Bonjour mes amis!
This is a lazy kinda chapter, like a build up to the next one.
Disclaimer: I dont own DGM
Merci~
"Oi Moyashi." Kanda yelled, the only warning to when he bashed open Allen's door, letting it slam and bounce of the wall behind it.
Allen could hear Komui screaming about the repairs already.
"Hey there Kanda, nice to see you're acknowledging my existence after an entire week." He growled, hiding under his covers. One, he wanted to sleep. Two, he didn't want Kanda to see his body. He'd probably tease him relentlessly.
"Don't you sass me, sprout. I'm here 'cause Komui wants us, so get your little ass into gear." He growled back.
Allen could only sigh as he walked away. He closed his eyes again, savouring the last trendils of his dream world before they faded away.
Time to face reality.
He sat up, seeing himself in his clothes from yesterday. After he had run from Lavi, he'd just collapsed into bed. Even something as simple as running exhausted him. Allen stood, making a point to slam the door closed again before he changed into something less crinkled.
He was just finishing the ribbon around his neck when he lapsed into his thoughts.
What could Komui want from them? The Earl had been reasonably quite after the Egg incident, so it couldn't have anything to do with him...right?
He certainly hoped it wasn't a mission. He wouldn't be able to fight if his life depended on it. He didn't even know if he could activate his innocence.
Some exorcist he was.
He made his way out into the hall, finding Kanda leaning against the wall next to his door. At his appearance, Kanda took off down the hall, leaving Allen with the only option to follow him. He kept up a reasonable pace, despite the soreness in his limbs from the night before.
He couldn't look weak in front of Kanda...even if the man was a few meters ahead.
It was becoming clear that Kanda didn't want to talk to him. But, he found himself not caring. At the moment, he didn't want any pity or companionship. He was not that weak that he needed someone to comfort him. No, not yet.
But it would come.
He would fight it, but it would come. And to Allen, it would mean that he would lose his dignity. He was a man – a fifteen year old one, but that was irrelevant – he was not a little girl that needed to be coddled. He was an exorcist. He had to remember his oath to both humans and akuma. They came first.
...If he could activate his damn innocence.
"Komui, Moyashi and I are here." Kanda voiced, breaking his train wreck of thoughts and bringing him back to his reality. They were in front of Komui's door, the whole trip lost to Allen. He sighed, following Kanda inside.
They settled on the couches quickly, the man studying something at his mess of a desk. The older Lee looked up at them, finally acknowledging there existence.
"Ah" he said, leaning back in his chair. "I have summoned you here for a joint mission."
Allen sat still for a moment as he absorbed this.
And in this moment, he realised there was too many things wrong with that sentence.
One, he was going on a mission.
Two...it was with Kanda.
Going on a mission with Kanda was hard enough, let alone the fact that he was virtually helpless at the moment.
He groaned, falling back into the couch and staring up at the ceiling. He felt the couch move as Kanda did the same.
"Now, now." Komui chided. "You are both young men, and I'm sure you can handle a mission...or are you both too weak to complete something Lenalee is certainly capable of?"
Illness aside, Komui really knew where to hit hard.
Both feeling their man-dignity at stake, they jumped from their slouched positions and began listening attentively. Komui smiled, watching their attitudes complete a full 180° turn.
"Now that you are both so eager, I shall begin the briefing" he said, and so he did.
The 'briefing' went on for about a hour. Filled with arguments, glares and most importantly, abuse. Verbal abuse by both parties, which soon escalated to physical violence. Kanda left the room in a bad mood and frazzled hair, but not much else. But Allen...he was a different story.
While not very obvious (apart from the classic black eye) Allen was in a lot of pain. The fighting and arguing took a lot from him. He could feel bruising flowering beneath his clothing, brushing against the fabric at every step he took.
Slowly, he made his way back to his room. The rest of the order largely ignored him, knowing full well not to approach him after a classic 'Kanda Allen Fight'. He walked inside his room, before closing the door with his head. He lent against the wood, fighting the urge to just collapse where he stood.
Everything hurt. Every breath hurt, like there was thorns scraping the inside of his lungs. He grasped at his chest, trying to level his breathing. Eventually he sunk to his knees, rolling back against the wood. He leant over, bracing his head between his knees. He focused on breathing, in and out, in and out.
His eyes scrunched shut, shutting himself from the world around him.
In, out.
He scrunched up the fabric covering his chest. He fisted it harshly, as though trying to physically rip open his chest...just to make it all stop.
Slowly, so very slowly...it faded away.
Allen sat their for a moment, reeling from the sudden absence of pain he had grown used to. Now with it gone...he felt so empty.
He had adapted to the pain, made it apart of himself. Now that it had left him...he felt like he was no longer whole.
It was a stupid feeling, he had no reason feeling it. Pain was not something to be missed, to be mourned in its passing.
But it was all too familiar to Allen.
Pain, mostly. That was a regular companion...But he also knew emptiness.
His life had been a roller coaster of love and pain, hate and envy, fulfilment and emptiness.
He could be happy one moment, and destroyed the next. That was his whole childhood in a nutshell. Eventually, he had come to terms with it. He stopped hating the world and came to appreciate it. Not love it...never love it.
He couldn't love this world, not after what it had done to him.
He was a boy of fifteen, young by the worlds standards. But, despite that...he had experienced more than most adults had or ever will.
He was abandoned, he was hated, he was adopted, he was loved, he was a murderer, he was cursed, he was left behind.
And here he was...this was where his power had led him.
Yes, this wasn't such a bad way to live. He had a bed to sleep in every night. He had enough food to feed him...it wasn't so bad, not when many others had none of that.
But Allen could bet that they didn't have a inkling of the trauma Allen suffered everyday.
And he never lost a bet.
Allen sighed, laying back against his door. He looked over to the painting above his bed, the only adornment in his bare room.
But, he did have his driving principle.
"I'll keep walking Mana, even until my dying breath." he whispered, his voice carrying in the bare room.
He had given up on Mana's forgiveness long ago. He didn't deserve it. But, he would never give up on Mana's dying wish. And he would walk this path until the day he died.
Because it was the only thing he had left.
...
Thats it for now. I'm getting there slowly. :O
Anyway, see you soon...
God Bless,
SephrinaRose