Suddenly he was awoken by a strange noise. He tried to focus on what was going on, but then he realised the noise came from his brother's room. He slowly got up and gently walked up to the door of the neighbouring room.
Kili was asleep, but he was tossing and turning in the bed. The noises he was making were muffled, something between a sob and a cry of pain. Fili hesitantly walked up to the bed, and gently touched his brother's arm. Kili didn't wake up; instead he squirmed as if in pain and whispered "Please no more..." Fili's heart sank hearing those deep words; he gently sat on the bed and pulled his brother into an embrace.
At first Kili froze feeling someone touch him, but the gentle words whispered to him made him ease a bit. Slowly the dark memory from his childhood went away, and he blinked feeling awake. For a moment he had no idea where he was or who was hugging him. Then it all hit him, he was in his uncle's house in London. And as he gazed to the person holding him he could only breathe in relief that the person next to him was his older brother. He looked into those deep blue worried eyes, and suddenly he felt safe. Safer than ever. He gently snuggled into the arm of the blond, not wanting to look into his eyes and let him analyze the feelings he was feeling. Kili was surprised with the volume of emotions in his heart; this person in his bed was causing his heart to jump wildly. He couldn't stop thinking about how handsome his brother was. His brother was so much more than he wanted him to be.
Fili gently moved a tress of hair from Kili's forehead. He felt him slowly relax in the embrace. He did not say a thing, but he did not protest to the embrace. Thorin had mentioned the boy went through difficult experiences, but what Fili just saw was much more than just difficult experiences. The boy was welcoming his embrace and touch, so Fili shifted a bit and lay down next to him and pulled him closer. Soon he felt the body next to him relax and snuggling into his warm brother he fell asleep.
Kili awoke slightly surprised to feel so warm and comfortable. The idea in his head that he was safe was a new emotion. He focused on the feel of the strong male arms surrounding him. He looked up to Fili who was still sleeping peacefully. He wondered about why he stayed with him. He could have gone back to his bed when Kili had fallen asleep again last night. But he stayed, he cared enough to stay. He watched the man's handsome features, the short trimmed beard, and the soft blond hair. All the emotions stirring in him were not those of a brother. He felt like touching those beautiful soft lips with his own, he felt like touching his hair to feel if it was as soft as it looked like. He had always wondered what it felt to kiss someone, to feel someone's body next to his. He always felt boys were his thing, but the wave of emotions he felt meeting his own brother blew him off his feet. He couldn't speak to him, anytime he wanted to say something his stomach would come up his throat. He wanted him so badly; he wanted him to notice him, to pay attention to him. He was trilled his brother showed him around the house, and kept talking to him despite Kili not responding much.
"Ready for a busy day?" Fili gently asked him still having his eyes closed. He instinctively pulled the person next to him closer.
"What exactly are you planning?" Kili asked unsure of himself.
"What would you like?" Fili replied with a smile.
"I'm not sure." Kili replied shyly.
"I was thinking of hitting the shops, maybe you would like to go to the hairdresser?" Fili gently suggested.
"You don't like my hair?" Kili whispered in a terrified voice.
"No, I like it long, but you could use a bit of trimming." He told the boy softly. "I always wanted to have it long, but I have no patience in growing it long."
"It's not about patience; it's more about lack of time and cash to take care of it." Kili finally said his first full sentence towards his brother.
"You're never going to need to worry about cash anymore." Fili gently told him. "But I can't guarantee you'll have lots of time. Uncle will probably sign you up for school."
"I hate school." Kili whispered. "And school hates me."
"He'll probably sign you up to my school, so I'll keep an eye on you." Fili assured him. "It's a good private school, and it's not like you'll get stuck in a big class. Most students there study according to an individual programme."
"So the programme is accustomed to the student?" Kili asked curiously.
"Yeah, it's more or less tailored to fit the needs of the student." Fili admitted. "So let's get going, we're supposed to meet Thorin for lunch at one p.m. so we have like three hours for shopping." He gently got up and sat up in bed. He looked down to his brother still wrapped in the cover. He had to fight with the urge to pull him closer and kiss those lips. He was attracted physically to his own brother. The idea scared him a bit, but what made him freeze was the idea that this boy was barely fourteen and probably unaware of the feelings he was causing. He was his brother, he had to make him feel safe, and molesting him was not on the list of things he should do.
He swiftly got out of bed. "I'll meet you downstairs in twenty." He rushed out of the bedroom hoping his brother won't notice his hard on and his lustful eyes. Fili breathed in deeply shutting the door to his room. He headed towards the bathroom with only one idea in his head, to pull down his underwear and to relive himself. He knew he had to do something about this before seeing him again.
Kili was surprised his brother left him so quickly, but relived at the same time. His guilty little secret was painfully throbbing thinking about the arms that were around him just minutes ago. He quickly rushed under the shower to wash away the pre cum he could feel on his groin. In just several swift moves he squirmed feeling himself cum onto his hand. And he felt really guilty his last though was of his newly acquainted brother.
As soon as he went downstairs he smelt coffee, as soon as he reached the kitchen he saw Fili preparing some sandwiches. He sat down without a word, still feeling very guilty because of his feelings and what he did just minutes ago. Fili did not elaborate on the silence as well; he just placed a coffee and a plate in front of him.
"So let's start from shopping and then the hairdresser?" Fili gently asked as they were finishing.
"Sounds fine." Kili replied slowly.
"Are all of your clothes the same style?" Fili asked gently, and Kili just nodded.
"Will you let me chose some clothes for you?" Fili gently asked seeing some kind of anxiety in the boy's eyes.
"I don't want to be a bother." Kili finally told him.
"I have nothing better to do." Fili gently replied trying to ease the anxiety the boy was showing. "And I want to spend some time with you."
"Really?" Kili asked, and Fili could see some warmth appear in those illusive brown eyes.
"Really. So let's get going." Fili grabbed his car keys and urged Kili to get his coat.
Two hours later they were packing countless bags into the car. Kili had lots of fun trying all the clothes Fili was pushing at him. Later they had a huge fight about the cost, but Fili told him brutally to stop thinking about it and pulled him into more shops. They bought everything Fili could think of, starting from underwear, to a beautiful black leather jacket and many more fancy things. Kili had a huge problems dealing with the amount of money Fili spent on him, in his head he was adding up all the sums together, calculating the dollar value and with every next shop his heart was beating wildly. But Fili was equally stubborn and ignored any protests and kept buying more things. Later when they finished packing everything into the car, he pulled Kili towards the hairdresser.
Radagast was pure crazy lunatic, but he was a phenomenal hairdresser. Seeing Fili come in he immediately called his assistant to finish the current client and greeted Fili warmly. When Fili explained he brought Kili in for a haircut, Radagast smiled at the beautiful long chocolate hair.
Kili was terrified seeing the amount of hair being cut, but when the crazy man finally finished he was surprised to see he still had some hair left on his head. His brown locks were neatly trimmed to frame his face. He looked so much different to what he usually looked like, and now he looked even more alike to Thorin. He did not mind the change; somehow it made him feel safe. Fili's reaction was all he wanted, he saw those blue eyes look at him with surprise, and then he saw a radiant smile and those eyes became very warm and friendly.
"We've got fifteen minutes to get to the restaurant, so let's hurry." Fili encouraged Kili to change his clothes in the restroom and soon they left towards the restaurant where they were supposed to meet up with Thorin.
Thorin was really surprised with the change; Kili looked great with the new haircut and the new clothes. He looked much older than he was, and his serious deep eyes showed lots of life experience. They ate chatting carefully with each other, Kili complained about Fili spending too much money on him, and Thorin just smiled and replied it was just a small sum. Fili just looked up to Kili reciting the sums of money he had spent and giving the full amount of money spend on him that day. Thorin just replied that as long as they don't spend ten thousand times as much he's fine with any shopping. Kili just gulped hearing that, and went passive again. Fili immediately sensed the anxiety kick in again, but just let Kili compose himself.
"So apart from precisely counting all the bills, did you have a good time?" Thorin asked just before he left.
"Yes." Kili gently replied.
"Good, so why don't you both drop by the school in the afternoon. I've called in the headmaster and explained the issues with school, so instead of going according to standard programme they're going to try to meet your talents." Thorin informed them. "But that means they need to test you first."
"I hate tests." Kili quietly replied.
"I know you do. But it's just a first step, and no matter if you do well or terribly we're both going to support you." Thorin told him in a calm voice observing the boy's worrisome reactions.
"I'll try." Kili replied with tears in his eyes.
"That's good enough for me." Thorin gently patted him on the arm and said his goodbyes.
"My school is not that bad." Fili gently told him. "The headmaster Gandalf is really cool; he's a bit crazy just like Radagast. In fact I think they're close friends." Kili blinked at that information thinking about what kind of headmaster would be friends with a crazy hairdresser.
"As I've already told you most students go according to individual programmes, so nobody will treat you any differently. I'm not that perfect myself, so they just focused on what I'm best at." Fili admitted after a while.
"What are you best at?" Kili asked quietly, so quiet that Fili almost missed the question.
"Maths. I'm also pretty good at languages and I'm a member of rhetorical club. But I'm hopeless at any type of art stuff, or literature." Fili gasped thinking about those two.
"I like art." Kili admitted.
"Really?" Fili smiled. "I wish I could do that, but I'm simply hopeless. What else are you good at?"
"Sports probably." Kili replied hesitantly.
"What kind of sports?" Fili continued asking feeling the need to find out more.
"Most sports. But I love archery and shooting." Kili admitted.
"Those are not typical sports in our school, but I think we do have an archery section." Fili explained and he could see Kili's eyes go bright at that perspective. "I've been training fencing."
"Fencing?" Kili asked surprised.
"It's a family tradition." Fili replied softly. "But I like MMA better."
Kili's eyes lit up a bit. "Are you good?"
"Not the best. Uncle is really good at that." Fili told him and saw those gorgeous brown eyes go even wider.
"Is it difficult?" Kili asked worried.
"It takes some training, but I can teach you the basics if you'd like." Fili suddenly proposed. He saw Kili's eyes go deep and warm, and received a nod as a response.