Chapter 5: Xiapi Snowland, Part 2
Cao Cao: …hm! There's a forest just up ahead.
Zhang He: Ah, that's the same forest I just passed through my way here!
Jia Xu: You mean the way where you saw that so-called yeti?
Zhang He: Yes, that's right.
Zhang Liao: Aww shittt….you sure there's no other way?
Cao Cao: I suppose not. By the way, why are you scared, Zhang Liao? The 'Demon of Hefei' isn't supposed to be scared by things like these.
Zhang Liao: W-who said I'm scared?! I-it's just that I fear that it's gonna take a long time to get out of here! shudders
Jia Xu: If you're scared, maybe you can cover yourself in twigs and branches like me.
Zhang Liao: Hey, I'm scared, not retarded.
Jia Xu: Fear can sometimes make people retarded.
Cao Cao: Okay, okay, that's enough. We need not to fear anything. After all, with Zhang Liao's wolves and Zhang He's squirrel dance group, we'll be safe. Come, let's go.
Zhang Liao: S-sir, are you serious about this? I mean, hey, maybe I could use my wolves to check on another route. I-I mean, what if we'll get lost there?!
Jia Xu: Geez, when did you become such a pussy, anyway?
Zhang He: You mean like his Fairytale DLC?
Jia Xu: Not that kind of pussy!
Zhang Liao: I told you, I'm not scared! It's just…tch, you know what, screw it! Let's just go in already! hops in the forest
Cao Cao: What?! Hey, whoa, hold in on there! Well gee, seconds ago he didn't want to enter the forest, but now he entered it first? Hmpsh…
Jia Xu: So what? Saved us a hell lotta time. Let's go.
Cao Cao: Right.
Inside the forest
Cao Cao: OY! ZHANG LIAO! WHERE ARE YOU?!
Jia Xu: He didn't respond.
Cao Cao: Gah! Try again! ZHANG LIAO! WHERE ARE YOU?!
Zhang He: Now, now, my lord, you don't need to overexert yourself. Let me and my adorable critters help you!
Jia Xu: Looking for Zhang Liao using those goddamned squirrels? I would normally snark at how absurd this is, but since you're Zhang He I suppose it could actually work.
Zhang He: Haha! Just you watch the magnificent Zhang He to work out this miracle! makes a 'beautiful' pose
Cao Cao and Jia Xu: sweatdrop
Zhang He: Okay! takes a deep breath, then proceeds to make some weird gestures and movements to the squirrels
Cao Cao and Jia Xu: look at each other and shrug alternately
Squirrels: move up the trees to search
Jia Xu: …..hey. You sure that is REALLY gonna work?
Zhang He: Of course!
Cao Cao: Let's just believe in him, okay…he's the goddamn Zhang He.
Squirrels: come down from the tree and critters to Zhang He
Zhang He: Hm? Hmhm…oh! I see…okay, okay, uh huh…yep! Got it! You did quite a fine work, my little friends!
Cao Cao: So how about it?
Zhang He: The squirrels said that they spotted Zhang Liao in in the west side.
Jia Xu: West side?
Zhang He: Moreover, he seems to be chasing after something.
Cao Cao: Chasing after something? Ah shit, don't tell me…
Jia Xu: In that case we have to hurry!
Cao Cao: Right, right!
Several minutes later…
Cao Cao: Pant, pant, pant….AH! There he is! OY! ZHANG LIAO!
Zhang Liao: turns around Ah! Lord Cao Ca- suddenly gets dragged by the wolves WAAAAAHHHH!
Cao Cao: What?! Zhang Liao, wait! runs after Zhang Liao
Later
Cao Cao: Pant, pant, pant….Zhang….LIAO!
Zhang Liao: Oh, Lord Cao Cao! You know, I'm sorry for-
Cao Cao: Pant…what….was…pant…THAT anyway?!
Zhang Liao: I'm sorry! Look, when I entered this forest, suddenly my wolves smelled something, and so they tried to run after it, trying to drag me along! And do you think I can fight against this many wolves?!
Cao Cao: Oh….then, have the found what they were smelling?
Zhang Liao: Not exactly. They stopped here, meaning that they thought the smell was coming from here. Which means we have to wait what will suddenly pop out of here…
Cao Cao: shudders
Wolves: Hrm! Arf! Arf! Grr…
Zhang Liao: Ah! What is it? You found something?
Jia Xu: Hmm…I think they're looking that way. points at bushes
Cao Cao: That way? Hmm….
Wolves: Grrr….bark! Bark! BARK!
Zhang He: I wonder what could be hiding from that…
Cao Cao: I'll look. goes inside the bushes Hmmm…..oy! I know you're here! Show yourself! Or I'll look for you personally, and you WILL be in the world of pain! hears something moving inside the bushes WAH! Huff…okay, NOW you're starting to irritate me! Go out and let us finish this like a man!
Not long after, something bumped onto Cao Cao. When the latter looked down to find out…
Yue Jin: ….oh? Hey, Lord Cao Cao!
Cao Cao: ….WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Jia Xu, Zhang Liao, and Zhang He: WHOA!
Zhang Liao: L…lord Cao Cao? Hey, you okay there?
Cao Cao: I'm okay! It's just, it's just that…
Yue Jin: Oh, hey guys! It's so great to meet you again!
Zhang Liao: Yue Jin?! What…what were you doing in those bushes?
Yue Jin: Oh, right. I suppose I should tell you what happened…
Flashback, from Yue Jin's POV
Yue Jin: erm…gah…what was that….GLKH! Where…where am I?! I'm in the middle of a forest! Oh god…wait…where are the others?! GAH! Hey guys! Hello?! WHERE ARE YOU?! Ah, shit! I really shouldn't have shouted like that in the middle of a forest! Wild animals might come and attack me…hrmf…oh, the sign! Hmm….oh, I see! So we're in Xiapi now…weird…I never remembered Xiapi having a large forest like this. Oh well. Better go looking for the others.
Several minutes later….
Yue Jin: Pant, pant…walking for so long like this is so tiring! Better sit down for a while….oh fuck, now I'm hungry as well. There must be some food around here…hmm…acorn? Not bad, perhaps. Aaa-
"GRAAAAAAWWWWWRRRRRRRRR!"
Yue Jin: Wha- SHIT! The….the hell was that sound?! ….my goodness. shudder
Suddenly, a squirrel hopped and stole Yue Jin's acorn.
Yue Jin: What the- Hey! That's MY food! Give it back! chases the squirrel
Back to present…
Yue Jin: …and I kept chasing that squirrel up to this bush, where I finally caught that little, critting bastard! Haha! eats the acorn
Everyone: sweatdrop
Zhang Liao: …wait! You said that you heard a monster-like scream from far away?
Yue Jin: Yeah. Why?
Zhang Liao: Oh god….maybe it's the same scream I also heard!
Jia Xu: Which means that some monster definitely lives here, eh…this is such a crappy situation we have to deal with.
Cao Cao: It's alright. As long as we stand together, there's nothing we cannot overcome!
Zhang Liao: My lord, isn't that the stuff we commonly hear from Wu? We are Wei, not Wu.
Cao Cao: Ah, it's alright. At least it sounds cool. Haha!
Everyone: sweatdrop
Cao Cao: Well! Let's not waste any more time. Off we go!
Everyone: YO!
Several minutes later
Wolves: Sniff, sniff, sniff….grrr…..BARK! BARK!
Zhang Liao: Ah! What is it?
Wolves: BARK! BARK! Grrr…
Jia Xu: Seems like something's approaching us.
Zhang He: Aahh! Please, not the monsters! Or yetis!
Cao Cao: Calm down! And haven't I told you that there are no yetis here?!
Yue Jin: Yetis? YETIS?! AAAAHHH! NOT THE YETIS!
Cao Cao: THERE ARE NO YETIS HERE, DUMB FUCK!
Yue Jin: AAAAHHHHH!
Cao Cao: AND KEEP YOUR VOICE DOWN! YOU WANT THOSE MONSTERS TO COME AT US?!
Jia Xu: Uh, sir-
Cao Cao: YOU TOO! KEEP QUIET!
Jia Xu: makes a 'really?' face
Zhang He: Hmm….my lord, is it just me or that it's suddenly dark?
Cao Cao: Really? …gee, you're right!
Jia Xu: And it's gotten even colder as well! Achoo!
Cao Cao: Hmm…I wonder why…
Jia Xu: Brrr…well, no matter what the reason, this kind of situation never ends well. Sigh…
Cao Cao: Oh really?
?: stands behind the five Grrrr….
Everyone: widens eyes
Zhang He: Oh god…
Cao Cao: Okay…you guys ready for this?
Everyone: Aye. turns around to see a massive ice giant behind them
Ice giant: GRRRRROOOOOOWWWWWWRRRRRRRR!
Everyone: KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Cao Cao: Everybody, RUUUUNNNNNN!
Everyone: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Ice giant: GRRROOOOOOAAARRRRR! attempts to strike the five
Yue Jin: WAH! Whew, that was close! Hm? Hey guys, WAIT FOR MEEEEEEE!
After several minutes of running away…
Cao Cao: Huff, huff, huff, pant, pant…
Jia Xu: GAH! Seriously…bears, wolves, squirrels, and now THIS!
Zhang Liao: Just try to run as fast as possible!
Cao Cao: Huff, huff, huff….trips down AAAHH!
Zhang Liao: AH! My lord!
Cao Cao: Pant, pant, pant…shit! It's getting closer!
Ice giant: Grrr…
Zhang He: AAAAHHHHH!
Jia Xu: Would you just shut the fuck up?!
Zhang He: But it's getting closer!
Jia Xu: I KNOW IT'S GETTING CLOSER! You can be a pussy, BUT NO NEED TO STATE THE OBVIOUS!
Cao Cao: Pant, pant….
Ice giant: Grrr….suddenly gets struck in the back
Everyone: Huh?!
It turned out that another ice giant was the one who struck the first ice giant.
Yue Jin: What the…another ice giant?!
Jia Xu: But why is he attacking his own kind? It doesn't make any sense…
Cao Cao: Eh, at least we can sit down from all that running and watch the show.
Zhang Liao: But Lord Cao Cao, we have to go away from here! Not watching these two ice giants brawling!
Cao Cao: To hell with that! You heard it yourself that I'm tired as fuck! So let me have my goddamn rest and entertainment!
Zhang Liao: What the…huff, fine…
After several minutes of brawling, the second ice giant finally defeated the first.
Cao Cao: WOO-HOO! YAAYYYYY! Magnificent!
Everyone: Phew…
Cao Cao: Well! It looks like we've gotten ourselves a new friend!
Ice giant 2: turns around and walks to the five Grrr…..
Cao Cao: …errr….
Zhang Liao: ….or maybe not.
Jia Xu: Now, how it goes again? Oh right, "stepping out of a lion's nest to an alligator's den", or something like that. Don't quite remember the details.
Cao Cao: Gulp…
Ice giant 2: prepares to strike GRRRRAAAAWWWRRRR!
Everyone: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!
Ice giant 2: GRRAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRR- GRWARGH! suddenly stops
Everyone: Huh?
Jia Xu: Hey, what happened?
Zhang Liao: He just suddenly stopped like that.
Cao Cao: Yeah. Hmm…oh! Look at that...it's on a leash! It's preventing him from advancing any further!
Yue Jin: A leash? But how can someone put him on a leash?! And WHY would they do it anyway?!
?: Okay, now that you've saved them, you can't attack them. That's the rules.
After that, someone stepped in from behind, holding the leash restricting the ice giant. It was Yu Jin.
Yu Jin: Lord Cao Cao! I'm glad to see you here, and the others. It seems that all of you are safe, as well.
Everyone: jawdrop
Cao Cao: Y…y…Yu…Jin?
Zhang Liao: What….I don't….ah….
Jia Xu: ….how the hell can you…..
Yu Jin: Ah? Is there something wrong?
Cao Cao: OF COURSE THERE IS! How…HOW THE HELL CAN YOU EVEN GET THAT ICE GIANT TO OBEY YOU?!
Yu Jin: Ah, simple. I just put this leash around it and-
Cao Cao: That's not my fucking point! One of them tried to KILL us earlier! How can you even get that thing on a leash at the first place?!
Jia Xu: Good lord…even a frickin' ice giant is scared of Yu Jin…
Yue Jin: shudders
Yu Jin: Hm, that's right. Of course all of you must be surprised upon seeing me with my new ally (Jia Xu: whispers in a background Ally? It's more like your slave, instead…), so let me unfold my tale…
Flashback, from Yu Jin's POV
Yu Jin Ermh….hm! This place…what is this place? Everything's snowy…and after that attack on Yingchuan…hrmh….oh, the sign! Let's see….ahhh, I see. So this place is Xiapi, the place where we defeated Lu Bu…okay then, better get going.
Several minutes later….
Yu Jin: …..suddenly hears a growl in the distance AH! Who's there?! …whoever you are, come out and get me if you dare!
Ice giant: GROOOOAAARRRRR!
Yu Jin: Hm? Oh, so it was YOU! Come!
Ice giant: GROOOAAAARRRR! attempts to strike Yu Jin
Yu Jin: Whoop! Miss! Now! Take this! HYAAAAHHH! jumps and punches the ice giant's head
Ice giant: Graaarrr!
Yu Jin: And this! And this! This! THIS! HYAH!
Ice giant: Graarr! Growwrr….falls down
Yu Jin: And now…FOR THE FINISHING! HYAAAAAHHHHH!
Ice giant: GRAAAAAAWWWWWRRRRRRRRR!
Yu Jin: Huff….that was fast. But anyway, you look like you have some potential, so know what, I'm keeping you around to help me later.
Ice giant: growls
Yu Jin: bitchslaps the ice giant
Ice giant: Graaaarrr!
Yu Jin: I told you, YOU ARE BE UNDER MY COMMAND NOW. If you disobey, I'll give you punishment twice as worse than this. YOU UNDERSTAND?
Ice giant: growls weakly
Yu Jin: puts the leash around the ice giant Good. Now let's go.
Ice giant: Graarr.
Back to present…
Yu Jin: ….and after that I just happened to hear a scream coming from this forest, so I hurried to see where it came from, and there I found you guys.
Everyone: sweatdrop
Cao Cao: Err….okay…well, this ice giant is certainly a big help to us-
Jia Xu: After gaining a pack of wolves and a freaking squirrel dance group…
Cao Cao: Shut up! Okay, in that case, we have to hurry and meet the remaining three: Guo Jia, Xun Yu, and Xu Shu!
Zhang Liao: Ah yes, aren't those three the ones that weren't allowed to enter Yingchuan alongside us in the second challenge? And since they weren't transported here using that stone, they may be not here.
Cao Cao: Regardless, we have to look for them! After all, the sign did say 'you and the eight others', meaning that they must have also read the sign! Come on, let's go!
Everyone: YO!
To Be Continued….
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