APOV
I walked off with Amy, the dog trainer, and Hardy down the street to a small square with grass and benches. It was rather nice, although still in the busy city. Grace hates me and I don't know how much more I can take of it. Amy hands me a ball so I can play fetch with Hardy, I'm so in the moment that I don't see her walk up but I can feel her.
"If God himself told me you were going to go back to him and fall pregnant again I would have called him a liar," Carla sneers.
"Mom? Wa- what are you doing here?" I ask.
"Do you not want me here?" She snaps. "I am your mother, Anastasia."
"Sorry, ma'am. It's not what I meant, you just hate New York because of how busy it is."
"I miss you, we want you back with us."
"But I'm married now, I have a family and I'm pregnant. I can't leave mama, I have too much here."
"Do you care about me at all, Anastasia? What about your father? Your brother? I own you, I made you and I don't care about the legal slip of paper that says you are married to him. You. Are. Mine."
"Yes ma'am, I'm sorry. I never meant to anger you or show you any disrespect. I'll do as you say, no closet please."
I bow my head and she takes my hand to lead me away, I can hear some sort of commotion in the area around me but I don't look up to see. The sounds are too muddled anyway so I don't know what is real or in my head.
When Hardy nuzzles and licks my free hand I know and understand that this is wrong, I can't leave with her. Large, familiar arms wrap around my waist and am held in place by my husband. No clue how he got here, why he is here, or how he knew something was wrong. No matter how hard mom pulls on my arm I won't budge.
"No talking Kitten," Christian whispers, I nod.
"Come now Anastasia, don't resist because it won't do you any good. I'm not afraid to punish you at the hotel," Mom huffs.
"She's not going anywhere with you. Who the fuck are you?"
"I'm her mother and you're not her husband. We had her declared incompetent when she ran from you the last time. We're in charge of her and always will be."
"Ana is going nowhere with you, and if I see you within a mile of her ever again. No if I hear about you ever being in the same state as her again, I will kill you and your husband. She is much better then now," Christian growls. "Come Kitten, let's go spend time with our new nephews, fraternal twins."
When Christian turns me into his body and away from mom, so we can walk back comfortably I notice he is in black scrubs. Christian looks like a doctor and I can't help but giggle at the thought of Doctor Christian whilst we meander down the street.
I said no, and no is a bad word in our house. He put me in the closet a long time ago and my stomach hurts like daggers because I am so hungry. My mouth is as dry as Death Valley, and I can't help but wonder if it is day or night. I should never have said no, just lay down and take it. Always just lay down and take everything they have to give. I don't want it no more. No more. No more. No more. I hate the closet, it always means darkness, starvation and dehydration.
"Please sir, please let me out. I'll be a good girl, I will. I promise I'll be a good girl, I'll be your good girl," I shout so maybe someone will hear.
"Shut up you little worm, I only want silence coming from that closet even if it means you're dead or have passed out," Mom snarls.
"I'll be a girl girl, I can be a good girl. No Ana, no you're a bad girl. A very bad girl, only bad girls wind up in the closet. Only bad people deserve this life, not good people. I'm a bad person, a horrible person who deserves horrible things," I whisper to myself. "I'm so tired… no sleeping…sleeping is bad."
Hardy is licking my hand, whimpering as he nuzzles my thigh. I look at him then around at where I am, a hospital waiting area that I don't remember arriving in. I don't remember getting to the hospital. Shit, was I saying any of that out loud? Emily is standing by the door so I must have really been out of it.
"They're in the works of processing a restraining order I just filed against Carla, Jack and Stephan that prohibits them from leaving their state without filing a travel plan with their lawyers and our lawyers so they will not be able to be in the same state or country as you. You're fully safe and protected now," Christian says.
"I'm sorry Christian, how long was I out of it? Is Mia okay? You said nephews, right? Aren't they like a month early, are they okay? I'm so, so sorry for dazing out. I swear I didn't know that she was coming out here or anything. If I knew I swear I would have told you. I didn't mean to, I promise!"
"Ana, stop apologizing. It's okay," Emily scolds. "The medications are working but will take more time for the full effect."
"How did you know where I was? That I needed you?" I ask Christian.
"Hardy called me," He shrugged. I gaped at him, the dog? "He has a phone with four buttons, programmed with four numbers: 9-1-1, me, Emily and Taylor. He called me, I tracked his chip to get to you. Hardy is a brilliant dog."
That's really cool and creepy, do I have any freedom anymore? If I go Christmas shopping Christian will know where I go and by extension what I'm getting. He just ruined all of his own surprises, and to think that I even considered throwing that man any surprise parties in the future. That man… he'll be the death of me. I was going to say he will drive me mad but I am already there.
Emily leaves and we go to Mia's room, there are two neonatal bassinets by the far wall, Mia is awake and does not look like she just gave birth two hours prior. C-section or not, that girl has major healing abilities. Kate and Luke are bottle feeding the new members of the family, I wish it was January so we could be in this situation and that the babies are ours.
Emily keeps reminding us that I am at a very high risk of developing postpartum depression or psychosis, that maybe I was undiagnosed and that is what caused me to to run last time. Really what caused me to run last time was fear, fear and…
"Ana, we were hoping you would be the godparent to these two? Charlie Alexander Sawyer and Vito Bennett Sawyer," Mia asks.
"Why me? I thought…"
"You're family Ana. One of the most important people, if not the most important person in Christian's life. Christian is my person and by extension you are too. So will you? Please? Pretty please with a cherry and sprinkles?"
"Mia, the physical appearance of the please changes nothing," Christian smirks.
"Of course, I would be honoured Mia," I beam.
"Fantastic! Now Christian, I'm hungry and I don't want any of this hospital crap. Could you send someone for real food?" Mia is definitely feeling better.
Luke comes to me with one of the boys swaddled up in a green blanket that matches the baby's emerald green eyes. I carefully take the precious bundle and rock him in my arms until he is asleep, Charlie Alexander. I sit back in a chair, not letting the little boy go. He is only five pounds, barely. By next year I will have babies of my own.
Elliot and Kate took all the kids plus Jude back to their place for a terrace sleepover; however, with the amount of sugar that Elliot manages to provide behind Kate's back I doubt that there will be much sleep.
A nurse puts the babies in their separate incubators and I go out in the hallway to wait for Christian to say his goodbyes and set up security with Mia, Luke, Charlie and Vito. Amy left with Hardy a couple hours ago so tonight it will just be Christian and myself. Thank the Lord, I have been wanting to jump him all day.
Grace walks over from the main waiting area to where I am, she could go anywhere in the hospital and she comes to me. Her face is grim, unsettling and makes me want to run even more, the last thing I need.
"Can we talk?"
NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO.
"Of course, Grace," I try to smile
We walk into an empty room just down the hall, I sit on the bed with my head bowed to show respect to her and because of fear, more for fear.
"What are you plotting at?" Grace inquired.
"Nothing," I state.
"You left and came back after ten years. We gave you everything when you were with us. We accepted you into our home and families without knowing a thing about you and then you just run!"
"I couldn't help it!" I shout.
"Like hell, you could have stayed!"
"I couldn't. None of you understand what I've gone through or what I'm going through. I didn't understand back then, I was scared so I listened to them. I listened to the voices and shadows that knew all my fears, stuffed me full of doubts and scared the shit out of me. I was so scared, and not of Christian, the wedding or even my babies, but I was scared of myself. I kept listening to the voices more and more, and I was scared would hurt them or Christian physically so I ran. Be happy I did because three months later I was only listened to the voices and shadows, all the way to the point where I stabbed my step-brother and myself. I was committed for nine months, I'm better now and I am back now for good. I am here for my family," I rant and shout, taking a deep calming breath before continuing. "You hate me, I get it but I still love you and Carrick. I still look up to you. Hate me, I don't care because I hate me too, but stop torturing Christian. Stop hurting him because of me, just stop taking it out on everyone else because it is not just me who is suffering but your children and grandchildren as well."
I get up and bolt for the door for a dramatic exit but instead am confronted with a wall of muscle that is my husband, he stops me and holds onto me.
"Now you have to ambush her when I'm occupied elsewhere mother?" He growls.
"How much did you hear, Christian?" I whimper.
"Silence Kitten. Do I get an answer mother?"
"I needed answers Christian, she doesn't speak to me or any of us when you're around. It seemed like the only way," Grace defends.
"Because she's scared of you!" Christian thunders. "You haven't been kind, welcomed her in or do anything but criticize the girl!"
I curl into him and hold onto him, Christian is my lifeline and he just heard things that I haven't even talked to Emily about yet. I just wanted Grace to understand. Christian bellows out in Italian, I stay silent and Grace starts to cry. We're a mad house. I look a little past Christian and start to giggle, Taylor walked in and slowly backs out immediately as if we are wild animals about to pounce.
Christian pulls me through the hospital and to the vehicle Taylor has on stand-by. The forty-five minute drive back to the penthouse in rush hour is silent and awkward. I know he wants to ask questions and he is being nice by not asking them right now.
Gail has dinner ready and set out for us when we walk in, it still is a pleasant surprise for me when this occurs whereas it is normal and expected for Christian. The meal is some french meat dish, yummy beef plate with steamed vegetables that is fancy (all that in french because things sound nice and classy in french).
"Kitten, is it true what you told my mother? The voices and shadows?" He finally asked.
"Yes, I didn't want you to know. I thought you would look at me differently," I confess.
"All better now?"
"Getting there. I haven't had any visual or auditory hallucinations in four years. I had to leave for my piece of mind and your's and the children's safety."
"I think that I finally understand now, and I could never look at you differently. You keep showing that you're one of the strongest people that I know."
I squirm and blush at his words, the fact that his words can make me dripping wet and needy says a lot about the stage of pregnancy that I am in. Maybe I am a couple weeks further along then the doctors think, multiple babies and the size of my stomach and breasts.
"Kitten, I want you naked and waiting downstairs in the play room in one hour. Two french braids please," Christian smirks.
"Sounds great, Babe," I smile.
Author's Note: be prepared for a time jump when more then a few things change in the lives of our favourite couple. I hope y'all are enjoying the story and I am loving the comments. Private Message me in you have an questions. Reviews, keep them coming because I love them all. Thanks you guys. XOX -Gray