Damian, you don't have to hear me talk like Dick to know that there's something wrong with me." We both start laughing, me more than him.
****Break****
Autumn's POV
I hold my head and sob as the world starts to close in. As darkness consumes me and as the world starts to shake.
Blood starts to drip down my fingers, and darkness swallows me up. I hug my knees closer to my body as the walls close in and take up all my space, all my space to move and breathe.
I want to scream for help. But who would come to help me? I always face my fears, my problems all alone.
The banging on my door becomes distant when the world turns sideways and my head hits the ground.
I sob and cry, but that's all I can do.
My lips tremble and I shudder, I can feel my heartbeat booming in my chest, I hold on to my knees as I lay here, tasting the salty tears.
I'm traumatized. I can't take this.
"Autumn!"
I swallow. "I...I'm fine…" I lie.
"Autumn, you're lying."
"I SAID I'M FINE!" I yell through the door, still lying here. My sobbing dies and I keep silent but I don't get up.
"Are you sure cause-" Grayson says on the other side.
"Yeah, I said I'm fine. It's nothing."
"But-"
"Don't you have anything better to do? I said I'm fine!" I yell vigorously.
Silence. A sigh. "Okay, but you know where to find me in case-"
"Since when did you ever care about me, Grayson?" I bark.
More silence, then more light footsteps.
I just sit here, staring at the light flowing in through the windows.
I shut my eyes and I shake, my breathing trembles.
I wait until my breathing slows down, until I start calming down. I relax my shoulders and open my eyes.
I sigh and let go of my knees and I start to unlock myself and I get up. I stumble towards the bed.
I sit down, and stare at the floor as I hold onto the edge of the bed.
I shoot my head up. I can't let a little trauma stop me. I won't ever let anything stop me.
I get up and walk towards the desk and grab a piece of paper and pencil. I'll leave the room to get my things later, when the heat dies down a bit.
****Break****
I quietly walk down the stairs. I take my duffle bag and bring it upstairs, passing by the kitchen. I quietly walk on my toes. Alfred is washing the dishes, his back turned to me.
"Care to elaborate your little lash out earlier this morning?" Alfred asks as I'm only halfway passed the doorway. I mumble a curse word in Greek.
"Miss Autumn, language, please." he scolds and I slap my mouth. How did he understand what I just said?
"Sorry." I say.
I breath in and relax my shoulder and set my foot down. "How did you know I was here? Are you some kind of meta or something?" I ask.
He doesn't answer. I sigh. "Alright. Let me just change into a better outfit, that I own. Christine probably doesn't like me borrowing her clothes." I walk up the stairs without Alfred's okay.
After putting my stuff down and changing into a white shirt that's a bit too big for me, that says "PEZ", and short black shorts and my pair of black slippers. I tie my hair, and let a few strands of hair down my cheeks.
"I look like an anime.'" I say looking at myself in the mirror. My hair is a bit spiky at the beginning of where my hair is tied. Long thin strands of my bangs fall down both sides of my face. The cut of my bangs are in the middle. My hair is a bit bouncy at the tip. And a bit shiny too. Although, when it's down, it falls all slightly naturally wavy and is a bit below my chest, it's until...that part of a girl's body.
My lips are small pink and dry my nose isn't exactly what I would call pointy it isn't flat either, it's a little round at the tip of my nose.
I'm really damn pale, I haven't gotten darker after twelve years, at all. My eyes are teal greens and my eyelashes are a bit long and dark.
I scowl at my reflection. "Ugh I look so ugly! I look like a freaking ghost!" I look at my height. "Hey, I've grown a bit! Yes!" My mom said that I'm slim but not that skinny...if I ate just a bit more of malnutrition. But I honestly think that she was lying just to make me feel a bit better.
I'm skinny and light and ugly and stupid and...and...I can't think of anymore insults to myself, I'll just think of them later. Meh. But the point is that I suck.
Well, at least that's what my dad and what Papa said. Dad told me that I'm too imperfect and that I needed to improve on everything. Papa told me that I was a stupid bastard. I believe them both.
Phoenix can be a bit arrogant, but Autumn...I don't think so.
I sigh and walk out of my room and down the stairs.
I walk into the kitchen, where Alfred is still washing the dishes. "Can I help?" I ask. He suddenly stops washing the dishes. He stares at the sink for a while as I look at him. He smiles a bit. "Of course. I wash and you dry." He says giving me a towel.
"Yes!" I celebrate, taking the towel and a wet plate.
"Would you like to tell me what happened this morning?" I close my mouth and look at the ground as I get a mug dry. "You haven't gone out of your room until lunch." He reminds me.
I didn't eat lunch with the Wayne family, I didn't want another outburst.
I planned to eat my lunch alone in the dining room. But it was a good thing that Alfred joined me. We talked a bit, about how things were in this house, about that huge painting of a man and a woman. It turns out that they were Mister Wayne's parents, Talia had told me about them, but I never knew how they looked like.
Alfred and I talked about a few classical books, like Oliver Twist, and The Grapes of Wrath. He suggested that I check out the library, it's full of books, and this time, I said okay.
"Um…"
"But if you don't want to talk about it, I understand." He says warmly, not looking at me.
I smile and continue getting the dishes dry with the towel. I keep my hands away from my mouth so that I can talk without spitting saliva on the dishes.
"It was because...well, I don't know if Mister Wayne told you this...but...I was buried alive…" I look down but continue getting the dishes dry.
"I am aware of that."
"Well...I guess I'm not over it...I still get nightmares." He stops and looks at me.
"Miss Autumn. You don't expect to get over this after a short amount of time, do you?"
I shrug and look down. "I guess not…"
He gets his hands dry, then he turns off the faucet and turns to me. He puts his hand on my shoulder. "Whatever the problem is, you can always talk to me. Or to Master Bruce." I sigh, looking down.
"But...they hate me…" I say. I wouldn't be surprise if Alfred hated me too, he probably just felt sorry or something.
He squeezes my shoulder. "It could take some time, but they will warm up to you. You will see."
"After everything I've done to them?" I look up at him. He smiles.
"The past is in the past. Live in the present. Everyone deserves a second chance."
"Even me?"
"Of course. Why do you think Master Bruce agreed to take you in?"
"Because of Jason?"
He shakes his head. "Because he cares."
I smile slyly and he lets go of my shoulder.I take the last dish and get it dry.
He wipes the counter and I neatly fold the towel and set it down where it should be.
"You won't tell anyone what I just told you, right?" I ask.
He smiles. "Of course not."
"Cross your heart?"
He draws an X over his chest and he nods. "Cross my heart." I smile.
It's only been two days, but I already trust him. "Now, would you like to help me bake some cookies for everyone?" My face brightens and I nod.
"Do you know how?"
I smirk. "Of course I do!"
"You wouldn't blow up the oven?"
"I would never!"
"How can I be so sure?" He smiles.
"My mom taught me how to. That should be good enough proof." I smile.
He chuckles lightly as I grin like a kid. "Good. Then let's get started." He starts walking towards the cabinets and I follow.
"Why? Did Jason ever blow up the oven?"
"No, Master Jason did a fine job in cooking."
I nod in agreement. "True."
"It is everyone else in this house that I'm worried about." He says, reaching for the materials. I let out a small giggle.
****Break****
I was able to get a few cookies once they were done, Alfred's cookies are the best. But I went straight to my room after that. I didn't want to encounter any of the family members from the Bat Clan anymore.
I don't bother to empty out my duffle bag, I won't be able to stay here long enough anyways. But I take my ipod and earphones and I start listening to music. Loud, rock music.
I have classical and calming music too on my playlist.
There are different artists on my ipod, like Owl City, Beyonce, Good Charlotte, Matchbox Twenty, Colbie Caillat, and Jason Mraz. A lot more artists.
I also have a lot of sad songs. Cause according to fun online personality quizzes that I took because I was extremely bored one day, I'm emo and depressed...could be true...
But my favorite genre is rock. Even if I am an acoustic guitar player.
I want posters of Three Days Grace, Linkin Park, Breaking Benjamin, Evanescence, and freaking Good Charlotte. Any rock band. All over the walls. I would cry if I was surrounded by those posters, but unfortunately, this isn't my permanent room.
I won't last long here, even if Alfred says that I'm wrong.
The Wayne family hates my guts. It won't be long until they just can't take me anymore and kick me out soon.
I stand up and stare at myself in the mirror. "I really wanna leave now." I say out loud. "I'm not wanted here, obviously. The only people that actually care and don't hate me are Jason and Alfred! I can't think of any reason why I should stay here! Other than sticking with my big brother. But why would I stay somewhere I don't belong?!"
I stare at myself in the mirror for a while, then I lay down on the bed, staring at the ceiling like I usually do when I'm confused or pissed or just plain annoyed.
"Maybe I should just run and run and run and just keep on running...away from here...away from everything. But where will I go to? Jason is right here! I promised that I won't leave! I promised my mom, that I wouldn't leave her, and I kept that promise...until the day she killed herself...I don't plan on breaking the promise I made with my brother." I let out a frustrated yell, not loud enough for anyone outside the room to hear.
"Why the hell should I stay somewhere where I'm not wanted? But what about my big brother? I know that his family will take care of him, but if I leave...what will happen? I know how it's like to leave, then find out that your loved one is dead. I don't want that to happen again. My dad died and I didn't get to spend enough time with him because he left me to train. I regretted not being able to spend enough time with my dad, then maybe I wouldn't hate him so much. I didn't know what I had until I lost it. I don't want history to repeat itself."
I rub my face and let out an exasperated sigh. "If I leave, where will I go to? If I run back to that old house, they'll find me there. Who will I stay with?"
"They don't want me, I know that. I don't want them either. I can't stay here any longer, and soon they'll kick me out. Might as well run away before getting kicked out. But where in this entire damn world will I go to? I'm just a kid! And what will happen to my brother once I leave? There are way too many possible consequences. Bad ones...I can't just leave my brother, I promised, even though he broke his promise the minute he made it."
I hold my necklace and rub my thumb on the silver.
"I know they don't want me to stay here! If I were them, I wouldn't want me either! I'd send myself straight to Arkham! I mean, after all I've done to them?!"
"I'm a monster! Phoenix always takes control and I can't stop her. Even if I wanted to. So I stopped trying to stop her. I'm evil, as Carter says."
I let a tear fall. "I wanna go home"...but...where is home? It's definitely not here. Not at that old house where my dad's ghost is haunting me. Where? I need to find my home! I need to get to it. But where is my home?!
"I wanna go home!" Home is where my family is, it's where I'm comfortable to be myself and not act like this stiff hard robot everytime I leave this room!
Home is where the people in it want you to actually be there. This isn't home...no one wants me here...they all hate me...and worst of all...they're the enemy!
"I can't stay here...they don't want me here! I don't wanna stay here either! But what about my brother? The person that might actually care?! Will I just leave him like my dad, my mom, and my brother did?"
He's got his family anyways. Another voice in my head says.
This may be his home, but it's not yours...so why should you stay here? It echoes.
"What about the promise? What if I leave, and he leaves too? What if I leave, and you're wrong?
Phoenix's voice stays silent.
"See!" I wave my hands in the air.
"Maybe it'd be better if I just died! I'll grab a knife and put it through my heart! That way if anyone finds my body, they won't be able to save me! Or maybe I'll trap myself in a warehouse with a bomb so that my body will be way too damaged to be repaired by the Lazarus PIt alone!"
Maybe if I died, things would be better. This family won't be so broken since the one who almost destroyed it would die and maybe Jason will be okay without me. No one else would care if I died anyways, who would? I wouldn't.
I'm a too horrible person to be cared for…
No one wants me, I don't even want me!
If I died, it would either be better or maybe it wouldn't really make a difference. They'll just bury my body and on my grave will be Autumn Cross. That's all that will say there, my name. I'm not a good friend, I'm not a good sister, I'm not a hero.
They'll just bury my dead body and walk away without wondering if I died a horrible death. Or why I committed suicide. Or saying that I was a good person. They'll just walk away without a single tear shed. And they'll say. "Autumn Cross. Humph. Thank God, she's finally dead."
Or maybe they'll say coldly. "It was meant to be." Yeah.
I chuckle at the thought of committing suicide. "Hehe." Yeah…
I look out the window, the day is good, the sun is shining, the trees are dancing with the strong breeze. It could be a perfect day. "And then it rains." I chuckle to myself. If it rains, that would just ruin the day. Good.
Well...I'm bored now… "Hey, Autumn, what do you wanna do?" I turn my head to the side, facing the window. I imagine a figure of myself standing in front of the window, shrugging. I turn my head back to the ceiling. "Yeah, thought so."
A/N: Yup, end of chapter. Any questions? Comments? Violent reactions? No, yes? Well, if you do, just tell us through the reviews or PM us or whatever. REMEMBER, CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM IS ENCOURAGED, BUT NO FLAMING PLEASE.