School has started back *starts crying*, and I can already hear my grades crashing and burning. Can you hear it too?
So as usual be patient about my updating and I'll try to update as often as I can.
So this is the plan:
1. I'm adding more Fourtris. But don't expect them to do anything that's all mushy and overly affectionate. I don't want to be sick while writing this.
2. There's some Mona stuff coming up. It's gon get messy.
3. Olivia and Matthew will happen. I'm just trying figure out how to get them together.
4. Truth or Dare is coming up too because you can't have a Divergent fanfic without a good game of Truth or Dare.
Tris POV
I find myself in the office one again delivering something for Mr. Grambush. I think he thinks I'm his little mail carrier or something.
As I make my way from the assistant principal's office I pass by the nurses office to find Olivia in one of the chairs outside the nurses office with a bandage around her wrist and an uneaten snickers bar in her lap.
"Liv what happened" I ask eyeing her. She just shrugs.
"I didn't take my anti depressant and I just tried to kill myself...again" she says emotionless. My mouth flies open as I process what she just said. Again? What does she mean again. Is she like Al was? Suicidal and mentally unstable.
"What do you mean again" I ask my voice full of concern.
"The fifteenth time. I wasn't a good try, considering all the other things I've tried. Hanging myself, cutting, jumping out of my window, lying in the middle of the street and waiting of a car to hit me, starvation, overdosing, immense alcohol intake, making making Marcus mad, and other shit"
My mouth falls open again and tears start to form in my eyes. She's worse than Al. The though of losing another friend makes my head spin and tears form.
"Why do you want to kill youself" I croak through my emotional state.
"I want to escape. You may see me as a funny, freindly, generally happy person...but on the inside I'm falling apart. With my nightmares, memories, depression, and lack of self worth, living isn't really appealing anymore" a tear rolls down my face. I can't believe what I'm hearing, "I mean come on, my biological father is dead, I'm ugly, I'm short, I not really worth anything, my mom will have one less mouth to feed, she won't have to spend all this money on my medication, it would be doing a lot of people a favor"
"How could you say that! Your life is worth living! Who ever told you all this bullshit" I say my voice rising with anger.
"Marcus"
My jaw clenches, that cruel son of a bitch. I grab Olivia's shoulders and force her to look at me. My blue eyes lock with her brown eyes as I say to her very firmly,"listen to me and listen good. Whatever that dickhead said to you isn't true. You are so worth it, you are drop dead gorgeous, and I'm short and look at me,people will miss you, I'll miss you so much, Four will miss you, your family will miss you, please don't kill yourself, please please please please please believe me, Liv, I love you girl, please stop"
I pull her into a tight hug and begin to cry. I can't lose another friend. I just can't handle seeing another friend lowered into the ground never to be seen again.
I pull away after a long while and wipe my eyes free of tears.
"I'll try to stop" Olivia says quietly giving me a tiny smile. I grin widely at her and squeeze her hands reassuringly.
I get up to leave but I quickly turn around and say, " gimme you booksack"
She huffs and hands me her booksack. I hold her bag up with my knee while I search the front pocket. I pull out two mall razors, a bloody pencil, her pencil sharpener, and scissors. I hold them with my ring and pinkie finger while searching the rest of her backpack for anything she can try to kill herself with. After finding the rest of her stuff clear I say, "empty your pockets"
She reaches into her pockets and pulls out another small razor and a thumb tack. I gather all her items into my hands. I motion for her to follow me. She gets up obediently and follows me out of the office. I stop at the nearest trash can and cup all the items in my hand.
"Here's one of the first steps to stopping cutting and suicide attempts: throwing away all of your self harming tools. So I want you to throw all these away along with your razors at home and anything you could use to hurt yourself. When your legs get hairy, go get them waxed"
She goes one by one picking it up, staring at it, then letting it fall into the trash. Once all of them are gone she lets out a breath. I pull her into another hug.
"Please don't hurt yourself anymore" I beg once more.
"I'll try for you and others" she bites her lip," thanks for caring"
"Of course, that's what friends do, they care"
A/N: So this is a pretty sad chapter. So Olivia isn't all rainbows and sunshine. She is very damaged.
So this is important! IF YOU ARE DEPRESSED OR SUICIDAL PLEASE DO NOT TAKE YOUR LIFE. ITS NOT WORTH IT. PLEASE DON'T DO IT! KEEP GOING I PROMISE LIFE WILL GET BETTER! IF YOU KNOW OR SUSPECT SOMEONE IS DEPRESSED OR SUICIDAL HELP THEM! REACH OUT TO THEM, MAKE THEM FEEL LOVED. GET THEM HELP EVEN, IT COULD MEAN LIFE OR DEATH FOR SOME OF THEM!
Take this message to heart. Suicide is NOT a joke.