Chapter 40: Shedding Some Light

Dick's POV

"Master Richard, please be careful." I hang the decors on the top of the doorway to the kitchen.

"I'll be fine Alfred, don't worry!" I grin as he hands me more decorations.

"What did Babs say? Is she coming?"

"There is still no word from her."

"Dick!" I jump down the ladder.

"Yeah Timmy?" He's placing the decorations on the staircase with Chris.

"Are we gonna go chop down a tree?"

"Mhm." I nod. "When Dad and Dami wake up."

"It's quite late. They should be waking up soon." Alfred looks at his watch with a silver eyebrow raised.

"Yeah, that's right. I'll go see if they're up." I walk up the stairs, avoiding the boxes of decorations. I look at Chris who's frowning slightly. "Wipe that frown off of your face now Chris."

She looks up at me hums. "Is Jason coming down?"

How could I forget about Jason. "Yeah, I think so. I'll call him."

I flash her a big grin and she smiles back and nods. "Okay."

I continue going up the stairs and then walk down the hallway of rooms.

"I should go and call Jase first." I mumble to myself.

It's only 7am and we're already decorating the manor. Well, I started last night with Alfred. But now, we're all helping out. We're all in a hurry to decorate since it's already the 23rd and we're not even done yet! I invited Barbara, since she's a part of this family too. She is Batgirl after all.

In all truth, decorating the manor is just to take everyone's minds off of the funeral.

We had the funeral yesterday. It was quick notice, mostly 'cause Bruce wanted to bury the kid as quick as possible just to get over it. Kinda cold, but we don't want the week to drag on for mourning. Not even Bruce wants that.

I don't know. It's messed up.

We buried her yesterday, and now we're getting ready for Christmas.

None of us will forget her. We can't, but we're trying to forget the pain. And I want to help them at that. Maybe not in a day, but I won't allow this family to fall apart because we're all moping over the death of a comrade.

Everyone's gotta die someday.

But Jase…

He was the closest to her. He was her brother. It shouldn't be surprising that Autumn's death had the hardest impact on Jason. And only a day has passed. No one can get over the death of their sister that quickly. But then again, none of us are over her death.

But I know that she wouldn't want this family to fall apart, and I don't want that either. No one does.

I sigh, placing my hand on the doorknob. I twist it, push at the door, and stop here by the doorway.

"Hey Jase." I say soothingly. He looks at me with tired eyes as he sits on the edge of the bed.

I look around the room. It's not neat, not messy either. There's a queen sized bed covered in white sheets, two side tables cornering the bed, a wooden desk with a few notebooks, books and papers, a blue closet, and a hamper beside the bathroom door.

"You know, I've never actually been in here." This room used to be a guest room before it was occupied. I look around as I walk towards my brother. Before I reach him, I glance at the papers on the desk. Some are files or whatever, and some are cool posters of a few bands, and there are even pictures of Batman, Nightwing, Red Hood, Red Robin, Nightingale and Robin.

I sit down beside my brother who hasn't looked up from the teddy bear he's been holding. "Little Wing?" I squeak out slightly.

He sighs heavily. "It was a gift to her for her birthday." He whispers. "What do you want Dick?" He says in a slightly irritated way without pulling his eyes off the teddy bear.

I chuckle slightly. "I used to hate the nicknames you'd call me." I look at the side of his face as I speak. "But now, Jay...I miss the nicknames." .

"It's only been a day since I've called you Dickie-bird. What are you whining about?" A small grin etches on my lips. Maybe we still have our good old Jay-bird. "What do you want anyways?" He still doesn't look away from the big brown teddy bear.

"We're uh, we're decorating the manor. I was thinking maybe you could help." I ask calmly. "It'll be the first Christmas we're celebrating with you back."

He says nothing, and an uncomfortable silence eats me up. "We're cutting down a tree this year. Like we use to."

Me, Jay, and Dad would cut down a pine tree from the woods every year, then plant five more. Jay would always look excited when he was still twelve, jumping up and down, waiting for us to put on our coats. Those times, it was hard to hide a smile. Then over the years...Jay just grew out of it and I hardly came home on Christmas.

"C'mon Jay." He doesn't say or do anything, but his grip on the bear tightens. "I know. Autumn's death was hard...but...she never wanted us to fall apart. If she was here…" I pause, gulping down the lump in my throat. "If she was here, right now…" I continue, "she'd agree with me."

I sigh. "I know that-" He cuts me off when he finally stands up and places the bear down on the bed neatly. He brushes the bear's head with his palm. Then he turns around and looks at me. My eyebrows raise when he smiles tiredly, and suddenly his eye bags wash away.

"Why don't we go wake the brat up? We gotta finish decorating the entire manor, and we'll need everyone to cover this castle."

I stand up with a smile. "Yeah…"

We both walk towards the door, and as we pass the doorframe, I decide to ask. "Hey what's with the sudden change of mind?" Jason holds the door knob and takes one last look at the room with a small but genuine smile.

"I made a promise to a little kid once…" He sticks out his pinky in the air. "I said I wouldn't leave. And she said she wouldn't either." He shuts the door then turns to me.

I smile at him as he stands in front of the door. He raises his eyebrow. "What are you smiling at you freak?"

My smile breaks into a grin. "She was a good kid." I pat his back, then turn to walk down the hallway. We walk towards Dami's room with my arm slightly hugging Jason. "You're a good big brother."

"Yeah, yeah. Let go of me Golden Boy." He pushes me away.

"What? You don't like hugs?"

"I don't like people in my space." He brushes his shoulder.

"Yeah, yeah. But that's only cause you stink Jason. Go take a shower!" I push him towards his room.

His infamous devilish grin flashes towards me as he twists the knob of his door. "Yeah. I'll see you later."

****Break****

Bruce's POV

I groan and force my eyes open, and the first thing I see is the window with open curtains. The window is white and foggy, with a few ice flakes stuck to it. I sigh, huffing out a faint puff of cold air. I check the digital clock. 8:12. I had around 4 hours of sleep. Not bad.

I've been trying to figure out Autumn's murderer since the day she died. So far, nothing. Whoever did it has covered their tracks, without missing anything. I found nothing regarding the criminal.

I've already checked with the Joker. Even he admitted that he didn't do it. And so did Harley - she had no clue, in fact. She didn't even care about Phoenix.

I rub my face, massaging my temples. I have to bring whoever did this to justice, before anyone else in this family starts to crave for revenge...and before this attacker comes for anyone else in my family.

Slipping on a grey shirt and sweat pants, I wash my face and reach for the doorknob. Twisting it and pulling the door, I walk out, expecting to see the halls empty and gray, filled with a mournful air.

But instead, I see that the halls have been decorated with Christmas ornaments. The lights are on, and the sound of yelling of two familiar brothers blares in the air. I walk down the hallway, closer to the sound of the fighting.

I find Tim and Damian wrestling on the ground, fighting over some Christmas ornament, Chris making sure they don't fall down the stairs, Dick and Jason trying to separate the two younger ones.

"Give it to me Drake!"

"But I always hang it!" Tim whines.

"Well now it's my turn!" Damian yells, trying to pry open Tim's hand. "So give it!"

I look at the two older boys, still trying to separate their brothers, and surprisingly, they're both grinning at the entertainment. "Stop being such five-year-olds." Chris rolls her eyes from the top of the stairs.

I place my hand on my forehead and give an exasperated sigh, but I'm secretly trying to hide a small smile. "Tim. Damian. That's enough." Then the two of them stop in midair. They stand up like two soldiers.

"Father." Damian greets.

"Morning Bruce."

I take the circular ornament out of Tim's hand. I sigh and throw it to Chris. "If you two are going to fight over this, then Chris will hang it."

"Haha! Suckers." Chris cries in victory as she runs down the stairs to hang the ornament by the door while Tim and Damian watch her with a surprised look.

"But Father-"

I raise my hand. "No buts. That's enough." I don't even know how they got up the stairs if they were supposed to hang it by the door. They both sigh and walk down the stairs to look for more ornaments.

"Dad! You're finally awake!" Dick grins in my direction.

Jason stands on my other side. "You're the only one we've been waiting for."

"For what?" I ask.

Dick and Jason raise their eyebrows. "You haven't forgotten have you, Dad?" Dick asks.

It's my turn to raise an eyebrow, and in unison, my two eldest sigh. "Family tradition!" Dick flails his arms.

"We're cutting down a tree. It won't be the same if the entire family isn't gonna help." Jason reminds me.

I immediately regret forgetting. "That's right. I almost forgot." I pat Dick's shoulder. "Don't worry. Let me just get dressed and have some breakfast, then we can go."

"Yes!" They yell in unison.

Now both my eyebrows are raised as I watch both my boys begin to run down the stairs.

Why are they so bubbly? Well, Dick I can understand...but Jason?

I haven't seen him like this since...he was twelve.

I place my hand on his shoulder, stopping him from running down the stairs. He turns around. "Yeah Dad?"

"You okay, Chum?"

He gives me a tired smile. "I'm fine Dad." He says.

"You sure?"

"Quit getting all gewy. I'm fine." I smile. There's my Jason back.

"Good." We both walk down the stairs.

This time, I see Damian wrestling on the floor with Chris and Tim trying to pull something out of Damian's hand. I notice Chris grabbing for the same object as well. Dick immediately rushes over to pull them all apart, but Jason just watches the spectacle from a safe distance.

"You got to hang that one. I deserve to hang this." Damian yells.

"I made that decoration three years ago! Why should you get to hang something I made?" Chris yells back.

"Damian give it to her. You can hang something different." Tim says, still trying to pull it out of his grasp.

"Grayson. Side with me so we can defeat these imbeciles."

"Stop fighting!" I yell, and immediately everyone pauses. "What is with all the fighting today?"

Next to me, Jason smirks. "This is our idea of 'fun'."

"You want us to have fun for Christmas, right Bruce?" Dick chimes in.

My eyes widen slightly. "Well of course, but I'm sure there's other ways for you to enjoy the holidays other than fighting."

"And if we can't find any?" Chris smiles.

"You will. There are plenty of ways to have fun."

"Like what?" Tim asks.

"For starters, how about going to chop down our own Christmas tree?"

"Our definitions of fun are obviously different." Damian mutters. Tim elbows him and in return gets a glare from Damian.

"C'mon Little D. We'd better change out of our pjs and into warm clothing." Dick goes over to Damian and picks him up by the arms, and surprisingly Damian doesn't object. They walk past Jason and I, and when they reach the foot of the stairs Dick drops Damian.

I look at Chris and Tim, and they both nod and walk to the stairs. Jason soon follows after them.

I turn to the kitchen door where Alfred is standing. He got there while I was talking.

"A family activity. That will be nice Master Bruce."

"I hope nothing disastrous happens. I just want to have a calm, family Christmas with no troubles."

"We both know that's not possible." Alfred furrows his eyebrows a bit.

We both laugh for a bit.

"Now go get ready. They will be ready soon, and you will be the last one down the stairs."

I give him a little smile before I turn around and head for the stairs.

****Break****

Damian's POV

We arrive at the place where we are supposed to chop down a tree that we will haul all the way back to the manor just to bring it inside the manor, set it up somewhere, and put fancy little lights and ornaments on it. I've always found the idea of Christmas trees absurd. They're trees. Why should they be inside and decorated? They're gonna die anyway without water.

Stop being such a butt. Enjoy Christmas and the time you have with your family.

Because you never know when that family will disappear.

Autumn's voice says those words inside my head as I exit the car. It would be something she'd say...

But she'd also say to stop being so sad on such a happy occasion. She'd want me to be happy and not mourning her death. It is the best way for me to honor my friend.

I look ahead at all the potential Christmas trees. Grayson comes up next to me. "Look at all these cool trees! You excited, Little D?"

I look up at him and try my best to give a smile, but I can only manage my lips to move into a small smile. My face feels really uncomfortable. "Yes, Grayson. I can't wait." I try to put some enthusiasm in my voice.

He gives me a weird look, but it quickly disappears. "It'll be fun, and- Jason, where are you going? You might get lost! Jason? Jason!" Grayson runs off after Todd, who just ran into the tree lot for no apparent reason. I will laugh if the two if them end up getting lost.

I turn around and see Carter coming toward me. It's not until she frowns that I realize my face is still smiling. I quickly get rid of that stupid smile and look straight ahead at Carter.

"What was wrong with your face?" She asks.

"Nothing."

"You were smiling. Like happy smiling."

"Have you ever considered that I am capable of being happy? I am a human being." I narrow my eyes at her.

"No no, I know. It's just that I'm not used to it. For a second I thought you were high."

I glare at her. "I am not high! There is nothing wrong with trying to have a good time!"

She smiles a sweet, little smile instead of a smirk. "Hm. Finally feeling the holiday spirit, huh? Well then let's go look for a tree. C'mon it'll be fun."

She grabs my arm and yells for Drake, who is talking to Father about something. We don't bother waiting for Drake as we head into the "forest" of Christmas trees.

Carter seems different...not as much mischief, not significantly excited about this, not being argumentative. She seems...calm. As if nothing is messing with her life at the moment, good or bad. Is she pretending? Is this her way of dealing with the death of our friend? Or...has something permanently changed in her?

Has something changed inside all of us? What will we get from all of this?

"Aw. I miss Christmas Damian. Where is he? Hello?" Carter says in a playful tone as we walk. She is no longer holding onto my arm, but Drake still has not joined us.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm here." I'm surprised to find my voice doesn't portray a lot of irritation.

"You were thinking about something." She gives me a worried look.

I look at the trees to my right, avoiding having to look her in the face. "It was nothing. You don't need to know."

"Okay."

Everything feels different, and I know I'm not the only one who feels it. And this sounds a little odd, but I like the way things are right now, at this moment, here in this Christmas tree place. We're here as a family, even though someone's missing. We're happy and not grieving, at least not showing it. I like the way we are now. I'm just scared for the day it will go away.

I look back at where Carter was. I look around and don't see her anywhere. I start to panic a little bit. Is this nice moment going to go away already?

"Carter? Carter?" I yell, but my voice is a little raspy. I try again. "Carter? Chris?"

I don't hear an answer. I panic a little more. Should I wait here? Or should I go to Father?

Suddenly, all the panic and fear washes away when I hear my sister's voice somewhere to my far left. "Hey Damian! Come look at this tree!"

I push past all the tree branches in my face until I reach Chris. She's standing in front of a tree that looks like every other tree we've seen.

"Don't sneak off like that." I frown.

She turns around. She's wearing a colorful beanie, a cream scarf, a dark blue winter jacket, jeans, and brown boots. I realize that I didn't dress that warm. I'm just in a zip up hoodie, jeans, sneakers, and no scarf or hat. All of a sudden I feel the cold air around me. I suppress a shiver.

"It's not your job to be my big brother." She frowns a bit. Then she smiles. "It's my job to be your big sister." She takes off the blue jacket she's wearing and reveals a hoodie. She hands the jacket to me. "Here. You need it more."

"I'm-"

"No. Take it." She orders. This time, I do take it and put it on. Warmth flows through my body, and I sigh a bit, allowing a puff of cold air to escape my lips.

"So, what do you think about the tree?"

"It's nice. We should show Father."

"He's probably still by the car. We gotta be able to get back to this tree, though." She spins around in a few circles, looking at her surroundings. She runs over to somewhere and comes back in almost an instant with a bunch of tiny branches. She makes a little path with the sticks from the tree, past a bunch of other trees, and to the main path (which is being blocked right now by the trees surrounding us). I notice a stick near the area where Chris reappeared earlier. I walk over to it, pick it up, and walk over to my crouching sister by the main path. I bend down and place the fallen stick on the pile at the end of the stick road.

Carter looks up at me and smiles a bit. She gets up and walks back to the tree. I follow her, and she looks at the tree again. Then she looks at me. "C'mon." We begin to walk in the direction of the car.

I let myself absorb my surroundings. I breathe in the cool air and feel the branches around me. And suddenly, I find myself smiling. I'm not even trying.

I feel happy. I feel like a kid. A kid with a normal childhood. A kid with a normal family.

No one must know, but...I like this feeling.

****Break****

Jason's POV

Decorating a Christmas tree was harder than I remembered, especially with Chris, Tim, and Damian fighting over who gets to place which ornament on the tree. But after a few bruises, a broken toe, a bite mark, and my face being licked by some brat, we were finally able to decorate the tree. But since they were fighting over the star, none of them got to place the star on top of the tree, because well...the expensive golden star ended up breaking.

Bruce didn't get angry. He just sighed and stopped himself from facepalming while Alfred did all the scolding. It was hilarious.

But in the end, it turned out okay, because I placed the ornament on top of the Christmas tree. Instead of a shiny golden star on top of the tree, I reached up and placed a white concrete angel on top of it instead, but it's one of those "made in China" ornaments. No one seemed to disagree, but when I turned around from placing the angel on top of the tree, everyone was silent for a while.

I smiled. "It's a great symbol." I muttered.

Then Dickie-bird grinned. "It's perfect!" He clasped his hands together.

Then it went to Christmas Eve, and I ended up being stuck with Dick inside a packed store to do last minute 'shopping.' I don't even know how Dick was able to drag me there.

We maneuvered around the people carrying the paper bags full of gifts for a whole bunch of people - half of them I probably didn't even know. I grunted when someone shouldered me in the elbow. Luckily I caught the gift that was about to fall out of my hand just in time.

"C'mon Little Wing. It's not so bad."

I rolled my eyes. Typical Dick. Always so f***ing optimistic. "Easy for you to say. You're used to these crowds." Dickie-bird is a whore.

To get over his parent's death, he surrounds himself with people. He constantly craves for attention. Me on the other hand...I'm more of the loner bad boy type. Before and after my death.

"You just need to get around more."

And now... it's Christmas Eve dinner. The table's full, and everyone's home and in their seats in the usual dining table.

The doorbell rings and Barbara comes in. Tim plays some Christmas music on the radio, and I've bought all the movies we could watch for the night.

I even greeted my girlfriend and my 'friends' a Merry Christmas - well...sorta.

Turns out Damian didn't know anything about Santa Claus, and Dick didn't know that Damian didn't know about Santa Claus until Dick suddenly blurted his name out. And so Dick told Damian about Santa Claus.

And now Damian is waiting by the chimney with a sword in his hand. He was freaked out by the thought of some dude coming down from the chimney. And now...I'm laughing.

Dick's trying to convince Damian that Santa Claus is a good guy but then…"Let the kid believe what he wants to believe!" I laughed.

As I watch Dick try to convince Damian by the chimney, I fall into a train of thought.

This is the first Christmas I'm spending with my family ever since my death. And in all honesty, I want it to be the best. It's what my sister would've wanted - she would've wanted me to enjoy Christmas...and I don't wanna miss a moment with my family ever again. Not anymore. Not ever.

At least until the day I die again.

I grin.

****Break****

Tim's POV

It's Christmas Eve. We placed all our presents under the Christmas tree and went to eat dinner.

Well...Dick and Barbara won't stop chatting with us or anyone they lay their eyes on. Yup, they're really meant for each other.

A few laughs escape from my lips as I listen to Dick's weird stories and Jason's snarky comments that he shoots at him from time to time. Chris and Barbara won't stop talking about random stuff, and Damian's ranting to Bruce about how Bruce should un-adopt every single one of us.

I roll my eyes at the Demon, who in return scowls at me. Then he continues talking to Bruce. But The Demon's Spawn doesn't have his usual scowl on his face. I think he's just ranting to Bruce so he can have something to talk about. But Damian's face...seems well...happier. His scowl is so much smaller, his eyes aren't as usually hard as they are supposed to be.

Now that I look at everyone...they all seem...happier...even Da - Bruce. They all look like a weight has been lifted from their shoulders. And even I feel as if the atmosphere is lighter than usual.

On Christmas...we'd usually have some crime to stop and run off to. But tonight...it seems that even crime is celebrating the holidays.

****Break****

"Tim wake up!" I roll over on my bed and shut my eyes tighter. "Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!" The voice of a little girl rings in my ears. I shut my eyes tighter as my brain tries to recognize the voice. "Wake up! It's Christmas!" Finally I shoot my eyes open and as my eyes begin to focus, I take in the details of the tiny figure that's standing above me.

She has short black hair, skin like the snow outside, and bright teal green eyes. "Who are you?" I rub my eyes and sit up as the little girl slides off the bed and stands in front of me as I get out from under the covers.

I notice that she's wearing pajamas with teddy bears as a design.

She gives me an all too familiar smirk. "The ghost of Christmas past." She says mockingly as her eyes start to sparkle so very childishly. "Tim! It's me! Your little sister!"

"Autumn?" I ask.

"The one and only!" She places her hands on her hips as she grins at me with two front teeth missing. "Who else would it be?"

I rub my eyes. "Why are you waking me up so early?" I ask.

"Because! It's Christmas! And it's time to open presents!"

"Now?" I groan.

"Now!"

She drags me out of bed and we both run down the stairs of the manor. She drags me to the Christmas tree and sits down by the foot of the tree as she takes some gifts and separates all the gifts on who owns the Christmas presents. "From Dick to Alfred." She says and places the present on the couch. She does the same with the other gifts. "This is from Bruce, Tim."

I place the present down and stand up. Suddenly I find myself giving the little girl a squeeze. "I-I can't believe you're here!"

"Of course I'm here. Where else did I go?"

"I-I just...I just can't believe you're alive!"

"Um...I've always been alive. Tim. I've always been here. Where else would I go?"

"You...you left Autumn. You were gone." I put her down and crouch to stare straight into her eyes.

She shakes her head. "No I'm not. I'm right here Tim. I didn't go anywhere." She smiles.

"It's just...I thought...I thought you died…"

"Well then it must've been a dream. Because I'm right here Timmy!" She grins at me. "I told you I'd be here always didn't I? Why would I leave?"

I laugh. "Yeah you're right." I let go of her. "But don't you ever scare me like that ever again! This is great. We can be a family again! I'll go wake Bruce and everyone else up!" I start moving towards the stairs, but then I feel a small hand tug at the back of my shirt.

"No! Timmy! They're asleep! Don't wake them up!"

I turn to the little girl who's hardly half my size. "Okay." I nod and smile.

She sits back down at the bottom of the tree, and I sit beside her as we open our presents. I notice a decor fall off the tree, and when I place it back on the tree, I notice that the angel on top of the tree is missing. "Hey. Where did the angel go?" I ask as I sit back down beside my little sister.

She's too busy opening her present to answer. I shrug and watch the little girl open her presents.

"You know Timmy. Everyone's happy." She says, ripping open one present. "Even Mister Bruce." Then she looks back up at me. "Everyone except you. You're not as happy as everyone else is." She says with a small smile with curiosity glistening from her eyes.

I look down. "They're not really happy Autumn. They're just sad. They're just pretending."

She shakes her head. "Sure they're a little sad. But...they're also happy. Happy because they have their family. You're the only one pretending Timmy." She looks into my eyes.

"It's not nice to be sad."

"But I can't help it." I pause. "I have to feel sad...because...because I lost someone I care about...everyone I love is dead…"

"You don't have to feel sad. And sure your parents are gone, but what about your Mister Bruce, and my other big brothers and my big sister? They're not gone."

I nod slightly. "Yeah...but...I can't just celebrate Christmas with someone missing."

"Who's missing?"

I stop and look down, trying to remember who's missing. Then I look at the child who's opening her presents. I notice this warm but sad feeling inside of me. "You…" My littlest sister is missing.

But then she smiles at me. "It's not real. You're not really here…" I say sadly. "It's all just a dream. I'm not really happy for real."

The world starts to quake, but then she hugs me and the world stops crumbling. "Then make it real. If you really believe that I'm gone forever, then I'm really gone forever...at least...in your eyes. If you really think you're sad. Then you will be sad."

"Sometimes Timmy a fake smile can turn into a real one." She lets go and smiles at me. "Stop being so sad!" She pulls the edges of my mouth and turns it into a smile.

"But-"

"Butts are for pooping! Now do it for me! I'll never be happy if you're not happy! Plus I already told you Timmy! I'm not gone! I'm right here! I didn't go anywhere!" She says in a happy tone. "I'll always be here! I don't just leave my brothers, big or small!"

"Now. I wanna open more presents!" She lets go and crawls back to the Christmas tree.

I feel a weight in my hand, so I look down and see that it's the white angel that's supposed to be on top of the tree. I turn it around and see the mark: made in China.

I smile and place it back on top of the Christmas tree.

"Everybody wake up! It's Christmas! Wake up!" I open my eyes.

Chris's POV

I hear someone yelling, but I only catch some of what they're saying. "Everybody- It's- Up!"

Someone bursts into my room, but I don't bother lifting my head from beneath the blanket.

"Chris! Get up!" Dick.

"Why..." I moan.

"What do you mean why? IT'S CHRISTMAS!" He yells in my ear. I smack his face by instinct as my eyes widen under the bed. Suddenly, I'm fully awake.

I push myself up quickly. "OH MY GOD IT'S CHRISTMAS."

Dick starts laughing. "You sound like you forgot."

"I did..." Good dreams tend to make my brain forget stuff.

He stares at me with wide eyes. "How...? It's Christmas!"

I jump out of bed and as I run past him, I say, "Shut up it's Christmas!"

I hear him run after me as I run to the stairs. Instead of running down the stairs, I just jump onto the banister and slide down it as if it's a slide, my feet lifted up slightly so it doesn't hit every step as I go down the staircase.

"Merry Christmas Miss Christine." His voice is warm grandfather-like, and all British, but the look on his face tells me that he's trying to hide his annoyance with my actions. I remember I slid down the stairwell a few times when I was ten, but I stopped after Alfred got annoyed.

"Merry Christmas Alfred." I smile at him.

"Merry Christmas Master Richard."

"Merry Christmas Alfie." Dick gives him a hug but is careful not to knock over any of the hot chocolate on his tray.

Dick gives me a look, trying to tell me something. I get his mental message.

"I'll hug him after he puts down the hot chocolate. I might accidentally spill some."

Dick smiles and runs over to the Christmas tree after grabbing a mug. I walk up to Alfred, give him a half hug, get my mug, and walk over to the tree.

"Who are these from?" Dick asks, pointing to a pile to the left of the tree.

"Oh those are the presents my friends gave me."

He pushes them all to the side as he continues sorting the presents, muttering as he does so. "Me...Timmy...Little D...Chris...Timmy again...Jason...Bruce...Alfred...Alfred..."

"Merry Christmas Master Damian." Signals Damian's arrival.

"Did you guys see him?" He asks.

I turn around as he grabs his hot chocolate, a sword in his hand, still sheathed.

"Damian! I told you Santa's a nice guy."

"But he defies all logic! There is no way a man that fat can fit in a chimney, and he can't possess magic because one of our magic-wielding colleagues would have warned us about him, and there is no one that nice who would give presents to every single good child in the world. And-"

"Damian. Shut up and be happy. You have presents. Santa isn't gonna kill anyone." I smile at him. He looks at me for a bit, then throws his sword on the nearby couch and helps Dick sort through the presents.

"Guys! It's snowing!" Tim's voice says from behind me. I don't even turn around to look behind me. I immediately run to the window like Dick and Damian and stare outside. Sure enough, there are tiny flakes of snow gracefully falling onto the inches of snow on the property. I can't believe I didn't even look outside and notice!

"I'll wake up Jason. You guys dress warm. We're gonna have a snowball fight!" We all run up the stairs (except for Tim who's already up there), smiles on our faces and the Christmas spirit inside of us.

****Break****

I lean out of the way right before a snowball can hit my face. Immediately, I throw the snowball in my hand at Jason's face, but he avoids the snowball and throws another one at me. I move to the side and avoid getting hit.

It's Tim, Damian, and I against Dick and Jason. We built some crappy forts for defense. We're on a rotation. Right now, Tim is making `the snowballs while Damian and I are throwing them at Dick at Jason.

Damian gets hit in the arm. Our rule is if you get hit, you're out for 10 seconds. He grunts and leans on the fort, out of the line of fire.

"Tim help me out here! I'm all alone and they're killing me." I dodge snowballs back and forth, but at the rate and speed they're going I'm going to get hit.

"8...9...10. YAAAAHHHHH!" Suddenly, Damian leaps from behind the fort, crashes through it and destroys it, and runs at Dick and Jason's fort with two snowballs in each hand.

"Come at me you little twerp!" Jason yells as he and Dick continue throwing snowballs at him, but they are slowly backing away.

Dick throws a snowball and it hits him in the stomach, but Damian keeps charging.

"Damian! The rules! You're dead!"

Damian still charges, but I notice that Dick and Jason both have smiles on their faces.

"C'mon!" I pull Tim up by the arm then pick up four snowballs. I charge at them, yelling a battle cry.

Damian reaches the enemy fort and kicks through it, but Jason and Dick are already running, turning around to throw the occasional snowball. The five of us run around in the snow for a while until Jason's foot sinks through a spot in the snow.

"Jason! No!" Dick yells.

"Leave me! Save yourself!"

Dick starts laughing, and so does Jason, and when Damian tackles Jason he starts laughing maliciously. As I charge for Dick, he stands in his spot, his arms spread wide.

"I will join you in death brother." He says dramatically, and Jason laughs.

I throw all my snowballs at him, then leap and tackle him to the ground. We both fall into the snow in laughter.

Tim has leaped into the snow and is just lying there, laughing. By the manor I notice Bruce and Alfred watching us. To them, we probably look like a bunch of laughing lunatics. But that's okay. 'Cause we're a crazy family.

****Break****

It's already nighttime?! What the hell? Christmas flew by so quickly! We spent the morning opening presents. Bruce got me tickets for the Supernatural convention! I didn't even know there is gonna be one! Dick got me a gray sweater with a cool pattern on it. Jason just got me a gift card for Forever 21. I don't even like that place... Tim got me a shirt that says "Come to the Dork Side We Have ?." Damian got me season 5 of Supernatural on DVD. I didn't even think he knew what I liked.

But my personal favorite gift is the Supernatural anti-possession sigil necklace one of my close friends got me. She's an old friend from the orphanage. We were friends when we were four or something, but she got adopted. But just two years ago she found out that I was living here and showed up at my school one day. Ever since then, we've had the chance to get close again.

Now, all six of us are sitting on the roof looking out at Gotham (Alfred refused to come up here. He prefers the upstairs bedroom window below us). I'm sitting in between Dad and Dick. I'm leaning on Bruce, and he has his arm over my shoulder.

"Gotham looks really pretty at night." Tim comments next to Jason.

"Especially on Christmas." Dick states.

"The lights really remove the darkness factor of Gotham." I say.

"Someone looking at Gotham for the first time wouldn't think that it was so infected and filled with grief." Jason says next to Tim.

"Because it's worse." Damian says on the other side of Bruce.

"But you know what? It's okay. Because we're all here together to keep some light in Gotham. And in ourselves." Bruce says.

It's ironic, really, how we're supposed to keep the light in when we use darkness as our friend and ally when we're out in the field.

From the manor, we can hear the faint sound of the Christmas concert going on in the park. I imagine the crowd of people laughing, having a good time. A good time for us is different, though. All we need is each other and a moment of calm, where there's no villain to worry about or no family matters bringing us down. Sure, we have an issue in our midst, but I'm glad we can get past it for today. Sometimes I just wish that we could have more of these moments.

Bruce kisses my head as some of the lights begin to fade from Gotham's skylight.

"Merry Christmas." Bruce mutters loud enough for all of us to hear, as if he's scared of breaking the moment.

"Merry Christmas." We all say in unison as we continue to look out at the city of lights.

****Break****

Dick's POV

Christmas was awesome! We opened a bunch of presents, had dinner together, listened to the Christmas music, and got drunk on Alfred's famous hot chocolate! Christmas was fun, although Barbara had to go home to her dad to spend Christmas with him. She and I did get under the mistletoe for a while before she left on Christmas eve.

Although Christmas was a blast, it flew by like a little bird growing up. In all honesty, nothing was missing, even though one spot was left completely empty. I didn't feel as if anything or anyone was missing. And I think I wasn't the only one who felt that we were complete either.

Bruce even laughed! Jason was grinning. Tim was genuinely happy. Chris well...let's just say that she did have fun. And Damian, I think I saw him smile...brightly. Alfred stood with us too, smiling, like the awesome grandfather he has always been.

But it's the 31st now, and we're moving onto a new year and letting go of the past. New Year's about turning over a new leaf, forgetting about the past and moving onto the future.

But I know no one will ever really forget. At least not the good memories. New year's a perfect time to forget the pain, forget the horrible things we've done. But as we forget the pain, we'll hold onto the joys. We'll never forget the good memories, who could? Who would want to?

People say the good memories hurt more than the bad ones. But the good memories are all that's left. People also say that memories make us who we are. If we hold onto the bad ones, then what are we? Are we bad people too?

It's actually impossible to say that "all I have are bad memories. I don't have any good ones." Don't come up with that excuse to turn evil or depressed. Because if you convince yourself that you really can't go on anymore...then you've already lost the battle.

Sure it's a never ending battle, but you need to keep going, need to keep fighting. I need to keep fighting. Because if I don't...then who will?

That's why I'm moving forward and not looking back, and hopefully the rest of the family can do the same.

The view from the manor is awesome. On the outskirts of Gotham, we can see the entire city and all the fireworks lighting up the night sky.

From the windows of our bedrooms, we can clearly see the display of fireworks. But instead we all stand in Bruce's study by the huge window watching as the fireworks fizzle in the sky. 'BOOM!' Even from here, I can hear the loud sound of the different kinds of fireworks.

It's amazing how even a crime infested city, one of the darkest cities in America, can have some light. "Woah…" Tim and Chris gasp. "Tt." Damian smugly stands in front of me but doesn't tear his eyes off of the window.

As a bright orange firework explodes in the sky, for a moment I see all of our reflections in the window. Bruce, me, Jason, Tim, Chris, Damian. As the light fades, so do our dim reflections.

Bruce smiles. "It's amazing. Isn't it, Dad?" I mumble as he stands behind me.

"Yes it is, son. It is."

I look at my watch. 12:00. "Happy new year guys!"