D is for Denial

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Alec learnt at a young age that he was not what his parents would call normal. However, he learnt quickly that he needed to hide it, pretend to be normal. He could not be anything else but normal. Alec grew up being in denial until he did not realise he was in denial anymore. He thought the way he was acting was normal. Magnus was the one that made Alec truly realise that he was not so perfect anymore, and Alec knew he was never the perfect person his parents thought he was.

When Alec was growing up, he was acting and never got to truly accept himself. To please his parents, Alec never got to truly live, he only survived. For once, he was going to live for himself and take a risk.

Alec is going to accept the part of him that he has spent his life pretending does not exist. He cannot deny it anymore. Although he still cannot truly act on it, he knows that one day he will. However, he has made one step in the right direction. Alec has decided he is going to accept Magnus' offer. He is going to go on the date.

Alec hid away in his room, putting off making the call. He truly did try to make the call, but he could not. He could not even send a simple text to Magnus. Alec had lost all his courage.

That is how Alec found himself outside his sister's room. Turns out, he was going to make two major steps in one day. He was going to ask his sister for advice on asking someone out.

Alec tried to keep himself calm; he could not let his sister think that there was something wrong. He would never be able to get some time alone if she did think that.

Slowly, he knocked on his sister's door. "Who is it?" His sister yelled from within the room.

"It's Alec," he yelled back uncomfortably, before the door was quickly opened and he was pulled inside, and the door was hastily closed.

"What's wrong? Is it Max? Or is it Jace? Are you okay?" A flurry of questions was sent his way. Alec was too busy trying to reassure her that nothing was wrong that he did not realise that she had no top on.

He tried to be as calming as possible, which was not very calming. "No, Jace and Max are fine. Nothing is wrong. I am fine."

That was the moment he realised that she was not wearing a top, and looked at the discarded top. "Iz, I think you are missing something." He indicated towards her shirt, which was still lying on her bed.

Izzy looked down and shrugged, before going over and putting her top on. "I didn't realise you were such a prude, Alec."

"I'm not a prude: I just do not need to see that much of my own sister," Alec said to try and defend himself: 'Try' being the key word.

Alec heard his sister say something all the lines of 'sure you're not.'

"It's not like I didn't have a bra on," Izzy called back as she shifted to the other side of her room, clearly looking for something. "Anyway, what did you come in here for?"

That was the moment that Alec remembered that he had come to Izzy's room for a reason. "I need help asking someone out."

Izzy swiftly turned around. At the same time, she knocked something off the table she was looking through. A smashing noise was heard as it fell to the floor and smashed. "Ah, shit."

Izzy moved out of the way of the broken object, which turned out to have been a mug that she had left on her desk. "I never thought I would see the day where my brother came to me for dating advice, or the day that he would go on a date in the first place."

"I have gone on dates," I weakly tried to defend myself: I haven't been on a date in years.

"Who is the lucky guy?" Izzy going straight to the serious questions and putting off helping him until she got all the details she wanted.

"His name is Magnus," I answered without fully processing what she had said. It took him a few seconds to properly process what she said. "Wait, who did you know it was a guy?"

"Oh please, you are far too obvious with your gay tendencies, Alec. I have seen you checking out different men many times: you should learn to be more subtle, Alec."

Alec found his cheeks turning a reddish colour. "I didn't realise I did that, and I did not think I would do it so obviously."

"Well, you did. Wait … did you say Magnus? Isn't he the warlock that was called the other week when I was injured?"

A slow blush spread across his cheeks, and he nodded. "That's the one," Alec admitted, although he is not sure that was such a smart idea considering it was Izzy.

Izzy frowned and appeared to be thinking about something, head tilted, before shaking her head. "Back to the point of Loverboy's date, what do you need help with?" Izzy took a seat on her bed, tucking her feet underneath herself.

"He has asked me out, and I said I needed to think about it-" He tried to explain but his sister cut him off.

"Why would you say you would think about it?" He heard a mumble of something that sounded like 'idiot' following the statement. "Leave my room now, and go call him!"

Alec was pushed out the door by his surprisingly forceful sister.

This was the moment Alec decided. He had the courage that he needed. He knew the answer he was looking for. Now, it was time to take the final step. It was time to agree to the date with Magnus.

It was late when Magnus finally received the call that he had been waiting for. He wouldn't admit it, but he was quite nervous. For once, he could not tell whether he was going to go on a date or be rejected. Rejection was a huge possibility – especially for the fact that his Shadowhunter was closeted … and a Shadowhunter. Dating a Downworlder, that could be the reason for rejection. Dating a male Downworlder, that could be an even bigger reason for rejection. For Alexander, it could be a fatal discovery if his parents found out.

The call was not expected.

By the time it came, Magnus had been close to giving up hope that his blue-eyed Shadowhunter would call. Magnus had picked the phone up casually, expecting it to be work related, and was going to 'politely' tell the person to fuck off.

When he had realised it was Alexander, Magnus jumped from the seat that he was sat on, forgetting his cat was on his lap. The cat fell to the floor, before stalking away. Magnus realised he would have to go apologise to Chairman Meow later.

Magnus accepted the call, knowing he would either get the rejection or a date. "Hello?"

Alexander's voice was a sweet, soothing sound that transmitted through the phone, making Magnus feel a warm feeling in his chest. Magnus' heart was a beast that only Alexander could tame. At the same time, his voice was also filled with nervousness, making it utterly adorable.

"Alexander, I am glad you finally decided to call. I thought you were avoiding me." Magnus said this with no malice; his little Shadowhunter was a hard closet case: he never expected to go on a date with him.

"I … erm … had a bit of thinking to do and I-"

"I understand and expected the rejection its fine-"

"-accept your offer!" The last bit Alexander raised his voice for.

"Wait, really?" Magnus voice had gone squeaky with surprise and shock. "That's great. How about we meet outside the usual café … say Saturday at 7pm? Wear something smart but casual, I am taking you out somewhere exquisite."

Magnus waited for Alexander's response to make sure he had heard. "Okay, but it doesn't have to be anywhere fancy; the café will be fine."

"Nonsense, darling, I am going to take you out on a proper first date."

Alexander was a stuttering mess on the other side. Magnus decided to end the call before Alexander decided to back out of the date.

"Anyway, I have to go, Blue eyes. Remember, Saturday at 7pm!"

He hung up before allowing Alexander the chance to respond.

Hearing Magnus hang up, Alec let out a sigh. He could hear his sister on the other side of the door squealing with delight.

Alec smiled, pleased that he had worked up the courage to accept the date with Magnus, even if he did feel like an idiot the entire conversation.

For once, Alec felt like he was finally not in denial for a part of him: he could accept himself truly now.