A/N: This chapter is long o.o But I hope that you like it!

Anyways, while writing this I was watching Across The Universe honestly I first thought it wasn't going to be that good, but I LOVE it! The songs are beautiful (I love the Beatles) and I've got to say Jude is rather hot .. just sayin' … haha! Anyways, if you haven't watched it you should! Its different and in my opinion great!

Chapter 20

Marlene McKinnon

Dear Marlene

I'm looking forward to see you at James' I mean Potter's in three days! I'm so excited to spend the Christmas with you all, even though its at Potters (I totally wrote James up there… that's so weird). Anyways, when are you heading over there? You're going earlier right?

Anyways, have you heard from Mary? I mean after she told us about the bulimia, its just so big.. but we should've guessed, shouldn't we? Anyways, I must hurry with mum to the shop, I'm gonna buy the presents! Can't wait to see you!

Love.

Lily Evans.

I let the letter fall back on the desk and lean back on my chair as I sigh, my eyes flutter to the half open suitcase on my bed. I'm supposed to be leaving for James' house later tonight, I talked my mum into letting me go earlier. I used to spend most of my holidays part time at the Potters anyway, and especially now I really want to go, for some reason I'm worried, worried about… about Sirius., even though he'll show up at the same time as the others, I just need to talk to James about him.

"Knock knock." My sisters voice greets me as she opens the door to my room. "Mum, Mike and Marietta went out but they'll be home before you leave, but they wanted us to make dinner, you know me, you and Matt. You up for that?"

I shrug "Sure, shall we make it now?"

Mel nods and I follow her out my room and down the stairs into the kitchen where my brother already is.

"I'm just going to make some spaghetti, will you make the salad?" he looks at me and I nod.

I fetch the things I need from the fridge and start on the salad.

"So you're leaving to stay at the Potters for the whole Christmas?" Matt asks and leans against the counter.

"Pretty much yeah." I say as I cut down the tomato "I mean, we're all gonna be there, me, Lily, Alice, Mary, even Emmeline, Remus, Peter, James and Sirius."

Matt raises his eyebrow and walks towards me. "Black will be there?"

My hand slips form the tomato and the knife lands rather close to my fingers. "Yes." I say after a while and drop the tomatoes into the bowl. "Why?"

"What is going on with you two?" Matt asks, trying to make it sound more casual than big-brothery.

I drop the knife on the table and turn to look at him, not amused. "That is none of your business."

Matt is also growing angry like I am, but Mel says silent, focusing on the spaghetti.

"The hell it isn't! You're my little sister, and if he's messing around with you-"

"Don't you alredy know?" I ask almost amused. "Judging by what you said at the match-"

"I didn't say it was true-"

"Well it is." I say harshly.

Matt grabs my hand. "He's trouble. And he's only going to hurt you-"

I yank my hand away form him. "Stop lecturing me."

"I don't want you to see him!"

"You don't have a say in what I do Matt!"

"Marlene why the fuck are you doing this to yourself?" he asks and suddenly I feel them, hot wet tears that trickle down my cheeks.

"Because I love him!" I scream out and then shut my mouth. I've never said this to anyone before. My eyes meet Matt's for a second and then he sighs.

"I know." He pulls me into a hug. "But does he love you back?"

"It doesn't matter." I tell him. "Love doesn't matter to us." I pull away from him and walk back to the table and pick the bowl up before walking toward the dinner table and putting in the middle "Salad is served." I say and then walk away, I'm not even hungry anymore, not even slightly.

- Hunting For Happiness -

My mom apparates me to the Potters.

"Tell Dorea I'm sorry I can't stop and talk, I'll owl her later." She says and kisses me on the cheek. "Dear, if you ever want to come home, just do." She adds before hugging me once again and then she apparates back home.

With a sigh and pull my suitcase towards the door of the humongous Potter manor. I knock once on the door and it immediately flies open.

"Marlene!" Dorea Potter greets me with a big smile and hugs me. "I haven't seen you for a while!"

Dorea is like my second mom, when I used to spend time at the Potters I didn't just do it to be with my friend James; His dad Charlus and his mum Dorea are amazing.

"Hey Dora!" I smile and hug her.

She grins as she points her wand at my suitcase and it disappears. She winks at me "It's in your bedroom."

"Thanks." I say and give her another smile.

"Common now sweetheart, the boys are waiting for you in the living room, they were watching old recordings that Charlus took of old Qudditch games."

I raise my eyebrows at the word "boys" but then realize she must be talking about James and her husband, Charlus.

I follow her into the living room, the Potters Manor is a beautiful big house, with so many rooms I don't even know the number.

The living room is also beautiful, most of the furniture are cream-colored and there is some… Peace over everything.

"Marlene!" James' voice greets me as he tackles to the floor in a hug when I enter the living room. James and I are always better friends outside of school than inside it, here he's like my brother.

"Marlene, great to see you!" Charlus Potter winks at me from his place on the couch.

"PapaPotts, do you mind if I take one butterbeer-" says a voice I did not expect coming from the kitchen as Sirius Black him self steps into the living room holding up two butterbeers.

"No, go ahead son." Charlus winks.

Sirius spots me and stares at me. "Hello Marlene." He says casually and throws one of the butterbeers at James.

He always calls me Marlene when Dorea and Charlus are around, I usually just call him Black – Dorea finds it rather amusing.

"Hey." I say still rather surprised and send James an evil glare which he decides to ignore.

"Well, Dorea and I have some business to attend, so we'll be home late tonight, I'm sure you guys will be fine though." Charlus says after some time and stands up from the couch, on his way out of the room he gives me a swift hug. "Good to have you here Marls."

I laugh at the nickname "thanks Charls."

James and Sirius both shake their heads over the nicknames.

"Bye parents!" Calls James after them as the front door closes. "Finally, peace!" he smirks and high fives Sirius.

He then stands up from the couch and ruffles in my hair. "Hungry?"

I raise my eyebrows "Its ten o clock, who's hungry at ten?"

"I am." Sirius sighs and follows James into the kitchen, I sigh and follow after them.

James picks out some chicken leftovers from the fridge on throws them on three plates. Gives me one plate, Sirius another and then put ones for himself.

I sigh before I dig in; Dorea is an amazing cook.

"So, the others are arriving… the day after tomorrow right?" I ask and stuff some chicken into my mouth.

"Yup." Says James.

"Why did you come early?" asks Sirius with his eyebrows raised.

I roll my eyes at him. "I could ask you the same thing."

He laughs but we both ignore the others questions.

"Mom made your usual room ready," James says with his mouth pretty much full.

I smile and nod. My usual room is up on the fifth floor (yes FIFTH floor, I'm not kidding) and only a room away from Sirius'…(Maybe that was intentional…)

"And tomorrow we were thinking about going and playing Quidditch with some people up on Apple's Hill. Want to come with?"

I nod into my food. "Sure, sounds good."

The rest of the evening passes by slowly and quietly and around midnight we all decide to head for bed. I curse my self for this, I shouldn't have arrived early, everything is too awkward.

- Hunting For Happiness -

I find my suitcase in the middle of the room. I push it to the side and grab my pajamas – a bright red t-shirt and black shorts.

I sit down on the bed and sigh. I don't know what to do. A part of me wants to slip into my slippers, out of the room and then into Sirius' room. I sigh again and fall back on the bed.

I need to ask him what he's doing here. I mean, I know he usually spends his summers with James, but Christmas? Wasn't he supposed to arrive with the others?

I shake my head and sit up in the bed again.

Suddenly the door creeps open and Sirius enters into the room, he closes the door and leans up against it, folding his arms over his black t-shirt.

I look up and at him, and then I stand up from the bed and walk closer to him.

"Why are you here?"

He shrugs. "Guess once."

"No I mean, why are you here… at James'? So early?"

He shrugs again. "Couldn't handle it there, at my parents." He grimaces.

I nod, and know I'm not supposed to push it further. Instead I walk closer to him.

"And what are you doing here… in my room?"

He smirks instead of answering me and lets roam up and down my body, until he puts his hands on my hips and pulls me closer to him before his lips crash down to mine.

I kiss him back and wrap my arms around his neck as I walk back, pulling him with me towards my bed.

He pushes me down and then hovers over me, but I don't want this to be this way, I push him off with all my force so he is on his back and I'm straddling him.

He laughs at my smirk.

Not being liked to laugh at I burry my hands in his hair and tug on the ends.

He hisses out as his fingers bury into my hips and pull me down.

My hands trail under his shirt but then I feel something, something weird on his back, the skin there is different from the soft that it usually is. My fingers freeze for a moment before I pull the shirt off to get a better look at what I had touched.

I force his body to sit up so I'm pretty much sitting on his lap and then I examine is back.

I gasp. A huge red scar runs up from his side and on his lower back.

I touch it again and this time he hisses and grabs my hand. "Don't."

He then moves his hands from mine to my shirt and pulls it off, but I can't stop my self from touching the scar again.

"That was done by my mother," he says it in such a casual way that it hurts me.

"What?" I choke out.

Sirius doesn't say anything more just starts kissing my neck, but I have had enough, I get off from on top of him and head for the door.

He grabs my hand and yanks me back. "Where do you think you're going?"

I spit with a disgusted voice "I'm going to find your mother and –"

But before I can finish he yanks me back even more, so I stumble back down on the bed.

"No you are not." he growls out and his arms push my shoulders back on the bed.

"Why not!"

"You are not touching my mother!" he growls.

I feel like he slapped me "Sirius! You can't be serious! Don't protect that bitch! She did this-"

"I am not protecting her!" He yells "I'm protecting you, I can't even imagine what could happen if you went to look for her –"

I stop struggling and fall silent.

"Promise me you wont ever see my mother." He growls out and his fingers bury into my shoulders.

"I promise." I whimper.

"Good," he seems to be calming down and sits up.

"You can't go back there," I sigh after a moment of silence and sit up next to him, avoiding looking him in the eyes.

"I know. And I'm not going to, I left Marlene. I ran away from home, I'm living here."

"What?" My eyes grow big. "When did this happen?"

"I've been living here all year, I just went home to get the rest of my stuff and she gave me… well this as a farewell, a reminder."

"And you didn't tell me?"

"What was there to tell," he shrugs "its not your business."

I want to scream at him, scream and tell him that it is. That he is my business. But I can't. I don't know what to say.

Hw sighs and stands up from my bed. "Goodnight."

And then he leaves out the door, leaving me alone left in the darkness.

- Hunting For Happiness -

The next days pass fast and silently. We play Quidditch one day with few students from school, its nothing special, I don't even care when I end up with Sirius in the team. We win of course.

Sirius and James tease each other the whole way home, but I stay silent.

Sirius finds his way into my bedroom later, not that I didn't expect that, I have to bite my lip from yelling at him and tell him to tell me everything. What happened to make him leave home, why and how his mother gave him that awful scar on his back. But I know not he doesn't want me to ask. So of course… I don't.

- Hunting For Happiness -

The next morning I sit in the Potters kitchen and watch Dorea cook.

"Those boys are never getting up are they?" she asks me with a sigh. "How do you want your eggs dear?"

I shrug, "Just somehow."

Dorea turns around from the fryingpan and looks at me with raised eyebrows. "You're awfully silent, that's not like you. What's up?"

I sighs, sometimes it's annoying how mother like Dorea is, especially when I want to tell her what's wrong but can't.

"Nothing." I say silently and force up a smile.

Dorea sighs and turns back towards the pan and puts my eggs on a plate.

She then walks over me and hands me the eggs. "Marlene, what is going on?"

"Nothing." I say again, "Really, Dora, its nothing –"

"Are you and Sirius together?"

Her question catches me of guard and I almost choke on my eggs.

"That's a yes?" Dorea smirks.

I scowl at her, sometimes its really obvious that Dorea's maiden name is Black, yes she used to be Dorea Black and went to Slytherin, so technically she's related to Sirius, but she has already cut all her ties with the Black family, but that doesn't change the fact that sometimes she is really evil.

"No. We are not together." I tell her, and its not like I'm lying; we aren't dating.

Dorea raises her eyebrows again. "Then what is going on?"

"Who says there is anything going on?"

Dorea laughs "Oh dear, it's obvious!"

My face falls "It is?"

She smirks "So there is something going on!"

"You said it was obvious!"

She smirks again. "That was my way to find out if it was true."

I groan out and push the plate away from me. "There isn't anything going on."

"Are you in love with him?"

I freeze and stand up. "No."

She opens her mouth to say something more but closes it quickly because into the kitchen enters James.

"Morning," He yawns out as he sits down.

"Morning dear. Where is Sirius?" Dorea asks and hands him his own plate of eggs.

"Bathroom."

"I'm gonna go and owl Mare." I say and give both of them a (rather fake) smile.

"Why? She's coming here in few hours."

"I have to ask her to bring something for me." I lie smoothly and then exit the kitchen.

- Hunting For Happiness -

The old Quidditch game finishes on the magical screen and James yawns.

He looks over the group.

We're all here now and it's Christmas Eve. It's weird to not be surrounded by family member, but its good. It's a nice kind of weird.

Dorea and Charlus are already gone, they were going to spend Christmas with some other family members, letting James and us have the house all by ourselves.

"Tomorrow morning it's present time." Grins James from his seat next to Alice and Remus on the couch.

We all decided before we left school that we'd give everyone gifts, but together; Us girls give each of us one present together and the boys together.

James stands up yawning "I'm gonna go to bed guys, you can stay up as long as you want. See you in the morning." He winks at us before exiting the room.

Remus and Alice both follow shortly after.

"Night guys," says Emmeline before following them.

Lily nudges the almost sleeping Mary that lies with her head on her shoulder.

She and Mary are the next ones to leave.

Leaving me, Peter and Sirius alone in the living room.

Pete is quick to realize he does not want to be the only one left in a room with us.

Sirius looks at me - when Peter is gone - where I sit curled up in an arm chair. I look up and meet his eyes.

He sighs and stands up, buries his hands in the pocket of his jeans and pulls up something wrapped in a red handkerchief.

He walks over to me, lets the handkerchief fall into my lap.

He stops for a moment before he presses his lips down on my head. "Happy Christmas." And then with a swift look at me he disappears out the doors.

I stare opened mouth and shocked after him.

Then my hands touch the handkerchief and pull it up, to reveal what was inside it.

A sterling silver necklace with blue crystal in the middle now lies in my hand.

It's maybe not much, it's obviously old, but it doesn't matter. He actually got me a Christmas gift. I wrap my hand around it and let my eyes close.

- Hunting For Happiness -

"Marlene! Marlene!" loud noises force me to open my eyes, and that's when I notice the grinning Lily standing over me. "We're gonna open the presents now… Did you sleep here all night?" she then adds and I look around and realize I'm still in the armchair in the Potters living room.

I slowly open my hand to notice that the necklace from Sirius is really there; it wasn't just a dream.

I close my hand again and nod to Lily. "Presents? Sounds good."

Mary is the first one to get to open her presents. She takes the two gifts (one from the girls, one from the boys) and opens the first one, from the boys.

She laughs as she pulls up a pink-ish scarf. "Thank you I love it." she grins and winks at me "I'm sure you picked this out didn't you Lene?"

I fake surprise "Of course I did not!"

Mary laughs as she opens the other present and squeals in delight when she finds the bag she had wanted to get. "Ohmygod! Thank you!" she says and stands up to give us all a hug.

Next up is Remus who smiles as he unwraps his first present. Shopping for Remus had been really hard, even though I knew he'd love everything he got. He thanks us with a grateful smile when he pulls up the Magical Quill Set we had bought for him. He then unwraps the present from the boys and immediately starts laughing as he pulls up seven books, every single one of them about werewolves.

The boys all grin and we girls just stare at them in confusion, not really getting what's so funny.

Lily is the next one to open her presents, she squeals in happiness as she pulls up the creamish-colored skirt we girls had picked out for her. "I love it!" she then starts on the boys' gift. Up she pulls a hat in the same color as the skirt, she also gives me a wink. "Thanks boys I'm sure you guys picked this one out all on your own!"

James calls out being next and rips of the paper of our gift to him, revealing brand new Quiddich gloves. "Thanks!" he smiles as he starts on the one from the boys. "Fucking yes!" he calls out as he realizes that the boys have bought him a brand new Quidditch ball set "I needed a new ones!"

We decide to let Emmeline go next. Shopping for her was even harder than shopping for Remus, but in the end we girls found a pretty black shirt or it's more like a dress. She gives us a thankful smile before opening the one from the boys and also finds a scarf, but her scarf is grey and with hearts on (Yes I picked it out too, the boys suck at shopping.).

Peter is up next and he starts with the gift from the boys and finds a big box filled with sweets in it. He grins happily and then opens the gift from us girls to find a tie.

"I noticed you didn't have a tie on at the ball." Says Mary with a smile as he thanks us.

Mary stands up squealing as she throws my gifts at me.

I open the first one (from the boys) with raised eyebrows. I immediately start laughing as I pull up a bright red sweater with the Gryffindor sign on it. "Thanks, I love it." I smile at them all. I then open the one from the girls and find beautiful heart earrings and black leather gloves. "Thanks! I needed gloves!" I smile at them as I try the gloves on that of course fit.

There are only two gifts left and Sirius opens the one from us girls slowly and grins "Thank you." He says and pulls up his new beater bat "Mine was starting to fall into piece." He laughs and then opens the gift from the boys. "Of course." He says and grins at James as he pulls up a black motorcycle helmet.

I raise my eyebrows "For what do you need this?"

James and Sirius look at each other with smirks on their faces. "For my motorcycle" Sirius then says.

"Your what?" I cry out and stand up.

"Motorcycle."

"Since when do you have a motorcycle?"

Sirius shrugs and I sit back down, my eyes narrowed. I hate this; I hate how I never know things anymore. James, Sirius and I used to be good friends but now I don't get to know anything, he didn't tell me he moved away from his parents and he did not tell me about his motorcycle.

Scowling I stand up again "I'm going to get some more sleep."

- Hunting For Happiness -

After few hours of sleep I drag my ass back down the stairs to find Lily and Alice in the kitchen making us dinner.

Emmeline sits on the couch in the living room painting Mary's toenails. I make a mental note to talk to Mary bout the whole Emmeline-and-all-that-thing.

I sigh and take a seat on one of the chairs in the kitchen.

"The boys went out to the garage to do something." Lily informs me. "It would be really nice if you'd feel up to going to get them, because dinner is ready."

I nod absentmindedly and stand up.

I know the way to the garage well, I've spent so many days here that I sometimes feel like this is my home.

I don't bother to knock, I just enter the garage and scowl when I see what James and Sirius are doing.

Remus and Peter sit up against a wall and are playing chess, but the other two are busy, Sirius is half under a big black motorcycle and James sits on a chair and is doing something to the steering wheel.

"Dinner is ready." I tell them shortly.

Sirius comes from under the bike and stands up; he walks towards me and grabs my arm. "Come and say hello to her,"

"To her?" I motion towards the bike. "That's a her?"

He grins "Yes, that's a her." He drags me towards the bike. "You can touch it." he winks at me and I do so and run my finger over it.

There is something about the bike, I've got to admit its beautiful and I see what he likes about it, it has some charm over it.

"I'll let you ride it sometime," he whispers into my ear and I can feel Goosebumps form all around my body.

"Dinner is ready." I say again once I've calmed down and got rid of the Goosebumps. I pull away from Siriu sand exit the garage with them following after.

- Hunting For Happiness -

Lily and Alice had made a delicious chicken for dinner and we're all in a rather good mood, it's easy to talk to each other now, it's like all the tension that was between us all at school has gone away.

"You know," I say "I was thinking… about New Years, we should spend it together."

There are loud cheers around the table in agreement.

"But where?" says James and takes a sip from his drink. "My mum and dad come home tomorrow…"

Now there are sighs but I smirk.

"Well, I could probably talk mom into letting us borrow the summer house… If we get some parents to apparate us there, it can't be any problem, and we'd have it all for ourselves." I shrug "But only if you're up for it."

"YES!" all of them seem to yell out.

"Great." I say and take a sip from my own glass. "This is going to be awesome." My eyes meet with Sirius' for a moment and I make a mental note to talk to him about the necklace, maybe its time for us to actually talk and figure out what we're doing. But just maybe.

A/N:: LUCY IN THE SKY WITH DIAMONDS!

Hehehe. Anyways, this chapter was rather long, wasn't it? Oh yes it was!

I wasn't really happy enough with it but I'm so tired and so sick so I didn't feel like working more on it, I just wanted to update today.. but I'm hoping next chapter will be better because…

Next up is New Years baby, and like you may have realized ''the gang'' is gonna spend New Years together, but this time at Marlene's summerhouse! Far, far, faaaar away from their parents, and I can guarantee some … Kissing! Hehehehehe :D Anyways, I hope you liked atleast some of the chapters.. and if you're interested to see the pictures of the birthday gifts then just visit my polyvore, there you can also see celebrities I've pictured for the characters (I'm not sure about Remus and Peter though).

My polyvore: http:/ www. polyvore. com /cgi/profile?id=1277542 (remove spaces)