Way to soon did we had to go back to Court. I would miss the Belikova's, but it also would be nice to back home. I loved to have so much time with Dimitri, but honestly do I think it's good for him to go back to Court.

Everything went as usual when we were back at Court.. I had a shift and we went to bed early because of the jetlag and I had to go back to college the next morning. A week later Dimitri and I got our molnija marks from the kills we got in Baia. A few weeks went by and nothing really happened.

Dimitri and I were okay, Lissa, Eddie and I had good marks for our first exams. It was clear Lissa had the best and Eddie and I had marks just good enough to go further with the study, but it was enough. I didn't expect different. I still had some nightmares about Novosibirsk, but I was able to hide them and it wasn't a problem between me and Dimitri. I had learn to deal with nightmares before, the worst were after Spokane, when my best friend Mason died, and I think those nightmares were worse than the ones I had now.

School started to be difficult. People started to notice how protective I was about Lissa. I was always around, always on her side. Me, Eddie and Lissa are the only Moroi and Dhampirs here and people don't know about us.

It was clear I always was protective about Lissa, especially after the accident when her parents and brother died. It wasn't strange at the academy. People only thought I already thought I was her guardian. I acted like her guardian, because I knew I would be and she meant the world to me. Now I had to do was what I never did since I know Lissa; I left her side. I needed to keep distance. I told Eddie and Lissa I would be near enough, I still would be able to guard Lissa, but I didn't like this. Now I didn't was at her side all the time I felt I wasn't in her life anymore.

Dimitri should have seen there was something wrong. 'What's up Rose?'

It felt wrong to lie to him. ' I'm just worried about Lissa. People at school started to notice how protective I am around her so I need to keep distance'

'You know she'll be safe. I know you always keep an eye at her, you even did that when you two had a fight. Eddie will make sure she's safe too. '

' I know somewhere, but I will always be worried about her. I don't even have the bond anymore... But you're right. I'll try to reduce the worries.'

I moved towards him. ' Did I already said that I love you so much Comrade?'

He kissed me. 'Yes, you already said that, but I like each time you say so. I love you too Roza'

With him in my arms I fell asleep.

I woke up in a luxury suit. The bed I was laying in was huge. There were a couch, TV and a bookcase. There was a bathroom and the windows were almost black. All the light came from the lamps in the suite. The door was still locked. Of course he wouldn't let me out.

After a while the door opened and Dimitri came in. His red eyes looked at me. 'Do you know it yet?' he asked.

'Yes... No... I'm not sure... Does it hurt?'

'I'll reduce the pain. It'll be the same as when I bite you. I only take more blood.'

I nodded, deep in my thoughts. Would I do it? I'll be alive and I could be always with him, or would I say no and chose for the death, without him?

'You know we haven't much time anymore' Dimitri stated.

' Okay, do it' He was right. It was almost the same as a bite. I felt fuzzy, happy. I felt the bond disappear. The last thing I heard was Lissa's scream when she realized I passed away. Wait... I can't hear Lissa scream through the bond. I'm not able to hear that when I'm not in her head.

I woke up. I breathed fast because of the nightmare. Thankfully Dimitri didn't wake up, since I must be the one who was screaming.

'No! You can't leave me, not now!'

I realized Dimitri screamed.

'Dimitri, wake up!' I said. I hold him close to me when he woke up.

'Roza, you're still here' he whispered in disbelieve.

'Yes, of course, I won't leave you'

'But you said...'

I interrupted him. 'Shh. I didn't say so. I wouldn't do. It must've been a bad dream.'

'I'm afraid Rose' he whispered. I knew how hard it was for him to admit this. 'It all comes back again. Since our holiday I know you'll once leave me. I'm unable to give you children, I'm unable to give you everything you deserve. I've done so many bad things to you, not only in Novosibirsk, but also at the academy and after you returned me, I know you deserve so much better than me. I've hurt you so many times and you're still here, but I know for sure that won't last long. I don't deserve you.'

I interrupted him. 'I understand why you did what you did. I won't ever leave you because of those things. I love you and now I'm finally with you my life feels complete. I know that we weren't together at the academy because of the age gap and you being my teacher and that stuff. I know it wasn't you who did all those things to me in Novosibirsk, I already told you so many times. It wasn't you and besides that, you only could do those things to me because I went after you, because I loved you too much to pretend you died, like everyone else did. When you were back to me you had a lot of feelings to deal with. I understand that you needed to place everything before you could move on and I'm so happy you did. I'm so happy you are mine now. You don't have to be afraid that I'll leave you, never.'

He nodded, but I could see he still didn't believe me for hundred per cent. 'If any other guy had hurt me so many times I would be long gone. If Adrian had hurt me, I would never give him a change as a boyfriend again, maybe as friends, but you are so much different. I love you and nothing can change that.'

He fell asleep in my arms after a while. Soon after he fell asleep I fell also asleep.

A few weeks went by. It was harder to hide my nightmares. It was harder to keep distance of the memories. I couldn't cope with it any longer and pretend that nothing was going on. I didn't dare to tell Dimitri, he was in so much pain too, I couldn't do that to him.

'Lissa?' I asked one day when I was done with it. 'Can there be a reason why you would need to leave Court without Christian or why he would leave without you?'

She was surprised. 'Why would there be a reason?'

'I-I ehm, I just want some time alone with you. It's been a while since we had some time together, without the boys or anyone else'

'I don't know… We can also do that here at Court.'

'I just want to be away from here…'

'Does this have anything to do with Dimitri Rose?'

She knew me too well… 'Ehm, maybe…'

'Rose, what's wrong?'

'Nothing, not really' I quickly said.

'Rose'

'Okay… It's just, since our holiday he's hurt again. He has nightmares and feels very guilty again. He keeps thinking I'll leave him, but I won't. But… I still have the memories and nightmares too. I know I promised I'd tell him when I have another nightmare, but I can't. I'm afraid he'll leave me when he finds out. I need him or myself to be away a few days, just to think about it, just to reload and to know what I need to do… I need this time, because I'm afraid we won't last long anymore.'

I felt so stupid. How couldn't we last longer, how could we still have those stupid problems, even when we are finally together. Lissa hugged me. 'Oww Rose.. You two love each other so much. You both ad to go through so much, don't let this be your break up. You'll be able to handle it, I'm sure. You're right, we need to go. I'll have to tell Christian, hope you don't mind?' she asked.

I was so happy that she wanted to give me and Dimitri the time we need. 'Sure you need to tell him. Thank you so much!'

'I always can leave for Queen's stuff. We only need a reason for Christian to leave too or to stay behind.'

I had an idea. 'Maybe he and Mia will need to go to the academy for their fight-group?' I suggested.

Since Lissa is Queen, the Moroi who want to learn how to fight will learn to fight. Mia already had her group at Court, and Christian learned something from his aunt Tasha so they leaded the group. We started with an experiment at St. Vladimir's, but I think it will succeed. There are some Moroi and Dhampirs who learn the Moroi to fight and a few Dhampirs can teach them some offensive magic if they want to. Christian and Mia visit the academy to see how the experiment progress and every time they visit the academy the group is a little larger.

'Can he go to the academy earlier to check if everything is okay there?' I asked

'That's a good idea. We can say that Dimitri can learn the students some moves'

'Who will we bring with us? I think Eddie, but maybe we should let him choose if he wants to go with us or with Christian and Mia. He won't need to know why we're leaving.' Lissa said.

'That's fine. Thanks for helping me' I hugged her.

When I walked back home I thought about how I would tell Dimitri.

The next day Lissa asked Eddie what he wanted; go with us or with Christian and Mia. He was a bit overruled.

'I'm supposed to go with you, I don't know why you act like I have a choice' he said.

'I act so because I give you the choice. Christian and Mia can use a second guardian and I can take every royal guardian I want.'

He turned a bit red. 'Hmm, okay, if you're sure, I think I'll go with Mia and Christian.'

'I'm sure, you go with Christian and Mia and I will ask another guardian to go with me. You will go Wednesday till Saturday. Rose, we'll go Friday to Monday. I know it's your weekend, but I'll give you a few days of extra.

'Okay, that's fine.' I looked at my watch. 'Shit, we need to go, we're late for class.'

In college, there were only two seats next to each other. I had to sit a few seats behind them. Thankfully I could sit behind them. I kept an eye on Lissa, while someone next to me started to talk. 'Why aren't you with Lissa? I thought she always needed her babysitter?' the girl said.

'No, of course not. We're just friends and I only keep an eye on her because… Well, it's none of your business.'

'Who is she why she walks around like she is the Queen?'

Because she is a Queen I wanted to say. 'She doesn't. I'm only a bit protective about her because she's like a sister to me. She has gone through a lot of shit, but again, it's none of your business.' I said.

The girl tried to talk to me, but she was annoying me. I ignored her for the rest of the lesson.

Back home I trained a bit and waited for Dimitri to come home. I needed to tell him I'll leave Friday morning. I heard him to come home after a while.

'Comrade' I said. I kissed him. 'I've waited for you, I need to tell you something…'

'What's wrong Rose?'

I felt guilty that I would go away on purpose. 'Lissa will go to Europe for some Queen's stuff. I'll need to go with her. We'll leave Friday morning and will back Monday in the evening. I know it's our weekend but we'll have enough time together I think.'

'We can't go together… Christian will go back to the academy on Wednesday.' He said.

Author's note: At first; A happy new year to everyone!

I'm sorry I haven't updated, I didn't have much time to type the story. Anyways, I will update chapter 7 on Thursday I think and from then I'll update each Monday, like I used to do.

Thank you all for the comments about the Royal guardians I need somewhere in this story. I think it'll be anonymous guardians, since I didn't feel that a lot of Rose's old classmates should be Royal guardians, but I still keep it an option :)

What do you think about how the story goes? How will the story end?