Chapter 49: Awakening

Dick's POV

I have no idea whether things are getting better or much, much worse…

Bruce is concentrating more on playing Batman than playing father. Although Tim is acting all strong, I know he's scared and worried. Damian...well...I'm not really sure anymore and I'm worried. Chris...still unconscious, not sure when she'll wake up. Our cover story for her school is the flu, but I don't know how long we'll have to keep that up.

And Jason...damnit, Jason! Wake up! What is wrong with you? I know you're dying too...probably just as bad as Chris, or maybe even worse...you're getting paler everyday, you're getting bony...and we need you.

Both you and Chris….

If we lose either of you...goddamnit...I don't know what the hell I'm gonna do….

What if...what if you die and Chris lives? What Chris dies and you live? I-I can't…

I look up at the sky, tears prickling at the edge of my eyes. My hands bury further into my pockets as the wind plays with my hair. The sun is just coming up at the horizon, in a blend of orange and light blue with thin wisps of clouds mellowing the colors.

I hang my head back down and gaze at the slab of stone in front of me.

Autumn Skylar Cross

A small smile tugs at the edge of my lips and I subconsciously bring up my hand to rub at the back of my neck. I feel uncomfortable in the girl's presence since we were never really close.

"Hey." I mutter, staring at the stone and memorizing each stroke on the letters. "Yeah sorry, I only came to visit now...how long has it been since you've...passed? Days, weeks, months?" I chuckle bitterly as my hand drops back to my side. "Feels like years."

"I don't know what happened but everything just seemed to fall apart since you left...weird, huh? Like the whole world just seemed to collapse on us just like that. I mean one minute we're all together, celebrating Christmas, there leaning on each other and the next, we're a heaping mess."

"...I know we weren't close. At all." I know she knows that too and I know there's no use in sugar coating it. "I mean we've known each other as complete enemies longer than allies."

"I know, I'm pretty much an idiot. This is like Jason's first life all over again. Me being well...a dick...first, I couldn't accept you into the family and then I didn't even mourn your death. Call me selfish, I guess." I shrug. "I wouldn't blame you if you hate me for stuff but I just...I just need someone to talk to."

My hands bury deeper into my pockets. "And right now...you're the only one I can talk to. Probably the only one who'll listen too...and could probably relate."

I begin with a heavy sigh. "You know what's been going on, right? Sh*t's been going down...and I think my speech is becoming more like Jason's...now that he's not here. But he rubs off on you…" I smile slightly, "his cocky sense of humor, annoying attitude, and love for getting drunk...he rubs off…" My voice trails away with the wind as I hope that my words will be carried off to wherever she is.

I frown. "I-I don't wanna lose my family again….they can't do this again...not again. I already lost it once. They can't take Chris or Jason...or anyone. If I could just control fate, I would make it take me instead…." I whisper.

As the wind blows and breathes in my ear, I can hear a faint smooth whisper...or maybe I'm just imagining things, I'm not sure...but I know it's there….

Don't worry Dick. You'll get through it. Don't worry. It's all going to be alright in the end, you'll see.

I smile.

Tim's POV

The sun is just coming up. I know because I've been staring at the night sky, waiting for it to no longer be the 'night' sky. How long have I been up? I don't know. I was awake when Dick left the house to do...something. I would've come out and asked him where he was going, but I didn't want to bother him.

Why have I been awake for so long? I couldn't sleep. I got back from patrol and went straight to bed. But then I had a nightmare...

I was out on patrol, like usual, with Batman scouting on the other side of the roof. I was looking through my cowl's built-in binoculars when on the roof a few buildings away I saw Chris. Just standing there on the edge as she looked down at her feet.

I turned around to tell Batman, but he was gone. He had spotted something and didn't feel the need to tell me. But I didn't have time to dwell on that. In a swift motion, I turned around and jumped over the gap between my building and the next building. I kept running and jumping, running and jumping, but no matter how many buildings I jumped across, I never got closer to Chris. I tried to yell at her, but my voice wasn't working.

After a while, I just stopped. Suddenly, I was right next to Chris. She hadn't seen me. She was just looking at her bare feet, her loose t-shirt – the shirt she's wearing right now in her bedroom – flapping in the wind. The cars below were just driving by, and the many lights of the city faintly lit the background, but her figure remained dark.

"Chris?" My voice was working now. I went to reach my hand out to her when suddenly her head jerked up to me. She was wide eyed, and her heart beat was so loud it was hurting my ears.

"G–Get away from me!" She said, fear in her voice. She moved away from me, her feet dancing on the edge of the tall building.

"What's wrong? Why are you here?" I moved closer to her, but the closer I tried to get, the more she backed away.

"Please...just stop... I don't want this anymore!" Tears were flowing down her cheeks.

I knew I was scaring her, but why? I stopped moving, and I loosened my stance. She was standing at the very edge of the building.

"Christine. Please step away from the ledge. Take my hand." I outstretched my hand toward her, and she winced. The wind grew stronger, and I started to struggle with balancing on the edge.

She frantically shook her head. "No...no...you're just gonna hurt me again..."

"What are you talking about? I would never hurt you."

More tears traced her face. "Th–That's what you said last time I trusted you..."

"Christine I–" Her eyes widened, cutting me off. At that moment, I sensed someone behind me. I swiftly turned around to face...

Myself

I saw the evil smirk on his–my face right before he punched my jaw and sent me away from the ledge and onto the flat cement roof.

I recovered from the unexpected attack just in time to see Tim 2.0's attention shift from me to Christine. 2.0 slowly approached her, and Christine was shaking in fear.

"So this is where you've run away to." The cold voice that sounded like mine said. He tsked her, that evil smirk still on his face. "You know you're not supposed to do that." I sounded so...evil... My heartbeat increased as I heard Christine's own heartbeat quicken in my ears.

Evil Tim 2.0 suddenly looked at me, and I could get a better look at him. The cowl was pulled off, revealing a very pale face, crazed bloodshot eyes, and messy hair. But only for a second. The moment I had seen the terrifying sight, it returned to tame hair and a normal face, except for the evil smirk and scary glint in his eyes.

"And you replaced me? Oh someone's in a lot of trouble." Evil Tim looked at Christine, and immediately she was flung in my direction by an unknown force. She landed hard a few feet away from me.

"Chris!" I yelled and scrambled over to her. I quickly rolled her onto her back so I could make sure she was okay. My gaze went to her face, but the first thing I noticed wasn't her increased tears or her very, very scared demeanor. No, the first thing I noticed was all the scars decorating her face. Scars. I hadn't noticed them earlier on the ledge, but somehow I knew that they were always there. I went to touch her arm, to make sure she was okay, but she cowered away from my touch.

"Who...who did this to you?" I realized there were more cuts and bruises on her arms.

Between tears, I heard her whisper, "You."

"You did this." I looked up to where the voice had come from, right above my head. I saw myself looking down at me. "This is all your fault. Everything's your fault."

"No it's not." I stood up to face him, my eyes narrowed. "You did this, whoever you are. You may look like me, but you're not me. I would never hurt my sister."

His smirk changed to an evil grin. "Oh really?"

Suddenly, I was no longer standing face to face with myself. I was looking straight into Chris' eyes. She was coughing at me, the light slowly dying from her eyes. It was then that I realized I was standing on the ledge and holding her by her neck over the busy street, squeezing the life out of her. In my other hand was a knife. My eyes widened at the realization that I couldn't let go of either. I had no control over my body.

I couldn't tear my eyes away from Christine's eyes, but in the corner of my eyes I could see Evil Me standing in the same position as me, except without the knife or my sister in his grasp. "Okay so here's what you do, since you obviously have no idea what you're doing."

"Stop this! Now!" I demand, but he only chuckles and continues what he was going to say.

"First, you stab your sister." He brought the hand that would have the knife to where Chris would be. In time with his movements, my arm moved, and the knife digged into Christine's chest. She screamed, and I couldn't look away to avoid seeing the pain in her eyes.

"Chris! I'm sorry! I can't stop him!" I could feel tears threatening to fall.

"Oh that won't do. One more time!" His hand moved, and I stabbed her stomach. She screamed in pain again, and the tears fell.

Chris' tears hit my gloves as she cried harder and harder. I could see the blood staining her t-shirt, and the sight of her, the knowledge and feeling that I had caused this, made all of my tears come out. I didn't want to do this. This wasn't supposed to be happening.

"And then...you drop her! Goodbye!" My grip loosened on her neck, but right before she fell I heard her whisper, "Goodbye, Timothy."

My tears fell as she fell. I still had no control over any part of my body, so I couldn't even see her fall. It was probably better that way, though, or else I would've been crying more.

"Oh well, looks like there's no more reason to control your body, or even be here. But it was nice hanging out, right? See you next time, me!" Immediately when he disappeared into thin air and I regained control of my body, I jumped off the building and dove after my sister.

I was slowly catching up to her limp body, but then suddenly voices filled my head.

"You can't save her. You can't save me. You can't save anyone. You will never be a hero, or a good brother, or even a good son."

Jason's voice. The image of his body in the BatCave flashed in my head.

"You will fail, just like you failed to prevent this from even happening." Dick's voice.

"Stop trying. You aren't strong enough." Damian.

"You can't win."

"You will always be a failure." Bruce.

"And you can't do anything about it." Christine.

That's when I woke up, sweating and panting. I jerked myself up and pushed off the covers. I ran out of my bedroom, still keeping quiet, and rushed into Chris' room. I ran to her bed, and when I saw her, safe and asleep in her coma, my entire body relaxed.

I collapsed onto the floor, simply lying there, and started to calm myself down.

I was probably there in that position for a good 5 minutes before I stood up again and wiped the tear that had managed to escape during that episode.

"Thank God..." I whispered as I ran my hands through my hair and made my way back to my room. I got back in bed and rubbed my face with my hands. I tried to go back to sleep, but I just couldn't. I was still shaken up. So I got up and just sat by my window, waiting for the sun to come up as a way to calm down.

I was like that for almost 4 hours. Now that the sun is up, I feel calmer. I stand up and go into the bathroom to freshen up. Once I'm done, I put on a shirt and walk out of my room.

I pass by Chris' room, but I don't get very far from her door when something catches my attention, stopping me in my tracks.

Shuffling.

I listen carefully, and I hear the sound of a pan hitting other pans downstairs. Alfred is preparing breakfast, nowhere near this floor. Everyone else is asleep. Meaning...

I turn around and knock on her door. "Chris? Are you awake?"

"Who's there?" The voice that responds is raspy and quiet, but audible.

Chris! She's finally awake!

But there's something wrong. I can feel it. Not just with the atmosphere around her room, but with her voice. She sounded uncertain and a bit...fearful...almost like she did in the nightmare. But I quickly shake that out of my head to focus on what's happening in real life.

"It's Tim. Timothy, your brother." But...is it possible that...that she's lost her memory? That the next time she sees me, in a few seconds, she'll be looking at me through different eyes? That I'll be someone completely different to her? It is a possibility... Bruce and Alfred said so...

So I have to prepare for the worst.

"Oh...okay...you can come in."

I cautiously turn the knob and open the door. When I step into her room, I see her sitting up in her bed, an uncertain expression on her face. She has a slight frown on as she studies me.

"Can I come over there?" I say, referring to where she is. I need to make sure I'm cautious. Don't want to scare her, if she has lost her memory.

She thinks about it for a second, looking into my eyes as if searching for any signs that I could be dangerous. "Yeah...sure."

I approach her bed, and I see her tense a bit.

"Where am I, um..." She looks down as she tries to recall how I introduced myself. "...Timothy?"

"At home." She frowns more at that. "What's the last thing you remember?"

She looks at the sheets and frowns even harder than before, like she's really trying hard to think. Her eyes widen a bit. "I...I don't know...I can't remember...anything..." There's a lost look in her eyes as she frowns.

"Hey." I say gently, trying to catch her attention. The lost look in her eyes dissipates a bit once I catch her attention again. She looks at me, and the uncertainty is replaced by fear. "It's okay. I can help you. I know other people who can help you remember, too."

"Why...why can't I remember anything?" Her face portrays that she's freaking out.

I pause for a second. Which way do I go with this: the cautious way or the straightforward way? Whenever Bruce doesn't completely tell me what's going on, I end up getting mad at him. But right now is different from all those other times I've had with Bruce and Dick and, well, everyone who has withheld information from me. Being straightforward and telling her the blunt truth - that I have no idea - could trigger something in her brain. People with lost memories are unstable and don't think much on their decisions. They just want answers. But because they want answers, they won't appreciate vagueness...so what do I say?

"I don't know." I decide.

"Then how can you help me?" There's a skeptical edge to her voice.

"Because I'm your brother."

Her eyes narrow and her demeanor changes. "I don't have a brother. At least I don't think so..." She pauses. Everything seems calm for a second. But it's always calm before the storm.

Suddenly, she looks up at me, eyes narrowed. Anger created through fear, uncertainty, and mistrust mixed together radiates throughout her entire body.

"So who the hell are you?" The edge in her voice reminds me of Nightingale. Especially on those nights when she would just have a scary ferocity around her, taking down perps without caring if they'd be seriously injured or not. I would say it's like how Jason used to act when he was an older Robin. But really, it's like how all of us vigilantes act on those certain nights when we just need to let off steam.

"Christine...you do have a brother. Multiple, actually. You just don't remember."

"What are you talking about?! And who's Christine?" She yells.

She's lost her memory...she's forgotten everything...

Before I can answer, I hear footsteps in the hallway quicken and before I know it Dick is next to me.

"Chris! Oh my god you're awake...finally!" He's about to hug her when I hold him back. Chris reacts by jumping out of the bed and standing up, her entire body tense. Dick and I stand across from her, only the bed between us.

I answer the question I know Dick is asking in his head. "She's forgotten who we are. Lost her memory." I can hear the hint of sadness in my voice. I just hope Dick didn't.

"Chris it's okay there's no need to be scared." I try to continue my attempts to keep her calm and assuage her fears and anger.

"No! It's not okay! I don't remember a thing! I can't trust you guys! Maybe...maybe you guys kidnapped me or something! I need to figure what's going on!" She backs into the large window behind her, frowning and holding her head in confusion. She starts to breathe heavily. Her realization of her lack of knowledge reflects through her eyes.

"We can help you." Dick says cautiously. I look at him. In his eyes are obvious hurt. Just seeing Dick with hurt in his eyes makes me sad. Makes me fear what will happen next...

"There's no need to be scared." I look into her eyes, trying my best to emphasize how genuine I am through my eyes. It seems to work as she calms down a bit. That is, until she hears the many footsteps in the hallway. Her eyes widen.

"Please...just leave me alone! I...I have to figure this out... This is...overwhelming..." She voices as she holds her head. I see the fear, worry, and uncertainty churning in her mind through her eyes. Her eyes widen even more when everyone else enters the room behind me. Then they narrow a bit. "LEAVE ME ALONE!"

Before Dick and I can stop her, she opens the window, jumps onto the tiny porch, and jumps over the edge.

Bruce rushes past Dick and I, jumps onto the porch, and looks over the edge before any of us can. I look down over the porch and see where she had landed: a group of bushes. As she swiftly runs across the property, there are some visible scratches on her back and on her shirt from the bush. She's having a hard time running because of the scratches on her feet.

"Shall we go after her, Father?" Damian asks from behind us.

I turn around and take in everyone in the room: Bruce next to me, Damian in front of me, and Dick and Alfred still standing in the room.

"No. Not yet, at least. We don't want to overwhelm her and chase her further away. The last thing we want to do is bring her back against her will, and that's what will happen if we chase her away." I study Bruce's face. He's deep in thought, processing what's happened. He'll want more answers from me later, since I was the first to see her when she woke up.

I look at Damian. He's frowning. He doesn't have a full grasp of what's going on because he didn't even see Chris when she woke up and started freaking out, but he knows that the situation is grim.

Dick still has the hurt and shock evident on his face, but it's been pushed aside by a look similar to Bruce's, probably also accompanied by the same thoughts.

Alfred looks sad. Sad for Chris, sad for all of us. But I also know he's scared. Because he can already see what's going to happen next.

The only one missing is Jason. And Jason, well, he's spoken for...

And what do I look like? I don't know. I don't want to think about me. I'm just worried for my sister.

I turn back to the grass and look out at the property. Chris is slipping through the gates and about to make her way to Gotham City.

Scenes from my nightmare play in my mind. I don't want her to get hurt out there in the streets of Gotham without us to keep her safe. Even though I'm sure she can handle herself to an extent – memory loss kind of messes with your coordination and thinking – I'm not a huge fan of just leaving her in Gotham to fend for herself, especially since we don't know exactly where she is. Once we figure out what's really going on here, and once we know how to handle the situation, we will find our Chris. And we will bring her home.