Ch.31

It was a beautiful morning out. The sun was shining, casting a warm glow upon her skin. There were a few bright white, fluffy clouds in the sky. Beth couldn't help but think that today would have been the perfect day to ride horses out to the lake that her and Maggie always used to go to. Of course, that wasn't possible anymore since they no longer had horses and going to the lake would probably be too dangerous. But it still made her smile thinking about it.

Walking had become a routine for her. She would get up early in the morning, when only a few others were awake, and would immediately head outside, not bothering to have breakfast. Her walks were long. She would walk by the burnt remnants of the farm, temporarily letting the memory of her mother float into her mind. Then she would walk the perimeter of the property, staying close to the edge of the woods when she got to that part of the farm.

Nearly everyone had offered to go with her, but she never let them. This was her time to be alone; pretty much the only time she was ever alone except for when she was sleeping. It was her time to think, and occasionally sing a song quietly to herself. It was peaceful. And it was helping her.

Today had been like any other. She had gotten up, quickly changed, and forced her feet into her boots before walking out the door and starting her walk. She had been by the barn, and had walked the majority of the perimeter. It was when she walking along the edge of the woods, back towards the house, that things changed.

She heard voices. They were muffled and from a distance. She couldn't make out what they were saying. But she knew that the voices weren't from anyone in the group. As she got closer the voice grew clearer and she was able to hear what they were saying.

"Just leave and be on your way."

That was Daryl. She knew his voice, she would recognize his voice anywhere. But she didn't understand who he was talking to or why he wanted them to go away.

"I'm seeing a lot of pretty ladies, but I don't see my girl. Where's Beth?"

Beth stopped in her tracks, her whole body frozen. She was close enough now to see the bodies that matched the voices, and her stomach dropped. It was Eric.

"Are you the sister? Ah, this is good. Did she tell you what I did to her? Did she tell you how she wiggled beneath me, trying to get free, but I had her pinned down? Did she tell you about her screams that nobody could hear? Did she tell you how rough I was with her? I bet she still has marks."

Beth closed her eyes tightly. This had to be a dream. It was just one of her nightmares. She would open her eyes and he wouldn't be there anymore. It was a dream. But the voice continued.

"First I'm gonna make her watch as we kill each of you. We may keep a few of the women…I'm sure my men would like that. Heck, if we keep the women I can have Beth all to myself. Then, once you're all taken care of, I'll take her into that house there and have my way with her again."

Beth hadn't even noticed, but she had been moving closer to them. Her hand was resting on her gun, and in one swift movement she pulled it out, pointing it at Eric. Her finger was resting against the trigger. And before she knew what she was doing, her finger twitched and the gun fired. Eric fell to the ground.

Her eyes were glued to him. To the blood seeping from the wound she had put in his head. To the puddle of crimson red forming on the grass. She was vaguely aware of her chest tightening, of her panicked gasps to draw in air. But all she could focus on was the man she had killed.

"Beth, look at me."

Her eyes immediately searched for the source of the voice. Daryl. It was Daryl. And he was standing directly in front of her, his hands resting on her shoulders.

"Take a deep breath…do it with me…"

She wasn't hearing everything he was saying. She was only hearing bits and pieces. Her chest was getting tighter, making it feel like it was going to explode. She saw Daryl's chest rise and instinctually tried to repeat the motion.

"One more…you can do it…."

She tried it again, and felt as the air rushed into her, instantly relieving the pain, her chest loosening. But the relief was short lived as sobs began to wrack her body. The gun dropped from her hand and Daryl pulled her close. Her legs gave way. And suddenly they were on the ground. Both of them were on the ground. Daryl was holding her. Tears were streaming down her face.

She heard gunshots. Screams. Yelling. Pain. She lifted her head in an attempt to see what was happening. She was so confused. She didn't know what was going on. But her head was brought back to a hard chest by a gentle hand, and her body began to rock back and forth as Daryl slowly moved them.

The noise stopped. There were footsteps. Maggie and Glenn were there. Rick was there, too. They were saying something, but she didn't know what. And suddenly Daryl was standing up, her hands being pried away from his shirt. It hurt. Him leaving her physically hurt. But then she was pressed against another warm body. A hand was stroking her hair. A soft voice was talking to her. It was Maggie.

And then she felt arms underneath her. The warmth of Maggie's body was gone. Someone was lifting her. She could feel the air underneath her, giving her goose bumps. And she was terrified until she saw the darker skin tone. Glenn.

They were inside. When did they get inside? She was in her room, on her bed. Everything seemed to be going in slow motion around her, but her mind was racing. Her thoughts were flying by so fast that she didn't have the chance to understand one thing before something else took its place.

Maggie was sitting on the edge of her bed. She could feel Maggie's eyes on her. She could feel her hand lightly brush away tears on her cheek. But Maggie wasn't saying anything to her, just looking at her. Watching her.

Beth could feel her body shaking. She could hear shaky breaths. She was crying. No, she was sobbing. Why was she sobbing? She was crying, and she didn't even know why. Did she do something?

"Beth?"

Her attention was quickly drawn to Maggie.

"Beth, sweetie…you need to try to calm down. Alright?"

Beth could feel herself nod.

"Just try to stop crying. It's going to be okay."

Was she nodding again? She couldn't tell, but she thought that she was.

Maggie kept watching her. Beth kept crying. Her hands grasped the blankets tightly, needing something to hold onto, something to keep her in this world, something to let her know that this was real, because everything was so confusing that it seemed fake.

Eventually she felt as the bed stopped shaking with her sobs. She could feel as the salty trails of her tears dried on her cheeks. And Maggie was still looking at her.

"Beth? Are you alright now?"

No response.

"Sweetie, do wanna talk about it?"

Talk about it? Talk about what?

And like that, everything came rushing back to her, hitting her like a whirlwind, sweeping her off of her already unsteady feet. The voices. Eric. The gunshot. Blood.

She had killed someone. She had killed Eric. She had killed the man who had almost destroyed her.

Maggie kept talking to her, and Beth kept ignoring her. She was listening to what she was saying, but she wasn't paying any attention to it. She was consumed by her own thoughts, which had slowed down a to a speed she could process.

She heard the creak of the door. Footsteps. Voices; one rough and gravelly, the other soft. The door clicked shut. The bed dipped beside her. And she was aware that the room was dark. How long had she been in here? Was it really nighttime?

"Beth?"

It was the gravelly voice. It was Daryl. And her eyes began to search for him in the dark. He was sitting on her bed. His eyes were glued to her, studying her face.

"Beth?" he said again.

"Daryl," Beth whispered, not sure if it was a question or a statement.

"How're ya feeling?"

Beth furrowed her eyebrows. How was she feeling?

"Like shit," she said, deciding to be honest. Her head was throbbing. Her chest hurt. Her throat was soar. She felt like shit.

Daryl didn't say anything. He was still studying her face. She didn't know what he was looking for, or if he was hoping to find the answer to some question, but his eyes weren't leaving her face.

"You wanna talk about it?"

Beth didn't answer him.

"I'm not gonna make ya, but if you wan-"

"Does it make me a bad person," Beth asked, cutting him off.

"What? Of course not. That piece of shit deserved to die. You did what any of us would've done. It doesn't make you a bad person."

"I'm not asking if killing him makes me a bad person, Daryl…."

Daryl continued looking at her, and she knew that he was confused. "Then what're ya asking?"

"I'm not sorry that I killed him. I-I don't have any regret about doing it," Beth said quietly.

"You shouldn't feel sorry…not after everything he's done."

"But I killed a man. And no matter how bad of a person he was, no matter what he did, he was still human. I took somebody else's life, and I don't feel the least bit sorry or guilty, Daryl."

Daryl didn't say anything, and Beth guessed that he was still trying to figure out what she meant.

"I didn't even think about it, Daryl. I didn't even think about what I was doing. It…it just happened. I just pulled out my gun and shot him. I killed him, and I didn't even think about."

Daryl nodded.

"What kind of person does that make me? What kind of person is able to just kill someone and not think twice about it, not even feel sorry about it or a little guilty? It scares me…"

Daryl continued to look at her. She knew that he had been taking in everything she had said, and she knew that he was formulating an answer. He was thinking before he spoke, something it seemed he only ever did for her.

"It makes you a survivor, Beth. It makes you someone who's able to survive and do what they need to do to survive. It makes you strong."

Beth glanced away from him and then quickly looked back. His eyes locked on hers, holding them there. She wasn't able to look away. There was a tension in the air, but she couldn't figure out why. Her heart was racing; the intensity of his gaze overwhelming.

"You're a survivor Beth. You've made it through some pretty tough shit…shit that most of the people here couldn't even imagine. You saw your mom put into a barn, and then saw what this world really is when she came out and attacked you. You tried to kill yourself. You watched your father die right in front of you. You've been separated from your sister. You've had men do things to you…things that you'll never forget, things that no one should ever have to go through. And you've killed someone." Daryl paused and took a breath before continuing. "And you've made it through all of those things. You're still here. You haven't let them win. You let them make you stronger."

Daryl stopped talking, giving Beth a moment to let everything he said sink in. She wasn't able to break her eyes away from his. The tension in the air was growing. Her heart was racing even faster. And Daryl bent down, his lips millimeters from her ear.

"You're a tough son of a bitch…just like your father," he whispered softly, his voice barely audible even with his mouth this close to her ear.

Shivers ran down Beth's spine as Daryl's breath tickled her ear. And she couldn't stop the small smile that formed on her lips.

Author's Note: First off, I want to apologize in the delay in updating. The past month has been hectic. My sister got married, and then a week later there was a death in the family. So, I haven't had any time to write. But, things have calmed down, so I am back at it!

There's the chapter, and I am actually quite fond of this chapter. There are a lot of short sentences, some even just one word, which I haven't really done before. I thought it kind of added to show how Beth was feeling. She was confused, and she couldn't figure out what was going on around her. And I absolutely love the ending...actually, the whole part of her and Daryl at the end!

Please leave a review and tell me what you think!