The Magic School Bus Dies
Servo: Maybe you should change its batteries.
By the 6ft dick
One day at Walkerville Elementary, the class was waiting for that crack head bitch Ms. Frizzle to show up.
Crow: I always saw Ms. Frizzle as a pot smoker.
Mike: Or someone who took a LOT of LSD.
Arnold was incredibly nervous and paranoid.
Servo: Ever since he took one of the pills he found on his teacher's desk that morning.
"I don't want to go on any fucking field trips with that crazy bitch. If we do, I'll kill myself." At that moment, Ms. Frizzle showed up.
Crow: Naked.
"Class, I have very exciting news," she giggled. "We're going on another field trip."
Crow: Arnold then pulled out a gun from his pocket and painted his blood all over his classmates.
Suddenly, the high pitched scream of a boy whose balls haven't dropped yet filled the air.
Mike: Screech from Saved By The Bell is here?
"YOU FUCKING CRAZY BITCH! I DON'T WANT TO GO ON ANYMORE GODDAMN FIELD TRIPS! WHY DON'T YOU JUST GO GET LAID YOU RUMP TICKELING GOOTCH MONSTER?"
Servo: Did anything like this happen in your school, Mike?
Mike: Well, no. But it could have been much worse.
At that moment Wanda walked up behind Arnold and round house kicked him in the side of the head which killed him.
Crow: A round house kick? I thought Wanda would poof him away or something.
Mike: Wrong show, Crow.
Everyone cheered. "Thanks Wanda. That stupid mofo was really starting to piss me off," Ms. Frizzle said.
Servo: (in a surfer voice) He was really starting to ruin my buzz.
"Anyway, I thought of this field trip because I've been experiencing pain in my vagina, but instead of going to the gynecologist, I thought you kids could look. It would save me time, money, and you kids would learn about female anatomy."
Mike: Scarring kids before they hit puberty. Think of the children, I always say.
There was a shout of hell yeah, and it turned out to be Dorothy Ann. "I'm lesbian," she said.
Crow: (pulls out a $20 bill) Well, looks like you won the bet, Mike.
Mike: (takes cash) I told you Ralph didn't swing that way.
Outside the school, Ms. Frizzle told them what would happen. "I will swallow you when you're in the bus.
ALL: AAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWW W!
Mike: Oh my GOD! HOW SICK!
Servo & Crow: (retching)
You guys will head down to my vagina and see what the problem is. After you find out, return to the outside world and become big again and tell me what you found.
Servo: Their finding? She was a man.
Upon completion, you all get an automatic A."
Crow: -nal probe.
Mike: Oh God…
"I really wish I stayed home today," said Carlos. Everyone laughed knowing that Arnold was dead. "What an ass hole he was," said Ms Frizzle.
Mike: Yes. Let's all laugh at the death of the only sane person.
"Anyway everyone on the bus." Everyone bolted to the bus. Ms Frizzle had the Portashrinker and shrunk the bus to a really small size.
Mike: Unfortunately, it was the wrong bus. She shrunk a prison bus.
She then opened a bottle of beer, picked up the bus, and guzzled it.
Servo: Then, in her alcohol induced haze, she forgot what she was doing, dropped the bus, took a few drunken steps and stepped on them.
Crow: There were a dozen children who screamed in terror and were suddenly silenced.
Inside the bus, Dorothy Ann was very excited."Oh my God, we get to see Ms. Frizzle's sperm dumpster. That's so hot. And she's drinking beer. That's so great. I really want to…" at that moment, she died due to being so excited to see Ms Frizzle's cunt.
Servo: I guess masturbation causes death also.
Crow: If that happens in real life, does that mean Mike should have died YEARS ago?
Mike: Hey!
Ralphie tossed Dorothy's body out the back of the bus and locked the door.
Servo: Wait! I'm still alive! Oh well!
Crow: I'll be inside Ms Frizzle forever!
Wanda said, "I'll drive the bus." Suddenly, Carlos objected. "No you won't. You'll probably crash or something because you're a fucking chink. I'll drive."
Mike: Never too late to teach kids about being a racist, I always say.
"To hell with that shit you greasy wet back. You don't even have a green card." "Neither do you," Carlos replied with a shit faced look. "Tough, I'm driving."
Servo: This author is not only sexist AND a homophobe but a racist.
Mike: So many good qualities.
Carlos sighed and Wanda took the bus down Ms. Frizzle's mouth to the stink that moment Ms. Frizzle got pretty tipsy from all the beers she was drinking.
Crow: Surprisingly, they were non-alcoholic.
She started driving her car and was swerving lane to lane.
Mike: But really she was still in the school parking lot.
Servo: And the keys were not in the ignition.
She heard a siren in the background.
Crow: Half women and half mermaids are in present day America?
"Oh mother fucker," she said. The cop came up to the window and asked her if she knew how fast she was going. She replied,
Servo: Depends how long you were following me!
"Damn you are one sexy mother fucker, you want to get out of here and go fuck?" "The hell I do," he said.
Mike: (covers Servo's and Crow's eyes) Alright. This is going to turn out to be a slash fic of some kind.
Crow: Come on. Let us see!
So they went somewhere and she unzipped her pants and out of nowhere her vagina ate him.
Mike: This usually happens in Jersey.
That's when the kids noticed some body parts floating around. "This is odd," said Ralphie.
Crow: Usually, there are whole hot dogs flying in here.
"Well like the Frizz would say, 'like my cross dressing Uncle Tina said, you can never have too many sex changes.'"
Servo: Advise Rosie O'Donnell abides by.
Mike: Rosie's a woman.
Servo: Really? Are you sure?
Mike: Yep. 100% woman.
Servo: -sigh- (pulls out $20 bill and gives it to Crow)
Wanda almost hit a floating testicle because she was driving so fast. "Hey slow down you whore," said Carlos. "I guess that makes you a... bad driver. Ha ha."
Crow: How is that funny?
Wanda said, "shut the fuck up" and broke his neck.
Mike: How did she break his neck?
Crow: She and Cosmo used magic and…
Mike: Again, wrong show.
"Looks like he took a BREAK from his jokes" Wanda said.
Servo: And then she puts on sunglasses and went YEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!
Everybody booed her than killed her. All the kids were getting bored in the old man's cooter.
Mike: So, Ms. Frizzle is Mr. Frizzle.
They wanted something fun and interesting to do.
Crow: Which was each other.
Mike: CROW!
Crow: This author makes ANYTHING bound to happen.
So they pulled out their joints and smoked away. The Frizz noticed some smoke coming out of her old grilled cheese sandwich.
Servo: Well, that's what happens when its in the microwave for too long.
Mike: I don't think that's what the author is talking about.
She sniffed it to see what it could have been. Once she got a whiff of the delightful aroma, she pulled over and started dancing to the rhythm of her humming.
Crow: Not caring that her private parts is probably on fire.
A helpful yet dumb man wanted to help her in case something was wrong.
Servo: I guess her didn't see the SMOKE coming out of her area.
She said "Yo honey tits wanna fuck my brains out?" The man in return said, "Fuck yeah, bitch."
Mike: Then he saw that her privates were smoking and ran away.
So like the rest, he was also eaten alive. The frizz now realized she had to go to the gynecologist.
Crow: Which was AFTER she swallowed a BUS full of kids and ate two men.
So when she finally made it to the gynecologist's office she was hung over and had a wicked case of the munchies.
Servo: She drank AND got hung over in the span of a few minutes?
Mike: She had sex with another man and IMMEDIATELY spewed out a baby.
Crow: She ran for 20 seconds and lot 40 pounds twice as fast.
When she stepped in she went to see Nurse Liz. O.k. Liz do your mother fucking stuff.
Mike: Why do I get the feeling this is going to be some fem slash fic.
Liz saw the bus in her nasty old snatch and knew it was the kids.
Servo: That was causing her old snatch to be nasty.
So Liz ate the bus so she could get more attention.
Crow: So, in other words, Liz ate out Ms. Frizzle.
Mike: (facepalms) Aww geez, Crow.
All the kids died and Ms Frizzle and Liz got married.
Servo: To celebrate the fact that the kids were dead.
The kids' parents never gave a damn that they were dead. So all in all everyone was happy.
Crow: Except for the dead kids, all of them who roasted in Hell.
The End
Mike: Of the dignity of all fanfiction.
Crow: Thanks a lot, 6ft Dick.