"What?" Penny stood on tiptoes as she attempted to see over Sheldon's shoulder and Leonard peered around his side, tugging Penny back down a few steps until they were out of sight.
"Amy? Oh, darlin'…It's alright, I'm here…" Sheldon hurried over to where Amy was curled up sobbing against his apartment door. He tugged her onto his lap and Amy immediately wrapped her arms around his waist to hold on tightly to the hems of his t-shirts. Sheldon glanced over his shoulder to see Leonard peering his head around the corner of the stairwell and jerked his head toward the door. "Sshh…I'm not going anywhere." Sheldon crooned to his wife as she murmured something incoherently into his neck, frightened that he was going to let her go.
"Buddy…here, let me get the door for you." Leonard said as he jogged up the few remaining steps and unlocked the apartment door. "Need a hand?" He asked, gesturing to Amy and Sheldon shook his head as he scooped Amy higher into his arms and got to his feet with barely any effort. He carried Amy into the living room, and hesitated before continuing down the hallway into his bedroom; setting her carefully down onto his bed and curling his lean frame around her smaller body; offering the shelter of his arms.
Leonard stepped back out of the apartment, closing the door quietly behind him. He glanced over to see Penny's sombre expression. She simply held out her hand and led him inside her own apartment. "You can stay with me tonight, Leonard. I think they need some time to themselves."
"Thanks, Penny." Leonard gave her hand a little squeeze and she sat down on her aqua couch propping her feet on the coffee table. As soon as Leonard dropped down beside her, she took his hand again and nestled her head against his shoulder.
"Poor Sheldon." She sighed and felt Leonard nod in agreement. They sat there in comfortable silence, both wondering what had Amy crying outside of Sheldon's apartment.
"Feel like talking yet, sugar?" Sheldon murmured against Amy's soft hair once her tears had slowed to the occasional hiccup. She blew her nose with a soggy tissue crumpled in her hand and turned around in Sheldon's arms so that she was facing him.
"I didn't want to leave you this afternoon…"
"Aw, darlin'…" Sheldon raised his hand to cup Amy's tear stained cheek and she closed her eyes at the tenderness of his touch.
"I had to force myself to walk down those stairs and drive back to my apartment…I just kept thinking to myself; why doesn't he hate me?"
"Amy! I could never hate you!" Sheldon exclaimed, pulling her closer to him and resting his head on her hair. "Never, never…I've loved you ever since the day you corrected my wording in that first lecture and I never stopped; not even when I thought I would never see you again." Sheldon leant back slightly so that he could look into her eyes. "I love you."
"I hurt you so badly, how could you possibly still love me after everything that I've done?" Amy cried out, and Sheldon shook her arms slightly as he tried to make her understand the depths of his feelings.
"You were hurting too, and I should have never let you go off with your mother without me. I was too focused on my own hurt to realise just how low you had gotten. It should be me at your feet asking for your forgiveness, rather than you apologising to me."
"I should never have left you and for that I am truly sorry…" Amy tugged at his hair to get Sheldon to lower his head, and when he obliged she kissed his cheek gently. "I'm sorry." Another kiss to his forehead. "I'm sorry." The last kiss was a lingering brush against his mouth that left his lips tingling and wanting more. When Amy pulled away Sheldon tucked her head under his chin and she snuggled up against him as their arms found their old resting places; hers under his arms and his crossed loosely in the small of her back.
"How long did it take your arm to heal completely?" Amy murmured as her fingers traced lightly over the slightly raised scar tissue she could feel through the thin layers of his shirts.
"A few months, there wasn't any nerve damage luckily so it was just a case of having a bit of therapy to get the muscles working again and stretching the skin."
"My poor Stringbean…" Amy pressed a light kiss to his shoulder and Sheldon twitched a little at her caress. "Ooh…still ticklish there I see." Amy chuckled lightly and Sheldon frowned at her. Her smile immediately straightened out as she looked a little contrite and swiped a cross over her heart.
"What about you? How long before you began to feel better?" Sheldon shifted slightly on the bed, rolling onto his back and bringing Amy down to rest against his side. He yawned slightly, feeling the effects of the one and a half Long Islands' as Amy brought one of her legs up to rest across his and his hand slipped down to pat her thigh.
"I guess it was about a year before I stopped crying every time I saw someone with a baby, and nearly two when I didn't feel guilty for smiling…I wish I hadn't ripped up all of her pictures though; that's one of my biggest regrets, I don't have anything left to remind me of our pumpkin."
"I didn't want to say anything before…but I kept a few things back." Sheldon admitted softly and Amy looked up at him in shocked relief. "A picture from one of the last sonograms, a little teddy bear and the blanket that we were going to bring her home in…Mama's got a shawl that she and Meemaw crocheted and Missy made a cute little pair of booties, I didn't get rid of anything."
"Can…Can I see them?" Amy asked tearfully and Sheldon nodded. He lifted her leg off his lap and scooted to the edge of the bed, bringing up a worn leather satchel from under the bed. He placed it carefully on the mattress and Amy smiled as she recognised it as the one she had bought him as a wedding present. Sheldon lifted his hip to remove his wallet from his back pocket and he took out the small laminated pouch containing the last remaining image of his precious little girl. He set it down on top of the satchel and waited for Amy to compose herself.
Amy shifted the pouch to one side and undid the fastenings of the satchel first, slowly folding back the top and pulling out the soft, white bear from inside. "He's just as lovely as the day we bought him." She said quietly as she ran her fingers over his towelling material body. "We got him in that little hospital gift shop after collecting the pictures from that first scan."
"You were so sure we were having a boy, and desperately wanted that horrible blue one." Sheldon said as he took the bear and smiled fondly at the sewn on features. "I was convinced it was a girl and made you buy this one instead."
"And you were right…as usual." Amy said with a grin, and caught her breath as she pulled the cushiony, patchwork blanket out of the satchel. "It's still smells so fresh!" She brought it to her nose and breathed in deeply, closing her eyes as she remembered sitting up at night piecing the quilt together from scraps of material while waiting for Sheldon to get back from one of his tutoring classes.
"I throw it in the wash every once in a while…" Sheldon admitted, "Sometimes I can't sleep and I put it under my pillow, it reminds me of you."
"I've got one of your shirts that I sleep in occasionally; that pale blue one that you didn't like the collar on?"
"I wondered what happened to that one! Clothes thief…" Sheldon tapped the tip of her nose and Amy laughed as she carefully replaced the quilt and teddy back in the satchel and fastened the straps. Her hands trembled as she reached for the last item and she gulped hard, Sheldon's lean hand covered her own and he murmured reassurances into her ear as they pulled the small picture out of the pouch together.
"Oh, my baby…" Amy whispered as her fingers traced every detail on the black and white image. "She was perfect, wasn't she Sheldon?"
"In every detail." He confirmed, blinking back tears as he watched Amy croon softly to the picture.
"How could I have forgotten that tiny button nose? Or that little dimple in her chin? Oh, Shelly…" Amy pressed the picture to her heart and turned her head into Sheldon's chest as she started crying softly. He ran his hands soothingly up and down her back and murmured soft words of encouragement in her ear.
"It's alright, darlin'…let it all out, I'm here…I'm here."
"Our precious baby…she didn't get to grow up and start school, we didn't get to cry over her first nativity play; she'll never lose her first tooth and ask about the tooth fairy or Santa…so many things that we never got to experience with her… I miss her, Sheldon; I want her back." Amy cried harder against Sheldon's chest and he felt her hot tears soaking into his shirt.
"I know, Amy; I miss her every darn day and it's like an ache in my heart that won't ever completely go away…that's when I get out her things and remember the good days; how terrified we were the day we found out, the squabble we had over choosing the paint for the nursery. The first time we felt her kick and you swore that she was going to bust your bladder. The laughter, the joy and the tears…they all add up to Emily Rose, and I keep her here." Sheldon tapped his forehead and Amy managed a watery smile.
"I've never envied you for that memory of yours…but I really do now." Sheldon looked down at the picture still clasped gently in Amy's hand and placed his own hand over the top.
"Then you keep it…I've got her in my memory and in my heart; I don't need the picture to remember our little girl." Amy's eyes brightened up a little at his suggestion and she threw her free arm around his waist, snuggling back under his chin.
"Thank you, Sheldon…I'll keep her safe, I promise."
"I know you will." Sheldon dropped a kiss to Amy's forehead and she hummed under her breath. "I've missed that sound." Amy's brow wrinkled in confusion as she leant back a little in his arms and Sheldon placed another soft kiss, this time on her mouth and she gave another little hoot of approval. "That little hooting thing you do whenever I kiss you." Amy flushed, having forgotten that her feelings were so easily betrayed and Sheldon grinned as he lowered his head to rub their noses together. "I'm hungry, feel like getting something to eat?"
"I could eat…" Amy said as her stomach suddenly let out a gurgle. "Yep, definitely."
"What do you fancy? Italian, Chinese, Thai?" Sheldon kissed her nose again, before rolling off the bed to get to his feet. He held out a hand and Amy let herself be pulled alongside him as he tugged her out of his bedroom and down the hallway.
"Got any bread?" Amy asked, cuddling into his side as if she couldn't bear to be separated from him even for a moment and Sheldon smiled down at her as he remembered one of their comfort foods from their marriage.
"Cheese on toast?"
"Perfect." Amy nodded and Sheldon set her on a stool at the counter as he started assembling the ingredients. "That was my job." She said, holding out her hand for the cheese and the knife. "You did the bread and I, the cheese."
"Bossy boots." Sheldon dropped a brief kiss against her lips as he slid the cutting board closer to Amy and then he turned to the bread bin. "Hmm…I thought I had more than that. I bet Penny's been helping herself to breakfast again."
"Penny?" Amy heard the slightly jealous note in her voice and winced, hoping that Sheldon hadn't caught it. Unfortunately he had, and looked over with a tender expression.
"Not my type…she's a blonde would-be actress that lives across the hall; she and Leonard dated for a while, he's still got a bit of a thing for her but she's commitment shy and they're currently in that friend zone. Unfortunately, she still thinks it is okay to come over and poach our groceries whenever she feels like it, and I'm going to have to issue her with another strike."
"Sorry…I don't know what came over me," Amy started to apologise and Sheldon interrupted her by placing his index finger over her lips and then leaning down to kiss her thoroughly. It was their first intimate kiss in nearly ten years and they didn't waste a moment; tongues exploring forgotten areas and relearning the other's unique taste.
"I like it when you get a little possessive…and my preference has always been for cuddly, spectacle wearing brunettes with gorgeous emerald eyes…and don't you forget it!" Sheldon panted out after he raised his head, breathing a little quickly from lack of oxygen.
"God, I'd forgotten how well you kissed!" Amy breathed out, fanning her face a little to cool off. "It reminded me of our first dinner date, who would have thought that the shy and awkward Sheldon Cooper could be such a stud between the sheets?"
"I didn't put out on our first date!" Sheldon corrected, and Amy waggled her eyebrows.
"We did get to the bedroom though…Or was that someone else that ripped the buttons off my blouse?"
"Dear Lord!" Sheldon exclaimed as he recalled exactly what date Amy was referring to. "I was a complete savage, I'm surprised you even agreed to see me again after that night."
"No, honey…you were just a normal guy that suddenly realised what his little friend was really for; and you didn't hear me complaining, did you?"
"Well, you did scream a couple of times but it was more along the lines of…"
"I think that's enough of that conversation for now." Amy swiftly interrupted, her cheeks scarlet with embarrassment, remembering all too clearly what she had said and done in the confines of Sheldon's room that night. Whilst Sheldon was correct in the fact that they hadn't gotten as far as having intercourse that night, it was only because they had been too exhausted after exploring each other's bodies all night long. They had more than made up for it the following night, and the night after that…not spending a single night apart until the day of the fateful accident.
"Aw…just as things were getting interesting." Sheldon teased and pecked her cheek. "I'm going to pop across the hall to see if Penny's got any bread. I know she did her grocery shop this morning and hopefully she bought another loaf to replace what she used her. Won't be a minute." Sheldon grabbed his keys out of the porcelain bowl and jogged across the hallway.
Knock, knock, knock "Penny." Sheldon rapped three times on her apartment door and was preparing to repeat the knock when Leonard pulled the door open, his face wreathed in concern.
"Sheldon, everything okay over there?" For once Sheldon wasn't overly concerned with being prevented from completing his ritual and smiled at his roommate.
"Everything's fine, Leonard. Amy just needed a little comfort, we had a chat and she's a little better now. Is Penny there? She stole our bread again and Amy wants cheese on toast."
"I told her to let me know when she finished something." Leonard called out to Penny over his shoulder, and she came to the door. "You ate Sheldon's bread and didn't replace it again."
"Shoot! I knew there was something I meant to bring over, hang on a sec." Penny ran over to her kitchen and started rummaging around. "Here, one loaf of bread, a carton of juice and some milk; I picked them up this morning." She handed everything over to Sheldon and he tucked them under his arm. "You okay, sweetie?"
"Great, couldn't be better." Sheldon beamed at Penny and she patted his shoulder.
"Good, Leonard's going to stay over on my couch tonight so there's no need to shove Amy out at bedtime. He's still got a few of his things over here so I'll make sure he doesn't disturb you guys."
"Thanks, I'd better get back before she starts thinking that I've moved in over here; we've already had one awkward conversation about why our female neighbour would help themselves to breakfast in our apartment."
"Sweetie…I hoped you told her that you're so not my type?"
"Rest assured Penny, I thoroughly demonstrated that you were clearly not my type." Sheldon winked over at his neighbour and it was only then she took in his dishevelled appearance; hair out of place, swollen mouth and shirts wrinkled from where they had been gripped tightly, she also saw the tear stains on his shoulder and chest and choked back any smart comment she would have made.
"Good for you, sweetie. I hope everything works out for the two of you this time."
"So do I, Penny." Sheldon said quietly as he gave them both a small smile and stepped back out of the apartment.
"Oh Leonard…I hope she doesn't let him down again." Penny sighed heavily as she watched the door close behind their friend. Leonard tugged her down to sit next to him and wrapped his arm around her shoulder.
"If she does, we'll be here to pick up the pieces and put him back together again."