Chapter 31
~Aaden POV~
My body felt somewhat limp. I had healed a little physically since the unpleasant encounter I'd had with Derek and Farren several weeks back, but my heart still hurt sometimes. I could push past it most days, but today was one of those where I felt dead on the inside. I wouldn't call it depression, that was constant, but I had definitely not been myself.
I made myself open my eyes, still sleep heavy, and sat up. I ran my fingers through my hair, rubbed my eyes and stretched. I hadn't been getting a lot of sleep lately. I had been having a lot of nightmares since the conversation I'd witnessed between Farren and Derek, but I'd also heard that pregnancy caused a woman to have them sometimes as well. One night, I'd dreamt that their talking had become reality, but in the middle of it, I woke up.
Silas' blood streaked scalpel laid on my swollen belly, slicing me open. "Don't!" I cried out, but a strong pair of arms lashed out, holding me down, forcing me to stay still. "Please, Silas!" I tried to kick, but my legs refused to work, and my arms were heavily laid on. I looked up, panicked, to find Derek. His smile was victorious, his eyes as red as the blood pouring from my stomach. My scream didn't affect him. This can't be real! Upon looking back up, Silas reached into the hole he'd created in my body, unreasonably gently removing a tiny body. I felt my tears begin to flow. My baby. My baby, perfect, but broken, and gone before they had even had a chance. "Not that it matters, but what was it?" Derek's voice was cold and ghostly, and his image began to waver in my water filled eyes. "It appears to have been…"
I'd woken up then, tangled in the sheets, my heart beating a mile a minute. I thrust the covers from me, my hands flying to my stomach. I sighed in relief, feeling the familiar roundness, safe and sound.
I crept to the edge of the bed, reaching for the towel I had set out the night before and shuffled to the bathroom. I peaked at the calendar on the way in. Today's date was circled, and I knew what it meant. Smiling, I stroked the baby. Five months today. Maybe soon, I could find out if I was having a girl or a boy, and it would be easier to name him or her. Jessica and Spencer had finally talked me into naming the baby Jessica Spencer if it was a girl, and I didn't mind. They were the first two to help me in keeping 'her', so why shouldn't I? Plus, Jessica Hale sounded nice. My only problem now was if the baby turned out to be a boy. I had played around with a few things, and more than ever, if the baby was a boy, I wanted to name him for Derek. As his son, he should carry on at least Derek's middle name.
I turned on the shower. I knew better than to talk to Derek or even ask him about naming the baby for him. I knew what he'd say. It'd be a definite no, with a warning of "not to name the little murderous monster after him".
Deep in my thoughts, I ran my fingers through my shampooed hair, blinking as water struck my face, and jumped when I felt the tiniest of nudges. It had finally happened! The baby had moved, and for the first time, I could feel it. I felt my eyes fill with tears. The precious life within me stirred softly again, but the kick wasn't as prominent this time. My hands left my hair and I rubbed my stomach. "Aunt Jessica and Uncle Spencer will be excited to know you're moving around!" I murmured to her or him.
Quickly, I finished up and dried off and dressed. I was too excited to be slow, I had to tell Spencer and Jessica.
I opened the door and jumped, for Derek was right in the doorway. "Derek," I said, happy to see him. He hadn't been around much since that day that he and Farren had plotted to almost take the baby. Remembering that made a sharp pain go through my chest, but I pushed it away. I hadn't fully forgiven them, but they were my family and I did love them. "Aaden," he said, his eyes lowering to my protruding belly. "Yes, I'm still pregnant, I will be for exactly sixteen more weeks. Can I help you?" He gritted his teeth, but looked at me, his gray eyes dark, but partially open. "I guess I just wanted to see you. Obviously, it can't be around the little disturbance, but anyway." "All right, well, I know you don't want an update, but you are this baby's father." I smiled, wishing I could see a look of hope or pride enter his closed off face. "What?" "An update. I'm five months today." "So?" "Just thought you'd like to know." "Guess I need to start keeping up with it. Don't know how much longer I could still have you around."
I wanted to scream in frustration. I really felt like I could make it through this, and I wished that he would stop talking about me like I was already for sure going to die. I wanted, and sometimes needed, his support, and as my husband, it should have been there with no questions asked. Right or wrong, I'd forever be on his side, even if I didn't like or agree with what he was doing. "I really wish you'd stop talking like that." "Well I really wish that you'd stop harboring something that will kill you, but we don't always get what we want." "All right, fine." I said, closing the door behind me, "I give up. You can be mad all you want, and I'll quit trying to bring you closer to us. It's obvious you don't want to be. I just thought as your wife, eventually you'd try and be supportive, and maybe even love this baby, but that's not going to happen. It was foolish to think that I maybe even could have named the baby for you." "…You wanted to name that kid for me." "Yes, I did." "Don't." "I won't, don't worry."
With that, I walked off. In my anger, I had been ignoring the sudden rampage of kicking I was getting. "Shhh," I whispered, rubbing my stomach, "it's okay sweetheart. I love you." Still, he or she kicked. I guessed it was in reaction to my anger…or Derek's voice. Maybe the baby already knew Derek was his or her father. Maybe, as little and underdeveloped as the baby was, the wolf genes made the bind strong. It made me confused as to why Derek didn't feel it. Being away from him constantly nearly killed me inside, and I knew it was doing a number to him, so why couldn't he just come around? As if our bond wasn't strong enough, the baby strengthened things enormously, at least for me. I damn near craved Derek's attention sometimes, but the wedge between us caused that to be a bumpy road.
It suddenly occurred to me that I hadn't mentioned the baby kicking to Derek. Obviously, he wouldn't have cared, but as the father, he still needed to know. More than ever, I'd wished I had told him.
~Derek POV~
I sat down on the wooden chair on the balcony, putting my head in my hands for the millionth time. I had yet another headache, I'd been getting those often now. Aaden's swollen belly wouldn't leave my mind. It scared me how fast this pregnancy was going, and it made me wonder how much time left I really did have with her.
Lost in my worries, my thoughts shifted significantly, and I went back to that voice in my head I'd had before. "No matter what," the voice came again, clear as crystal, "she will be okay." I felt shitty for the way I acted, but the only way I knew how to express my misery was through anger. I hadn't shed a tear since my family died, and I was holding to that. I was the Alpha dammit, and I was going to hold myself up to that. Alphas didn't have time to wallow in their sorrow, and since I had attempted everything I could to stop what was happening, there was nothing left I could do. I suddenly realized that this kid, this unborn little monster, had defeated me. Stubborn as hell, a killer, and a pain in the ass. Damn, this kid must be mine. It galled me to have to own up to it, but Farren was right, she hadn't done this by herself, and if I had been careful, she wouldn't be pregnant. I wouldn't pretend to be happy about this kid, at all, but I finally decided that it was time to act like the Alpha, and husband, I needed to be. I would be there for Aaden. I'd help her, and when it came time to lose her, I'd try and find a decent person that I could pay well to raise the kid. It had to go somewhere, and I would be in no fit shape to even want to bring it up. I doubted that I would even live much longer. If Aaden wanted our kid to live, I'd make sure of it for her, but it couldn't be with me. I didn't think I could ever come to love it, but I fucked up, so I did have responsibilities as a parental figure to make sure it was in a good place at least.
I slid my fingers into my hair. What a major fuck up I had been, from the first time I met Aaden. It was a wonder at all that she liked me, much less loved me. That was another idea that made me feel like a prize asshole. Regardless of me constantly putting pressure on her to get rid of the kid, of me being outright cruel and punishing, and of me doing this to her, she still told me every chance she got that she loved me. I did love her, a lot, probably more than I'd ever loved a person before, but I didn't understand her.
I finally stood, trying to smother my bombarding thoughts, and walked back into the house. Tonight, for the first time since we found out she was pregnant, I was going to our room. I was going to hold her, I was going to love her, and I was going to do the one thing I had sworn I wouldn't do.
I was going to get acquainted with this kid.
**Wow, Derek has had a slight change of heart! But can Derek come to love his baby? He'll be there for Aaden, but will she let him after he's hurt her so much? How do you think Jessica and Spencer will feel about this? Please feel free to leave reviews! Have a good day!**