APOV

Emily made me talk today, I hate these impromptu meetings with her when something goes wrong. I can't help it, it's my head. Sometimes my head heads in one direction when I know that it should be going in the other direction.

"I'm sorry," I mutter.

"You don't have to be, Ana we know that you can't help it all the time so don't worry about it too much. I want to know what you need right now, I need you to let me in and help you and not just talk to me," Emily calmly explained.

"I'm locked in here," I tap my head. "Emily, I can't control when I am here or when I am not. When something gets too hard for me."

"I know, and you know we have never given you a diagnoses for what has been happening, but given your history with Carla, Stephan and Jack we have always known what's has been going on. Christian wants to start you on medication, we would have someone maintain them so you don't get carried away but with medication, therapy and stimulation you will live a normal life."

"What's wrong… with… with me?"

"We all believe that you are living with Dissociative Identity Disorder, it is common with children who suffered sexual and emotional abuse. Millions of people live with this and thrive, they can work and take care of their families without a worry. You just have to trust my judgement and Christian's."

"Anything to get better before the limes," I try and smile.

"Limes?"

"Yeah, Christian downloaded this app that tells you a fruit or vegetable comparison of your babies. Currently they are limes."

We talk for another hour about everything, medications and dosages. We talked about Christian's new mind set on moving to Seattle and I tell her why I am scared of that. I can't be close to them because they will find me and take me away. I don't want that.

She wrote out a prescription that she gave to Christian instead of me but she gave me a list of names: BuSpar, Keppra and Resperdal. They are an Anxiety pill, Mood controller and an anti-psychotic, low dosages for a while to see how my body reacts to them. When I look over at Christian and Emily she is giving him a couple sheets of I don't know what but I start the meds tomorrow.

I can't take this too personally, it's like ever one in five suffer from mental illness or something. We can do this, I know I can do this. It's not just for me, I have Christian, Noah, Maia and the limes. I just have to remind myself of that all the time.

Christian leads me out of the car and we start to drive out to Brooklyn, the opposite direction of Maia and home. I look over at him and he gives nothing away.

"Where are we going?" I mumble.

"Brooklyn," He smirks.

"But… why?"

"It's a surprise."

"I don't want it. Christian I hate surprises, that last one you had was great but I get all panicky and I don't like it."

"Breathe, this is a good surprise. One Emily has helped me with."

Fuck, he is taking me to a hospital to lock me up, what else would Emily have said to him. I try to open the door to leap out, I don't want to be committed, I am not that sick. Please Christian, don't drop me off. I'm okay. I'm okay. The medications will help. He grabs my hands with one of his and holds them in my lap while he continues to drive.

We pull up at someone's house, big yard and I can hear dogs barking left, right and center. Christian gets out and walks around to my side, opening my door and helping me out. I follow him up to the front door, a lady and man stand there waiting with this dark brown retriever which is really calm.

"Nice to see you again Mr. Grey," The lady smiles. "Mrs. Grey, it is a pleasure to meet you. This is Hardy." She motions to the dog. "Why don't you both come in?"

We follow the couple into the house, I grasp onto Christian's hand like it is my lifeline. I love the dogs name, it's the last name of my favourite author. We sit in a kitchen where tea, coffee and treats are set up. We all sit around the circle and the dog sits beside me, I stroke his head and he puts his head on my lap. I beam at Christian, happier then I have ever been.

I used to always want a dog, but Stephan and Mom would tell me that I had to do something for them before they would consider it. When mom was with Ray he had a dog, a military one that was really bonded with him but they both died overseas in some mission. No more dog. No more Ray. Only me and mom. Only me mom and Stephan.

The dog nuzzles my hand which has stopped petting him, licking my hand as his tail wags back and forth. The lady hands me a dog treat and I feed it to Hardy. I look over at Christian who is smiling back at me, he seems awed by the interaction I have with the dog. I look back at Hardy who is probably the calmest retriever that I have ever met, usually I am tackled by them and they jump up on me.

"Mrs. Grey, Hardy is a service dog who is trained to work with people who have mental illnesses. We have talked long with your doctors and your husband, Hardy is trained for you. This week we will bring him to the apartment for a couple hours each day then by next sunday, not this one, he will be all yours," The lady explained.

"I don't understand."

She hands me a list of what he is trained to do. Tactile stimulation to disrupt emotional overload; Break the spell and/or combat sedative effects; Wake partner for work or school; Provide deep pressure for calming effect; Crowd control, panic prevention in public; Arouse from fear paralysis or disassociation spell; Prevent or combat emotional overload; Get partner out of an upsetting situation; Assist partner to leave an area by finding an exit; Medication reminder; Bring Medications and drink; and Reducing hyper-vigilance.

The dog is trained to help me cope and work with all my issues, but how would it know if I was in a fear paralysis or disassociation spell. Half the time I don't know when it is happening or when I am in one.

"The training is done, the next week and a bit is to help Hardy know you so he will always be able to help you," Christian added.

"Thank you," I smile.

"You are very welcome. I just want to help, Anastasia."

" I know."

We spend the next five hours with Hardy and his trainers, we get to know each other and the last hour it was just Hardy and me in the backyard. He is a great dog, and who knows but this could help. We can't be sure about anything, just that we can try and try again. I didn't want to leave him but Christian says that they will be over with him in the morning for six hours and I'm happy again.

We drive to Elliot and Kate's, Maia has been there most of the day with her cousins. Ava is over in her eight month pregnant glory. She is having a little boy who is due near the end of september, she is living with Jude in the same building as Elliot and Kate two floors down. This way she has all the support of family but the couple life she deserves with Jude. Christian and I lived three five floors below Grace and Carrick when we were home and not in Boston for his schooling, it really helped when they liked me.

Maia runs to us when we walk in, explaining her day and what she has heard in sign language which I am getting quite good at. I think they don't expect her to be able to hear since her hearing aids are out, the little monkey is keeping it a secret. Something she says makes Christian pissed and he storms further into the penthouse to find Elliot and Kate, they go into the office and I can hear him yelling at them.

"Hey Auntie Ana, how are you?" Jacob smiles.

"I'm good, how is your summer vacation Jake?"

"Great, I am taking this military camp this month up in Newport which I am really excited about. It's just different and I like that. Plus it gets me away from Mom and Ava who are both annoyingly hormonal and Rachel who keeps us up all night."

"That is really exciting, why did you decide to sign up for that?"

"I figured if Noah could follow his heart and do art school I could do what I want and go for the army. I want to be a Navy SEAL."

"Aim high, fly higher. My dad, Ray, he was a Marine and that is what he always told me. Keep that in mind Jake."

"I will, thanks. Can I ask you something?"

"Always."

"When's your due date?"

"January 11th."

He nods and walks away, turning back to look at me before joining his brother in front of the television. Maia clings onto my arm when Christian storms back into the room, Kate and Elliot are close behind but they look like their tail is between their legs.

"Family dinner is tonight at our house, call Luke and Dad because everyone has to be there and no one can excuse themselves from this," Christian bellowed.

I follow Christian out, he scooped up Maia for a quicker escape. The drive to the apartment is long and included calls to a catering company, security and the Taylor's who were at home. The last call he made was to Noah who agreed to be home by for the family dinner although he already knew what it was about and the truth.

Everyone is in the penthouse by six forty five, standing around waiting for something. Mia could go into labour at any moment so she is made to sit and stay that way by pretty much everyone in the room. Rachel rolls now and can get into the crawling position but does not crawl yet. She is a fast roller though.

"Everyone here has made their own assumptions, I can stand here and say all assumptions are wrong and they are really starting to piss me off. Anastasia and I are expecting a baby, to be correct we are expecting babies. We are expecting triplets in the winter, identical's and a single according to Erica because of the sacs of something. All assumptions stop now, and whoever started to plant the doubt in every head needs to step forward and face the consequences. I'm done, we're supposed to be family and clearly someone here does not feel that way," Christian announced.

Everyone is looking between Christian and myself, tears are breaching some eyes but Grace just looks stunned and guilty. Christian notices and quietly pulls her aside while we bring everyone else to the dining room to sit and wait for them to come back from his office. I get apologies from Kate, Mia, Luke and Elliot while all the kids seem oblivious to the issues we were all having.

Dinner is quiet, Christian is fuming while no one makes a move to try a conversation. Gail walks in with my new prescriptions, Christian takes them and hands them to me one at a time, watching me take them. I don't argue and I think he was expecting that.

"I thought prenatal vitamins were taken in the morning," Mia said.

"They're not prenatal's," Christian growled.

Everyone was gone by ten, before everyone left Christian announced that Grace and Carrick would be moving to Seattle to do the stuff he wants for at least six months, and that they would be leaving this weekend. I can't believe he has banished his parents to the other side of the country. He use to idolize them, they were his heroes.

Getting ready for bed he is silent, I think he may be guilty or have some regrets to sending his parents away but he can always bring him back and send someone else. I can't wait to go to bed because Hardy is being brought over in the morning. The excitement over that is the best feeling in the world. I can't wait to see what Noah and Maia think of him.

"Do the kids know about the dog?" I ask.

"Yes, we have been training him for two months and the first month the kids worked with the trainers so they know the rules with him and they are okay with him. Mouse is the one who picked him, Noah wanted to get a German Shepherd or Saint Bernard. I thought you would like the lab, plus he already was named Hardy so it seemed to fit perfectly with you," He smiled.

"Thank you," I blush.

He looks over at me and smirks, "Is Kitten horny?"

"Yes sir," I look down.

He pounces on me, I fall back on the bed but his body never hits mine. The smile he's wearing is reflecting in his eyes, he's really happy now. He kisses me deep, there is no battle for dominance in which he always wins. His hands roam my body and my core is dripping, he has barely done anything and I can feels my walls spasming as I am about to cum. FUCK!