Support: Syllabification: sup·port Verb.1) Give approval, comfort or encouragement. Example: Your spouse is there to comfort and support you, so depend on him or her a little.

CHAPTER FIVE

"Is…it something that will scare me?"

"Possibly."

Edward played with his chin as he went right back into a deep thought. I wasn't ready to tell him what the number one slash number ten item was. It was something rather trivial but I knew that Edward wouldn't like it so, when he asked me what the last item was on the list, I told him that I had given it some thought and currently didn't feel that now was the right time to divulge that information. Of course, Edward kept pestering me so we came up with a compromise, if he guessed it, I would tell him.

"Is it something life threatening."

"If…you find out…quite possibly."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well, it's something that may make you mad…may make you want to kill me or someone else. Depends on your frame of mind at the time." I replied.

He stood there staring at me and then finally shook his head, pulling back the bed sheets. "Let's just put this on pause. It's Christmas Eve and one year ago today, you allowed me back into your life. I want to celebrate how far we've come."

Edward slid into bed and started to pat the sheets suggestively.

"You want to have sex on Christmas?"

"Why not?"

"Because…it's the birth of our Lord…kinda creepy, if you ask me."

"You've never had sex on Christmas?" He asked, completely floored.

"I'm a good girl, I am." I replied in my best Eliza Doolittle.

"There's nothing creepy about it. We are two people in love who want to celebrate the birth of Christ in a…rather common fashion." Edward tried.

"Not in the eyes of God. To him we are two people copulating out-of-wedlock. We are sinners. Big fat sinners."

"Well then…light a candle and we'll do it in missionary."

"Blasphemy!" I shook my naughty finger at him.

"Well, we could have been married by now, if someone would have just said yes…I guess we could go into that conversation instead of me doing marvelous, delectable things to your beautiful body."

I jumped straight into bed. "Move on over, we're going straight to hell."

"But what a way to go." Edward replied, climbing on top of me.

He began to kiss me deeply, but I pushed him off and climbed on top.

"If I really am going to hell for this, I am sure as shit not going to waste this on missionary."

"So sodomy?"

"It's not your birthday, big boy."

"On my birthday?" He marveled.

"Ew! No! Now shut up and do me."

"So romantic."

"You don't get hearts and flowers on Christmas." I replied.

"Of course, that's only brought out for Valentine's day."

"Yep, and fireworks for the Fourth of July."

"What about Halloween?"

"Creepy, freaky sex."

"Damn, why couldn't it be Halloween?"

"And for Christmas?" I asked.

"Going straight to hell sex."

"Damn straight." I giggled.

I had just gotten my panties good and wet when Edward's cell phone started ringing.

"NOOOO!" I shook my fist in the air. "Thwarted again!"

"Just stop. We'll get back to this in a second." Edward leaned up and pulled his phone off the charger.

"It's my mom." He said, confused. He hit the talk button and I slid right off his lap, my erection completely shattered.

"Hey mom, what's up?"

I watched as Edward got up and walked over to the window, listening to whatever his mother had to say. It had to be important for her to call after midnight.

"Are you sure? Oh my god! We'll be right there."

Edward hung up and looked over to me, "My dad…he…he's in the hospital. We…I…have to go."

I jumped out of bed. "We have to go. Let's get dressed."

I saw Edward nod, but he looked completely lost. I had never seen him like this before. It really scared me, because I was the absolute worse person to help in these kinds of situations. I threw some clothes at Edward and, mindlessly, he dressed himself. I snatched my keys and took over with anything where thinking was involved. We made it to the hospital in rapid time and, for once in my life, finding the correct hospital room wasn't difficult. Edward looked in the window of where his dad laid inside and quickly stepped back.

"What's wrong?" I asked, worried.

"Uh…my mom…she's not in there."

"Okay, well we'll wait for her. I'm sure she's around here somewhere. Let's go in." I started to pull on the door, but Edward backed up.

"I should go find her. Something must be wrong. I need to find her."

"Edward, shouldn't you stay with your dad? Your mom will come along when she's done with whatever she's doing."

"No. You stay. I should go and help her." He backed away from me before spinning around and charging off in the opposite direction. I was left with a real conundrum. Go after Edward and help him with whatever he was dealing with, since he did look awfully upset, or go and stay with Carlisle, hoping Esme would find her son and bring him back. However, since hospitals were known for their maze like atmosphere and, suddenly, Edward had turned into Speedy Gonzalez, I chose to go in and sit with Carlisle.

I walked in cautiously, hoping to not wake the private room occupant. Carlisle was asleep and looked peaceful enough but, for the first time since I met the man, he did look aged. I walked closer toward the bed and stopped to let out a sigh as I stared down over his weak little body. I had no idea what was the matter with him but I prayed, for the Cullen's sake, that it wasn't too serious. I knew what it was like to lose such an important person in your life, and I wanted to spare Edward and his family that pain. How was Edward ever going to deal with the loss of his father? It's like the most horrific thing to go through.

"Bella." Carlisle's raspy voice sent me to jump back a step.

"Hey…how you doing?"

I wanted to smack my head the second I uttered those words. How you doing? Hello! How do you thing he's doing, Bella!

"Come closer." His raspy voice implored.

I looked around, momentarily wondering if I should even be engaging. He should rest, not lay here and keep me company. I slowly moved closer to his bed and sat down in the chair beside him.

"There's…something I need you to do for me. I don't have much time…"

My heart started to pick up, and I could even feel my eyes begin to water. Oh my god! He was going to die and, somehow, he wanted to use whatever few words he had left, on me.

"What is it?" I whispered.

"Take care of Edward…he loves you…promise me that you'll marry him. Promise me that you'll make my lovely wife a grandmother."

I shook the craziness out of my head and stuttered.

"But…uh…Alice is having a baby. She is making your lovely wife a grandmother."

"You're really arguing with a man on his death bed?" He struggled.

"No! I'm merely pointing out that if, for some god forsaken reason, Edward and I fail…she has Alice."

He opened his eyes wider and gave me a stern stare. "But Edward's has always been her favorite. An heir from him…promise me."

Carlisle began coughing and, sensing that my refusal was taking him for a turn of the worse, I quickly agreed.

"All right. I promise. I promise."

"You really promise? You're not just saying that because I'm dying, right? A promise like this is a horrible thing to go back on." He pushed.

"I know…but…like I said, I promise." I vowed.

Suddenly, Carlisle flipped the covers off and jumped out of the bed.

"Well, if you promise. I'm starting to feel loads better already." He smiled and did a little dance.

"You…you…this was all a lie?" I screeched.

"Not entirely. I was…brought to the hospital, but it was just a little scare. New healthier diet. Exercise. Less stress. You know how doctors can be." He grabbed his coat and began to put it on.

"How dare you!" I snapped.

Edward walked in with his mother and the rest of his brothers and sisters just in time to catch the end of my words.

"That was a horrible thing to do to me!"

"Bella!" Edward admonished.

"Good, you're here! Your father's not sick, but I'm about ready to kill him!"

"What did you do, Carlisle?" Esme scolded.

"He acted like he was dying to get me to agree to marrying Edward and then he also said he needed an heir, because he said that you liked Edward more than Alice."

"HEY!" Alice cried.

"It was…just a little fun. Couldn't help myself. I'm sorry, Bella, but you did promise." Carlisle replied.

"Oh, be damned with my promises. I just may never have sex with your son again, just out of spite!"

"What the hell!" Edward yelled.

"I'm not giving you an heir ever again!"

I pushed my way through the throngs of people toward the hospital hallway. I was so pissed off I could spit nails. I could hear Esme yelling at Carlisle as I left and, as much as I wanted to see him get his, I was using all my fury to push my legs. What a horrible thing to do to a person. I was genuinely worried for Carlisle and his family. I don't care if he was playing a prank; death is not something you should ever joke over.

"Bella!"

"Bella!"

Edward continued to yell after me until he caught up.

"Would you wait a second?" He grabbed my arm pulling me to a stop.

"NO! I want to go home. Stay with your father and have your brother drop you off later, but I am not staying here another minute."

"It was a prank…a horrible prank, I'll admit, but would you please just…give my father a chance to apologize properly? The man had a scare tonight and I don't want what ever is wrong with him to get worse. Please do this. For me."

"It was a scare, Edward. He has to eat better, exercise, and have less stress, but he's fine. I'm not asking you to choose between me or him. I want you to go back to him and be with your family, but I'm tired and I'm upset, and I meant every word I said to him and I was scared. Really scared because I thought for just a moment, when I was in there with him, that you were going to lose your father, and I knew how painful that would be. I was scared. I was scared for you."

Edward wiped the tear from off my cheek and kissed my head.

"I don't want you going home by yourself. Would you please just wait in the lobby? I won't be long. Please don't leave."

I sighed, feeling myself begin to calm.

"Fine, I'll be in the lobby."

"Thank you." Edward kissed me once more and then turned to go off and search for his family. I looked around the hall and struggled to find my way to the lobby. After a few confusing minutes, I was off and headed in the right direction. I walked slowly toward the lobby and found a generic chair to sit down in. Late night reruns of Jerry Springer playing in the background. I looked around at my depressing surroundings. I hated hospitals. Have I said that enough? I HATED HOSPITIALS!

I looked out the window and noticed that it must have rained while we were inside. The pavement glistened all the way out toward the street and over toward the beautiful lighted fountain that graced the entrance. The water was peaceful to watch and it helped calm my nerves from the previous events.

Fountain.

Number four. Swim in a fountain.

I stood up and, for a second, a foreboding thought tried to occupy my brain, but then it was quickly abandoned. I made my way out toward the fountain and dropped my purse down beside me. I studied it for a moment and then, without a single thing stopping me, I stepped over the short step, straight into the water. The water came up to my knees and I could feel it invade my shoes, making my toes feel squishy under the fabric.

"Bella!" Edward ran out, shouting at me. His entire family behind him, all giving me mixed looks of concern.

"Number four." I called back.

Edward sighed and looked around for a second. He gave me a wave of his hand and replied, "All right… I support you."

I smiled and sunk into the water, making my way toward where the water was falling. With the way it was all lit up, it was absolutely divine. It felt freeing, like the most incredibly freeing moment of my life. The coins from wish makers glistened below me. I laughed and splashed the water all around. I could see Edward standing there with his family, while they peppered him with questions. I guess it was weird to see your son's or brother's girlfriend just step off into a public fountain and go for a swim.

The spectators standing outside my pool may think that I had officially lost it and pondered whether or not this hospital had a good psych ward, but as I floated and swam in maybe the prettiest pool I would ever swim in, I was happy that my bio-dad had placed this on his list.

"Okay, sweetie. I think security has been called, so I'd say you have about five seconds before they cart you off to the white padded room."

Edward held out his hand to me and I figured that bucket list number four was good and finished, so I took his hand and pushed myself up and out. Edward placed his jacket around me and then looked off toward his family.

"So, I guess we'll see you in a couple of hours for Christmas dinner." And without waiting for an answer, Edward steered me toward the parking garage.

"What did you tell them?" I wondered.

"Not a thing. I thought it would be funner to leave them there scratching their heads and wondering what sent you over the deep end."

"Funner is not a word, Ivy boy."

"It's not my fault you're with a simpleton."

"Then take me home, simple Simon!"

"My pleasure…always my pleasure."

We never made it to our Christmas sex, and I somehow wondered if forces intervened on our behalf to keep our souls intact. However, I was awoken the next morning by a mixture of the holiday scents in the air as Edward, true to form, had a special holiday breakfast all whipped up. I was also awoken by the sound of looters as I caught Edward stalking my night stand.

"Did anyone ever tell you that you are so predictable?" I mumbled from the security of my amazing bed.

When I had decided to not fill Edward in on the remaining item on the list, I knew that I would need to hide the book. So last night, I waited until he was in the bathroom having his nightly constitutional to hide my book in the back of the closet, behind all those damn suits. I figured it was a safe place since, like I have told him before, he will never have a need for all those damn suits again. As an added bonus, when I finally did show him that the book had been right under his nose all along, he would see why my argument was valid.

Edward straightened up from where he was crouching by the night stand and sighed.

"I'm only predictable because you won't tell me what the last thing on that list was."

"Would it make you feel better if I told you that the last thing on the list was actually the first thing on the list?" I asked.

"Depends. If you were planning on doing the list in order then I would say yes. However, since you decided to reenact the theme song to Friends last night, I will say probably not." He smiled and then finally joined me in bed. "Maybe I can convince you with my talents to tell me."

He started to kiss me, but I pulled back and pushed him away.

"Morning breath." I reminded him, rolling out the other side of the bed.

"I don't care." He complained.

"I do." I sang, "Gotta keep some of the mystery."

"You know, I really can't imagine a better way of celebrating the birth of our Lord then to make love here upon this beautiful bed of ours."

"Not this old nut again. I think going straight to hell sex went straight out the window after last night. But two points for your sacrilegious nature."

"Says the woman who names her bed after the patron saint of virgins."

"I'm not a Catholic. So those rules don't apply to me." I winked and closed the bathroom door on him.

I have to say there was something extra special about a man who would cook you breakfast. We're talking apple cider pancakes and with, one of my favorites this time of year, eggnog. It was amazing how spoiled I had become in such a short time. Edward sat down beside me at our dining table and paused before picking up his fork.

"What is it?" I asked, wanting to dive in already.

"Do you want your gift now?" Edward asked.

"Santa Claus came?" I teased.

"Santa Edward did indeed." He stood up and walked to our small tree in the corner. He brought back a huge lumpy package and set it on the table. I looked at it, perplexed at what could make such a shape.

"Is it a blender?" I quipped, "You know how much I love gifts that set women back sixty years."

"Damn, they were all out of blenders at the store, but maybe it's a new dishwasher, if you're lucky."

"Damn feminism. I could be sitting on a couch, eating bon bons, while you bring home the bacon."

"You…do sit on the couch…and I do bring home the bacon." He replied.

"Yeah, leftover bacon cheeseburgers."

"Just open the damn gift, little woman."

I huffed and gave him a taxing look before shredding the paper off his gift like a Weed Wacker.

"It's a…blanket." I replied, confused. "How…romantic?"

"Well, you're always complaining that you're cold when you're sitting on the couch so…I thought you might like a blanket."

"Its just the bee's knee's." I smiled up at him. "I'm loving this gift, because I now know that I won. I so got you a better gift." I jumped up from my seat and skipped over to the tree to bring back an envelope.

"You didn't win. There is nothing to win. Giving gifts out of the love in your heart doesn't constitute a winner." Edward stated.

"That's just what losers say."

"An envelope. Please tell me there's not a gift card in here for Walmart or something. Because then, you definitely did not win."

"But you love those boys in blue."

He ripped open the envelope and found an obscene Christmas card inside. After a little chuckle, he opened the card and a slip of paper fell to the floor. He snatched up the paper and sighed before reading it over.

"Is this…" He started.

"Is this for real?" He asked.

I smiled and shook my head.

"But how? Where? Who?"

"An Edward loss for words. I definitely won!"

"A cooking lesson with Chef Campagna. How in the world did you do this?" Edward asked, completely floored.

"That charity auction that Angela arranged in September. It was one of the items up for bid, and I knew how much you love cooking and Campagna. Seemed like a great idea at the time."

"This is a great idea. Thank you so much, baby." Edward kissed me good and proper, and I was ecstatic that our first holiday gift foray went off without a hitch.

"However, I still think I won."

"Um…yeah the blanket is really great, baby, but…come on..." I gave him the sad little consolation prize look that one would give to their losing opponent. "Blanket. Cooking lesson with famous chef…that is a tough one. But I love my blanket and, in the end, that is what really counts right?"

"You didn't even open the blanket. If you had, you would have found that it was much more than just a blanket."

I pulled back and looked at him questioningly. I walked over to where I had left the blanket and slowly pulled the blue blanket open. In the corner, in small white embroidery, was the Oxford crest.

"You…got me an Oxford blanket. Even though I'm going to UCLA. I don't know how my Alma Mater will feel about this high treason."

"I got you an Oxford blanket." Edward repeated.

"Uh…thank you?"

"I got you the Oxford blanket, because I thought it would be nice to go and visit the Oxford University."

"Huh?"

"You never had a chance to go there and really rule it out for a future. You could still go there, you know."

I smirked and sat back down in my chair next to him. "Edward, I really appreciate this, but I can barely get by at UCLA…I don't think a more grueling school is going to be a better future for me, that is, if I could even get in. Plus, you're not going to uproot yourself and go with me and I don't want to live in a world where there are no apple cider pancakes waiting for me when I wake up in the morning."

"I can go anywhere and do what I do. The world is certainly not lacking in underprivileged or needy people. I want you to make your dreams come true. I already bought the tickets so, come Spring break, instead of going off to some skanky island where minimal clothing is mandatory, we're going to broaden our intellectual horizons."

"But it was my turn to flash the cameras." I whined.

"Flash the boys at Oxford. Trust me, it will yield far better results."

I pulled myself over to Edward's lap and kissed him.

"I'm not saying that I will attend Oxford, but I can't imagine anything better than going and seeing it with you."

"All I can ask for is an open mind." He replied, and then leaned in to kiss me again. "And, I so won."

AN: Thank you for reading and reviewing! If you don't read Loathing You, I posted earlier this week that due to work restraints I am unable to write as often so the posting may slower. I am working hard to get these chapters out to you and don't want you to feel abandon. Also I am rereading Crossfade and am hoping to post a new chapter next month.

Once again I just wanted to say:

The Lottery of Life was nominated for an award. If you read the fic and liked it, please go and vote for the story over at Twifanfictionrecs dot com. I'd really appreciated it. You can vote from now until the end of the month, as many times as you wish.

A great big thank you to Mina Rivera for the beautiful banner she made for this story. I can't say enough how much I love it. You can check it out on my facebook page under Ashley Victoria. Thank you again.

And it was all up to my amazing beta, Robstenvampgirl for her quick work to get this back to me so I could get it to you .

Disclaimer: Characters belong to Stephanie Meyer. Story is mine.