Authors Note: Sorry for everything yesterday, I had to get my boyfriend to upload a couple of chapters because they were on the desktop and not my laptop and I have been in treatments for a while. The last two uploaded were the wrong files and this is the right one. I hope that no one is really mad at me, honest mistake. Thanks.

CPOV

I left Ana in good hands when I heard a car coming up the drive, we flew out her psychiatrist so that I can have some background on the situation and Ana could have someone she trusts to talk to. Once Emily Cook arrived we talked briefly but then headed towards the kitchen were we listened to Kate and Ana talk, Kate could see us but Ana was focused on Kate and her hands. Now the three of us are sitting at the table not talking.

Emily told me about the on and off depression Ana can suffer from and the mental and emotional abuse that are still strong barriers with everything Ana does. I had no idea, if I did we may have never faced these empty years.

"Ana, I took out time to talk to Christian about some things. I know you trust him, it's one of the bright things you talk about," Emily started. I look at Ana who is blushing and looking at her hands. "I need you to be honest with me, are you suicidal right now?"

"No… I don't think so. No, I am sticking with no," Ana stammered.

"She tried to get me to shoot her!" I argue.

Emily smiles, how could she be happy when Ana wants to die? I mean she is supposed to be a professional not just another loon in her life.

"Mr. Grey, it means she won't do anything to herself but she is in a low place. I don't know what to suggest other then daily sessions with me in person, over the phone or on Skype and lots of happy moments. Have her spend time with the kids, being out in the sun is always good and balanced meals. We have always worked on a structure system with her, I can give you past schedules that we have used and you can tell us if it works," Emily says to me.

"I'm fine, please. I can't try anymore!" Ana argued.

"Thanks Emily, we can work with that. Does she have any antidepressants that she can go back on or an anti-anxiety?"

"No, we have had to work without medication due to her past medical records with addiction to various substances. Environment, physical activity and a healthy diet have always helped her and that is what Jennifer started with her back in Phoenix." Emily turned to Ana, her face now serious. "Have you talked to Jack, Carla or Stephan lately?"

"I spoke to Jack on the phone this morning," Ana admitted like Maia when she gets caught red handed. "I called him."

"No contact, it is the reason Jennifer had you move back to New York. I know you will not listen to me right now but what they told you over and over again is not true, you are a beautiful and smart young woman with a bright future. This man here is the one you love, the bright light in everything you have told us. This man here is who you need to talk to, not Jack, Carla or Stephan. Your family here is the family that counts, and I know that you are scared due to the fact they are in the mafia but think of it like they will never let anyone harm you again. He won't hurt you, nor will your in-laws and they will keep them away from you."

I won't hurt her? Fuck I ruined her, I am the reason she had this breakdown in the first place. If that stupid shrink only knew the whole story. Ana's big blue eyes are on me, does she want me to say something to the shrink? Does she want me to tell the shrink that I spent the last to days basically beating her like a useless slave, treating her like dirt. Fuck I screwed up this time, more then every other time. I am a stupid, stupid fool.

"I'll do anything and everything in my power to keep her safe and keep those people away from her. I'll do anything to help," I say.

"I'm going to head back to the city, call me at any time Ana and take care. If you need to take time, take it."

"Can I ask a question first?" Ana quietly spoke, we both nodded at her. "I want more of a say in everything. I want a say with the kids and meals and such. I know Christian's been holding tight to that since they're not used to me but I need that."

I agree quickly, there isn't much else that I can do for her and if she needs this I guess I really have no choice. I set a pen and paper by Ana and let her write out the rules she wants, I have a strong feeling that things are going to change dramatically.

While I walk Emily out to the car which will take her to the airport so we can fly her back she stops and looks at me, not like most people it is like she is going to try and get a read on me and it looks like its working.

"This house is the one she left from, yes?" I nod. "Take her somewhere else, I think it will bring up more then she believes. Keep your underground work away from her and if I hear anything from her that should worry me I will report it. I don't care how powerful you are."

She gets into the car and one of my guys drives her away. I turn back to the house and walk in, Maia and Noah are in the formal dining room working on their school work with a tutor that I hired while we're here.

"I need you two to come to the kitchen with me, family meeting time," I sigh.

Noah looks worried but Maia bolts there, excited to see her mother. We all sit at the table and Ana hands me the sheet of paper with her rules.

No guns in the house. No visual punishments or sexual acts. Kids help with clean up after breakfast and dinner. No martial arts or weapons training for kids or me (Ana). I (Ana) make dinner three nights a week. No talk of work, underground work, at home around me (Ana) or the kids. As married partners and parents, we both decide on punishments.

I look over at Ana like she has lost her mind. Maybe she has, maybe I have but I said she could make rules but this was not what I expected. I mean why don't I just up and leave the life and we can all move to Seattle or Fiji. I wonder what would happen if I left the life, if I hadn't become the boss.

"What's happening to daddy?" Maia asks.

"Huh?" I mumble.

"Christian? Babe, you've been off on Mars for fifteen minutes,"Ana says.

"Sorry, I need to take a walk. Do what you want till I'm back."

I get up and rush to my office, Taylor and Elliot are just lounging around like they have nothing to do with their lives. I turn to look at the door and see Ana hovering there, she comes in and closes the door. I start pacing about with three sets of eyes on me.

"Why am I here? I mean seriously, what am I doing here at this moment and in this life?! This isn't what I wanted or tried for. This pain, its like it will never end!" I shout.

"Christian? What are you talking about?" Elliot hesitates.

"Fucking everything man! I don't understand a fucking thing, it's like I was suddenly in this place from nothing, it's like I blink and I am in a new situation, another blink and it is like I can't recognize my own family but I do. What the fuck!"

"Babe, you're scaring me," Ana trembles.

"You're scare? I'm fucking scared. What is happening Ana? Who the fuck am I? Who are you? There are times when I can't… I just can't…" I'm starting to panic.

Ana moves toward me, "Christian, sit down and look at your feet. Focus on your feet and take long breaths. Breathe in and count to five, breathe out and count to six. I think you are having a panic attack but everything will be fine."

"It's not fine! I feel like I am being choked and suffocated right now!"

"Then listen, relax and look at your feet. Please Christian. Do this for me."

I collapse back in my chair and look at my feet, breathing in and out while counting. The world is still closing in on me. I can't take it.

One…

Two…

Three…

Four…

Five…

Six…

Seven…

Eight…

Nine…

Ten…

Ana was by my side when my breathing went back to normal, the alarms suddenly going off all around the house. Noah and Maia run in, Kate waddling behind them. Taylor rushes out to go and get Gail, shit this is the last thing I need.

"Daddy?" Maia whimpers.

"It's going to be okay, we're going home sooner then planned though. Noah needs to stay with Gail and Jason while Maia needs to stay with me. We all know what to do."

Taylor comes back in and we flip open a bookcase which is really just a fake in order to store guns, we pass them out to everyone but Ana backs up and clearly refuses. For the love of god, does she not realize that this could be life or death.

I grab her wrist harsh and place the gun in her hand, if she drops it or throws it I am going to have a fit. Thankfully she doesn't, and we can move. Twelve of our security are waiting outside the office door and help escort us through the house to the garage. Five out of twelve of our cars are fitted with bullet proof material. Noah would be riding with Gail and Jason in the SUV, Kate and Elliot went for the Infinity Q50, and I push Ana and Maia into the Audi RS 7 Sportback. We are the last to leave the garage and property, but we are the main target. The cars and guys running around my property firing their weapons at the house and car were easily identified. Fucking Westies! Will they not give me a fucking break!