Chapter 28: Cold-Hearted
A/N: Okay, so we're warning you right now...you will feel a lot of emotions in the next two chapters. Mostly because of what the characters are feeling and the many events squeezed into them. So please...no flaming.
Jason's POV
10…
I lean on the door, looking around the dark and empty warehouse. My suit is tattered and covered in blood. My eye is swollen shut, and my other eye is trying to keep itself up.
I stare at the bomb. The numbers all in red.
Bruce will come. He'll save me. Then he'll ground me for the rest of my life. Then we can go home.
9…
Then I'll be good. I'll be more obedient.
He'll come. Then this will all be over.
8…
Then I can say, "I'm sorry" when he comes. He'll come, like he always does.
7…
Right?
6…
He'll save me! He'll come!
I imagine that he comes crashing through the roof this very moment.
5…
Then it hits me. He's coming...but he won't make it in time…or maybe he's not coming at all…
I start to regret every horrible thing I did and said.
I start to regret not being able to make him proud of me…
4…
I regret disobeying Bruce and going after someone I thought that was my real family, when my family was with Bruce and Alfred, and Dick...all this time. They were right in front of me. The family I was searching for my whole life.
And I know now that Bruce, really did care and even if he didn't seem to care, but he cared. I know that I cared for the man that was my father.
3…
It's true, what they say...your life flashes before your eyes when you die.
I remember Dick, the first time I met him. He was my hero. I wanted to live up to his legacy and make him proud even if he looked like he hated me for replacing him. But I never could replace him. Because I could have never been as good as he was when he had the cape and the mask on.
2…
I remember every time Alfred scolded me for doing a backflip in the hallway.
I remember everytime I helped him out with the chores and when he lent me the book of Oliver Twist. I never got to return it. It's somewhere in my room, the only book that's actually neatly placed on the desk.
1…
I remember Bruce. My dad. Everytime he told me that Dick wouldn't make the same mistake, or everytime he told me that I wasn't good enough. It hurt. But I hid the pain. Now, I know that he just told me those things so that I would train harder and be prepared for things like this.
At least there were some people out there that actually cared.
0…
The world slows down. I hear the roaring of an engine outside. Bruce is here. But he won't be able to be here in time.
My eyelids lower, my jaw drops and my shoulders lose tension. My body relaxes, now I know, that there was never really any hope of him saving me. I was just lying to myself.
But there is still hope that Dad actually cared about me. That I would be the last person that he would ever let The Joker hurt. Bruce will finally end that mad man.
He'll bury him six feet under once Bruce discovers my body.
At least my death will finally end The Joker.
It's okay that Bruce didn't save me. He'll kill The Joker anyways. It's okay.
Then the world starts to move again. It's over now. I love you dad.
*BOOM!*
It's all just simply pain and darkness all together. Nothing more. Nothing less.
My eyes widen. I move the wheel to the left, missing that truck. I stop the car by the side of the road, in front of the forest of trees. I was on my way to the city when my thoughts drifted away.
I lean on the wheel and stare at the pedals. I can feel the hot tears from that memory fill my eyes. But I don't let them out. I didn't cry during my death. I'm not crying now.
I just stare angrily at the ground. I yell and let out all my anger.
I rub my face with my palms. It's over. That's the past. It's done. It's over. Stop thinking about it Jason. That's over now.
It's all over…
I shoot my head back up, my tears disappearing. But my anger not fading.
I close my eyes for two seconds and try to forget.
Then I step on the gas and continue to drive to college.
****Break****
Autumn's POV
I stare out the window. My face leaning on my hand, and my elbow on the table. My hair falling down the sides of my cheek. I listen to music on my iPod. I don't care if it's allowed or not. I watch two birds fly across the sky and above the buildings in front of this school.
I'm just waiting for our biology teacher to tell me to stop using my iPod like he did last week. He gave me one hell of a bad look and a quick lecture. I just shrugged and walked back to my table.
I calmly listen to a song under the genre of rock. I love this song.
My feet hurt. Not because of the swollen ankle last time. My feet hurt because I hid them behind the wooden bar in between the feet of my chair. The wood is scratching the skin under my socks. Oh well.
Why do I hide my feet? I don't know...maybe cause Mckenzie told me that my shoes were cheap? Yeah cause I was the one who picked them and bought them. Weird...what other people say don't usually affect me...much.
The song from one of my favorite band ends.
Then there's that short pause in between two songs. And all I can hear is the noise of the other students in this classroom.
Then their noise ends and gets replaced by a soft but quick ticking of what sounds like a clock. Oh, this song.
"Do you hear me?" Lucky, by Jason Mraz, feat. Colbie Calliat.
"I'm talking to you." The boy's part. "Across the waters, across the deep blue ocean. Under the open sky. Oh, my, oh baby I'm trying."
Then I feel a hand on my shoulder. "Boy, I hear you. In my dreams." I look at his face.
"Autumn." He mouths.
"I feel you whisper, across the sea. I'll keep you with me." I take off the earphones and pause the song. I stand up and look at his sweet and soft pale face.
He has tousled dark brown longish hair with white tufts of hair all over his head. A few streaks of icy white and really dark brown hair bounce down his forehead and cover his icy blue eyes.
His eyes are wide and solid icy blue, but when I stare into them. There's a touch of sweetness mixed with a pained invisible soul.
He's wearing that lame school uniform for boys, but still somehow manages to wear it in a better way.
He just stands there frozen in shock.
"Oh God, Jake?" I stand, lean in a bit and take a closer look at his eyes.
"Oh wow. That is you…" His eyes widen with this realization. He launches forward and hugs me.
My hands lay hanging at my side as his arms wrap tighter around my waist. I let my chin sit on his broad shoulder as his cold breath makes the hair at the back of my neck stand.
I push him away from me. "Jake! I can't believe this!"
His eyes widen even more. "AUTUMN! YOU'RE ALIVE! Oh God, you're alive! YOU'RE-! I slap his mouth with my hand, I hold his collar and drag him out of the classroom. Eyeing the students giving us awkward looks.
I drag him down the hallway as he tries to scream muffled words and licks my palm.
I run down the hallway, holding him. I pass by a fair skinned asian looking girl practicing...arnis? By the lockers.
I search frantically for a place where we can talk. I turn to my left and let go of Jake's collar. I open the door to the closet and we crash in the dark, small Janitor's closet that smells like cleaning supplies. (Duh)
I close the door and let go of his mouth. I wipe my hand on my skirt as he starts flailing his arms around with wide eyes.
"AUTUMN!" He yells.
"Jake!" I grin at him.
"AUTUMN! YOU'RE ALIVE!"
"Hell yeah." I smirk.
"WHAT! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? HOW? WE MOURNED YOU! BURIED YOUR-"
"Don't say that word!" I try to forget that we're in a closet, in a tight space. It's cool Autumn, don't go all claustrophobic on me.
"YOU DIED! HOW CAN YOU BE ALIVE! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? WHY DIDN'T YOU RETURN BACK TO HOME BASE? AUTUMN...YOU'RE ALIVE! THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE." Believe me Jake, I've had a lot of experience with "Impossible." Nothing's impossible.
"AUTUMN! I THOUGHT...I thought you-" I put my finger over his lips.
"Did you find a body?" He shakes his head.
"Well, then I'm alive and, here I am...alive." He gently takes my wrist and puts my hand down.
"Sorry, Autumn. We just assumed you..."
"Burned to death on the axium towards earth? Well, once I reached Earth's atmosphere the controls burned and I crashed. Some...enemies found me. Patched me up, they kidnapped me so that they can torture me even more before I die. I was able to escape. Don't worry about them now though."
"Did you…"
I nod. "Yup."
He sighs. "It's wrong to take a life."
I roll my eyes. "It's not like you don't do it."
"But still...but anyways...you're alive!" He spreads his arms and leans forward. I move back and raise my hands. "Don't. Touch me. Human."
He moves back and rolls his eyes. "I'm no human. Anyways, how'd you get here?"
I cross my arms. "Long story." I look away from him. "Irrelevant."
"Oh...oh hell. We have to tell them!" My eyes widen and I step on his foot, he grabs his foot and hisses. He lets it fall back on the floor.
"HELL NO. YOU TELL ANYONE ELSE. YOU DIE." I cross my arms again. I took my word. I can't show my face to them.
"Why not? War's over. You ended it. You're a hero."
My face hardens. "I'm no hero." I growl.
"But you ended the war."
"No. Just don't. That war's over that's it. End of story."
"What about everyone else?"
My eyes widen a bit.
"They never abandoned the mission. Even in death. Good soldiers. They're the real heroes. We won. They died. I lived. It's over."
Maybe I should have been the one to die instead.
My eyes pierce into his icy soul. "You?"
"After the war. most of us went our separate ways. Anne and Vic adopted me." The scientists that I worked with. "They brought me here. They have a huge mansion here and they even own property here in Gotham."
"Financial District?":
"Yeah." He shrugs. "Now. We're planning to live a normal life. They're paying for me to go to school."
"Yeah, they're good people. You lucky ass."
"You, you got a new family?"
"Long story."
"You haven't changed at all." He rolls his eyes. "Still so secretive."
I rub my arm with my palm. "So. Um...I like your highlights." I say smiling.
"Thanks. They're natural." He looks down and rubs the back of his neck and smiles at the floor.
"Cool." I tease.
"Huh, you said it." He looks back at me.
The door swings open and we both look at a really confused janitor.
I walk passed a janitor with an annoyed look on my face. My chest has suddenly gotten lighter. I hate tight spaces.
Jake follows me. Without looking, I know he's got a smirk across his face.
We walk back in the classroom and I sit back down on my favorite desk. I look out the door to see Jake surrounded by giggling popular girls.
He just talks to them with a shiny smile on his face. But I know on the inside he's saying. "Help meeee."
I shake my head and put my earphones back on. I play the song again.
"In my heart. You make it easier when life gets hard." I look at my zombie pale hands. My vains can already be seen through my skin. "Lucky I'm in love with my best friend." I just smile and look back out the window.
A/N: Credits to a friend for suggesting the song! JD.
****Break****
Damian's POV
"Who is that?" I say, disgust in my voice, as I gesture to the boy surrounded by those foolish girls.
"I have absolutely no idea." Daly replies.
I narrow my eyes and take a closer look at this boy. He's smiling and talking with those girls, but the smile isn't genuine. I've used that smile so many times to know what it looks like.
He may look like he's paying attention to those girls, but every few seconds I see him glance over at Autumn. She's sitting by the window, as usual, listening to music while looking out, as if longing for freedom.
I wish I could leave this damned place called school.
Oh no...we don't need another Snyder in the class...
Some kid next to me leans over. "Do you know that kid?"
"No." I state bluntly and harshly.
"Well he knows that girl over there. Autumn? I think that's her name. When they saw each other they hugged, the guy started yelling, but she dragged him out of the room and out of sight."
"And why are you telling me this?" Actually, that's pretty useful information. I just don't understand why he felt the need to tell me, some random kid who he sits next to.
"Dunno. Just felt like it." Ugh. People annoy me.
I turn away from him and look back at this new guy. He's walking over to Autumn and the girls who were swarming him are now following him with their eyes, and some of them are giving Autumn disgusted and jealous looks.
Autumn has a friend? Who is this guy? Why would anyone be that girl's friend? There must be something wrong with him.
They're talking. They're actually having a normal conversation. Well actually the boy has wide eyes the entire time he's talking with her. Oh no don't tell me he likes her.
Does Autumn like him back? I don't even know if he likes her...I'm just guessing.
Her only friend happens to be a boy...
Suddenly the entire class quiets down as our teacher walks into the classroom.
I don't pay attention to any word he says because the same thought keeps going through my head.
Who the hell is that boy?!
****Break****
Well it's lunch. Instead of joining my friend at...wherever he is. I walk over to where Carter and Drake are talking. Odd...why isn't Carter with her class and Drake with his? The both of them are at a deserted table while their friends are at nearby tables. They are talking in hushed tones.
"Should we ask Bruce if he knows anything?" I can hear Carter whisper to Drake as I get closer to the table.
"I don't know. He might end up pressuring Autumn and giving her a harsh talk. I think she's been through a lot and doesn't want to be pestered."
"Don't develop a soft spot for her, Tim. It's annoying." There's an obvious harshness in her voice.
"Well Drake is annoying, there is no denying that. But what do you want to ask Father?" I take a seat across from them.
"You've seen that boy, right? He is in your class." Carter gestures to a table a few yards away, where Cross and that boy from earlier are sitting next to each other, smiling genuine smiles. I didn't think she was capable of being happy.
"Yea. So?"
"Do you know who he is?" Drake asks me.
"No." I say harshly. "My imbecile of a teacher didn't introduce him, but I'll find out who he is. Even if I have to force it out of him."
"Only if we have to. But for now, let's not get rash." She narrows her unusually cold eyes at me. I feel like a darker air has settled around Carter. Lately, she hasn't been exactly the same. Ever since she got shot. It isn't obvious, but I've noticed. In the little things. The little differences.
"There's no use asking her about him, so I'll do some research when we get home on any of Autumn's known acquaintances from before she "died." I don't even know if she has any, but I'll try to dig deep." Drake says.
"I can't wait that long." Her voice is annoyed and her brow furrowed. She stands up, grabs a crumpled napkin that was next to her food, and walks over to the trashcan near the cafeteria doors, which is near the table Autumn is sitting at. She throws away her trash and instead of walking over the grassy area like she did on the way to the trashcan, she follows the concrete path which passes by Cross' table. She slows down ever so slightly by their table and then walks back to us.
"Jake." She says as she sits back down. "That's all I got. I knew they would notice me once I stood up and started nearing them. I just wanted a name. As I passed by them, Autumn became quiet, but the boy kept talking. Autumn shushed him, but accidentally gave away his name. This "friend" of hers is named Jake. Tim, make sure to do your research on this boy. I want to know everything you can learn about him. Bruce will want to know, too."
"Damian, find out what you can about him during your classes, if you can procure anything from him without making it seem obvious. I'm not asking you to approach him and start a "casual" conversation." As she says that, she holds up her fingers and bends two fingers in each hand, imitating the quotation marks. "Just try to learn something."
"I don't take orders from you. Only from Father and occasionally Pennyworth."
She narrows her eyes and lowers her voice. "Then don't. Suit yourself. You won't learn anything about him."
"I gotta go. I promised Tim that I'd help him study for our test." She picks up her stuff and heads over to her friends' table, leaving me with Drake.
"She can be intimidating." Drake remarks.
"No duh. That's what happens when you have Father for a mentor."
"How could Cross have a friend? She isn't exactly friendly." I say, looking back at the two, who have stood up and started walking into the cafeteria.
"I don't know. Maybe she was different in the past from how she is now?"
She was.
The Autumn Cross I knew was a worthy opponent.
She was joyful, enthusiastic and cocky. She used to wear long pigtails, her eyes used to shine brightly every time we sparred.
"Come on Dami! You can do better than that!" The sun was shining, the sky was bright blue and the clouds were thick and white. We were sparring, and I was losing.
I was fighting with force and anger, while she seemed to be fighting with grace and joy.
I ran towards her, she just stood there, smiling at me. When I got to her, it was a big mistake running towards her.
I punched, but missed. I tried a roundhouse kick, but then she sidestepped and dodged. I punched her face.
I smiled. But when she turned to look at me, she just kept smiling. "Good one." She said.
Before I knew it. Her legs were wrapped around my neck and pulled me down. My head hitting the concrete.
"That's enough, children."
Autumn got up and stood over me with her hands on her hips and an annoying grin on her face. She outstretched her hand.
I didn't take it and so, I got up on my own.
We walked to where Mother was standing.
Now, I wish I took her hand. For once, I wish that we could have been friends, so that we wouldn't have to be enemies.
I wonder. If the joy that she fought with. I wonder if it was just a mask. I wonder if it was real...
Enough. Damian. She is the enemy now. And she will always be the enemy, no matter what. She will never be my sister or my friend. Even if Mother treated Cross like her own daughter. Even if Father is so blinded that he thought of Cross as his own daughter as well.
Autumn Cross is the enemy and she will always be the enemy. She is The Phoenix. That is all she will be.
No, she is less. Autumn Cross. Is nothing.
****Break****
Chris' POV
We didn't pick up Autumn today.
I don't really care. It feels like the old times. The "happier" times.
Probably went off somewhere with her new "boyfriend."
Huh, Autumn has a boyfriend...before I do. Meh.
"Thanks for the cookies Alfred." Tim says as he grabs a few and heads in the direction of the study.
"Thank you Pennyworth. Father will be proud that you made exactly what I was craving."
I roll my eyes at him and smack him lightly in the back of the head when Alfred turns around.
"Ow! What the heck was that for?" I glare at him in response. He glares back at me. We end up having a glaring contest until Alfred tells Damian to head upstairs and do his homework.
There are only five cookies left. I can hear the sound of the oven. He's making another batch.
I grab four cookies, but when I reach for the fifth one, Alfred smacks my hand.
"Ow! Alfred what the hell?!"
"Watch your tongue Miss Christine!"
"Sorry..."
"Save that one for Miss Autumn. When dinnertime comes check and see if she is in her room."
I furrow my eyebrows and just stare at him. He's serious. Ugh.
Why the hell should I save a cookie for her? It's not like she would save a cookie for me...
"Fine." I swiftly turn around and head upstairs.
****Break****
Autumn's POV
I'm good at acting.
I can fake a genuine smile. I've managed to fool everyone, making them believe that I was happy. I managed to fool my mom, whenever she asked me if I was okay. I would smile and tell her that I was alright.
I can fake a laugh, a smile, I can fake it all. I've managed to fool everyone. Including myself...faking smiles and pretending is the only thing I'm good at anyways...
Jake and I walk away from school. I was able to get out of their sight. Somehow, I was actually able to avoid Alfred's eye when he was picking us up.
But I think I caught a glance of disappointment from him. It doesn't matter. Bruce Wayne wouldn't care about me anyways. Neither would his children.
I'll just walk in through the doors tonight, pass by them. It's not like any of them care anyways.
Jake is holding onto his bag as we continue to walk. We just walk in silence, my heavy bag hanging on one shoulder as I hold onto my arm, biting the lower part of my lip.
This is much more important than whatever lecture Mr. Wayne could possible give me.
We stop in front of a huge mansion. White and Gold.
"Wait here." He tells me. I walk ten feet away from the mansion.
"I think it's best that I wait here instead." I can't risk letting them see my face.
He shrugs. "Yeah okay." He runs inside.
I just stand here casually, putting my hands in the pockets of my skirt.
I feel something metal and cold inside my pocket. I pull it out. "What?"
It's a small retractable red knife.
I stare at the sharp blade, shining under the afternoon sunlight.
I furrow my eyebrows. I don't remember putting a blade in my pocket.
"Or did I?" I think I remember shoving this pocket knife in my left pocket this morning before going to school. Yeah, I took it from the dresser after quickly brushing my hair. I shoved it in my pocket for some reason.
I can't remember why, though. "Why did I put this in my pocket? Why do I even have a pocket knife? Where did I even get it from? I remember buying one...but I don't remember when or where exactly..." I wonder.
"Hey, you done mumbling to yourself?" I look up, and stuff the knife back in my pocket. Jake is standing in front of the house, ten feet away from me, he's holding a box full of things.
"Here's your stuff." He starts walking towards me. "I kept them after you…"
"Thanks Jake." I smile as he hands it over to me.
I start rummaging through the box and pull out a book. That says with an ugly handwriting. My diary.
Jake smirks. "Didn't know you had a diary."
"Yeah, I know. I was so naive." But I kept this with me the entire time. "I needed to write something. I'm that kind of a crazy writer." I smile at him.
"No kidding. You always need a pencil and a piece of paper with you." He smiles back.
"Yeah. I'd go crazy with boredom." I drop the book back in the box. He chuckles lightly.
"Hell, yeah." He smirks.
"Thanks for keeping my stuff for me."
"It's all there." He smiles with his white shiny teeth.
I hold onto the box. "Well, I've gotta go. I'll see ya tomorrow." I tell him with one of those fake smiles.
"Okay, see ya."
I turn around and walk away from the mansion of his new parents.
I just keep walking down the empty neighborhood. What will I do at home?
Hell, I'm not going to do nothing tonight. Not after...well, I need to keep myself occupied. Or I'll start thinking again. And maybe, I'll start crawling up into a ball and crying again. Like I always do, almost every night.
****Break****
I climb in to my room, through the window.
I put my things down on the bed. My messy bed full of pieces of paper, some pens, books, notebooks, comic books and some toy cars.
I put my bag down and just throw it in the corner of the room next to my guitar. I start shuffling through the box.
I put the diary on the covered bed. I may be messy, but I still cover my bed every morning, so that the inside of my bed won't get gross and dirty.
I pull out an old picture from the box. I stare at it, with an emotionless face.
It's a picture of my mom and my little brother. They were so happy. I know, because I'm the one who took that picture with the really cheap and old camera that mom had. The edges are kinda burned and some parts of the picture look like it was dipped in a puddle of dirty water, then dried up under the hot burning sun.
My eyelids lower a bit as I hold the picture. I carefully put it on my desk, inside one of the top drawers.
I walk back to the box.
I pull out my old favorite knife. It's a pretty big knife for my hands. But I can handle it. I hold the knife and look at the thick, shiny blade. I let a small evil smirk take over my mouth as I glare at the blade and hold it right in front of my eyes.
The handle of the knife is radiant blood red. I throw it in the air and catch it by its handle again. I smirk.
I walk to the desk and shove it in the drawer next to the picture of my old family.
I walk back to the box and pull out a thin book. The cover is all black with a silhouette of a ghost in the background. In all red capital letters is the word DEATH.
Ah, yes, good for when I'm bored. I just throw it on my desk.
I take the bottom of the box and throw it upside down and just scatter all of my things all over my bed. I throw the box behind me.
Eh, I'm too lazy to search through all this stuff. I'll do it later. I don't feel like getting all sentimental.
I change into dark tattered jeans, I put on a black shirt and a jacket. I grab some things and shove some random stuff in my pockets. There's still lots of time, I would go somewhere, anywhere but here.
I climb out the window, not bothering to turn off the lights, cause well, they're already off.
I walk away from the manor. It doesn't matter if they've caught me. It's not like they care. No one cares.
****Break****
I just walk through the late afternoon. It's four thirty. I just keep on walking.
The sun isn't out, it's covered with dark clouds.
But before I know it. I end up walking back to Crime Alley. The sounds of the peaceful chirping crickets gets replaced by the smashing of beer bottles and gunshots.
I pull out my old Nokia from my pocket. I have this phone and the other phone. They're nothing expensive, good for texting and good for calling. But this phone is now empty. Cause I've decided to just use my Cherry Mobile, I moved all my contacts there and everything else.
This Nokia can still text and call, but there's nothing else but my other phone's number on it. It's become useless.
I shove it back in my pocket. I pull my hood over my head and I put my hands in my pocket. Then I furrow my eyebrows and pull out that same pocket knife from earlier.
I wonder why I keep on bringing this knife with me. I remember putting it in my pocket earlier, but I just can't remember why.
I bite the lower part of my lip. I roll my sleeve up, showing off my blue green veins through my pale, pale skin.
I grip the knife as I look down at my arm and continue walking. I slowly put the knife down and let it touch my skin. It doesn't hurt cause it's not enough force to cut the skin. But it's enough force to let me feel the cold and sharpness of the knife.
Then I bump into something and I drop the knife. I look around me and furrow my eyebrows even more as looking around. When did it start raining?
I roll down my sleeve and look down at the person that I bumped into. A kid, with rags for clothes and messy dark brown hair and big brown eyes. He's about half my size and he's got milk chocolate skin. I pick the knife up and look at the kid.
He scowls as he looks down at the piece of bread on the floor. He looks up at me and scowls. "It's your fault! That was my only food left!" My stomach drops and I look at him in embarrassment and pity.
"I'm s-"
"Hey you!" I look behind him, where a man in an apron is scowling at him. The boy looks back and gasps, he pushes me to the side and runs.
The man in the apron runs. I outstretch my foot and make the fat man trip and fall face flat on his face. He's literally kissing the piece of bread that's soaked in dirty water.
The rain continues to pour as I run after the kid, the kid's thin, but not that fast, obviously tired.
Finally, I catch him by the arms, and I easily lift him up as he struggles and flails his feet around.
He grunts. "Let go of me!" his voice is high, but he tries to sound tough.
"Kid. I'm just trying to help you." I struggle to keep him still.
"No your not!"
"Yeah, I am!"
"Why would you do that?!" he says, calming down a bit. I put him down but I still hold his arm.
"Because, it's my fault why you won't be able to eat later. I'm clumsy, and now I'm guilty."
"Yeah, you should be! But why would you wanna help me?" He looks at me. "I don't even know you!"
I look at his face and take in every single detail. "I may not know your name. But I think I know you." I smile and let go of his arm.
He furrows his eyebrows at me. He crosses his arms. "Maybe we've met. Maybe not. It doesn't matter!" He lets his arms fall as the rain pours harder.
"Yeah, I know you. You're that kid that I gave the bread to." I smile and take off my jacket after I notice his shivering. I put the jacket over his head and kneel down, making sure that the jacket really is keeping him warm and tightening the arms around him.
He furrows his eyebrows. "I remember you." He mumbles.
I nod. "Yup. I told you to remember me. Since I gave you something to eat that time. You owe me."
His eyes widen. "What? But you said-" I chuckle, cutting him off.
"Relax, kid. All I want is to help you again. You owe me, times two. I helped you with that guy and I gave you a piece of bread a few years ago. So in exchange, I want you to come with me to McDonalds."
He glares at me, although he looks like he's pouting. "Why? I don't even know your name!"
"I'm Autumn Cross. Street kid." I say proudly.
He looks at me. "You don't look like one." He says, holding onto the arms of the jacket.
"Ex street kid. But hey, once a street kid, always a street kid."
You can take the kid off the streets, but you can't take the streets off the kid.
He looks down. "I'm Coby Moore." He mumbles.
"Coby Moore." I mumble.
Then I hear a loud grumbling, possibly louder than the rain. He clutches his stomach. I smile and stand up.
"Alright Coby. Now that we know each other, you can trust me!" I smile at him. I can tell he's confused. "So now that you can trust me. Why don't we get something warm to eat and a place to get away from the rain, huh?"
I lead him towards shelter. "It's not like I have a choice." he says.
I smirk. "You said it."
We find a small McDonalds. We stand under the roof to get dry for a while. "The rain isn't stopping." I mumble, seriously.
He looks up at me. That look on his face says. "I didn't think you could be serious."
After I wring my hair we walk in.
Coby still has my jacket wrapped around him.
After ordering, we get a table and sit in front of each other.
"So Coby, where do ya live?"
"Nowhere." he looks down.
"Your parents?"
"Gone…" He looks out the window.
"Fam…" I trail away and look down. Then the food comes.
I get the cup of water and he gets, everything.
He practically finishes it all. Of course, I don't judge. I know what it's like to starve for weeks.
I pay for the food with my money that I thought of bringing earlier.
"It's still raining." I say.
"I'm used to the rain." He points out as we just stand under the roof and stare at the puddles of water. He's about to walk when I pull the back of his shirt.
"No. I'm not going to let you be alone forever."
"Why do you care?" He spits.
"Because I know how it feels like." It feels horrible.
I sit down on the stairs and gesture for him to sit beside me.
"I was a street kid, you know. That's why I'm helping you. I don't want anyone to feel alone and have no home, like I did." I look at the boy.
He listens with curiosity.
"It hurts to be a street kid."
"Yeah, the things I had to do just to get food, some water."
He nods and furrows his eyebrows. I can see a small tear about to leave his eye.
"You miss them, don't you?" He doesn't look at me as he sniffs. "I don't know you much...or maybe at all. But I know that you're living a hard life here."
My voice softens. "My parents died too."
He looks at me with curious eyes. "How?"
"They died in a car accident." I lie. "I had a brother, too. But he was shot." I look down. "He was my little brother." I look back at Coby. "Now, I'd do anything just to have him back."
It's easy for me to get see the souls of people. The first thing I see when I meet someone isn't their hair or the color of their eyes. The first thing I see is their soul. That's why it's easy for me to get through to people in pain. Because I know how it feels.
"You miss them. Right? That night when I gave you that piece of bread. You were sad. That was the night that...the world took them away from you. Wasn't it?" He doesn't say anything.
I know I just met this kid. But I feel the need to make sure nobody feels the way that I feel. Alone, uncared for. Cold. Dead inside. Empty.
"I know that you don't know me, Coby. But you can trust me. I can help you."
"How?" He just looks straight ahead.
"Listen. I know an orphanage."
"Don't talk to me about those orphanages. They'll just kick me out when I turn 18 anyways."
"Yeah, but on the streets, would you even get a chance to turn 18?" He just stays silence at my logic.
"How do you think I was able to find a place to sleep in? I went to the orphanage. Someone adopted me." I'm lying but I need to get through with him.
I need to help him. "But-"
"i know, most orphanages in Gotham are pretty crappy. But, I know some awesome ones. I know one that isn't way too far. I can drop you off there after the rain stops. It's an orphanage funded by the Wayne Foundation. I've seen the place. And it's pretty good." Yeah, I went there. I was walking down the road when I passed by that place. I saw all the kids, they were happy and playing. It's not like...Ma Gunn's School. (I searched the cave files hehe, nobody better tell Bruce!)
"Trust me." I put my hand on his shoulder and he tenses.
"That's not the problem."
I cock my head. "Then what is?"
"In an orphanage, on the streets, it's all the same. I'll always be alone. Always."
"Orphanages are built to help kids get a family."
"What if I don't find one?! Who would want a kid like me?!" He looks at me with troubled eyes. "I won't be able to find a family!"
I just smile. I glance at the ground, then back at him. I put my hand in my pocket and take out my Nokia. He looks at it as I hold onto it.
"How about...I be your family?"
"Huh?" He looks at me with a puzzled look. I let out a not-obviously-fake chuckle.
"It's simple." I take his warm hand and put my phone on his palm. "Listen. I can't ask...my...parents….to adopt you...cause...er...I just recently moved in. But...I can be your temporary sister. Okay? It's like family. Isn't it?"
"But, we're not blood related."
I smile. "You don't need to be related by blood to be siblings. I can be like a big sister. While you wait to get adopted, and maybe even after that! I'll go visit the orphanage every so often, maybe two, three times a week. And whenever you need someone to talk to." I show him my other phone's number on the contact list.
"You do know how to use this phone right?" He just nods, staring at it.
"Great. So you can call me whenever you want to! And I can visit, starting tomorrow! After class of course. It's great!"
"So…" He looks like he's collecting his thoughts. "You'll visit? Why?"
I smile, and ruffle his hair, this time, he doesn't flinch. "Cause I don't want you to be alone!" I say, trying my best to sound enthusiastic.
"You'll...be my sister?"
"Exactly! I'll be like...like...a temporary sister until you find a new family. And if no one really does come. When I turn 18, I'll take you out of the orphanage."
"What if...I don't wanna stay there?"
"Well, I'm not forcing you. But once I drop you, you can't leave."
"Why not?" He puts on a sour face.
"You still have to pay for the meal. Pay by staying there."
"Why?"
"Because, when I go there. I'll have no one to visit!"
"How do I know that you actually will come? How do I know that you won't leave me and forget about me." I smile, and put on my happy mask. I force my eyes to shine with joy.
Even if on the inside. I'm not really happy. But I really do care about this boy. I will keep my promise. I can be his temporary sister.
I scoot over closer to Coby. I draw an X over my chest. "I cross my heart and hope to die. I won't leave you." I hold my hand up in an L position to emphasise my pledge. I smile. He mimics what I did.
"Cross my heart." He says. And this time. He smiles at me. "I won't leave either." His smile is well, it makes me feel something. It makes me lose that numb feeling for a while.
I smile back. "See! You look better when you smile! Tomorrow, I wanna see you smile again, okay?" I tell him, feeling a good warmth spreading through my chest. It replaces that numb and dead feeling I feel constantly.
I look straight. The rain is slowly stopping, it's just a drizzle now. "Come on, the rain is stopping." I stand up, and he stands up also.
"Let's go?" I ask him, outstretching my hand. He looks at it and smiles. He takes my hand and nods.
"Okay." That happier tone in his voice is replacing all the sadness, all the bitterness, all the coldness.
We walk out from under the roof and I realize that the rain has completely stopped, the sun comes out.
The sky is orange, and yellow, and a bit of purple and some blue. The sun is going down. But it's okay. It makes the world more colorful as we walk.
The streets are silent now, and that fresh scent fills my nose. I look down at Coby, who's just looking straight forward. Then he looks up at me and he smiles. Suddenly a shadow of Nico's soul replaces his face. But he's still smiling, his face is still happy and bright. Then the face goes back to Coby.
I smile, despite the fact of being reminded of Nico.
I look forward and continue to hold onto Coby. We walk in joyful silence. As the sunset brings light to this usual crime infested place.
But today, the streets are empty, no crime, no noise, just the sound of colors singing happy songs through the day.
But then at that same moment, a realization hits me. Fear fills my heart. It beats faster as it screams at me. The beautiful colors turn into shadows whispering. The orange sun is no longer beautiful in my eyes.
"Are you okay?" I look down and put on that fake smile.
"I'm fine." I say trying to hide the tears of fear in my eyes.
****Break****
Chris' POV
"Dinner is ready. Please tell Miss Autumn to come downstairs."
"Why don't you do it yourself? You're already up here."
"Do not use that tone with me young lady!"
I grunt in response and look back down at my homework.
"Do what you are told, or I will take away your laptop."
"What!? That's not fair!" I jerk my head up and glare at him. "Just because I don't wanna look into her room to check if she's here doesn't mean you get to take away my laptop!"
"I can do what I wish, if I feel that it is right."
I stand up. "You don't get to discipline me Alfred. That's a father's job. Bruce's job."
"Well Master Bruce isn't here at the moment, so it is now my job. Now hand me your laptop."
"Ugh fine! I'll go tell her!" I flail my arms up. "Jeez!"
I storm past him and violently open the door. No one's here! But there are some things on her bed...all sprawled out, and I pinpoint a small book on her bed that looks as if it was gently placed onto the covers. What is that?
I swiftly turn around. "No one's here! You could've done that yourself! Ugh! I don't see what you had to gain from this. Now if you would have the courtesy to leave me alone." I storm past him and slam the door in his face. I'm no longer hungry.
That was enough to get me another talk with Bruce. Yay.
Stupid life. You just had to be unfair. Always throwing me curveballs. Making my life interesting and messed up.
At least I don't live a boring and uneventful life like some people.
I turn back to my homework. Stupid math. You suck.
I'm sitting here, staring at my paper. I look like I'm thinking hard but my thoughts are somewhere else.
What was on her bed? Obviously she was here because there was stuff on her bed. I don't go into her room, but I know that Alfred would've cleaned it up if it was there while we were at school.
It's probably nothing important. Just go back to your homework.
What if it is useful? You should check it out.
No! You don't have the right to raid her room and go through her personal possessions.
But what if you find a plan to murder you and your family?
Why would she do that? She already said that she doesn't wanna hurt this family.
She could have been lying!
She could have not!
Oh God SHUT UP.
Voices in my head...annoying, yet helpful in certain situations.
Should I go in her room? Should I not?
I glance at my door. What lies behind those doors and inside Autumn's room?
GAAAAAHHH. My curiosity takes over me. I stand up and quietly approach my door. Maybe someone's outside, I don't know!
After listening intently for a while behind my door, I open it and enter the hallway. I look both ways and quietly enter Autumn's room.
Her bed is neat, but the stuff sprawled on it makes it look messy. There's a guitar in the corner of her room, next to a bag. She plays guitar? That's kinda cool. I'm stuck playing the piano, a classical instrument. At least I can play some of my favorite songs on the piano.
Her dresser is pretty neat. Nothing really on it.
I take a few steps into the room. Heh, she's neat for the most part, other than the stuff on her bed and the black box on the floor, obviously thrown aside. I walk over to her desk, where I find a black book with the word DEATH on the cover. What the hell? Eh, different people have different interests. Probably shouldn't open it though.
I look down and notice that one of the drawers is slightly open. I pull it open and stare at what's inside. A large knife with a blood red handle. It looks big for my hand. Underneath it is a picture, but I can't exactly tell who's in it.
I lift the knife, feeling slightly uncomfortable while holding it. Knives aren't really my thing, especially since one of my most painful memories involves me getting stabbed by the Joker.
I place the knife quietly on the desk and pull out the old picture. A woman, somewhere in her mid 30s, with dark skin and brown hair, is smiling with her arm around a young boy, who is obviously her son. He's also smiling. The picture seems to be taken with a crappy camera, and apparently this picture went through a lot. It's slightly burnt and feels like it was sun dried. Why would Autumn have a picture of two people who seem happy? I know that people aren't always what they seem. I've had personal experience, and I've had a lot of practice hiding my true emotions.
Maybe that was her family? The family that ended up dead. She said that everyone she cared about ended up dead or broken. I wonder what really happened to them.
I don't know what came over me to go through her stuff. I only wanted to see what that book was. I quickly put the knife back and close the drawer. I walk over to the bed covered in a bunch of random stuff. Hey cool she reads comic books!
I stare at the cover of the slightly tattered book.
My Diary
Jackpot.
I should get out of here. She could be back any minute. Or maybe Alfred will come in here and clean her room. Or worst of all, Bruce will just happen to be outside, waiting to scold me.
I grab the diary and run out of the room. I just stand in the hallway. If she comes back, she'll notice the diary is gone. Then I'll have a hard time explaining that to Bruce. But if I find something useful in it, he might overlook it. Might. But some things might not make sense in here. Tim could probably help me out. He's researching still, right? Wait no, he's eating dinner. Then maybe he'll come back to research. Yea, he'll continue. Tim doesn't stop till he finds something useful, and he would've told me if he found something.
I tuck the diary halfway into my pants and cover it with my loose shirt. I run downstairs and into the Batcave, making sure to avoid Alfred.
****Break****
Tim's POV
Ah. That was good food. Well everything Alfred makes is delicious.
I should probably continue researching this Jake guy, and anything else I can find out about Autumn.
I haven't found anything so far, which is frustrating. It's like he's off the grid, like Autumn was, until we found out who she is.
I walk into the study and open the grandfather clock door. My steps echo through the Batcave.
"Oh hey Chris. What's that?"
She's sitting in front of the BatComputer, reading something I've never seen before. I can see her smirking.
"Oh nothing...just Autumn's diary." She turns the chair to face me, but she doesn't look up from the book. She says that so calmly like it's no big deal.
"What?! How did you get that? She has a diary?!"
"More like had. The last date in here was years ago.
"How did you get that?"
"Uhh can't tell you."
"Can't tell me?! I'm going to find out eventually!"
"Then I'll let you find out eventually. But for now it's a secret. Enough of that. I need help interpreting some information." She finally looks up at me.
"Fine. What did you find?"
"I'm not exactly sure. There's the regular stuff girl's write about in diaries, like their feelings. Jake is mentioned a few times, but there's really nothing between them. She sees him as a friend, at least that's what I'm interpreting. But then there's a few things in here that keep referring to battles and...lots and lots of death...and well, anger. Do you think you could figure out what these battles are, like if they were in the news or something, just by Autumn's descriptions?"
"I don't know. Let me see the diary. Then I'll search through the database." I stretch out my arm and stare at her, telling her through my eyes to move off of the chair, but she doesn't budge, nor does she hand me the diary.
"Chris. Give me the diary and move off the chair."
"No. You might run away with the diary and show Alfred, who will tell Bruce, and I'll be dead. And I don't feel like moving. We can share the seat."
I roll my eyes. Since when was she so scared of Bruce and paranoid?
"Fine." She scoots over and sits on half of the seat, making space for me. I sit down, trying not to blush or do anything awkward or stupid. I don't know why I'm so nervous. It's not like we haven't been this close before.
I guess I'm not blushing, since she hasn't made a remark about it.
She tightly holds the diary in her hands as I read what's in it. Her handwriting isn't elegant at all like in most diaries. The letters are sharp, the words are sinking deep in the paper as if she was writing so hard, with rage.
This is s***. How could she have betrayed us like that? She was my best friend! How could she have betrayed her own brother?! That's messed up! She was...she was my friend. She may have been shy and quiet, kinda goth and emo, sometimes mean too. But she was my friend. She was fun to be with. Fun to talk to when she was in the mood.
I guess...I have to do what I believe is right. Ella Rane, you're dead. I don't see any reason to spare you for this great sin that you have done to us. The deaths you have caused, the pains you gave. The mothers, the fathers, the children that have died because of your lies, because of all that you have done. I will end you.
I type frantically on the computer, but I can't find anything.
"Nothing. Anything else in the diary that we could use?"
"Uhh I think so give me a sec." She starts flipping through the pages, glancing at each one before she flips to the next one. Then she stops and puts her finger on a page. "How 'bout this?"
Tonight's the night. We're infiltrating the base. We're ending this. It will all be over. I don't care if I have to die to end this. Or how many lives I have to take to get this over with. But I will end this, along with my team. I don't care if I have to die. I wish that my team would survive though. But come one Autumn...we all know that none of us will be coming back alive.
I don't care about the pressure. It hurts though, the entire world on my back. But I've felt it before. I'm used to it. Leading my own team. Accepting the responsibility.
The world is heavy. Carrying it on my back all day long. It's crushing me. Slowly. In the most painful way possible.
But it's okay, I'm used to it.
I've felt worse. The day that...my dad left, those times when he looked at me in disappointment. Those nights that he yelled at me for not being perfect. The night when Death grabbed my brother's soul and took him away from me. When Papa broke me, inside and out. When Momma would cry every night, when she would scream at me, telling me she hated me. When she would hurt me and shatter me without any remorse in her face.
Those times when I stayed beside her and hugged her, she pushed me away. And that night...when I held her bloody body in my arms and still tried to carry her corpse on my back and bring her to the clinic.
Those times...it felt like I was falling and falling. In a never ending, dark abyss. The darkness slowly eating me up, not listening to my screams, not caring about the tears I shed. I fall forever. Then it was like...I was falling, but like at the same time. I hit the ground, over and over again. The world slamming me down on the cold concrete already flooded with my blood. But the darkness didn't stop crashing me so hard on the ground.
I feel like I'm dying. Slowly. Painfully. Nobody cares. Nobody will ever care...not anymore.
"Hmmm...maybe." That's deep...
I search through the database. Still nothing.
"Is this diary even useful?" I ask.
"I don't know. I haven't read through all of it. And that's why I'm asking you to help me find something that could help us."
"Well maybe this would be easier if I knew exactly what we are looking for. I thought we were only researching this Jake guy? None of this stuff has to do with Jake."
"To tell you the truth, I don't really know. Maybe there's something here that could help us in some way, we just don't know it yet. It would benefit Bruce if he knew everything about Autumn. Maybe even benefit us too."
"Or maybe it will help us understand what she's going through. Her life does sound pretty tough. Maybe the stuff in here will help us understand it more."
"Her life may be tough, but it's what she deserves for everything that she's done."
"And what exactly has she done? We don't know everything about her. Maybe she wasn't who she is now." I don't see how Chris can be so heartless toward Autumn.
"And maybe she was always like this. All I know is that she's hurt a lot of people, including us. That's enough for me." She flicks her hand, as if pushing something aside. "Let's get back to work."
I don't know how long we are sitting in front of the computer, side by side, constantly flipping through pages and searching through the database, but we are disrupted when the door opens and footsteps echo through the cave.
"Carter. Drake. What are you doing?"
I immediately close the screen and Chris moves the diary out of sight. I don't even know where she put it.
"None of your business Damian. Go away." Chris crosses her arms. She's rarely like that with Damian.
"I will not go away until you tell me what you are doing." He stands next to the chair, his arms crossed and back straightened.
"What do you want?" I say.
"Just telling you that Father's here. He wanted to know where you were. Can't imagine why." He scoffs.
"Tell him we'll be up in a bit. Now go away." Chris furrows her eyebrows.
"No." His gaze shifts to Chris' side, where her bullet wound is. "What's under your shirt?"
"There's nothing under my shirt."
"Yes there is. I can make out the outline of a book. What is it?"
"I said there's nothing under my shirt." Her eyes are narrowed now. Why do I have to be in the middle?
Without warning, Damian leaps over my lap and tackles Chris to the ground. He's trying to get the diary from her, but Chris is making sure he can't get it.
"Give it to me!"
"No! There's nothing to give you!"
Chris tries to push Damian off of her with her legs as she holds his arms. I stand up and try to pull Damian off of her.
"Do not touch me weakling!" He kicks my stomach, and I stumble backwards. I hate how he can always hit me and I can barely land a punch on him.
Suddenly, Chris' legs can no longer keep Damian at a safe distance, and Damian falls on top of her.
"OW OW OW GET OFF GET OFF!" Chris' face contorts, and I can tell she's really in pain.
"Damian get off her!"
I move closer to them to attempt to pull Damian off of her again, but he's already standing up, the diary in his hands.
I run up next to Chris and help her up off of the ground.
"WHAT THE HELL DAMIAN!" She's glaring daggers at him. Yikes, she's really pissed. She's gripping her side where the book was. Then I realize that Damian was applying pressure to the wound. No wonder.
"A diary? Since when do you have a diary? And none of this makes sense. I didn't know you could have such deep and painful thoughts."
"DAMIAN I AM GONNA KILL YOU!" She makes a motion to lunge at him, but I hold her back. She looks at me, her face filled with anger, but then she calms down. Her body relaxes, and she lets her arm rest on my shoulders.
"What?" Damian says, trying to sound innocent.
"My bullet wound you idiot!"
"Hey I am no idiot! You are! For thinking that I wouldn't find out that you have a diary."
"That's not her diary." I say.
"Oh? Is it yours? Well then everything in here makes even less sense. And who is this Ella girl? I didn't know you could be so murderous."
"Damian, it's Autumn's." Chris rolls her eyes.
"What?! Autumn has a diary? How did it come to be in your possession?"
"She won't tell you." I say in an exasperated tone as I nod my head toward Chris.
"We should tell Father."
"No!" Chris yells just as Damian turns around, about to run up the steps and back into the house.
"Why not? Father will want to know about this."
"We want to try and find out what we can about this diary on our own. Without Bruce." I say. "Initially we were just looking for anything about Jake, but then we got curious about her past."
"So we've been searching through the BatComputer's database to see if we could learn anything based on what's in this diary, but we've had no luck so far." Chris has stopped leaning on me, and she's standing tall, her hand no longer holding her side.
"Then why don't we just ask Cross about the diary?"