Ch.21

He couldn't stay in that room with them any longer. The look on everyone's faces, the pained expression Maggie wore, the blank look in Glenn's eyes as he took in the news. It was too much. He had to get out of there. So he did. He turned and walked out of the room, onto the porch, away from everything, including his problems.

He wasn't really sure what to do. A part of him felt like rushing up to her room and making her listen to him. He wanted to explain himself to her. The other part of him felt compelled to walk into the woods and never come back. A part of him just wanted to walk away and never think about what had happened and all of the pain he had caused her. He did neither of those. Instead, he stayed standing on the porch.

"You did the right thing."

Daryl turned around to see who it was even though he could recognize the voice anywhere. Carol. He had figured it would only be a matter of time before she sought him out. She always had a way of knowing when something was bothering him. But right now, he didn't really want to talk.

"If I did the right thing, then why does it feel like I screwed everything up?" Daryl mumbled, leaning back on the railing and looking out into the yard.

"You did what you had to do."

"And now she hates me for it."

Carol moved closer to him. "She doesn't hate you, Daryl. She's just-she just needs time."

"I made her a promise and I broke it. None of this would have happened if it weren't for me anyway."

"That's not true, and you know that. You can't blame yourself for what happened." Carol paused and turned to face him. "Breaking that promise was the best thing you could have done for her. Something like that, that's not something that someone can deal with on their own. She needed Maggie to know, she couldn't hide it from us forever, it was tearing her apart."

Daryl knew that what she was saying was the truth. He knew that Beth had been falling apart before his eyes. He knew that their secret had to be told.

Carol put her hand on his shoulder and gave it a light, comforting squeeze. "You just have to give her time. She'll come around. No matter what she says, she doesn't hate you. You were the only person there for her when she needed it the most. And just because she may be a little mad at you now, it doesn't mean that she still doesn't need you. She needs you now more than ever."

And with that she smiled and walked away, leaving Daryl even more confused than he had been before this conversation.

Beth was numb. She felt number than she had after it had happened. But this numbness was an entirely different numbness. She could feel something fueling in her, but she couldn't put her finger on it. And then she recognized what she was feeling. Anger was slowly starting to reside in the numbness.

She was angry. But it was more than anger; it was fury. She was furious at him, at everyone, but most of all she was furious with herself. She was angry that she had actually trusted him. She was angry that she had actually believed he wouldn't tell anyone.

She felt betrayed. The one person she thought she could trust had let her down. She had put all of her trust in him. She had let him comfort her when she was crying. She had confided in him. And now it was all for nothing. She was beginning to believe that there was nobody left she could trust.

She wasn't sure how long it had been since she'd run to her room, but soon enough Maggie was there, pulling her close. And they cried, both of them. Beth wasn't really sure why she was crying. She didn't know if it was because of what had happened to her, if it was because she hated herself, or if it was because of Daryl. But she cried until there was nothing left to cry.

Suddenly Beth pulled away from her, scooting herself as far away as possible. She didn't want her to be here. She didn't want Maggie to see her like this. It was just another reminder that she knew, another reminder that her promise had been broken.

She heard muffled sounds that sounded a million miles away. Her hearing focused and she realized that Maggie was talking to her. She wasn't sure what she had been saying, and she honestly didn't care. She felt a warmth in her hand and noticed that Maggie had grabbed it.

"I need you to know that I'm here for you, and that you can talk to me."

Beth didn't know how to respond. What was she supposed to say? Nothing she said would ever make the hurt go away. She didn't say anything. She remained silent. She gave Maggie's hand a light squeeze, and when Maggie squeezed back she almost broke again.

Maggie eventually left the room, and Beth was relieved. She knew that Maggie was worried about her, but the constant presence of someone else in the room intensified everything she was feeling. She let out a shaky breath she didn't know she had been holding when she heard the door close.

She didn't know what she should do now. Everything in her wanted her to crawl under the blankets and be dead to the world. She wanted to close her eyes and never wake up again, or at least wake up to different circumstances, to a time where none of this had happened.

She knew that soon enough Maggie would be back. She figured that she would have other visitors as well if she decided to stay in her room and isolate herself from everyone. She knew that in time the one person she didn't want to see would make his way to her room.

As much as she hated the idea of going downstairs, she hated the idea of seeing his face even more. At least she would be able to avoid him if she was downstairs. She got out of her bed with weak legs, nerves starting to take over. She knew that by now everyone probably knew. Nothing stayed quiet when you were in a group this small.

Her fears were confirmed when she walked into the kitchen. She could feel everyone's eyes on her. When she would look up, they would quickly look away. She was beginning to regret her decision to come downstairs and face everyone. It seemed like too much. She didn't want their pitying looks. The air seemed heavy, and she felt like there was a weight on her chest. She was starting to panic, so she bolted. She ran out of the kitchen and out to the yard, not knowing where she was going.

Author's Note: So Daryl feels horrible. He thought that what he had done was the right thing, but now he's not so sure. Carol tries to tell him that he did the right thing, but Daryl isn't entirely convinced.

And Beth, Beth isn't in a very good place right now. The numbness she is feeling is slowly turning in to anger. She feels as if Daryl has betrayed her, and she doesn't think that she has anyone she can trust. She desperately wants to avoid Daryl. but, that may be a little hard considering she rushed out of the house and Daryl is still on the porch. Hmm...I wonder what's going to happen?

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