APOV

I think back on every time I would see other young moms with their kids in the toy section of Wal-Mart or Target. I remember every time I would lay awake in bed wondering if my son like cars or dinosaurs, if my daughter was into dance or sports. The tears I was doing everything possible to keep in broke through and I was a mess, one I did not want to be in front of my kids and family.

"I like dinosaurs, my favourite movies is Jurassic Park and I play soccer and take dance classes. I am smarter then Noah and hate to swim because it hurts my ears and eyes and I always end up drinking the water. Daddy makes us take lessons and I hate it, it is the worst part of my week. I would rather have math class on christmas. I'm allergic to peanuts and bee's, but Noah is not allergic to anything which isn't fair at all. I have broken three bones, all because of being clumsy which dad says I got from you," Maia tells me, it just makes me cry harder.

Kate and Elliot leave the room, passing me a couple of kleenex on their way out, Noah leaves his chair to sit next to Maia. The way she looks at both Noah and Christian, they're her heroes and I know she will never look that way at me.

"I like art, it's the only class I enjoy going to. I have a girlfriend, her parents are both in the family but are just Capo's. We aren't related and we are going to get married, I love her. Maia and I both take every type of martial arts and weapon training we can full time every summer. I like to build and fix things, Taylor who is dad's right hand man is helping me build a Porsche from scratch and it is going to be sick. I play the piano like dad, Grandma Grace tells me that I am better then dad was at my age," Noah says with his brows furrowed, I think he is concerned for me. "When I was six I found video on dad's phone of you reading goodnight moon to me and Maia, she was like a week old and I was four. I transferred it to a mp3 file so I could hear your voice whenever I wanted and so could Maia."

That bit of information seems to have drawn Christian's attention, until someone cleared their throat behind me. Everyone turned to look at a woman in jeans, a black blouse and grey apron in the doorway.

"Dinner's ready and set up out on the terrace, Maia can't have the spinach salad because of the nuts in it but she can have everything else out there but just in case with wind and everything I dissolved a Benadryl into the lemonade at her setting," She announced.

"Thanks Gail, you and Taylor can have the night off. We'll have breakfast in the morning at seven and just prepare a bit of everything for everyone," Christian smiled.

We all stood up, I figured that I would follow behind Christian but Maia ran at me and pulled me through the house to the back terrace. It looked as though some guys were setting up a campfire about fifty feet from where we were eating, that was exciting. I haven't had one of those since I was Maia's age.

"You have to sit by me," Maia ordered.

Dear god, my daughter has my husbands personality. Kate smiled but her eyes were down, she was in full on sub mode right in front of the kids and they seemed to think nothing of it. Maybe I should ask her about that later on or tomorrow, I thought Christian was the only one who made his girlfriend/fiancé/wife act like that. I watched Kate to see what she did with Elliot, it must be like what I have to do with Christian.

Christian served his plate and Maia's while Noah served his, then Elliot served himself followed by Kate and then I was last putting some of everything on my plate because I know how Christian can be with food. Maia and Noah started to eat, I lived my fork then stopped when Christian coughed. What now? He always wants me to eat so I'm trying to, when I look at him he hasn't touched his food. I have to wait for him to eat first. I look at Kate and she is waiting for Elliot, and it still surprises me that the kids think nothing of it.

Dinner was long, it was a system that I did not know and Christian expected me to. I don't know what to do about it, it's that fight or flight part of me and I want to run again. Before we head over to the campfire Christian sent staff to go and get sweaters for the kids like they wouldn't know how to do it themselves, maybe in time I will get a say with things to do with the kids. The question would be if they listen.

Maia was sitting on Elliot's lap while they both roasted marshmallows while covered in melted chocolate and marshmallow. Noah had a notebook out and was sketching out something in it, it was his only focus but I was surprised that he could even see what he was doing.

"Elliot, what is happening in the Burroughs?" Christian asks.

"FBI has people with a couple groups in Queens, I think that they think we work out of Queens which couldn't be further then the truth. Danny is taking them out for the standard racketeering initiation and if they fail, well they will face the consequences. The NYPD is trying to take down Luke and Mia for loansharking and god knows what else but Luke is handling that, setting them off on our team on Staten Island who know to take the heat or face the punishment. The main issue is in Tribeca, we are facing some big issues with the Westies who are coming in on our turf and acting like nothing is wrong. They've killed and people are looking at us like we're at fault, Welsh is with them and getting someone to say something so he has the proof before dropping it off with the police. They still don't suspect him," Elliot ran off, I can't believe they talk like this in front of my kids. "That brings us to Noah."

"Noah?" I blurt out.

Everyone turns to look at him but it doesn't phase him at all, he just continues to draw and act like the conversation has not been passed on to him. I don't feel like Christian is going to take this well; meanwhile Maia is eating like her sixth smore.

"Ryan said something to me so I shut him up," Noah finally spoke. "He's still alive!"

That was not the direction that I saw this conversation going, Christian shot to his feet and started to rant on in Italian about making the family proud and not beating someone up just for making one stupid comment. Half of what he was saying I didn't get because he was going so fast but by the end Maia was laughing and Noah look mad and guilty at the same time.

"What is so funny, Mouse?" Christian shouted. She answered in sign language so I had no idea what she said. "What did he say to you?" And suddenly Christian was calm.

"He said, and I quote, by the end of the week your dad will be taken down and he won't have seen whats coming for him because all of you Luciano's are going down and we will be in your place. In the end I will do you in and your sister will be mine," Noah tried but failed at an Irish accent. "Then I beat him until he was sent to the hospital and has at least a dozen broken bones, the most painful being his jaw because he doesn't know when to shut up. Uncle Luke took care of everything so I'm not being charged by the cops or anything!"

"I'm going to kill all of those Westies fuckers!" Christian growled.

"Daddy!" Maia shouted.

The anger and rage that radiated off of Christian next to me dissipated as soon as he heard our daughters voice, he opened his arms and she ran around the fire into them. The sticky marshmallow that covered her face transferred to his cheek when she kissed it, a giggle escaped my mouth but quickly stopped when I realized where I was.

"Mouse, you need to go get ready for bed. Noah, you too. I'll be up in forty five minutes to make sure everything is in order, I think we are going to have to homeschool you two for the rest of the year."

The kids went inside oddly followed by Kate and Elliot, leaving just Christian and I out in the yard still watched by a fair amount of security. His arm moved around my waist before lowering to my ass. In a blink I was straddling his lap and looking into his eyes, the fire behind me reflecting in the grey of his eyes making him look even more intimidating and scary.

"You've done well today Kitten," Christian smiled. "The kids seem to like you and you've done well with them. Do you have any questions for me before you go up and face a couple of punishments?"

There is always a catch, he was being so nice but I'm being punished tonight. I mean I get it, I did run off then show up with out any notice wanting to see the kids and tonight when he gave me instructions I didn't necessarily listen.

"How come Kate was like that with Elliot, in front of the kids? And why don't the kids think anything of it, I mean Maia is not even ten yet and it is like she believes that men are at a higher level and women are there for them. I just don't understand the structure of everything and it... well I don't know how it makes me feel," I ramble on.

"Kate is Elliot's wife but she is also his pet, they have their relationship set with how their interactions are in private and public. The kids have grown up around this so to them it is normal to see, and they will expect that from you and me. They will expect a marital relationship mixed with a dominant and submissive one. Mia and Luke have the same relationship but their public relations are different, Luke will punish her in the presence of family but won't if we are out at a restaurant or shopping. You can discuss her beliefs with Maia because I cannot speak on behalf of her; however, I can say in our family, direct and the ones who works for us, men are higher and the wives are there for the men. A wife in our family is a pet, you should know what I need before I do, you should know to ask for permission, to wait until I take a bite of a meal first and your goal should be to make me happy. That is the structure and if you need a list of rules I will write it out for you but if you get confused you can also ask Kate or Mia or any other woman in the family. Breathe Kitten, everything will be okay if you listen and learn. We also need to start your weapons and fight training soon so other groups don't look at you like an easy hit, that is the last thing I need right now."

I let out a breath that I didn't even know that I was holding. I don't know if I like him calling me kitten but during his little explanation of my role it made me squirm uncomfortably, but then his little friend became much more noticeable.

The silk cocktail dress he made me wear tonight does nothing to protect me from the night's chill, sure the fire has helped but it's April in New York which is nothing like how it is in Arizona. His hands are on my ass, squeezing it like he owns it because in his head he does now. I guess he does, I was stupid enough earlier to sign the stupid marriage licence.

"Why did Kate and Elliot go in with the kids?"

"They know that I need to talk to you, and if I hadn't sent adult supervision Maia would be in the kitchen probably eating something she isn't supposed to and Noah would go to the TV room and start goofing off on the X-Box."

"Oh, and why do you talk about the mafia stuff in front of them?"

"It's their life too, they don't know what is happening they won't know what to look out for to protect themselves. This is how they have grown up and you cannot complain about that now. You left Anastasia, you didn't raise them how you would have I did." He took a big calming breath. "Now, what are you being punished for?"

I bit my lip, thinking back over the day of everything I did that would warrant a punishment and the only thing I can think of is running away and coming back. His right hand rested under my chin and his thumb pulled my lip loose. I just looked at him, not knowing what to say or how to say it.

"I don't really know Christian, because I came back? Because I left in the first place?"

"If you were to be punished for leaving you would be dead by now, I don't hold onto things the way you think I do, and I am mad about you coming back but the training over the next three months will be punishment enough for that. Think back to dinner, up until then you were doing great."

"I didn't wait for you to take a bite first?"

"No, during dessert when we were discussing next weeks schedule with the kids' activities. You were already overwhelmed with everything and I could tell, but then you shifted and angled yourself to the side of the house with less security and a clearer path. You wanted to run again, you were going to run again but then I decided to go over to the fire when you hesitated. I had to take your arm and lead you over here because you wanted to and were going to run. I can read you clearly Anastasia, don't think you can get anything past me." He pulled out a platinum and sapphire necklace from his pocket, beautifully woven together, and a tiny screw driver. He put it around my neck and screwed the clasp shut so I was unable to take it off without him there. "This necklace also represents a collar, to show my ownership of you. I didn't want to put you in an actual permanent one yet, unless you misbehave and disobey more. It is equipped with a tracking system and a perimeter system. If you leave the boundaries of the property without me you will be shocked and it will hurt like hell, but you need to learn that running solves nothing and only ruins you life and your family's. Go up to the master, strip down to your panties, french braid your hair and kneel at the foot of the bed. Wait there for me and don't move, I have cameras in there so I will know. Do not touch the heating system and I will come in when I'm ready, this is the first part of your punishment."