"I know" I said quietly, looking across at him.
I couldn't make my mind up. I was still in the middle of three emotions; depression, anger, and agony.
"Friedrich..." he said quietly. I looked at him, but he didn't continue. I watched as the blood from his lip continued to pool down his chin and drip onto the white shirt that covered his chest.
How was I supposed to forgive after everything he put me through? After he had my heart, my everything, then fucking destroyed it in the courtyard that afternoon? After he ripped away my last attempt at being happy by ending the pain once and for all?
I sighed heavily and looked up at him; his entire figure looked defeated and unguarded, even his typically well-styled brown hair had become completely disheveled. The mysterious figure that I'd fallen so hard for, then been crushed by, just sat there against my dresser and looked at me with no guard up at all.
How was I not supposed to forgive him? Or at least give him the chance he was begging me for?
This was the weakest I'd ever seen him, maybe even the weakest I'd ever seen anyone (save for myself) here at the academy. He had obviously regretted everything he'd done to me, right? Otherwise he wouldn't be here right now? Otherwise he wouldn't have just let me beat the shit out of him?
He wouldn't be sitting there begging me to give him another chance if he didn't mean it, right?
I shook my head as I sat there unable to make my mind up, not keeping eye contact with him. What was I supposed to say?
"Please..." his voice cracked, catching my attention. I looked up to find his hands folded together and his expression revealing he was about to break down.
"I'm begging you..."
Someone so strong, someone with so much to be happy about, begging me to forgive them and give them a second chance. For Christs sake, he could have anyone he fucking wanted...
"Why me?" I questioned.
He responded immediately
"Because you're different, because I see so much in you that I don't see in other people."
He went quiet for a moment, running his hand through his hair to try and get it out of the way of his eyes.
"Because I feel something for you I've never felt for anyone else."
"Whats your girlfriend going to say about this?" I questioned.
"My girlfriend? What girlfriend?"
I looked at him confused, trying to remember what he'd said on the glider about 'not telling his girlfriend' he'd grabbed me.
"You said you had a girlfriend on the glider"
It seemed to suddenly dawn on him, and he rolled his eyes.
"It was just something I said to try and keep you off track about how I felt" he desperately said.
"So there's no girlfriend?"
"Not in a few months" he replied. We were quiet for awhile again.
"You're not fake" he muttered out, looking down at his feet. "Its like its not possible for you, and I fucking love that."
He paused, trying to find his words.
"You have this air about you that just... its so different from everyone else at this shitty place that its addicting. You're not trying to be anything else than yourself and its exactly what I've been looking for."
From there, I just stared at him for awhile. I don't know what overcame me, but he was so gorgeous, even sitting there.
"Okay..." I whispered.
"Okay?"
"I'll give it... you... another shot."
He let out an exasperated sigh of relief, and leaned back, lying on the floor.
"Thank you so much" he let out.
I smiled and scooted forward, taking his hand in mind. He turned his head towards me and stared for awhile, before sitting up and leaning towards me.
"You're not going to be alone in this." he whispered.
"Alone in what?"
He reached his hand out and held the side of my head, running his fingers through my hair before I felt him tap the side of my head.
"With fighting whats in there."
I smiled, though I couldn't form words to reply to him. His hand moved from the side of my head to the back of my neck and slowly pulled me forward as he cocked his head slightly to the side. I pulled back, and he looked at me surprised.
"We can't just go back to where we were before everything happened."
His hand slid away from my neck and returned to his lap. He looked at me for awhile, before nodding forlornly.
'That doesn't mean you have to be cruel' a part of my head told me.
I sighed and leaned forward, placing my hand on the back of his neck. He looked up with a surprised expression just as I pressed my lips into his and kissed him passionately. As his arms wrapped around my body, I ran my hand down his side from his ribs to his hip.
He pulled back slightly, whispered "Mein Schatz", then continued our kiss.
It didn't last more than five seconds before I pulled away, but he smiled brightly. I couldn't help but bite my lower lip, ignoring the taste of blood from his wound on my lips.
I didn't know why, but somehow that wound just... changed things.
'Jesus fucking christ... that's the Crown Prince I just kissed!'
We both rose to our feet a few minutes later, and I watched as he peaked his head out of my room for a moment, before returning.
"Hmm, seems like they left" he remarked.
I nodded; I guess he hadn't seem them peaking in on us in the middle of our kiss.
"You should go, god forbid someone sees us" I remarked.
"What are they going to do?" he questioned, pulling at the rank patch on his shoulder.
"I don't know" I shrugged, smiling. "Tell everyone?"
"We'll just have to make sure everyone knows before that becomes a problem."
"How do you propose going about that?"
"Oh, I have my ideas."
"Despite your position and your family?"
"My family knows what I am. They've known for a year or two now. My Dad's just picky about who I choose."
I looked at him curiously; it never truly hit me what it meant being with him, especially considering our countries... current outlook on people like me.
You know, gay people.
"He didn't, you know, freak out when you told him?" I questioned him, sitting on the edge of my bed.
"I mean, he wasn't happy at first ofcourse, it took him some time to get used to the concept, and he probably still needs to be shoved along, he's just worried about who I end up with."
"What do you mean, who you end up with?"
He sat down next to me and sighed.
"He's probably just worried I'll end up like one of those guys in the American pride parades, you know? Speedo and all that? He doesn't want me to be an embaressment"
I couldn't help but blush wildly at the image of him in nothing but one of those speedos and a pride flag stuck in the side.
"I really don't see that" I remarked, looking him up and down. "You're very prim and proper."
"Eh, when I have to be I am." he shrugged.
"So it seems like you always have to be, judging by how you're always dressed and acting?"
"I mean, yeah?"
"But don't worry, you're exactly the kind of guy that my parents'll swoon over" he smiled.
I nodded slowly. Though I hadn't tried to think about it, the prospect of meeting his Father and Mother, the Emperor and Empress, was absolutely fucking terrifying.
"And if I were to say 'no' to meeting them?" I questioned, smiling.
He leaned forward, whispering; "Leck mich am Arsch!"
I smirked, responding;
"Sei doch nicht so macho, eh?"
He leaned forward and pecked his lips against mine, pulling away shortly after.
"I'm just being myself"
"Which is how I prefer you" I responded.
I watched as he stood up and looked me over, reaching his hand out.
"Damn you'd look so good in a tux..."
I took his hand and he pulled me up, though I gave him an inquisitive look.
"A tux? For what?"
"Oh, nothing."
I looked at him curiously, but he didn't provide an answer. I watched as he walked over to my door and fiddled with the doorknob that was clearly half broken.
"I don't know if I'm comfortable with you in here overnight without a door that locks."
"We're not even allowed to lock our doors, Albrecht" I responded.
He looked at me confused, shaking his head.
"What do you mean?"
"We aren't allowed..."
"Whats the point then?"
I shrugged.
"Stupid fuckin' place."
"I'll be fine, I promise you."
He nodded.
"I'll wake you up in the morning just to be sure."
I squinted at him;
"Why do you need to do that?"
"I mean, tomorrows Sunday."
"And?"
"You're going to say no to me taking you out on Sunday brunch?"
"I mean, are we really ready for our first date?"
He sighed, though with a smile on his face.
"I mean, why not?" he asked.
I couldn't really give him a good excuse, though in truth once he left I'd look at my wallet to make sure I could actually afford it.
"We'll see" I replied, smirking.
I looked over at the pistol that lay on the floor next to my dresser, and slowly walked over to it. As I bent over to pick it up, I could hear his boots carrying him across the room.
"I'd also feel safe keeping that, wherever you got it from."
"Armory" I replied, scanned over it As I looked towards him, he leaned in and ran the back of his hand against the burn mark that it had made on my neck. His other hand gripped the pistol and pulled it out of my hand, and slipped it in his pocket.
"I'll return it, then."
I nodded, shrugging.
"Just make sure to actually return it, alright? I can't afford the late fee" I asserted.
He nodded, smiling.
"You don't need to worry about that kind of stuff"
There was a hell of a lot of work to do before we got back to where we needed to be, but maybe, just maybe, it'd work.