JULY 23

I tucked little Joshua into his small bed. He was fast asleep, finally. The rest of my cousins were already in bed and had been for a while, but Josh had taken a while to fall asleep. He was still really little, and he did not like being away from his parents for as long as he had. He was only about two and a half.

I checked on the rest of the kids, just to be sure they were all still asleep.

Nathan was sprawled across his bed, an open book and a flashlight on his pillow. Shaking my head, I picked up the flashlight and turned it off. I set it on the nightstand. I hunted around for his bookmark, finding it partway under his armpit. I put that in his book and set the book next to the flashlight.

Michael, across the room, was curled up in a tight ball under his blankets. He was snoring softly.

Down the hall, the twins, Emily and Erica, were laying side by side in Erica's bed. I shook my head again, pulling the blanket up so it covered both of them. They had each been in their own beds when I'd put them down. But Aunt Maddie had warned me that they often did that. She said that she and my mom used to do it, too, when they were kids.

I made my way into Aunt Maddie's living room and plopped onto the couch. It had been a long day. Aunt Maddie had gone into labor with Trista about two in the afternoon, and had asked me to watch her kids while she had the baby. It was now ten o'clock. I wondered if it was just a long delivery, or if there had been complications. I hadn't heard anything. I was pretty sure Uncle Sammy would have told me if there were complications.

I sighed, running my hand through my curly hair as I pulled out my cell phone. I made sure it was set on vibrate, so it wouldn't wake my cousins if it rang. Then I texted Willow.

HEY. YOU DOING ALL RIGHT?

It had been almost a month since her grandmother's funeral, but she was still pretty upset about it. She'd been pretty distant lately, and I was starting to get kind of worried about her. She was pulling away from me and my other friends, hardly talking to any of us.

She responded after several minutes.

FINE.

I frowned. She certainly didn't seem fine to me. Not that I could really blame her. I'd be upset, too. It just seemed odd that as more time went by, the more distant she got. She should have been starting to get better, not the other way around.

WILLOW, I DON'T THINK YOU'RE FINE.

STRYKER, I AM FINE.

WILLOW, COME ON. I'M YOUR FRIEND. TALK TO ME.

She didn't reply.

I sighed. Whatever. If she didn't want to talk to me, fine. I'd let her deal with her grief on her own, I guess.

My phone vibrated. I looked down. Brittany was calling me. My thoughts still on Willow, I answered it, keeping my voice barely above a whisper. "Hey, Brit."

"Hey, Stryk. Um, why are you talking so quietly?"

"Oh, um, I'm babysitting my cousins while my aunt's in the hospital. They're all asleep, so I'm trying to keep quiet. I don't want to wake any of them."

"Oh. I don't envy that," she said. She'd never really been much of a fan of kids. She thought they were obnoxious. To be fair, a lot of them were. "Why is your aunt in the hospital?" I could hear the concern in her voice.

"She's having her baby," I said slowly. I know I'd told Brittany this.

"Oh, that's right. Listen, I wanted to talk to you about a party I want to put together before the first day of school. To celebrate the start of our last year of high school."

"Oh. Okay. What were you thinking?"

She started talking about doing what she called a "sophisticated" pool party. Whatever that meant. I wasn't really listening to her, to be honest. I was worried about Willow. I knew she wasn't fine, not with the way that she'd been acting lately. She'd lost her grandmother, but maybe it was more than that. Maybe there was something else going on. I would think that after a month, she would be starting to get back to normal. Instead, she'd been getting more and more distant every day.

I wasn't sure what I could do to help her, but I wanted to do something. She was my friend.

Maybe I should back off, though. I mean, I remembered my friends trying to cheer me up through my break up with Mal. It hadn't really helped, even though I knew that they really wanted to help. Maybe the best I could do was let Willow know that I was here if she need me – which I'd already done. She had to know that I was willing to do whatever I could to help her through this.

"Stryker."

I jumped slightly, refocusing on my conversation with Brittany. Oops. I'd completely zoned out on her. "Yeah?"

"Have you been listening to anything I've been saying?" She was obviously irritated. I hadn't meant to totally ignore her like that.

"You want to do a pool party." I wasn't really sure what else she'd said, but I knew that much.

"And?"

"Uh…"

She sighed. "You know what? I'll call you tomorrow. Maybe you won't be so distracted by your friend Willow."

She hung up.

A few minutes later, I realized that I'd never said anything about Willow to her. How had she known that I'd been thinking about Willow?