Somewhere in the past hour, the rain had stopped. But thick, dark clouds still hung over Chicago, painting the city in somber shades of gray. Alicia's heart was clouded too. Had she really thought only a couple of hours ago that she was on her way to true happiness? Ha. She should have known better.
She must have tried calling John at least a dozen times, but kept getting the robot voice. So she'd put her phone down about thirty minutes ago. Now she was just staring blankly at her computer screen where a live video news feed was playing, unaware of the worried looks Diane threw her way from the other side of the hallway every so often.
Not even a voicemail this time. Will had at least left her a voicemail.
As soon as that thought surfaced, she forcefully pushed it from her mind again. Until she had tangible evidence, she refused to believe John was dead. That's why she was watching the live stream, waiting for any bit of news on the accident. She focused on the screen again, where footage shot by a traffic helicopter of the chaos on the I-65 was currently being shown. Alicia balled her hands into fists, her fingernails biting into the palms of her hands, and forced herself to keep watching. A truck lay on its side like a giant slain monster, blocking the lane it had been driving in. On the shoulder of the road she could see the scattered remnants of what had indeed been a motorbike. One of the reporters in the chopper had confirmed that ten minutes ago, adding the comment that he couldn't see how anyone could have survived that.
Alicia tried to hold on to the tiny sliver of hope that it may be a motorbike, but it didn't necessarily have to be John's motorbike. The live stream had shown more than one motorbike quickly sneaking by the traffic that was slowly making its way past the accident site. Maybe John had been on one of those, and she just didn't know it yet… But holding on to that hope was getting harder with every minute that crept by.
She hadn't even told him she loved him. Why hadn't she just told him?
There really was no good in goodbye, just like she'd feared Sunday night after John's phone call. The memory of that phone call led to the memory of their call from this morning, and she had to fight back the tears that threatened. Just get back here soon, her own voice whispered in the back of her mind. What if John had been speeding in an effort to make that happen?
"…The motorcyclist was airlifted to Chicago Mercy Hospital, but chances are slim to none that he will make it there alive, an on-scene paramedic told our reporter at the site of the accident. The police are currently working to clear the road…"
Alicia's hand shot to her phone before her mind had even fully registered the news anchor's words. The only word that mattered, was alive. Heart pounding, she quickly looked up the hospital's number and dialed.
"Chicago Mercy Hospital, how may I help you?" A pleasant woman's voice said after Alicia had made her way through the electronic menu.
"I…" She cleared her throat, still trying to hold back the tears. "I need information on the motorcyclist that was brought in earlier. From the I-65?"
Tapping sounds came through the phone as the woman on the other end checked her computer. "Can I have your name, ma'am?" she asked then.
"Florrick. Alicia Florrick." Alicia felt only slightly guilty about emphasizing her married name in hopes that it would carry enough weight to get her through the red tape of any privacy guidelines the hospital had in place. It didn't. The brief hesitation after she'd said her name told her the woman had recognized the name, but she still told Alicia that she could only give information about the victim to his family. "Can you at least tell me if he's still alive? Please?" she begged the woman.
The woman hesitated again, before sighing. "He is," she said eventually, and Alicia closed her eyes. "For now," the woman added then.
Alicia thanked her and hung up. Then she grabbed her coat and hurried for the elevator. Diane stood up behind her desk, watching her go, but Alicia didn't even glance her way. She couldn't care less about the world around her. The only thing that mattered to her now was that she got to the hospital before it was too late to say goodbye.
The elevator doors opened on the ground floor to reveal Finn blocking her path. He smiled when he saw her and started to greet her, but she pushed right past him and into the lobby. "Hey, what's the rush?" He called out, but Alicia didn't hear it.
She had frozen mid-step as the world started spinning around her for the second time that morning. Her mouth opened, but no sound came out. The tears she had been fighting back ever since Cary had told her about the accident finally escaped and started rolling down her cheeks. She desperately wanted to raise a hand and wipe them away, but she was still frozen.
All she could do was stare at the leather-clad man who had just entered the lobby from outside, through the glass doors opposite the elevator.
He took a couple of steps in her direction before he seemed to notice there was something wrong with her and stopped to look at her. "Alicia? Are you alright?"
It was the sound of his alarmed voice that finally broke through her paralysis. "J-John?" she whispered on a sob, afraid to believe what her eyes and ears were telling her.
"Hey. Hey. What's wrong, honey?" He started to close the remaining feet of distance between them, but before he could, she launched herself into his arms.
Part of her still expected to find nothing but thin air, but her body crashed into his and then she was surrounded by his arms and his warmth and the smell of wet leather and she finally allowed herself to believe that he was here, really here, holding her tight as she buried her face against his chest and sobbed her heart out.
§§§
John was barely able to keep his balance when Alicia flung herself at him and he caught her. But he managed to stay on his feet as she clung to him like she was drowning in a flood and he was a lifesaving tree. But if she was drowning, it seemed to be in a flood of tears that frightened him to no end. Was one of her children hurt? Had she, or a loved one, been diagnosed with a life threatening disease? He held her tight and kissed her hair and rubbed her back as he went through every possible scenario in his mind.
He had no idea how long they stood there like that, but at one point he looked up and saw Finn Polmar standing agape by the elevator, his eyes wide. John tensed as a new scenario suddenly hit him. What if that guy had hurt her somehow, because he couldn't take rejection or something? Sure, the prick looked benign enough in his tailored mud-brown suit and impeccably knotted tie, but who knew what went on behind that slick pretty boy face of his?
His thoughts must have shown on his face, because Polmar clapped his mouth shut and swallowed hard. Then he shrugged and shook his head, as if to say he didn't know what was going on either. John kept staring, trying to discern if the lawyer's confusion was genuine or not, but then the elevator door opened and Polmar hastily stepped inside, pressing the button to close the door behind him as he went. Because he didn't want to let go of Alicia, John didn't attempt to follow him. She was still sobbing into his jacket, but the sobs were becoming a little less frequent. He resumed rubbing her back and kissing her hair until he felt her release a shuddering sigh and her body relaxed against his.
"I thought you were dead," she whispered, raising her head to meet his gaze. "I heard about the accident and you didn't answer your phone and I called you over and over and…" Fresh tears pooled in her eyes and she clenched her eyes shut. "And I thought you were dead," she repeated.
Accident? His mind went back to the touch-and-go moment on the Interstate when he'd narrowly escaped getting hit by that damn truck. He still wasn't completely sure how he'd managed to keep his bike upright and made it to the exit ramp unscathed, but she couldn't be talking about that, because she hadn't been there. "What accident?" He asked.
"On the I-65. A motorbike got hit by a truck and…" She seemed to choke up, then swallowed hard and took a deep breath. "It wasn't you," she murmured, a hint of astonishment in her voice that would have made him think she was questioning his riding skills if she hadn't been staring at him with such wonder in her eyes. "It wasn't you." This time she said it like she was confirming it to herself.
"No, it wasn't me," he assured her, now thinking about the very last part of his trip, when he'd made his way through a traffic jam just outside the city limits that must have been the result of the accident she was talking about. He'd seen the truck, of course. It had been hard to overlook, the way it was lying there on its side and partly blocking the road. But he'd been so focused on making it through the traffic jam safely, his own brush with death still fresh in his mind even after two cups of fresh coffee, that he'd completely missed the motorbike.
No, it hadn't been him, but it easily could have been, he realized with dawning horror. He'd been a monumental ass, riding his bike in weather conditions like that. He should have left the moving of the bike to the moving company and taken a plane, or waited for the storm to pass. He could have gotten himself killed.
Anger at his own stupidity quickly arose within him, and he tried to hide it by crushing his mouth to Alicia's in an anguished kiss. She responded in kind, kissing him back with double the fervor she'd shown that first night, in the hallway outside her apartment, molding her body to his as he tightened his hold on her because he needed to be as close to her as he could get.
Alicia was the one to break the kiss, her breathing gradually slowing as she rested her forehead against his and closed her eyes. "Please don't scare me like that ever again," she said quietly. Then she raised her head and looked at him with wide, vulnerable eyes. She took a deep breath and continued, "I love you so much, John. I can't… I can't lose you, too."
John's heart filled with warmth as he let her words, the words he had wanted to hear from her so badly, but had never really expected her to say, wash over him.
§§§
Alicia watched a bright smile spread across John's face as he took in her words. It made her feel like the sun was finally piercing through the clouds in her heart. She leaned in and pressed her lips to his again, pouring all the love she felt into the kiss. Somewhere in the back of her mind she was amazed at how easy it was for her to finally to let go of that part of her that she'd always felt the need to hold back and how good it felt to just be in the moment, here, with the man she loved...
"Geez. Why don't you two get a room?"
They broke apart, startled by the grumpy voice coming from the glass doors behind them. Alicia looked back and right into Cary's face. His jaw slowly dropped as he looked back at her and seemed to process what he saw.
"Oh," he said, understanding dawning in his eyes as he looked at John in his leather clothing. "That your bike parked outside?"
"Yeah…" John said, confusion evident in his voice.
"Nice ride." Cary paused, his eyes filling with compassion as he looked at Alicia "Good to see it in one piece."
Alicia smiled self-consciously as John frowned and Cary smiled softly at her.
"Well, I'm late for work. Stupid traffic. By all means, carry on," Cary said, and as he stepped past them on his way to the elevator, Alicia felt his hand briefly squeeze her shoulder. The elevator doors opened and he stepped inside, turning around to face them. Just before the doors closed, he grinned broadly. "I guess this means we save that champaign for tomorrow?" he asked.
"I guess so," Alicia said, grinning back.
"Champaign?" John asked at the same time.
"Take me home and I'll tell you all about that," Alicia promised. Then she burst into laughter when he scooped her up in his arms and carried her outside, into the weak sunlight that had begun penetrating the clouds.
A/N: You didn't really think I would kill John off, and deny Alicia her happy ending yet again, did you? Anyway, I couldn't find it in my heart to leave you hanging for too long. Next update may take bit longer though. I have work to do, you know... I have decided to add an extra chapter though, so that means there are two more to go now. Hope you don't mind ;)
Special thanks to my 200th reviewer :) But of course, I really and truly appreciate all reviews. Thank you for having faith in me, this couple and this story. Let me know what you think of this chapter!
Also, if you skipped to the end of this chapter instead of reading it from the top... Shame on you. But I totally understand.