Katniss and the Rebels

Chapter 16: Jealousy?

AN: I AM REALLY SORRY FOR BEING SO LATE WITH THIS CHAPTER! I had a lot of family things going on, we were on holidays, we went to my uncle's civil partnership (which is really just a gay wedding but it's not called that in Ireland YET!), then my sister sprained her ankle and she has been acting as if she is dying ever since (only if she is around family that is, if she is on her own or with anyone else she is miraculously fine!), I've had to deal with friend's problems and on top of all that and loads of other stuff try and finish 7 seasons of Doctor Who before the new one comes out on the 23rd (I think it's the 23rd anyway) I am on the middle of season 5 though so I'm getting through it quite quickly I suppose.

So ANYWAY hi :) did you miss me? I missed ye! HAVE YOU GUYS SEEN THE MOCKINGJAY TRAILER! God my poor Katniss :'( But no the teaser trailers with Johanna and Peeta are just plain evil! My poor puppy! Did anybody else just want to wrap their arms around him and promise him everything would be ok? That him and Katniss would live happily ever after eventually?

So this chapter we see more of Katniss and Thom's friendship AND more importantly we see Peeta and Katniss getting very, very close indeed (see you have to read just for that)

Katniss is still not pleased about the whole debacle the day before and well I'm not sure I'd be too happy walking in on my two best friends all over each other.

The left her out of the fashion show! She must be feeling very left out ;) Ok so maybe that's not it.

I'm going to shush now.

So you lot! My gorgeous, fantabulous readers! Go ahead and read and when you are finished reading follow and favourite if you haven't all ready.

But most importantly! Please review! Because it does help me right faster if you guys comment what ye think and your ideas :) or you could PM me with them I don't mind. I would love it.

DISCLAIMER: Don't own the hunger games trilogy if I did Peeta wouldn't have gone through what he did in Mockingjay :'(

Dedicated to: THGvirginia, annmarie77, TributeAndProud (Epic name), Emily Mellark (I envy your last name), Booklovz and Marteto

Katniss POV

I am not jealous.

I do not GET jealous.

Especially not about my two best friends spending time together…..alone.

How dare Thom suggest I am jealous of Gale Hawthorne and Madge Undersee!

Like I care who either of them goes out with.

And they aren't even going out anyway!

Not that I would care if they were.

No! I am in this, mood as Thom so delicately described it, because of Paul! Because Gale disregarded my warning to keep quiet for the sake of our neighbours and blared out loud music. It wasn't even good music!

Add on to the fact that Madge Undersee (of all people!) thinks I am unfit to look after my sibling and the Hawthorne kids is it any wonder I'm not in the best form today?

Posy does not need fancy, posh, townie clothes that scream 'Mayor's daughter'.

And Gale accepted them!

Gale! Of all people!

Gale wouldn't even accept a biscuit off Madge last week and now he is accepting clothes off her!

Not only clothes but toys and teddies and all sorts!

What does our family look like? A charity case?

"Katniss?"

I mean who does that townie think she is?

Coming in to MY house saying she will help look after Posy then trying to butter Gale up by giving him stuff for Posy.

Ugh it makes me sick.

And Gale?

Madge has never shown any interest in Gale.

Why would she like Gale?

"Katniss!?"

Sure he is good looking.

He is very good looking

Not that I am looking but anyone can see that he isn't exactly ugly.

But anyway Gale hates townies and she knows that.

Everybody in the district knows that!

They've never liked each other before!

I mean they barely know each other, she can't just worm her way into his…well let's not go there

I shudder, rub my hands over my face before putting them down and sighing.

"KATNISS!?"

I jump in surprise and turn around to see Thom standing behind me, a worried and regretful look on his face.

"There is no need to yell" I spit out before turning so my back is to him.

It's lunch time.

On Monday.

I came to school purposely late today (I sent Prim ahead with the Hawthornes telling her I had to sort out things with mum before school, she didn't believe me but left all the same) to avoid Madge and Gale.

I made sure to enter the Home Ec. door just as the bell rang and sat next to Peeta.

Peeta could tell something was off but thankfully didn't question my mood.

I ran out of the room the minute class was over, apologising to Peeta before escaping.

Thom cornered me in History though...

"Katniss?"

I groan and drop my bag on the ground before slouching in my seat, folding my arms and looking up at Thom.

"Thomas."

"I talked to Gale this morning." He says hesitantly as he sits down, turning his chair sideways he is facing me but I look straight ahead.

"You talk to Gale most mornings" I state, emphasising the Gale

"He seems to think you are mad at him…"

"And?" I ask

"Are you mad at him?"

"Might be." I say automatically

"He is really sorry you know" He says and I catch him leaning forward towards me from the corner of my eye.

"What is he sorry about?" I question innocently

"About the em music…and err Paul. And em….stuff?"

"Stuff yes. That is why I am mad at Gale 'I am God's gift to women' Hawthorne. Because of stuff." I say sarcastically, sneering at him as I turn to face him.

I know I shouldn't be taking this out on Thom but I can't help it.

"God's gift to women?" Thom asks curiously

I just scoff for an answer.

"This…has nothing to do with you walking in on him and Madge Undersee now would it?" Thom asks caustically

I glare at him, "What are you implying? That I walked in on them making out or something!?"

"No! No of course not! I just thought maybe you….thought that's where things were heading with them. But I'm sure that's not what will happen. I mean we both know what Gale is like and why would he be interested in her anyway like she is a townie for starters there is really no need to be jealous or-"

"What!?"

Jealous?

Jealous? What do I have to be jealous over when it comes to Madge Undersee and Gale!?

Sure she is gorgeous...sure they would make the perfect couple.

But it isn't like they are together or anything.

Not that I would care if they were...course not.

Thom eyes widen, quickly realising his mistake, "Well I mean I just assumed, well not assumed- guessed! Well not really guess, I didn't know why you were in this mood so I just thought maybe you might be jealous-"

"Mood?" I ask raising my eyebrows.

How big of a hole is he trying to dig himself in?

"Well..em…not mood exactly….just you know…em attitude. Sorry I have absolutely no idea what I am talking about" Thom stutters "I am going to shut up now"

"You do that" I bite out and turn towards the front of the classroom just as the teacher comes in.

I had managed to swiftly avoid the rebels and Undersee for the rest of the day until now.

I went outside at break and lunch but of course Thom had to find me.

That damn boy knows me too well.

I turn around and take another bite of my sandwich.

I hear him move and then hesitantly sit beside me on the bench.

"I'm sorry for yelling" He apologises as I finish my sandwich and fold my arms.

"It's fine I probably wouldn't have heard you if you hadn't" I say rationally

"I'm really sorry for what I said earlier as well." I look at him and he offers a sideways smile.

I sigh, "It's fine, I over-reacted, it just pisses me off what she did. And Gale hates charity as you well know! And now he is taking clothes and toys for Posy off the Mayor's daughter of all people!"

"I think he was just trying to be polite and grateful. You know how bad he feels for not being able to give more to Posy-"

"She has my old clothes and Prim's! And old toys and stuff! They might not be in perfect condition and scream 'I'm rich!' but she still has them. It's like Gale just pushes aside everything I've ever done for Posy. Never mind Vick and Rory and even him and Hazelle!"

"I'm sure that isn't how Gale meant it, he is really cut up about you not speaking to him."

I scoff

"No he is Kat really. He doesn't even like Madge Undersee! He hasn't spoken to her all day. And I know she is really upset about you ignoring her as well."

"How do you know that?" I demand, narrowing my eyes at him.

Thom raises his hands up in innocence.

"Hey, hey, hey I'm on your side remember? I sit beside her in math and she asked about you."

"What did she say?" I ask inquisitively

"She just asked whether I had spoken to you today or not and I said yeah. Then she asked how you were."

"And you said?" I press and his face turns guilty

"I said you seemed like you weren't too happy with her and Gale after what happened yesterday."

"Hmm" I say lost in thought.

"She said to tell you she is sorry."

"Okay" I repeat not knowing what to say in response.

"You'll have to speak to them eventually Katstar"

I sigh, "Yeah I know"

I hesitate before finally asking the question that has been bugging me since Madge left yesterday,

"How is she? She hurt her leg or something right? Is she okay?"

Thom nods, "Yeah, she is good. Legs fine just a really bad dancer is all"

I laugh and mutter "Why am I not surprised?"

Wow maybe I am turning into Gale.

The loud bell rings out from the speakers that signal for the students to head to class.

I stand, place my lunch box back in my bag (I made sure to bring my own lunch today knowing I wouldn't be sitting in the cafeteria as usual) and sling it over my shoulder.

"Thanks" I say "For finding me and staying with me even though I was in a mood as you put it"

Thom stands as well and gives me his side-wards smile again, "Ah it was nothing that's what I'm here for" He winks at me and we head inside.

I've got 'study' class next (study classes are basically free classes where students go if their teacher is absent or unavailable or if you are a senior like myself you get the chance to study or do homework for exams. Of course not many people actually do either of them things. They usually just talk to each other or are on their phones the whole time as there usually isn't a teacher present and if there is they don't take any notice.)

When I walk in to the classroom I see there is no teacher present as usual but also notice that Peeta is here as well today.

I sit next to him and he looks up from his doodles at the noise.

He smiles at me and I am grateful for the friendly face.

"Hi Katniss" He greets cheerfully quickly stuffing his drawings in his bag and I manage a smile

"Hey Peeta how are you?"

"I'm fine thanks how about you?" Peeta asks. I can tell from his tone and facial expression that he is concerned on how I acted in Home Economics but doesn't want to pry.

I am touched he cares so much to be honest.

"I am all right thank you. Sorry if I was off with you this morning I just had a rough weekend."

Peeta's face is full of concern, "It is fine Katniss really and I am really sorry to hear that."

I can tell Peeta is genuine and I smile gratefully then he says hesitantly, "You can all ways talk to me about anything that's bothering you or just anything in general. Some of my friends say I'm good at helping people I don't know. Just you know if you ever want or need to talk to someone. But obviously like you have other friends I'm not suggesting you have none or-"

"Thanks Peeta" I say cutting him off and I smile reassuringly at him

He smiles at me and mutters something about it being no problem.

"Just you know" I say sighing "Gale and the kids they...well...they drive me insane a lot."

I would usually never dream of telling anyone outside of The Rebels and Sae my personal life or problems.

And I rarely tell them anything.

Now I find myself telling Peeta Mellark about them.

I tell him about the kids.

About how frustrating they can be, how I can barely cope with them. How I feel sometimes that I shouldn't be forced to deal with this when I am only 17 and how they aren't my children or even related to me, Prim aside.

I tell him how much money they cost. How I'm not sure if we will be able to afford Vick's dance lessons any more even though it is the only thing he is passionate about and he would be gutted if we were forced to take that away from him.

I reveal how it is only a matter of time before Rory and Prim start going out and how I'm not sure I can handle it when they become all lovey-dovey because this is my younger sister and the boy I think of as my brother. I mean It's not like I am going to allow them to...kiss all the time in my house I mean I

I tell him how Posy is finding it difficult settling into school, something she has promised me not to tell Gale about.

I tell Peeta how I fear the children will bully her when they get older for not having good enough clothes because we just can't afford better.

That's where Madge Undersee comes into it.

I try and be gentle as I know he and Madge are friends maybe not best friends but friends all the same.

I tell Peeta how hurt I am that she can provide for Posy only having spoken to her a few times while I can't and I'm the one who has been...well raising her since she was born. Credit given to Hazelle of course but she wasn't all there in Posy's first few years.

I don't have the money Madge Undersee does, I don't have the brand name, great quality clothes and toys from when I was a child because my parents couldn't afford that.

I have old, raggedy, worn-out clothes and toys that have been passed down in our family for years.

That's all I can give to Posy.

Whereas Madge Undersee can give her so much more.

Because I don't have them type of clothes from when I was a child. My parents couldn't afford it.

I explain how I understand that she was probably just trying to be helpful and trying to offload a bunch of old stuff that is like rubbish to her and never meant to cause any harm.

I tell Peeta how it killed me how grateful Gale was to Madge. That while I wasn't there when he received the gifts I could clearly see in the way he treated her that she might as well have given him the world, he was so overjoyed and grateful. He has never shown that sort of gratitude to me even though I have been feeding and clothing his sister ever since she was born.

I divulge how I'm tired I am of being taken for granted by Gale. And just how exhausted I am in general.

I complain about Gale thinking he can just have fun with the kids playing fashion show while I, someone who isn't even related to them, does all the hard stuff.

I feel extremely guilty then and quickly explain that of course Gale does loads of jobs and helps out just as much as I do. If not more. And that he takes care of Prim and my mum as well as his family. But it just feels like I get no gratitude while he does. I tell him that it is stupid because how I'm feeling is and I feel bad about it but I can't help it.

Peeta listens to me as I reveal more about the situation that I hadn't realised I had been fretting over so much until I got it all out.

I hadn't intended to tell him so much but it all just started spilling out.

Years of worries spill out to a boy who I only started properly talking to last week.

I am not this person... I do not tell random boys my worries and problems (in fact I don't tell anyone them)

Except Peeta Mellark isn't a random boy.

He is the boy who saved my life, my mother's life and my sister's life, selflessly when he was just a child.

That is debt that I will never be able to repay.

I suddenly realise that Peeta probably doesn't really want to listen to me drone on and on.

I am about to apologise profusely when I take in the look on his face.

He is frowning in concentration, taking in all the things I am saying. He is concerned, worried and at the same time he seems touched that I am sharing all of this with him.

I'm not stupid.

I do know that this could all be an act.

Or a bet.

Or something of that sort.

And if it were anyone else listening to me right now I would believe it was.

But not him.

I don't know why I just trust him.

It is like instinct.

I am positive it has something to do with what he did for me all those years ago.

I know he could have changed but I doubt it.

That might make me naive but so what? Maybe I'm sick of saying nothing.

I haven't realised I have stopped talking until Peeta takes my hands in his and runs his thumb over the back of my hand softly.

"None of this is your fault Katniss." Peeta tells me gently, "You have every right to feel this way. It must be so tough on you and I am so sorry for your situation and I hope I can help in any way I can. You shouldn't feel bad about feeling this way. Rory, Vick and Posy aren't your responsibility yet you still make sure they are. You still love and care for them as if they were your children which is so incredibly admirable Katniss. I can clearly see why you would be upset by Gale acting like he does. It mightn't be so much that he is taking you for granted as he has just gotten so used to you and Prim being part of his family that he feels he doesn't need to show you any gratitude. He should but maybe he thinks you all ready know how grateful he is for helping him with his family."

I nod and quickly wipe away the tears that are threatening to fall down my face.

I catch Peeta's look of horror and heartbroken when he sees my eyes brimming with tears, "I'm sorry oh god Katniss I'm so sorry"

I shake my head quickly, praying we don't cause a scene.

I cast a glance around the room and see that nobody has noticed our intense conversation.

Most people are either on their phones, doing homework or making out in the corner.

"Don't apologise Peeta you have done nothing but make this ten times easier on me thank you so much" I tell him and now its my turn to run my thumb over his hand in reassurance.

"I…I made you..." Peeta stutters out before he closes his eyes and breathes in deeply.

"Hey, hey, hey" I make an impulsive move and place my hands on either side of his face gently.

His eyes widen immediately with shock and I smile at him, "Thank you Peeta. I have never talked about this with anyone before and you have made it so much easier just being here and listening and I'm sorry if I got over emotional and droned on and on-"

"You didn't!" Peeta rushes out and then looks regretful, "Sorry didn't mean to interrupt" He says guiltily.

I laugh softly, "It's fine"

Before I put my hands down I take in the feel of his face in my hands, how warm his face is. How my two baby fingers are in contact with his ears.

His eyes are bluer than the ocean and much easier to drown in.

My eyes don't leave his as I take my hands away from his face and place them in my lap again.

I think I see a flicker of sorrow and hesitance when I do but he doesn't say anything.

I also notice how close we are to each other. We are face to face, so close our knees are touching.

I can tell that Peeta has noticed it too.

I breathe in nervously, eyes never leaving his.

I notice that unconsciously our faces are now closer than they were a few seconds ago.

I can see his eyes drop down to my lips briefly before his eyes return to mine in horror of what I will now do.

I smile so slightly it is barely noticeable.

Just when I am thinking of leaning forward just a small bit further the bell goes off.

Peeta and I spring apart instantly and we avoid eye contact.

Most others in the room are in Sophomores who don't seem to care about us, who are friends and families are or of our statuses in the District…well namely his.

Peeta and I stand, put our bags on and make our way towards the door, silently.

Peeta coughs and I turn back to look at him.

He looks as startled as I feel, "Emm…thank you…Katniss you know for sharing what you did with me"

Oh yeah I did that didn't I?

I can practically hear Gale's snarky, "Well done Catnip"

"And I just want you to know" He continues "That I won't and never will tell anyone what you told me and that like I said I'm here if you ever need me."

I relax instantly, how can this boy have such a great way with words?

It's got to be illegal!

Along with that cute, puppy dog face of his.

That has to be illegal as well.

"Thanks Peeta that means a lot."

He smiles brightly at me, "If you do ever want to talk you know I will listen. And I promise I won't get bored or sick of listening to you." He looks down and rubs his hand along the back of his neck then says, so quietly I can barely hear it, "I could never get tired of listening to you."

I blush, smile, mutter a goodbye and quickly run to my next class.

Well I know one thing for sure.

That boy is too charming and sweet for his own good.

Even if he doesn't know it.

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