A/N: Reviews on this story were mixed. I get that, because I'm not even sure I like this story. It's dark, it's depressing, it's not fun to write like 'The Name of the Game' is. But there's something oddly compelling about writing it, so I'm going to forge ahead and see where this leads me.

I forgot to add in the last chapter. This may be slash, it may not. I can not tell you how it will end, because I don't know, not yet.

Missing you isn't the problem; it's wondering if you'll ever come back that's killing me. Author Unknown

His words caused my eyes to pop open. "What do you mean you can't find either one of them? They aren't at Puck's?"

Dad's eyes were narrow when he studied me. "Kurt, if you know where he is, you need to tell me right now. Carole is very upset."

I shook my head. "I don't know. I thought he was coming back to watch a movie with me last night, but he never showed and I finally went to bed."

He sat down on the edge of the bed. "Why didn't you call us immediately when he didn't come home?"

My heart was still feeling raw from everything that had happened last night, and I felt tears prickling at the backs of my eyes. "I didn't want to get him in trouble."

He sighed and patted my shoulder. "It's not your fault. Finn and Puck probably just got a wild hair and are lying low right now because they know that their little asses are going to get kicked if they come home."

Or maybe something happened to him. What if he's hurt? What if someone kidnapped him? What if he's dead? He could have been bleeding out in ditch somewhere, and there you were, throwing a tantrum in your nice warm living room.

I shook my head in an attempt to dislodge the voice. Finn was fine, he had to be. "What can I do?"

"Start calling some of his friends. Carole's already tried the hospital, and we're calling the bowling alley as soon as it opens. They have to be somewhere; there just aren't that many places for them to hide." He squeezed my shoulder. "Don't worry, Kurt, he'll be home soon."

He sounded completely sure of himself, and I let his confidence ooze into me. Finn was probably nursing a hangover at one of his friend's houses and would be here in a few hours with some made-up apology for ditching me last night, which I would reluctantly accept, since my behavior lately had been a lot worse then his. "Ok, I'll call around."

Good boy. Now start by calling Rachel, then Mike, then Matt. Remember, you're going by who he might go to, not who you would.

Luckily, I had all of the Glee club's numbers in my phone, and I was able to dial Rachel (who was filed under 'Diva Nag') quickly. She answered on the third ring. "What is it, Kurt, I'm right in the middle of my daily vocal routines."

Under any other circumstances, I would have said something so scathing that she would never forget it, but, for once, I let it go. "Is Finn there? He never came home last night and we're getting worried."

"Kurt, I am no longer dating Finn, thus I have no idea where he might be spending his nights. I'm with Jesse now, even though none of you want to accept it."

That was it. "None of us want to accept it, because you're dating the enemy! He's going to end up screwing us over and going back to Vocal Adrenalin after he does it. I can't imagine that he can look past your appalling fashion sense long enough to be turned off by your personality, which is beyond grating, so he must have another motive for dating you."

The past year has given Rachel a little bite, and she snapped right back. "Finn doesn't mind my personality or my fashion sense."

Ouch, that one stung. But Finn was my brother now, and I was over him. Completely, totally, absolutely over him. Ok, not over him but getting there. Ok, not getting there but trying. That counted for something, right? "Maybe he's blinded by your disgustingly short skirts. Anyway, let me know if you see him because his mother is upset."

"I don't anticipate seeing him, since I have a date with Jesse, but on the off chance, sure." She hung up before I could say anything else.

That was one of the most irritating things about Rachel. When she wanted Finn, she could focus on nothing else, but when she was done with him, he might as well have been invisible. It never failed to amaze me that Finn could find girls that treated him like absolute shit, but wouldn't even look at me, who would have worshiped him.

Or treated him like a creepy stalker.

I chose to ignore that and dialed first Mike, then Matt. Neither one had seen Finn, or Puck for that matter. They agreed to call the rest of the football team and anyone else they could think of.

Out of pure desperation, I finally tried Santana. As it turned out, she had been expecting Puck to stop by after he and Finn went bowling, and he hadn't shown up at her place as planned. If I followed her ranting correctly, though, that wasn't exactly an uncommon occurrence. Long story short, she was never putting out for Puck again, no matter how good he was, and when I found Finn, I could tell him that she was willing to give him a second chance because apparently Finn wasn't that good at it, but he was hung, and that meant she was more then willing to give him some lessons.

I disconnected the call after that disappointed and more then a little turned on. I wouldn't mind giving Finn some lessons…

Stop it. You're getting over Finn, not thinking about giving him sex lessons. Now call someone else.

Only there was no one else to call. Finn's social circle was very small these days, and I had tried everyone I could think of. Puck had other friends, but I was going to have to rely on Matt and Mike to sort that out. I padded up the stairs without bothering to dress first. Normally I would have died before leaving the basement in my pajamas and before I had even washed my face, but nothing about this day had been normal so far, and I was afraid that it was only going to get worse.

"We need to call the police. Something's wrong, Finn wouldn't just take off like this." Carole had tears streaming down her face, while Dad kneaded at her shoulder. I hung back in the doorway, too ashamed to look at her right now. I should have called them last night, and maybe we would have found Finn by now.

Dad looked at me over the top of Carole's head. "No one's seen them."

If it had just been Puck missing, I wouldn't have been bothered. He disappeared fairly regularly no one seemed to worry about him or be surprised. Then he would show back up, cocky as ever and looking none worse for wear. But this was the first time he had taken Finn with him.

"Then we call the police. If he's just hiding out, maybe it will put the fear of God into him." Dad didn't sound angry any more, and that was what scared me the most. He was worried about Finn, and even thought I felt the old jealousy in the back of my mind, his worry made mine increase tenfold.

Carole was already dialing the phone. "Yes. My son is missing." Her voice trembled, but didn't break. She listened for a minute, fingers pressed to her lips. "He's 16." Another pause. "About 12 hours." A third pause and her eyes narrowed. "No I don't think I should wait a little longer to call. He's 16, which is still a child and he's never done anything like this before. Something happened to him. I've already tried all of his friends and the hospital. Nobody's seen him since yesterday evening. Yes, I would appreciate that."

She slammed the phone down and glared at it. "They're sending someone out. They think I'm a hysterical mother who can't cut the umbilical cord, but I know something's wrong. Finn doesn't lie to me, and he said he would be home at one."

I tried not to look guilty. Finn did lie to Carole, and I knew it. But little lies about grades and homework weren't the same as not coming home. Dad looked over at me. "Kurt, go get dressed. You were the last one to see Finn, and I'm sure they'll want to talk to you."

The thought of anyone but Carole and Dad seeing me looking less then perfect was enough to get me moving. From Carole's irritation on the phone, I guessed that it would be a while before anyone showed up to take a report so I didn't bother speeding through my routine.

It was sitting at the vanity mirror when Finn's side of the room caught my eye in the reflection. Despite my overwhelming desire to help out with his decorating, I had been respectful enough to let him have that side of the room to himself. There was a lot of stuff still in boxes, stuff he had intended to unpack this weekend. Feeling even more like a stalker then ever, I walked over and started opening his drawers. There was an envelope in his sock drawer, one that contained almost $117 dollars in cash. Now officially worried, I went over to his closet. The floor had exactly one pairs of sandals, one pair of dress shoes and some battered green Converses. His winter coat was hanging up, as was the leather jacket that had once belonged to his father.

I sat on the floor in front of his closet and took a quick inventory. Unlike Carole, I hadn't been 100% sure that Finn hadn't bolted. He was with Puck, who was well known for getting into trouble, and, to be honest, there was a reason he might be afraid to come home. If Carole had known what I had been putting Finn through the past few days (ok, weeks), she might believe it, too.

But all of his stuff was still here. Finn wasn't known for his planning skills, but even he wouldn't leave with no money, one pair of shoes, and only his light jacket. When he had left last night, he had planned on coming back.

Feeling more miserable then ever, I closed the door and retreated back to my side of the room. I couldn't go up there and tell Carole, I just couldn't. When the deputy got there, I would tell him, but I couldn't be the one to crush her like that.

Like a scared rabbit, I hid downstairs in the basement for almost three hours, even after I hear the police car pull up. I stayed there until my father called me, then slowly climbed the stairs. The deputy they had sent to do the interview was young, and looked like he was bored to death. "Kurt, is it?"

"Yes." I sat down in my mother's old rocking chair and faced him as bravely as I knew how.

"So, you and Finn are close?" He was holding a notebook, his pen poised in case I said something important.

I had already made up my mind that I wouldn't lie to him. "Yeah, sometimes."

"Sometimes? What does that mean?" Now there was a flicker of interesting in his eyes

"Finn and I are in Glee club together, and we played football earlier in the year. We were friends, but since my father started dating his mother, it's been kind of weird between us. Then they just moved in with us five days ago, and I don't think he was very happy about that." There, I had been honest and still hadn't made myself sound creepy.

Kurt…you know what, don't bother telling him the other reason Finn was so unhappy. It doesn't matter now anyway.

What did that mean? I was so confused that I missed the next question. "I'm sorry, what?"

"I asked you to go over what happened last night, in your own words. As far as we know, you were the last person to see Finn."

"Well, he came downstairs, which is where our bedroom is, and he said that he was going to go bowling with Puck." It wasn't as easy to dodge now, and I made myself back up. "Wait, first he said that he wanted to talk about him and me, and we did that and then he said he'd be back around 1 to watch a movie with me, but he didn't come home."

"What specifically did he want to talk about involving him and you?" His face said that he knew there was more to the story then I was saying.

Careful, Kurt, this is a man who makes his living by determining whether or not someone is lying to him.

I thought fast and pieced together something that wasn't quite a lie. "He knew that things had been strange between us, especially since we have to share a room, and he kind of wanted to fix things."

"Did he seem upset about anything in particular? School, girls? Boys?" He was watching me closely and I was sure that he knew I was gay, and was he was asking if Finn and I had had a lovers spat.

Well, you aren't exactly subtle.

"No, I don't recall anything specific. I would guess just moving in things and parent things, but he didn't bring anything up. Just said he'd be back, and then he left."

"Did you actually see him get in the car with Noah?"

I was so nervous that, for a second, I couldn't remember who 'Noah' might be. Oh, Puck. "No, I was still downstairs. But I'm sure it was Puck who came to get him, because his muffler is bad and his car makes this really weird engine noise."

"Why didn't you call someone when Finn didn't show up like he had said he would?" He was probing now, knowing that I was holding something back.

Because he was throwing a tantrum, that's why.

"I don't know. I just….I thought maybe he had gotten back together with Rachel and he was spending the night there. I mean, an almost stepbrother doesn't rate as high as a girlfriend."

He glanced over at Dad and Carole, silently asking a question. I shook my head. "He's not there; we've already tried all of his friends. He's just gone and so is Puck."

A few quick scratches on the pad, leaving me certain that the next stop was the Puckerman house. "Is there anything else you guys can tell me?"

We all shook our heads, and he sighed. "Look, I'm going to be honest with you people. I think Finn is just fine, and he took off for a few days." Carole started to protest, and he held up a hand. "Here's the way the situation looks to me. We have a 16 year old boy, who's having some problems at home, going through a lot. Then he gets together with a friend, one he's gotten in trouble with before, and they both disappear. 10 bucks says that they're together in Canton or Columbus, and they'll be back in a few days, scared and sorry."

"He didn't take any of his stuff." I barely recognized my own voice. "All of his coats, his shoes, there's even $100 in his dresser. If he was planning on running away, why would he do it without any money? Besides, he said I could come with him if I wanted."

That threw him for a second. "It's entirely possible that none of this was planned. You know how it goes. Finn is upset about everything that's going on, and he naturally tells his best friend about it. So Noah, who's apparently been having some troubles of his own at home, tells him that if they run away for a few days, it will make everyone appreciate them more. I'm sure they never considered how terrified you would be."

He was making a certain amount of sense. Actually, I could almost see those exact words coming out of Puck's mouth. "So, you think he's alright?"

"95% of the time, they're back within five days whether we interfere or not, just long enough to find out that life can be pretty rough, and that maybe things aren't so bad at home after all. I'll put an APB out on Noah's truck, and hopefully we'll have him home by this time tomorrow."

That made me feel better. Finn was fine, and he would be home soon. Then I could make things up to him and we could be friend again. Everything would be fine now.

Except it didn't happen that way. We spent the rest of Saturday and all of Sunday close to the phone, but no one called. Instead of retreating down to the basement, I sat in the living room, watching the driveway for a battered red truck that never came. Even after Mercedes called and offered a shopping trip on her, I couldn't leave my post. So she came over and sat with us, making tea and bringing Carole tissues. She even made dinner for us, even though no one really wanted to eat.

"Kurt, Baby, march yourself downstairs and get cleaned up. You're gross right now, and I can't stand seeing you this way." I must have looked panicked, because she made a shooing gesture at me. "I'll be here when you get out, just go."

I couldn't summon any enthusiasm for my normal routines, so I just cleaned up (she was right, I was kind of gross after spending most of yesterday and all of today in the same pair of pajamas) and got out, changing into an old T-shirt that I had swiped from Finn at Sectionals. He hadn't been as wary of me then as he was now, and it had been easy to pretend that I had forgotten something to sleep in.

True to her word, Mercedes was waiting on the couch. She held out her arms and I cuddled up as closely as I could. She kissed the top of my head. "Burt took Carole upstairs to go lie down."

I pressed closer. "Do you think he's alright? I mean, Puck can probably take care of himself, but Finn can't."

Her silence was all the answer I needed. "I think that wherever he is, Finn is probably wishing he was home right now." The words were carefully chosen and made my heart plummet. We sat there in silence while it got darker and darker outside. "Do you want to ride with me tomorrow?"

"No, I think I'll be ok. I need the car, in case Finn comes home. If that happens, I'll probably ditch out early to be with him. You know, bitch him out big time for scaring me and, unless I miss my guess, making me break out from stress." I didn't say what I was really thinking, which was letting her give me a ride would be like setting a precedent and admitting that things had changed, and that they might stay changed for a very long time. Maybe even forever.

"Ok. Do you want me to help you with your homework?"

Honestly, I hadn't even thought about homework. I shrugged tiredly and she loosened her grip. "How about I take your assignments and just copy my work onto them?" At my weak nod, she smiled. "Ok, now bed for you. I'll meet you by your car tomorrow morning."

It was strange how big and empty my room suddenly felt. Two nights ago, I had been swearing that I didn't care if Finn never came back, but now I wanted nothing more then to hear him tossing around the bed across the room, muttering nonsensical things to himself. I would have even put up with him sitting up as I went down the stairs and doing that half-awake skittish thing where he would press back against the wall and stare at me like I was about to hurt him before letting his eyes fall closed again.

But there was no one there, no sleep talk or soft breaths to comfort me and help me fall asleep. Just the achingly quiet room, which had never bothered me before. I tried lying on my left side, but then I could see Finn's empty bed. So I tried my back, then my right side, but that didn't work either. I just wanted Finn home, and I promised myself that I would treat him better, that I would leave him alone completely if that was what he wanted, just as long as I knew he was alright.

And if bullfrogs had wings, they wouldn't smack their asses on the ground, now would they?

What did that mean? Before I could even attempt to vocalize that thought, the voice spoke again, harsh and unforgiving. Figure it out.

I knew, of course, but I didn't want to admit it to myself. Even thinking the words made me feel like I was casting some sort of spell, one that would ensure that Finn would stay lost forever, but I couldn't stop myself. It was impossible for a bullfrog to wish itself wings, just like it was impossible for me to wish Finn home. He just needed to do it on his own. I pressed my face into the pillow, counting my own breaths until I finally fell asleep.

By the time I woke up the next morning, Finn was still missing. Carole had made me a breakfast that would have fed the entire football team and probably contained more calories then I needed for an entire week. Eggs, bacon, French toast, all the things that Finn ate regularly and I avoided like the plague. But it was important to her that she do something, even if it was only feed me, anything that might make this day seem more normal.

I had to remember that as scared and lost as I was, Carole had it much worse. Finn was her only child, and she loved him, but he was more then that, too. He was the one link she had back to her first husband, and that was something that no one else would be able to touch. So I forced down as much of it as I could, even though it was sitting like a rock in my stomach. If Finn really had run off for a few days, I was going to strangle him with one of my designer scarves.

By the time I got to school, I was downright nauseous from a combination of nerves, too much food, and (if I was being totally honest) the fact that my clothing was a little tight this morning. But it looked good, and that was paramount. Mercedes met me at the door. "Is he home?"

I shook my head. "No. Nothing."

It only got worse as the day wore on. Up until now, no one but the Glee club and a few of the football players had known that anything was wrong, but Figgins made an announcement over the loudspeaker that anyone who heard from either Puck or Finn was to contact the police immediately and our cover was blown. Every time I turned around, I was surrounded by people asking me about Finn, asking questions that I couldn't possibly answer.

I would have traded all of those nosy questions for what happened in the hallway during 4th period, though. I had asked to be excused to the bathroom, less because I had to go, and more because I needed a chance to regroup in private, not to mention check my hair. I had barely left the classroom when I felt someone grab me and drag me into a stall, their hand clamped tightly over my mouth.

I spun as best as I could, and found myself face to face with my worst nightmare. David Karofsky was staring me in the face, his piggy eyes inches from my own. "What did you do, you fag?"

Scared, but determined not to let him see it, I squared my shoulders. "I'm sure I've done a great deal more then you have, what are you inquiring about specifically?"

The language threw him for a minute, and his grip loosened. I lunged for the door, only to find I couldn't open it. Something, or, far more likely, someone, was blocking it from the outside. Sure enough, I could see a pair of legs underneath the door.

While I struggled, Karofsky recovered. "I mean, Finn, you fucking homo. Everyone knows that he's living with you now. So you must have done something to scare him off. What did you do, fucking get in his bed one night? I know you would get off on that."

That stung. If I was being honest with myself, it mostly stung because I was afraid that it might be true. Had my (admittedly, over the top) flirting with Finn scared him to the point where he felt like he had no choice but to take off? I hadn't been that bad, had I?

Do you want the honest answer to that?

Whatever my internal debate might be, I had that sense not to give Karofsky any indication of it. "Yes, David, because homosexuality is contagious, and cohabitating caused him to be infected with a singular yearning for his own gender." I hoped that if I kept using big words, he would give me an opening to escape.

Unfortunately, it didn't work. Karofsky just loomed over me, his fist starting to come up. I flinched despite myself, but the blow never landed. Instead the door of the mens room flew open and my savior revealed all six feet of herself. "What is going on in here? You better move your asses you pair of mouth breathing paramecium"

I wouldn't have thought that anyone would be brave enough to stand up to Sue Sylvester, but I had forgotten how brave stupidity could make someone. Karofsky shot her an unimpressed look. "Look bitch, this is the boy's bathroom. Unless you have a dick in that tracksuit, get the hell out."

My gasp echoed the one coming from outside the bathroom door. Azimio (and I was almost certain it was him), decided that discretion was the better part of valor and took of like a beaten dog. I used his absence to squirm out of Karofsky's grip and bust the door open.

If I had thought Sue was pissed before, it was nothing compared to what she looked like when she found out that it was one of her newest Cheerio's being bullied. Before it had been about making Karofsky and Azimio suffer. Now it was personal.

Her lip gave a quick curl and she pointed at the door. "Lady Face, march yourself back to class. I can't have one of my Cheerio's flunking off of the team. Blackmailing Figgins will only go so far. And you!" Her finger went to Karofsky. "When I'm done with you, you won't even be able to get a job at the creepiest low rent hotel in this entire pathetic town. Actually, by the time I'm done with you, you'll be lucky it you aren't pissing in a catheter bag for the rest of your life." She advanced further, though not without pointing at the door again, making it clear that I was to leave.

Despite the fact that she had come to my rescue, I had a healthy amount of fear of Sue Sylvester, enough that I was scrambling to leave. Not to mention I didn't want to be within striking distance when she finally let Karofsky go, pissing in a catheter bag or not.

I had barely made it back to class when one of the secretaries appeared, leaning over to talk to Brady. Something about the way they kept glancing over at me made my stomach churn. This was about Finn, I knew it. Mr. Addy nodded and cleared his throat. "Kurt? Your father is here to dismiss you early. Please take all of your things."

Everyone was staring and I gathered my things together. Maybe it was because they knew it was about Finn, too, or maybe it was because my hands were shaking so badly that I was dropping things all over the place. I had never let them get to me like this before, and, like typical high school piranhas, they sensed and impending breakdown.

Matt stood without bothering to ask for permission (not that he usually did, Matt never talked without a damn good reason) and helped me get my stuff into my messenger bag. He still didn't say anything, but his eyes darted nervously and I knew that he was aware the situation.

The school hallway had never looked so long as I mechanically moved towards the office. With each step, I whispered softly to myself. "Finn's ok and he's home. Finn's ok, and he's home, Finn's ok, and he's home. Finn's ok, Finn's ok, Finn's ok."

Dad was waiting in the office. His face wasn't nervous, but he was crushing his baseball cap in his hands, which told me immediately that Finn wasn't home, or if he was home, he wasn't ok. "Dad?" My voice cracked embarrassingly.

He nodded at me. "Kurt, let's go."

I started to say something and he cut me off. "We'll talk about it in the car, ok?"

"Ok." I kept as close to his side as possible, not wanting him out of my sight. Before Carole and Finn, I really hadn't cared that much, but now that I had some competition, I needed to remind him that he had a son, and that I was more important to him then they were.

I'm pretty sure he knows that, Kurt.

Rationally, I knew that. Dad had said it over and over and over, and made it as clear as possible without a tacky neon sign, but I couldn't help but feel like I had screwed things up by setting him up with Carole in the first place. If I had kept hormones under control, it would still just be me and him, and things would be perfect, just like they had been before.

You mean the two of you would go back to being strangers in the same house. Face it, everything good that's happened between you and your father recently has been directly or indirectly because of Finn Hudson. You came out to your father after he got you on the football team. You and your father spend more time together because he pushes you to do it. By the way, nice way of repaying him for that, with your tantrums and your sexual harassment. Yes, it was sexual harassment despite what you try and tell yourself.

I knew that, too. When I had been doing it, it had seemed like harmless flirting, but now that I had taken a step back and looked again, I could see it for what it really was. "I know." The words were softly whispered to myself.

"What?" Dad had gotten into his side of the truck, but was just sitting there, the key still dangling from his hand.

"Nothing." I took a deep breath and tried to smile at him. "They found Finn, right? That's why we have to go home, because they found him and he's alright."

Dad put the key in the ignition. "No, they haven't found Finn. They found Puck's truck, and…." He blinked rapidly for a minute, seeming to choke back tears. "There was…there was a body inside. They think it's Puck, but we won't know for sure until they compare the dental records."

Bile rose in the back of my throat, but I forced it down. I had to be tough here, because if I fell apart now, I wasn't going to make it through this. "They couldn't just look and tell? I mean, they don't look that much alike."

He wouldn't look at me. "That apparently wasn't possible. We should know very quickly, but I didn't want you to hear this from someone else. Now, do you want to go home, or do you want to come to the coroner's office with Carole and I?"

I didn't want to be anywhere near the body, no matter whose it was. But I didn't want to be at the house either. Honestly, just wanted him to tell me what to do, because none of the choices looked right. "Dad?" My voice choked and it took a few minutes before I could speak again. "Even if…even if it isn't Finn there, it's Puck and they disappeared together. Is Finn dead?" My mind was busy providing every possible scenario that would require dental records to identify a body.

"I don't know." He was focused on the road, but I could see the tears in the corners of his eyes. "I just…Kurt, I don't know."

Those words were more then enough answer.