Kili felt overwhelmed with the perspective of travelling with his newly met uncle. All his life he lived with the idea he had no one left in the world. His mother never talked anything about her family so he had assumed they had no relatives. Looking back at the past he could only feel anger and anxiety, if only he had known there was someone to turn to, he would have left his mother and asked for help. He remembered the feeling of hunger, the feeling of coldness and rejection. He remembered all those bad words he heard from his mother about how much she hated him and hated that he existed. He remembered the constant travelling, and he also remembered the one time they stayed longer. In his dreams he would see the same elaborate expensive house, and he would hear those screams. He would hear his screams, he would feel the pain. He had to fight desperately not to remember those moments ever again.
Being left at Beorn's house was the best thing his mother ever did for him. He loved Beorn as a father, and he respected him. Meeting his uncle was a new wave of anxiety in his life. The man was cold and distant. Always dressed officially in a style Kili had only seen on TV in those stiff business type programs. On one hand the man was very cold, but on the other he would never criticise him and when he asked a question Kili had the feeling he really was listening to the answer. Kili asked some questions about his brother, and he tried to swallow the idea that there was another boy out there also hurt by his mother. For the first time in his life he felt he wasn't alone. The notion of having a brother was like finding a lost piece of his soul. Deep inside he was anxious to meet him, but he was hoping they would become friends. He was hoping that for the first time in his life the aching in his heart would finally stop.
He breathed in deeply as Beorn and his friend the police officer were seeing him off at the airport. Following Thorin into the airport he felt more scared than ever. He kept repeating that this man was very good to him so far, and he could only hope that would last.
The first shock came when they got onto Thorin's private jet. Kili watched the beautiful machine with wide eyes, and as the settled into their seats he could not help but wonder about the cost of such a whim. Thorin felt comfortable in such luxury. Kili just glanced at him to make sure what was expected of him, and tried to calm down.
They didn't talk much during the flight, Kili's stomach was in his throat due to stress so he just replied when needed. He felt Thorin's observe gaze on him all the time, and because of it he couldn't ease down.
"You have nothing to fear." Thorin finally told him. "I know this yet another big change in your life, but nothing bad will happen to you under my care."
"I know." The boy softly replied and tried to focus on keeping his dinner down.
"You're so much like her." Thorin suddenly told him, and for the first time he saw the boy look up at him in anger. The rage in those brown eyes was like a wild fire.
"I don't want to be anything like her." The way he spoke was full of so much despise and emotions that Thorin just held the boy's strong gaze.
For the first time Kili saw the man smirk with an all knowing smile. "I'm glad you say so." He told the boy. "She had many faults, and she made tones of mistakes. I don't wish for neither you nor Fili to go through the same things she did."
As they were leaving the plane Kili observed his uncle being treated with utmost respect at the airport. Everyone there clearly knew who he was, and their servitude made Kili even more worried. He slowly got the idea his uncle was someone important and affluent, but this was a bit too much for him. It reminded him the over bearing atmosphere of that home. The memory of always having your head down and the servitude made him even sicker to the stomach. The focused on reality. Walking down towards the exit he noticed his uncle look around carefully as if expecting someone.
Suddenly the solemn man smiled and yelled "Fili!" And Kili's stomach did another twist. He knew he was going to meet his brother soon, but he was hoping he had at least a bit more time to get ready. And as his uncle pulled a short blond man into his arms and greeted him warmly, Kili did the only thing he could that is he ran towards the bathroom.
Fili looked around worried hoping to finally see the person he and Thorin talked about on the phone so much.
"He hasn't been feeling well all flight. Let's just give him some time." Thorin eased the boy a bit, trying to hide his own worries. "Stay with the luggage." He told Fili and went into the direction Kili ran off to.
He wasn't surprised to find the boy in the bathroom, looking even paler than normal and extremely ashamed.
"Take your time." He told the boy calmly, trying to make him feel safe.
"I'm sorry." Kili told him washing his face.
"I know it's a bit too much for one day." Thorin admitted. "Not every day your life changes direction rapidly."
"I made a fool of myself." The boy spoke bitterly.
"You're thinking too much about it." Thorin gently told him. "There is nothing to fear."
"But there is." Kili replied. "I have no idea what to expect."
"You're going home." Thorin replied in a calm voice. "Expect lots of kindness and warmth. Good food and a comfortable room. An overworked uncle and a calm brother."
Kili looked up to him. "I'm so ashamed."
"Don't think about it." Thorin told the shaking boy. "Everything is going to be just fine. Let's just go and meet him, he's a really nice calm person. Nothing like your mother."
Those last words made Kili's eyes shine a bit. And he slowly composed himself and approached his uncle.
"Let's go." He whispered in a trembling voice.
Thorin just smiled at him and gently guided him out of the bathroom. As they approached Fili waiting with the luggage, Kili could only think about how handsome the boy sitting on their luggage was. Fili was looking the other direction listening to some music on his phone. Kili could have a moment to compose himself and observe the blond teenager. He was so different from Kili and Thorin. He looked nothing like them. His hair was different, very light blond. He was short like uncle Thorin, a bit shorter than Kili. Kili could only admire the fashionable clothes perfectly fitting the blond. He immediately noticed the muscles, perfectly cut hair and first signs of a beard. He swallowed hard, as Thorin gently touched the blonde's arm making him jump a bit.
"Hey, I was getting worried." The blond gasped and pulled his earphones out.
"Fili!" He extended his arm towards the slightly taller younger brother.
"Kili." Came a shy hesitant response as Kili gently shook his hand.
"Let's get going. I'm hungry." Thorin told them and pulled the trolley towards the parking lot.
Kili watched them approach a new SUV car, and pack the luggage inside the back of the car. He helped them and climbed into the back seat.
"So do you want to go home first and order something, or do you want to stop by a restaurant on the way." Fili asked Thorin as he was starting the car.
"Order something home." Thorin replied swiftly thinking about Kili in the back seat being unusually quiet.
"Fine whatever, what do you feel like eating?" Fili asked swiftly.
"Pizza." Thorin replied and turned towards Kili. "What kind of pizza do you like best?" He asked the silent boy.
"Whatever is fine." Came a shy response.
Thorin knew that wasn't necessarily true but decided not to push the boy. He reached for his mobile and called their favourite pizza house and ordered three different types of pizza just to be on the safe side.
Kili looked at the house with wide open eyes. He had never seen a place like this, the house was enormous. There was a nice front yard and a driveway. On the right there was a big garage. He watched as his uncle and brother unpacked the car and he swiftly moved to grab at least part of the bags. He would do anything not to seem useless.
Thorin guided him into the house, the man seemed a bit worried the boy wasn't speaking, but decided to give him some time.
Kili watched the marble floors, wooden furniture, elaborate ornaments and everything in the house with fear in his eyes. This was unknown territory. He had no idea what they expected from him. Thorin showed him into a nice bedroom, and told him to come down soon for dinner.
Kili slowly took in the bedroom, and breathed in deeply finally being left alone for a moment. He was relived his brother wasn't insisting and overbearing, but he also felt a bit disappointed his brother didn't pay much attention to him.
He heard the doorbell ring, so he slowly composed himself and slowly walked down the stairs into the living room. The smell of fresh pizza filled his nose and he slowly headed in that direction.
Thorin was in the dining room setting some plates on the table and asked Kili to take anything he wanted.
It took Fili nearly ten more minutes to come down; he just smiled and without a word reached for a slice of pizza.
"So after dinner would you like a tour of the house?" He gently asked the younger boy, and he just saw a nod as a response.
"I'm going to the office tomorrow, but I'm taking some time off till the end of the week." Thorin told the boys. "I suggest you do the same Fili, we should spend some time together." The older man smiled.
"Skip school for nearly a week?" Fili smiled at his uncle, "That's something new."
"Maybe you could take Kili shopping tomorrow." Thorin suggested. "And then we could meet for lunch."
"Sound fine to me." Fili smiled. "Would you like that?" He turned to Kili with a smile and saw another anxious nod.
After eating Fili guided the younger boy into the other rooms on the ground floor, the boy wasn't saying anything, but Fili just chatted away about the house. He showed him the gym, the swimming pool, the library. He noticed the boy's eyes wander around nervously taking in all the things in the house. He was slightly disappointed the boy didn't speak in his presence, but decided to just continue showing him around. They walked around the garden, and later back into the house.
"Would you like some help unpacking?" Fili asked gently feeling the tense atmosphere around the boy.
"I'll manage." Came the shy response.
"I'll leave you to it then, rest a bit I'm sure you're tired after the long flight." Fili gently told him trying not to show disappointment and nervousness. This boy was a mystery to him; he had no idea how to read him. He seemed shy and reserved, but all uncle told him about the boy contradicted such a conclusion. He didn't say anything to him, but those deep gorgeous chocolate eyes were observing his every move. He was surprised how much the boy looked alike to both uncle Thorin and to their mother from the photos he saw. His hair was a bit long; his eyes had a nice deep shade of brown. To Fili's surprise the boy was already a bit taller than him, and considering his age it was probable he would still grow. He seemed much older than his age would suggest. His eyes were serious, and despite the anxiety and fear clearly visible, Fili could see the intelligence shine in them.
Fili went to sleep feeling some kind of emptiness. He was expecting a lot from meeting his brother and although the boy didn't want to talk to him he felt he wanted so much more from him. Those deep brown eyes were drawing him in, he admired the slim figure and he couldn't help but feel attracted to the younger boy.