A/N: Couldn't leave you in suspense all weekend. Again thanks for the reviews, even those of you who were upset with the sudden turn of events that I set before you. But have faith, I could never write an unhappy ending for our favorite duo. I hope you'll all stick with me on this. Again thanks to A-Lady-To-Me and Terriejane. Please review and enjoy!

Part VIII

John stared up at the door waiting for some sign that this was a horrible dream or for someone to tell him that Anna and their baby would pull through this. But the look on Dr. Clarkson's face told him what he already knew. Helen had appeared from out of nowhere standing behind him. John looked at her and back to the doctor seeking some level of comfort or hope. "Well? How is she, doctor?"

The doctor dabbed at his eyes for a moment, and for a second John feared the worst. He let out a heavy sigh and steadied himself on the post at the base of the stairs. John was suddenly reminded of Lady Sybil's passing after childbirth while he was in prison. He couldn't bare it. Not his Anna. The doctor finally composed himself and began to speak, "Mrs. Bates is recovering. She lost a lot of blood..."

John let out a breath he had not even realized he'd been holding as he silently gave thanks to God for that. "And the baby?" John asked even though he already had an inkling of the fate of their child.

"The baby didn't make it. Mrs. Bates went into premature labor. I gave her something to help her sleep and minimize the pain; she is resting now and is not cognizant of what happened. She's battling a fever and we are keeping an eye on her for infections; but it could just be her body trying to cope with the trauma." He watched Mr. Bates face register in understanding; his heart ached for the man. Helen had let out an audible gasp upon receiving the news.

The doctor said some other things about making arrangements for the burial but it had washed over him like a wave. How would he deliver the news to her? Why had fate been so cruel? They had finally been free to love and started their family and this is what they were left with. John's ears perked up when he heard the doctor say his wife's name, "Anna, will need to be monitored carefully. Sometimes the pain from the loss of the child far exceeds the pain from the delivery. If it is at all possible I wouldn't leave her alone for the next few days."

"Of course not doctor," John answered with a stiff lip.

"I will be back to check on her in the morning, if you want we can break the news to her then. If you notice any changes or think she needs medical attention do not hesitate to fetch me," the doctor ordered.

The doctor closed up his medical bag and John watched as the nurse came downstairs with a pile of blood stained rags. John winced as she quietly made her way past him. "Can I see my wife now?" John asked in a soft voice that was filled with emotion.

"Yes, but try not to disturb her. She's been through a lot today and she needs her rest. She'll have to stay in bed for the remainder of the week," Dr. Clarkson says.

He realized it probably seemed an odd thing to ask, given that she may not want to try for another child after this, but the need to ask was overwhelming. "Will she be able to have children again?" John asked.

"I can't say for certain without knowing the cause. Sometimes these things just happen for reasons we cannot understand and the woman goes on to have successful pregnancies afterwards and some...well," the silence fell around them and left him temporarily paralyzed with grief. "You both can try again in a few months," the doctor tried to sound hopeful.

John nodded his head in understanding. Right before the doctor headed out the door John had to ask one last thing, "What was it? I mean if you know that is."

"I beg your pardon?" Anna's mother interjected.

"Anna wanted a little boy so badly. I know she would want to know if she were coherent right now," John explained.

The doctor shook his head, he knew all too well from past experience that knowing didn't make it any easier on the mother or the father. But he had an obligation to answer Mr. Bates question. "It was a boy," Dr. Clarkson answered regretfully.

Dr. Clarkson had left and it was just he and his mother-in-law standing in the sitting room now. John ran his hand through his hair for what seemed like the millionth time, walking a few steps at a time, stopping with his hands on his hips but stopping before any words were spoken. Until finally he did. John tried his hardest to control his temper and keep things civil for Anna's sake. "Before I head upstairs and face my wife and give her the news that I know will absolutely devastate her, I must know. What happened?"

She sat there unmoving as if she hadn't heard a word he said. Helen looked at him with confusion, "You saw what I saw. You know what I know."

John shook his head in disagreement and let out a huff. He certainly didn't want to imply that she was at fault, but after seeing the way Anna reacted to her mother he had to wonder how much Mrs. Smith really knew. "Something must have happened. Anna was fine before you arrived."

She shot him an indignant look, her eyes almost as piercing as Anna's, "Are you saying I did this to Anna?"

"No, not at all. But you must know something more. Did she complain of discomfort? What was she doing when this happened? Where were you when it happened?"

"Where do you think I was?" she argued. She couldn't believe that she was being treated like a criminal by a man who had been convicted as one twice before.

"I just know that by the time we got here she looked like she had been bleeding for quite some time. Why weren't we called upon sooner?"

Helen realized he would not let this go. He was like a dog with a bone. "We were talking and Anna made light of some pain in her back...said she was tired. She went upstairs to lie down. I went to check on her when I realized she'd been sleeping for over an hour and found her void of color and bleeding."

"That's all?"

"That's it."

"You're sure," he came back at her again.

"How many times do I have to repeat it?"

Something wasn't adding up. Anna had been so stressed and upset these past few days and he knew he was partially at fault for that. His wife had hated that her mother had not grown to accept him. John was about to ask her something else when Mrs. Hughes called for him. "Mr. Bates, Anna is asking for you," she said.

"I'm coming," he said.

John entered their room, but something about it didn't feel right. It felt foreign, tainted somehow. Their cottage had been the one place that had gone untouched by the curse that seemed to plague him, and now even that was no longer sacred. It was the place where their love had bloomed, where life had been created and now it was where life had been taken. As he walked over towards the bed he saw the picture on Anna's nightstand from their wedding day. Another happy moment that had been snatched from them just as quickly as it had come. Was this to be their fate then? Living day in and day out dusting themselves off and picking themselves up, waiting for some sort of relief, only to be dragged down again. Had he brought this on them for all his past mistakes?

She had looked so happy that day. They both did. Even with a murder accusation hanging over his head, she had been his light and he was able to have faith so long as she had faith. Now what were they to do? This would surely break her mind, body, and soul. The doctor could give her all the medicine in the world to help ease the pain, but what do you give someone that has suffered a broken heart?

Mrs. Hughes walked over to him and placed a hand on his shoulder, "I changed the sheets and set some clean towels down. The doctor said she might still have some bleeding."

John nodded in understanding and when his eyes met the housekeeper's he saw fresh tears in her eyes. She bit down on her lower lip as she looked over at the girl that may as well have been her own daughter. "I'm so sorry for your loss," she said in a voice just above a whisper. "Would you like me to help you change her into a fresh nightgown?," she asked.

"No, I'll take it from here. Thank you for your help Mrs. Hughes," he said with as warm of a smile as he could manage.

"There's no thanks necessary. If you need any help tomorrow you be sure to send someone to the house for me. I'll relay the news to Lord Grantham and spare you the trouble." John nodded with his lips pursed together as he fought back tears.

John sat down as gently as he could on the bed so as not to disturb Anna, she wavered in her sleep but her eyes remained shut. He wanted to hold her hand, but worried that he would somehow break her. What a difference a few hours had made? One minute she was healthy, strong, and thriving. Now she looked weak, fragile, and subdued. He held up her limp hand, looking impossibly small within his own and pressed kiss after kiss into her palm as tears spilled down his cheek. He tried to remind himself to be grateful. "She is alive. It could have been worse. I could have lost them both." But somehow that brought no comfort to him. The one thing Anna had wanted more than anything he could not give her, it could not be fixed and it could not be replaced. Remembering what the doctor had said about the loss of the child being greater than the physical pain, he wondered if he would lose Anna in the process. "Oh my darling, I'm so sorry I wasn't here. I wish I could have spared you this," he whispered into the darkness that filled their room.

"John?" Anna muttered with her eyes still closed.

"Yes my love, I'm here," he answered.

Her eyes opened and she gave off a half smile and mumbled, "You came for me."

"Of course I came for you," John replied as he swept a loose strand of hair from her face. "Why wouldn't I?"

"Mrs. Hughes...she doesn't like men in the women's sleeping quarters," she said drowsily.

Under any other circumstances he would have smiled and laughed with her, but not now. It seemed that with the loss of their baby the happiness that had once made it's home in their cottage had been taken with it. John felt her head and realized she must have been hallucinating things or become disoriented from the fever; she carried on mumbling things about the Abbey as if they weren't married yet. He took a cool washcloth from the pitcher that Mrs. Hughes had left on the bedside table and dabbed it on Anna's forehead. The whole time his eyes were trained on her stomach where their baby had been such a short time ago.

"You wont leave me will you?" she asked in a groggy voice.

"No my darling. I'm not going anywhere, I promise," he said resolutely.