-REMEMBER ME-
CHAPTER EIGHT
Reunion
"Have we met before?" you ask. I nod.
You sigh, your eyebrows drawn together, and you pour the tea for both of us. You take yours with lots of cream and lots of sugar. I tip two sugars in mine and a bit less cream than yours.
I can't help but notice you wait until I drink before you do.
"It's not poisoned," I tell you with a smile.
"There are many who would have me dead right now. Where the Master is involved, it's best not to trust anyone."
"I'm not working for the Master," I say.
You take a good long look at me, and finally you drink your tea.
"If the Master wanted to kill me, he'd do it in a way that is much more showy than poisoned tea."
I laugh. You smile with me, a sparkle in your eyes.
"You seem to have me at a disadvantage," you say.
"You still don't recognize me?" I ask. You shake your head. It's time to come clean, I realize. After all this time. My heartbeats pick up slightly, and I take a deep breath. "We played together as children. Remember?"
The smile fades from your face, and your eyes go wide. And you look at me now, and you really, really look at me.
"Clara?" you breathe. You finally see me, after so long. "Is it you?"
I smile.
"It is you, isn't it?" And you smile in wonder. "You're Clara! My Clara! Look at you! Goodness, how you've grown."
And then, suddenly, the past two hundred years or so don't matter anymore to me, and for you, however long it's been for you, though I know it's been even longer, they don't matter to you, either.
Your research completely forgotten, I suddenly find myself in your arms, and you're hugging me like there's no tomorrow. You're hugging me like we've never been apart, like we're still eight years old. You're laughing, and I'm crying. My tears run into your beautiful scarf, but you don't seem to mind.
"I've missed you," I say to you, my arms wrapped tight around your middle, the biggest smile on my face.
"You've regenerated," you say, after you pull back slightly to look at me. Your hand comes up to my cheek, as though that was where it belonged, where it had always belonged and always will belong.
"So have you," I laugh. You laugh, too, a deep chuckle that vibrates right through me, filling me up whole in a way that I hadn't felt since Rory died. And your smile lights up my entire world. "I saved you, do you remember?"
You hesitate. You're running through a dozen different memories in your head, and there's a hint of something, but I'm not quite sure what it is. Your arms tighten around me, as if you're afraid to let me go. As if you've lost me already, even though I'm right here. "I'm ashamed to say I don't recall."
My first feeling is a sense of disappointment. Because all I've ever wanted was for you to remember me.
"That's how it happened," I tell you. "It was the Daleks. On Earth. I died to save you."
You look slightly uncomfortable that you still don't remember. And you look so very sorry that you don't, which is why I've already forgiven you.
"I'm sorry," you say, and you look properly ashamed. "I really am terribly sorry."
I smile, and hug you tight again. "It's alright, Doctor."
I let you go, and we both sit down again. And you're looking at me with a bright wonder that I haven't seen on your face since we were eight years old.
And you ask me what I've been up to, how my life has been, what have I done? And I hesitate to tell you everything, because the loss is still so fresh in my mind. But you know I'm holding back, and you poke and you prod and I end up telling you everything.
And you listen, oddly, even though it's not really you to sit and listen. I know the only reason you're doing so is because it's me, and you feel like you owe me. Maybe it's because you're genuinely curious. Maybe it's for a reason I hope beyond hope is real, but I don't dare tread on that line of thought.
And you comfort me. You give me advice, because you're wise and clever and you've been there before. You've loved and lost and know exactly how it is that I feel. You don't tell me it was a mistake, that I never should have let myself fall in love in the first place, because you know that such a thing is impossible to stop.
And you tell me of your own stories, you tell me all the adventures you've had, you tell me of the people you've loved and lost.
You tell me of Sarah Jane, that your hearts are still broken over leaving her. You tell me that you had no choice, because humans aren't allowed on Gallifrey.
But there's more to it than that, I know. Because after my story about Rory, I can see in your eyes, though you say nothing, you have no intention of going back for her. You don't want to watch her grow old and die the way I did with Rory. You know that you won't be able to help falling in love with her any more than you already have. Even if falling in love with her just means you're the best of friends.
I know that you're running away from Sarah Jane, because that's what you do. I know you're running away from the potential pain, because you think you're not strong enough to take it. You think it's better this way.
The only thing I can do is hold your hand.
Run you clever boy, and remember me.